im having trouble cumming

[cdlola]

i have another post on here describing my situation
http://www.cuckolds.com/forums/gene...bbc-please-read-i-need-your-advice-badly.html
lately i cant seem to cum while fucking my wife it takes for ever ,( i know this might sound like a good think for most women) i used to be able to hold out for a pretty good while so she enjoyed sex but lately i cant cum at all especially in her she usally is having to finish me off with a blowjob, i have no problem getting hard or staying hard though

 

[jmexpat]

Stop beating your meat everytime you think about your wife with another guy.

 

[carina_halerose]

it might just be your mind telling your body that you are a cuck now and should not cum in her because that is for real men now

 

[SoonToBe]

jmexpat is correct. I too found that once Sue started with other guys, that I would sometimes masturbate too much and leave myself too drained. Now I've learned to pace myself to maximize my enjoyment.

As far as Carina's post - that could be true too. I know that sometimes when I can't get there with Sue that we'll take a fuck-break and she'll keep herself at the edge with her favorite dildo till I"m ready. A lot of the time I need to form a mental image in my head of her getting fucked by her lover (or afterwards) to get me to go over the edge and cum in her.

 

[cdlola]

i dont think its cause i masterbate to much ,i have cut that back quite a bit a while back i only do it once or twice a week (depending on how often im getting sex) i am able to cum normally while masterbating ,just during sex it takes a long time

 

[gw3n]

it's your fem side coming out

CDLola,

your fem side is coming out. maybe you'd cum easier with a Bull's cock massaging your prostrate and another one banging your throat. you could "double date" with your wife.

 

[CuckoldMick]

Do you take "happy pills" [ie Viagra]? If so, a number of men I have talked to said they have trouble cumming. I take the "pill" and it's true about half the time--- get nice and hard, but can't finish it off. Just a thought.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Your wife should take control of this problem.

Cdlola,

I dont think its cause i masterbate too much, i have cut that back quite a bit. I only do it once or twice a week, depending on how often i'm getting sex. I am able to cum normally while masterbating, but during sex it takes a long time.

If you're beating your weenie once or twice a week and finding you can't cum when your wife fucks you, that's too much beating your weenie... maybe way too much.

I suggest submissively explaining this problem to your wife (while looking down at her feet), confessing that you're unable to control yourself, and asking your wife if she will please purchase a chastity device for you and become your sole key holder. Since you've said you have a large cock in earlier posts, you may need a "curve" (designed for relatively large cocks). Also, it may be necessary for your wife to correspond — or for her to order you to correspond — with the manufacturer prior to placing your order, to make sure you obtain one that fits.

Your wife should then unlock you, of course, only when she feels like fucking you, thereby (in effect) strictly prohibiting any unauthorized weenie-beating on your part. I recommend, however, first submissively asking your wife to please read:

Male chastity advantages for women:
http://www.angelfire.com/id2/Hawaii/MaleCh.html

especially if she doesn't seem to understand the advantages to her of requiring you to wear a male chastity device. Here are some types and manufacturers for your wife and you to consider.

http://www.cb-2000.com/

http://www.exobelt.com/mDefault.htm

http://steelwerksextreme.com/blog/?cat=7

http://www.tollyboy.com/new/male.php

http://www.steelworxx.de/index.php?sid=h9BMkkp25KvjPQXRzZoTm7tsUTbmbs&setvar=aktuelle_Gruppe:1

http://www.chastitytube.com/

—Custer

 

[cdlola]

Do you take "happy pills" [ie Viagra]? If so, a number of men I have talked to said they have trouble cumming. I take the "pill" and it's true about half the time--- get nice and hard, but can't finish it off. Just a thought.

im not on any type of pills "happy time" lol i also dont think its because of to much masterbating it seems like only since everything happened recently that this is happening ,im 95% sure its not cause i jerkoff 2 much i used to do it at least once a day until recently, i think its all in y head probally but i dont know why or how to fix it
i also dont think its because of my wife as she has been dressing hotter, we went to the movies and shopping again this weekend and she wore a short little dress with no panties ,and shes been way more frisky with me also

 

[SoonToBe]

Perhaps you have replaced the arousal from the physical stimulation to be arousal from mental stimulation.
I went through a short period like this a few years ago where it was more of the mental images in my head that would drive me over trhe edge to orgasm rather than the physical feeling.

For me - I sort of re-trained myself to be more in tune with they physical part and that meant not masturbating so as to increase sensitivity to touch as well as relaxing on the porn either when I was masturbating or even when I wasn't.

I also found that I seemed to have lost "the art" of foreplay and buildup. Once I put all of these back in harmony, the issue seemed to resolve itself.

Now when we have sex - I find I can cum quickly if I focus on the physical feelings no matter what else. Or i can take a long time if I let my mind go off on fantasies. The other solution that worked for me was to combine sensations in my head so that the physical went with the mental. Example - if she feels loose - then I merge the sensations of my cock in her stretched pussy with mental images of her being fucked first and then it being my turn. If she's feeling tight - I merge that physical feeling with thoughts of me "getting her ready" for another guy. That usually does the trick.

The last thing I can say is that I derive a lot of pleasure from seeing and feeling her orgasm on my cock (or whatever) that sometimes it's not that big a deal if I don't cum as in a way, I've gotten-off on her....

 

[Custer Laststand]

Cdlola,

I also dont think [my reduced ability to cum] is because of my wife, as she has been dressing hotter. We went to the movies and shopping again this weekend, and she wore a short little dress with no panties. She's also been way more frisky with me.

The problem — or at least part of it — may be a subliminal feeling on your part that your wife expects more and hotter sex from you, and you aren't up to it. I suggest this because you said in earlier posts that your wife fucked you about once or twice per month and (I gather) did not seem all that interested in sex. You had no problem with that frequency (it sounded like), and were able to cum without difficulty each time she fucked you.

Now that you behave more submissively toward your wife, are doing significantly more of the housework (is that still the case?), and are encouraging her sexuality by encouraging her to talk about her past experience fucking her black lover and fantasies about her taking a lover, she has blossomed. She now wears hotter clothing whenever she goes out in public (that's good), and is rewarding you by fucking you much more frequently (that, of course, is also good).

But, your wife's increased displays of sexuality may also be giving rise to feelings of insecurity on your part and a deep-seated feeling that, even though you're trying to respond to her, you aren't capable of giving her all she wants and needs. Ergo, your increased difficulty with cumming.

One thing to take into account is whether the increased time you now take to cum, including not cumming at all sometimes, is positive in the sense that it gives your wife all the time she needs to orgasm (multiple times, perhaps). If so, I suggest considering it a "plus" and finding satisfaction in your wife being more fully satisfied even if sometimes you aren't. You can consider it part of your role and duty to satisfy your wife sexually whenever she wants it, regardless of your own needs and desires, and your natural duty to appeal to your wife's sexuality and desire for dominance by being her submissive husband.

In other words, continue giving your wife sex whenever you suspect even slightly she wants it, and don't worry about whether you cum yourself. Concern yourself only with whether your wife orgasms.

In addition, I suggest placing more emphasis on your role as your wife's cuntsucker. Along with kissing your wife's feet (and legs and thighs) frequently, carry it to completion by sucking her cunt until she orgasms. Do this every day or (say) four or five times a week — i.e., as often as she seems to want it and find it pleasurable. Whenever you suck your wife's cunt, stop after she orgasms and don't expect her to fuck you. Rather, only give her penetrative sex if she tells you to after you have brought her to orgasm by sucking her cunt.

Incidentally, is your wife complaining about you not "cumming" each time she fucks you? Does she seem to view this as a problem, or are you the only one who views this as a problem?

—Custer

 

[cdlola]

Perhaps you have replaced the arousal from the physical stimulation to be arousal from mental stimulation.
I went through a short period like this a few years ago where it was more of the mental images in my head that would drive me over trhe edge to orgasm rather than the physical feeling.

For me - I sort of re-trained myself to be more in tune with they physical part and that meant not masturbating so as to increase sensitivity to touch as well as relaxing on the porn either when I was masturbating or even when I wasn't.

I also found that I seemed to have lost "the art" of foreplay and buildup. Once I put all of these back in harmony, the issue seemed to resolve itself.

Now when we have sex - I find I can cum quickly if I focus on the physical feelings no matter what else. Or i can take a long time if I let my mind go off on fantasies. The other solution that worked for me was to combine sensations in my head so that the physical went with the mental. Example - if she feels loose - then I merge the sensations of my cock in her stretched pussy with mental images of her being fucked first and then it being my turn. If she's feeling tight - I merge that physical feeling with thoughts of me "getting her ready" for another guy. That usually does the trick.

The last thing I can say is that I derive a lot of pleasure from seeing and feeling her orgasm on my cock (or whatever) that sometimes it's not that big a deal if I don't cum as in a way, I've gotten-off on her....

i also love when she cums on my cock while im in her that is 1 of my biggest turnons ,and lately i have had to imagine her getting fucked by other men to cum my self i guess i dont really know if shes cumming cause of me or if shes thinking of someone else in her

 

[cdlola]

Cdlola,



The problem — or at least part of it — may be a subliminal feeling on your part that your wife expects more and hotter sex from you, and you aren't up to it. I suggest this because you said in earlier posts that your wife fucked you about once or twice per month and (I gather) did not seem all that interested in sex. You had no problem with that frequency (it sounded like), and were able to cum without difficulty each time she fucked you.

Now that you behave more submissively toward your wife, are doing significantly more of the housework (is that still the case?), and are encouraging her sexuality by encouraging her to talk about her past experience fucking her black lover and fantasies about her taking a lover, she has blossomed. She now wears hotter clothing whenever she goes out in public (that's good), and is rewarding you by fucking you much more frequently (that, of course, is also good).

But, your wife's increased displays of sexuality may also be giving rise to feelings of insecurity on your part and a deep-seated feeling that, even though you're trying to respond to her, you aren't capable of giving her all she wants and needs. Ergo, your increased difficulty with cumming.

One thing to take into account is whether the increased time you now take to cum, including not cumming at all sometimes, is positive in the sense that it gives your wife all the time she needs to orgasm (multiple times, perhaps). If so, I suggest considering it a "plus" and finding satisfaction in your wife being more fully satisfied even if sometimes you aren't. You can consider it part of your role and duty to satisfy your wife sexually whenever she wants it, regardless of your own needs and desires, and your natural duty to appeal to your wife's sexuality and desire for dominance by being her submissive husband.

In other words, continue giving your wife sex whenever you suspect even slightly she wants it, and don't worry about whether you cum yourself. Concern yourself only with whether your wife orgasms.

In addition, I suggest placing more emphasis on your role as your wife's cuntsucker. Along with kissing your wife's feet (and legs and thighs) frequently, carry it to completion by sucking her cunt until she orgasms. Do this every day or (say) four or five times a week — i.e., as often as she seems to want it and find it pleasurable. Whenever you suck your wife's cunt, stop after she orgasms and don't expect her to fuck you. Rather, only give her penetrative sex if she tells you to after you have brought her to orgasm by sucking her cunt.

Incidentally, is your wife complaining about you not "cumming" each time she fucks you? Does she seem to view this as a problem, or are you the only one who views this as a problem?

—Custer

i think your right custer she loves that im giving her longer pleasure but even shes getting tired its going so long and i am also tired by the end, but i have been giving her plenty of massages and eating her as often as she wants (which shes loving) im not sure if she even realizes that a few times i didnt even cum because we fucked so long that she cums several times her self and she is a heavy cummer ,if shes noticed she hasent said anything to me about it

 

[Cuckmaster414]

Definitely the anxiety has you! As previously mentioned, I think you might have to cease the masturbation for a while till your cock strength returns. That is unless you enjoy the worthless limp dick feeling like I sometimes do. I know how overwhelming the very thought of your wife's pussy being pumped with cum from other men can be. My wife just started her hotwife adventures, and trust me, I literally have hourly erections thinking about them. Find your inner peace man.

 

[cdlola]

Definitely the anxiety has you! As previously mentioned, I think you might have to cease the masturbation for a while till your cock strength returns. That is unless you enjoy the worthless limp dick feeling like I sometimes do. I know how overwhelming the very thought of your wife's pussy being pumped with cum from other men can be. My wife just started her hotwife adventures, and trust me, I literally have hourly erections thinking about them. Find your inner peace man.

yeah im gonna cut out the masterbation completely at least for a while ,i dont really enjoy it i love cumming for her ,the thought of her getting filled with other mens cocks and cum does turn me on but i dont think shes ready for it yet (at least thats what shes telling me) i guess if that does happen its gonna take a while ,hopefully things go back to normal for me soon ,the thing i dont get is that when she jerks me off or gives me a blowjob i cum fine just not during sex

 

[Custer Laststand]

Your wife may be able to bring you to orgasm thru verbal taunting...

Cslola,

yeah im gonna cut out the masterbation completely at least for a while ,i dont really enjoy it

Good... if you can manage it.

i love cumming for my wife, the thought of her getting filled with other mens cocks and cum does turn me on.

Cumming is caused by your brain, so if thinking about those things when your wife is beating or sucking your weenie helps you cum, then think about those things when she's fucking you.

Hopefully things will go back to normal for me soon, the thing i dont get is that when she jerks me off or gives me a blowjob i cum fine just not during sex.

When your wife beats your weenie or gives you a blow job, those are definitely forms of sex. You might consider suggesting to her she beat your weenie with her hand (so she can talk), softly taunting you until you're right on the verge of orgasm, then say something like, "you want to cum, don't you, sugar-lips...?" Then suggest to her that when you say, "yes, please, mistress," she say, "well you can't, sweetie-buns, I'm not going to allow you to cum yet," then abort your orgasm by squeezing the base of your weenie hard. Then, suggest to your wife she mount you (her on top, you on your back) and fuck you, again taunting you saying (e.g.), "if you want to cum, hunny-buns, you'll have to do it inside me, but *only* after I cum first then give you permission...", etc. etc. The idea, in other words, is for your wife to bring you to the edge of cumming with her verbal taunts and commands, then keep you there by not allowing you to cum until she gives you permission — if you try to cum without her permission, she should abort your orgasm by squeezing hard on the base of your weenie — such that when she finally gives you permission, your "pent up desire to cum" is such that you do so.

Does your wife want to get pregnant, and do you also want to make her pregnant?

—Custer

 

[cdlola]

thanks again custer

Cslola,



Good... if you can manage it.



Cumming is caused by your brain, so if thinking about those things when your wife is beating or sucking your weenie helps you cum, then think about those things when she's fucking you.



When your wife beats your weenie or gives you a blow job, those are definitely forms of sex. You might consider suggesting to her she beat your weenie with her hand (so she can talk), softly taunting you until you're right on the verge of orgasm, then say something like, "you want to cum, don't you, sugar-lips...?" Then suggest to her that when you say, "yes, please, mistress," she say, "well you can't, sweetie-buns, I'm not going to allow you to cum yet," then abort your orgasm by squeezing the base of your weenie hard. Then, suggest to your wife she mount you (her on top, you on your back) and fuck you, again taunting you saying (e.g.), "if you want to cum, hunny-buns, you'll have to do it inside me, but *only* after I cum first then give you permission...", etc. etc. The idea, in other words, is for your wife to bring you to the edge of cumming with her verbal taunts and commands, then keep you there by not allowing you to cum until she gives you permission — if you try to cum without her permission, she should abort your orgasm by squeezing hard on the base of your weenie — such that when she finally gives you permission, your "pent up desire to cum" is such that you do so.

Does your wife want to get pregnant, and do you also want to make her pregnant?

—Custer

she very much wants to get pregnant ,shes wanted to for years now and we have been trying for a while (im ok with her getting pregnant also) she feels like she only has a few more years left to get pregnant till she will probally be to old to have a baby

 

[cdlola]

i think shes been lying to me lately also , i found out today that she has another email address that i didnt know about and she wont even tell me what it is, plus she seems to be sneaky around me i dont know how to explain it i just know somethings up with her

 

[cdlola]

another thing is that she has lost interest in sex again ,were slowly going back to the way we were, im guessing we will only have sex once or twice a month again very soon, im doing everything for her cleaning cooking offering footrubs oral sex massages and nothing she just isnt interested

 

[Custer Laststand]

Another thing is, my wife has lost interest in sex again. We're slowly going back to the way we were. I'm guessing we will only have sex once or twice a month again very soon. I'm doing everything for her: cleaning, cooking, offering her footrubs, oral sex, massages, and she just isn't interested.

When you say "your wife just isn't interested," do you mean she accepts frequent footrubs, oral sex and messages from you, but she isn't interested in sex beyond that?

Or, do you mean your wife isn't interested in you giving her footrubs, oral sex and messages, nor is she interested in sex beyond those sensuous forms of foreplay?

As a present, did you give your wife copies of "Around Her Finger," by Ken Addison (2004), and "The New Bride's Guide to Training Her Husband," by Emily and Ken Addison (2005), and did you persuade her to read one or both of those books?

Also, did you read one or both of those books yourself?