Hiki - what she wants is to be able to let go of everything and have either me or a lover take her to the pleasure she wants. I know that when the circumstances are right, that I can and probably will always be able to do it to her.
But the reality is that I know that as she's said "you wanted this" meaning I wanted her to be the way she used to be and to WANT sex, is that she wants this kind of sex more often than I can give it to her.
I'm going to say now that I honestly want her to have it too. It's weird but I get an intense feeling of satisfaction knowing what is happening. Yes it's still anxious and angst-full and at times I still think I'm crazy - but the feelings I have knowing what she is doing far outweigh the concerns. I think that my support for her and in response, her feeling comfortable opening up to me and being able to explain what she wants and is feeling - is making it easier to accept.
I'm laughing right now - isnt' that the definition of a cuckold?! LOL....
There are still many things that we haven't discussed - she knows that I enjoyed her teasing me wearing panties and denying me - but at the same time I know that until she feels more desired that she probably won't be as interested in that. And then, there's the whole other pink-elephant in the room, her fascination with condoms. I've mentioned some of this but it seems that with her feeling disappointment with Frank, that seems to have put these things between us onto the back-burner a bit.
I understand this and I'm going to leave it up to her to lead this. I see she wants to move on - Will and Peak are right on this - but I want her to do it at her pace. She'll talk about it but without something (someone?) to focus on it doesn't seem to have the same effect (I recall her comment about "why would I want to deny myself")....
And I will certainly make it clear here and now - yes - I want to see her reaction and how she is in Jamaica. She's seen black guys naked on the nude beach but this will be the first time where I could possibly say to her "what happens in Jamaica stays in Jamaica...." - of course that's assuming there's a degree of sexuality to where we're going.....
But the reality is that I know that as she's said "you wanted this" meaning I wanted her to be the way she used to be and to WANT sex, is that she wants this kind of sex more often than I can give it to her.
I'm going to say now that I honestly want her to have it too. It's weird but I get an intense feeling of satisfaction knowing what is happening. Yes it's still anxious and angst-full and at times I still think I'm crazy - but the feelings I have knowing what she is doing far outweigh the concerns. I think that my support for her and in response, her feeling comfortable opening up to me and being able to explain what she wants and is feeling - is making it easier to accept.
I'm laughing right now - isnt' that the definition of a cuckold?! LOL....
There are still many things that we haven't discussed - she knows that I enjoyed her teasing me wearing panties and denying me - but at the same time I know that until she feels more desired that she probably won't be as interested in that. And then, there's the whole other pink-elephant in the room, her fascination with condoms. I've mentioned some of this but it seems that with her feeling disappointment with Frank, that seems to have put these things between us onto the back-burner a bit.
I understand this and I'm going to leave it up to her to lead this. I see she wants to move on - Will and Peak are right on this - but I want her to do it at her pace. She'll talk about it but without something (someone?) to focus on it doesn't seem to have the same effect (I recall her comment about "why would I want to deny myself")....
And I will certainly make it clear here and now - yes - I want to see her reaction and how she is in Jamaica. She's seen black guys naked on the nude beach but this will be the first time where I could possibly say to her "what happens in Jamaica stays in Jamaica...." - of course that's assuming there's a degree of sexuality to where we're going.....