Hi Ms. Lexxi,
lexxi said:
Hubby and I took a long time deciding what we were going to do, and we came up with what we think is the best for US.
Good...
lexxi said:
So, part of my big news is that I am going off the pill tomorrow, February 1st. Also, we have decided that the baby will be fathered by a black man.
Cool...
lexxi said:
With that in mind, hubby and I separated in the middle of November. I am currently openly dating black men, and that is now known by my family, his family, mine and hubby's co-workers, our friends and neighbors. Our PLAN is to get back together when I am about half way along. This will create a situation where no one will be shocked or surprised about my baby.
Hm... an aficionado of arithmetic might conclude that 2-1/2 months from mid-Nov. 'til Feb. 1 plus 4-1/2 months 'til you're half-way along, if you get pregnant immediately on Feb. 2, will be 7 months of separation. That's a lot of separation. Have you considered getting back together after some shorter length of time, say 2 months after you become pregnant, on the grounds that would accomplish the same purpose while reducing the probability of you and your husband drifting apart permanently...?
Also, do you and your husband have a "plan B" if it should turn out it takes you significantly longer... for instance, many months longer... to get pregnant than you expect?
lexxi said:
We have decided to have 2 or 3 children, so when any other children are also black, people will probably be surprised but not necessarily shocked.
While shopping at my preferred grocery emporium a while back, not all that long ago, I noticed a white woman pushing a grocery cart with two very young and attractive black children riding in it. I had the impression they were hers, although I didn't know that. They were intermediate brown, not deep black, as one might expect of mixed-race children. None of the other shoppers, who were predominantly white, gave her strange looks or "whispered behind her back" (as far as I could tell).
lexxi said:
Like I said, this is what we feel is right for us, and I'd love questions or comments but no advise at this time. This is a pretty tough road and we have to walk it ourselves.
Since you've already established your sexual preference for black men and the fact that you actively pursue that among your relatives, friends and co-workers; and since the birth of your baby-to-be will establish clearly that her or his biological father was a black man (not your husband); and since an unknown number of months may pass, conceivably, before you become pregnant: have you and your husband considered simply getting back together again in the near future, since nothing will be added to the certainty of his non-paternity by continuing your separation...?
I've phrased this query as a mild question, in hopes you will not interpret it as "unwanted advice."
Best wishes —
Custer