Update
Hi all,
thanks for your interesting comments. Now I will give you an update on the development between my daughter and her bf about their future relationship:
As I told you in my previous posts the behaviour of my daughter Birgit changed. During her night outs with her mother/my wife Nadine she developed her "wild side" having sex with different partners even if she was shocked when she found out the details about our life style. Also we found out that most of her lover were older than 35 or maybe older than 40. Before she always said that people older than 30 are nearly "at the end of their life cycle"!
For all new readers, maybe not reading the old posts I want to tell you, that Birgit is full grown with an age of 23, so not a child anymore.
These older guys were sex partners but not her steady bf's. Now she found a nice young man, below 30 and they fell in love for each other. GREAT but she was in a difficult situation now.
I was on business trip in Swizerland and Birgit visited her mother in the evening of Thursday this week. She told her mother that she did not want to go out but having a serious discussion with her. Birgit told her mother that she had fallen in love with her new bf. Nadine was entusiastic, saying that we had the impression they would fit very good to each other and that we would support a "project" like this with all our possibilities.
Birgit thanked her mother but told her that this should not be a problem, there is another one. She told that her new bf has strict rules and wants to have a relationship strictly based on trust and fidelity.
Nadine asked: "And what is the problem about it?"
Birgit, looking for a right answer paused a minute, trying to find the right words and answered: " Mother, even if I critisised your lifestyle in the beginning I found out that it is some kind of thrill to live in that way. At the moment I enjoy having my regular night outs, knowing a lot of nice people, nice men, and honestly speaking also having sex with some of them. So on one hand I love my new bf with all my hard, and on the other hand I do not know if I am ready to have a strictly monogamous relationship according his rules. In my opinion I am too young to have this kind of relationship. I tried to discuss the possible levels but I had the impression that his strict frame does not allow any exceptions from his procedure.
So please give me some advice, I do not know what to do because I do not want to loose him, BUT I also do not want to follow his strict principles. I don't want to stopp my regular night out's even with you or with someone else."
Nadine replied: "When you found out about our life style we were in a similar difficult situation and we did not know how to handle it. So we asked some people for advice. I had endless discussions with your father finding out the right way to go. We had a lot of different advices but at the end it was our decision how to handle this problem. We decided for one given advice and this was HONESTY and TRUST. As you can see on your own person this developed successful so I want to give you my recommendation, also use HONESTY and TRUST."
Both were silent looking at each other with contemplative faces. At the end Birdit smiled, said thank you to her mother and left. Sunday Birgit came by for breakfast and informed us that everything went well. She informed her bf about her difficulties. He listened in silence. At the end he asked some questions, she answered in an honest way and said: "I do not know if I am able to live in such kind of relationship. That is totally differend from all my imaginations I ever had. Please give me some days to think about it, I will also be very honest with my answer. But I agree that it is much more preferable to discuss these topics in advance than doing it behind the back of the partner." On Saturday evening he informed Birgit that he cannot agree at the moment but is willing to try it. So they agreed having a trial period before deciding about it.
Birgit's final comment was: "The future will show us how far we will go. At the moment I do not know if he prefers to be informed about all the details of my night outs or if he will accept without knowing what happend there. But let us wait, he has to see how it will proceed and then he can decide whatever he wants."
So as it looks like, another example about the fact that women have stronger personalities!
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Ciao
fred