Why men share their wives.

[Son of John]

I have some thoughts on WHY men are willing to share their wives' pussies with other men. I want to know if the readers agree, or not.

1. Lack of self-esteem! These men may feel "bad" about themselves for any number of reasons. They may have small dicks, or not be able to give their wives sexual satisfaction. They may have "failed" in other ventures in life, such as careers, or financially, and transfered this to failure as fuckers too.

2. They may feel guilty about something, and use this method of "making it up" to their wives by giving her the added pleasure of getting fucked by other men than their husbands. This guilt is usually because the husband has fucked other women and feels he owes it to his wife to give her the same chance for extra-marital fucks.

3. The husband is wanting to punish his wife for something. It may be that she has fucked with other men behind his back, and when he found out he decided to punish her by pressuring her into giving fucks to other guys that she might not give fucks to if she was doing the choosing. Also, if the husband is there to watch the other men "use" his wife's naked body, then he feels a certain amount of control in the situation. After that he doesn't have to only remember that other men fucked his wife, but that HE let other men fuck her. That makes a big difference for the male ego!

4. He may be bisexual to some degree. A wife-sharing husband may have a subliminal desire to have sexual contact with other men, but can't admit it to anyone, including himself. When he gives his wife's body as a surrogate, then he gets the thrill much like if it was his body the other man was fucking. In most wife-sharing situations in which both men are present, there is nearly always a bit of contact between the two men. The husband may even suck the other man's cock because his wife wants him to.

So, what do you think? Do you agree of disagree? Tell me.

 

[enser]

Not 1
Not 2
Not 3
And not 4
There are so many possibilities a book could be written. And then the experts would be quarreling about the reasons. Therefore :
“Do not look for a reason, cause people are unreasonable!”

 

[Tiger_Bull]

i think 4 of them.....not only one reason

 

[lifelong cuck]

For her pleasure

I have some thoughts on WHY men are willing to share their wives' pussies with other men. I want to know if the readers agree, or not.

1. Lack of self-esteem! These men may feel "bad" about themselves for any number of reasons. They may have small dicks, or not be able to give their wives sexual satisfaction. They may have "failed" in other ventures in life, such as careers, or financially, and transfered this to failure as fuckers too.

2. They may feel guilty about something, and use this method of "making it up" to their wives by giving her the added pleasure of getting fucked by other men than their husbands. This guilt is usually because the husband has fucked other women and feels he owes it to his wife to give her the same chance for extra-marital fucks.

3. The husband is wanting to punish his wife for something. It may be that she has fucked with other men behind his back, and when he found out he decided to punish her by pressuring her into giving fucks to other guys that she might not give fucks to if she was doing the choosing. Also, if the husband is there to watch the other men "use" his wife's naked body, then he feels a certain amount of control in the situation. After that he doesn't have to only remember that other men fucked his wife, but that HE let other men fuck her. That makes a big difference for the male ego!

4. He may be bisexual to some degree. A wife-sharing husband may have a subliminal desire to have sexual contact with other men, but can't admit it to anyone, including himself. When he gives his wife's body as a surrogate, then he gets the thrill much like if it was his body the other man was fucking. In most wife-sharing situations in which both men are present, there is nearly always a bit of contact between the two men. The husband may even suck the other man's cock because his wife wants him to.

So, what do you think? Do you agree of disagree? Tell me.

I want my wife to be pleasured beyond the levels I am capable of taking her, I love her so much that I want her to have all she can have and not be limited by what I can give her. She's capable of responding to so much more than I can give.

 

[SoonToBe]

I love the benefits from her fucking other guys.
She is on fire for days if not weeks afterwards during which time our sexual intensity and pleasure expands 10-fold.
It's done wonders for us as far as improving her self-esteem and giving her more confidence in being able to assert herself both when we're together and when she's with another guy.
As long as she keeps it physical and avoids emotional stuff with the guy. And, as long as you don't mind her enjoying another guy and the guy enjoying her then so far, for us, it seems to be great!

 

[Custer Laststand]

Does your wife have a gas-price dependent backup plan...—?

SoonToBe (or rather, NowYouAre*)—

I love the benefits of her [my wife] fucking other guys. .... It's done wonders for us as far as improving her self-esteem and giving her more confidence in being able to assert herself, both when we're together and when she's with another guy.

Excellent! That sounds like the desired outcome. So how is your wife doing with her new lover? Is she fucking him with some regularity, or was that a one-off?

I can see that with gas over $4.00 / gal. (and no reason to think it will stop at $5.00), the popularity of vans as mobile bedrooms could decrease. Does your wife have a "gas-price dependent backup plan"? She seems resourceful.... I would imagine she'll turn out to be capable of dealing with it if she's placed in the previously-unimaginable position of having to drive (say) a relatively small gas-electric hybrid.

* BTW, re. adopting an updated more-suitable screen name: I'd be surprised if it's possible to change that on this forum. I think the procedure is, you register again with a new screen name, then include a footnote or something in your initial posts to the effect that you're the erstwhile "SoonToBe." The forum administrator seems to be "buzz." Maybe you could ask him....

Regards—
Custer

 

[ou812rich]

My wife and I have been together nearly 30 years, during that time she's cheated on me with at least two other men. I found out about these affairs about 16 years ago from a girl friend of hers after they'd gotten into a fight. I confronted my wife and demanded that she tell me all about who they were, how they met, how the affairs started and what they did when they were together and in bed. I was in shock when I first learned of her cheating but the more I thought about her and another man the more turned on I became. I'm not gay, not a wimp and don't have a little needle dick, what I find exciting is the thought of watching her get fucked and then having sloppy seconds. It excites me to think of playing with her cum filled pussy and sliding my hardon into it when it's really slippery and loose. If they guy has gotten his rocks off and left I might even try a creampie.
So anyway, I guess my attraction to the idea of being cuckolded it my voyeuristic feelings and the ability to share her excitement when she has had a strange dick inside of her. After all, the deeds been done so why not get a little enjoyment out of it.

 

[racquel]

why?

I would say # 1 and # 4 are the reasons I hope to intice my wife into the lifestyle.Thus far with no success

 

[substobbws]

I'm #5 (out of a possible ???). I have high self esteem in the outside world which mirrors my private, sexually submissive to women (narrowed down to larger women even, in my case) life.

Why do people need an explanation for the preferences of others? Who the hell chose their preferences?

I keep seeing "low self esteem" being thrown around on this board. Don't you think being submissive requires more strength? In my personal life, I enjoy participating in some things that involve a high amount of risk. There's no such thing as a risk free life and I get a rush out of making myself face fears. Are these traits you'd attribute to someone of low self esteem? I think I'm a helluva lot more secure than most people.

Take cuckolding. I take something that once would have been my worst nightmare and get off on it! If a woman wants to include physical discomfort on my part in the process, even MORE of a turn on! Do you think those are signs of a weak personality? Ha!

 

[Custer Laststand]

Are many cuckolds men with strong self esteem? (Cont'd)

Substobbws,

Regarding your comments (above):

I keep seeing "low self esteem" being thrown around on this board. Don't you think being submissive requires more strength? In my personal life, I enjoy participating in some things that involve a high amount of risk. There's no such thing as a risk free life and I get a rush out of making myself face fears. Are these traits you'd attribute to someone of low self esteem? I think I'm a helluva lot more secure than most people. ... etc.

I posted some comments similar to yours in a thread started by "DWM_in_413" on 17 May '08, under the subhead: "Are many cuckolds men with strong self-esteem?" It was:

These are all very interesting, good and articulate replies. I would suggest, in contrast to Son of John's well-stated hypothesis, that many cuckolds have solid (not low) self esteem and that is among the reasons they accept — indeed, encourage — their wives taking other men as lovers. It may also be among the reasons, I suggest, that they accept — indeed, revel in — a certain amount of humiliation as cuckold husbands, ranging from mild to extreme depending on the combined nature of the humiliated cuckold and his adulteress wife.

In many cases, I strongly suspect, a man with low self esteem is more likely to insist he have exclusive sexual rights to his wife, thereby (in effect) insisting she is not a person in her own right but is rather an extension of himself — he views his wife as "his property," as it were. A man of this nature, I would say, is more likely to demand a divorce or do something violent if he suspects or knows his wife has taken a lover. "Something violent" may range from treating his wife abusively to murdering her or her lover (or both). It isn't unusual to see examples of this in the news. It is almost certainly among the reasons many wives are very reluctant to respond favorably to their husbands urging them to take lovers.

"Cuckolding as a form of nascent Gothic fiction" (per DickMann) is pretty good... I like that. I think, though, that when a married woman's lover comes to her home and fucks her in front of her cuckold husband, or while he listens, that's about as real as it gets. It results in "intense, strong emotions" among all concerned (as noted by Ropulos) — and in mundane everyday life, strong emotions can be hard to come by. From this point of view, cuckolding may be a way, at least in part, of alleviating the tedium of daily life.

This is a way, I guess, of saying I tend to agree with you.

I note also, as you did, that this view does not appear on Son of John's list of motivations at the beginning of this thread. This is not to say, however, I don't think his reasons are "right." Perhaps one or more of them are the underlying motivation in many cases. The thread that starts here:

http://www.cuckolds.com/forums/general-cuckoldry/9674-would-love-know-why.html

includes a number of interesting discussions of this question (as does this thread) which, on the whole, suggest the question is significantly more complex than either of our posts (above).

—Custer

 

[Glenn]

Lack of self-esteem? I guess you can pretty much blame any 'problem' on low self-esteem, but personally I don't consider cuckolding to be a problem, and I would rather not use such labels or terms. For me and my wife, I think that cuckolding has increased our self-esteem.

Now, as for small dicks and ability to provide a certain type of stimulation, etc, well for me, that's ONE reason. I simply don't have the ability to last long enough to please my wife in a way that, but as it turns out, another man (a specific man in this case) can.

Also, I often notice how people (mostly men of course) emphisize only the physical aspects of sex. Yes, of course sex has physical components, and as I mentioned, other men are MORE capable than me physically, BUT true cuckolding also has MANY emotional aspects, for both the wife AND the husband. Now, of course in the early years, the emotional aspects don't really amount to much more than lust, but lust can be a VERY powerful emotion.

Now there are different types of cuckolding of course. For me and my wife, it's what many would consider "non traditional". It was me who intoduced her to the idea (even before I had heard the word), and she never "cheated" on me, AND I don't wear panties so I'm not a 'sissy'. We 'fantasized' about it for a long time before getting up the nerve to try it. Even after trying it, it took a number of years to develop (evolve) our emotions to allow it to work for us, and to find the right MAN (VERY IMPORTANT). During those years, we often explored the reason for the attraction and desire, but in the end, like many emotional things, it's really not easy to understand (look at what Psychologists went throught by trying to define LOVE, and then finally just gave up because it was too complex).

In any case, what we found through self-discovery was that cuckolding is a fetish and we simply do it for FUN and leave it at that.

 

[Son of John]

Other men fucking wives.

Glenn has given a simple, but insightful answer to the question of why we let other men fuck our wives. He says he enjoys it.

I have no quarrel with that answer. For those who don't want to have to think about it, but get on with the wife-fucking, I say "Go for it!"

I still believe that most wife-sharing husbands were, at one time, "******" into sharing their wives' pussies. That was certainly the case for me. I did not decide one day to go out and find other men to fuck my wife. It was brought home to me in a most forceful way when my then-wife hit me with the fact that she had been fucking with several other guys behind my back and even taunted me with the phrase "And there's not a damned thing you can do about it!"

Any husband who has ever been in that situation knows there are a limited number of options. One is to try to "defeat" the situation, which is usually futile at best and dangerous at least. The other is to take the attitude "If you can't lick 'em, join 'em!" and that is what I believe most cuckolded husbands have done, whether they are aware of it or not.

That was certainly the case for me, and in a very short time, I was actually enjoying the fact that other men were fucking my wife, and had become what she would later call her "enabler" because I made it easier for her to meet with other men. The ultimate experience in that relationship was when I brought my best friend to the house and told him that I wanted to watch him fuck my wife, which he was only too glad to do.

I knew from that first experience that it was something I wanted to see, over and over and over! I knew then that the ultimate sexual experience for me would be to watch other men fuck my own wife.

But, that was to be the only time I watched another guy fuck her. We divorced soon afterward and I had to start all over. And, through two more marriages and a few more relationships between marriages, I have been able to share "my" pussy with other men in just about every way imagineable.

There is no cure for husbands like us! We will be like this as long as we live. So we might as well enjoy it, and say those most erotic of all words to another man "I want to watch you fuck my wife!"

 

[Glenn]

Yes, as SoJ says, basically my reason is that I enjoy it, and so does my wife. We met at a rather early age, so neither of us had been intimate with another partner. We have both always been very sexual, so it didn't take much to accept a little bit of variation. In fact, I remember talking about 'other men' before we got married (LOOOONG ago), and I remember how it amused her. Now, as I said, I believe that I am a non-traditional cuck, and based on what SoJ has said, he seems to be a traditional type (with cheating wife), so obviously there are different reasons for for being in this lifestyle, after all we are all different people, with different personalities, etc. So, the answer to the question 'why men share share their wives' will be just as varied of course. Isn't variety wonderful?

However, I think the original poster may have been looking for deeper reasons than just 'because I enjoy it'. Believe me, we have tried to analyse those deeper reasons over the years, and we simply discovered that it really doesn't matter. All that matters is that it works for us, providing us with a level of 'pleasure' that we can't achieve by ourselves. This may sound 'not nice' but we have come to realize that we NEED this third partner. Again, exactly why that is, really doesn't matter. It just works really well for everyone involved. We are all individuals, who happen to have some common desires, but we are all different as well, so we've come to the realization that it really doesn't matter WHY we do these things. We are not harming anyone, or doing anything illegal, and obviously we are okay with it on a moral/spiritual level. We are also very respectful of others, and their differences. Isn't that all that matters?

 

[Son of John]

Answer to Glenn

I may have started out as a traditional Cuckold Husband, because my wife was fucking with other men behind my back, but at this time, I am the complete opposite. I approve of other men fucking her, and even do what I can to see that it happens.

I can honestly say that this is the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me. I would not go back to being the kind of jealous and insecure husband that I was a few years back. I love being married to a woman who fucks with other men and will do whatever I can to see that her adventures continue.

And the best part, of course, is when I'm right there to watch them fuck her! Nothing could be more exciting!

 

[o1sunbeach]

Thanks Son of John and Glenn. Very interesting topic.

 

[MastersBitch96]

I have some thoughts on WHY men are willing to share their wives' pussies with other men. I want to know if the readers agree, or not.

1. Lack of self-esteem! These men may feel "bad" about themselves for any number of reasons. They may have small dicks, or not be able to give their wives sexual satisfaction. They may have "failed" in other ventures in life, such as careers, or financially, and transfered this to failure as fuckers too.

2. They may feel guilty about something, and use this method of "making it up" to their wives by giving her the added pleasure of getting fucked by other men than their husbands. This guilt is usually because the husband has fucked other women and feels he owes it to his wife to give her the same chance for extra-marital fucks.

3. The husband is wanting to punish his wife for something. It may be that she has fucked with other men behind his back, and when he found out he decided to punish her by pressuring her into giving fucks to other guys that she might not give fucks to if she was doing the choosing. Also, if the husband is there to watch the other men "use" his wife's naked body, then he feels a certain amount of control in the situation. After that he doesn't have to only remember that other men fucked his wife, but that HE let other men fuck her. That makes a big difference for the male ego!

4. He may be bisexual to some degree. A wife-sharing husband may have a subliminal desire to have sexual contact with other men, but can't admit it to anyone, including himself. When he gives his wife's body as a surrogate, then he gets the thrill much like if it was his body the other man was fucking. In most wife-sharing situations in which both men are present, there is nearly always a bit of contact between the two men. The husband may even suck the other man's cock because his wife wants him to.

So, what do you think? Do you agree of disagree? Tell me.

Ok, well... here's a totally different perspective ... from a cucked female slave. I will address each theory point by point...

1)Well, I suppose on some levels (certainly if you were to ask my mother lol) that I have failures in life. However, I do not view them that way, and I do not have any feelings of sexual failure... I know I'm a damn good sex partner, however, I understand that my Master has a desire for new partners as well as a desire for different looking women. For many couples, role play and dress up would be sufficiant, but I prefer knowing that he is truly satisfied not just accepting gratefully what I can do to fullfill the desire by myself. Maybe it's a submissive thing lol.

2)I am somewhat prone to guilt, though I do not actually have anything major to feel guilt for. Small passing feelings of guilt if I feel I have misbehaved or handled a situation poorly are common for me, but I am always urged NOT to feel this unless I'm told I should. I have been known to make extra efforts to find a new girl for him when I feel badly as a physical, visual apology.

3)This definately does not apply to me. I do not have any reason to want to get back at him for any reason, and honestly it would not make any sense for me to do this, given our dynamic. Also, I don't have control over who he chooses to fuck.

4)I am very bisexual and very aware of it. Definately, there's a degree of this, but as I'm not allowed to play with other women at this time and am not allowed to join in, it's really not a motivation for me.

So...those are my thoughts, in response to the ideas you proponed. If you want to know more about what my motivations actually are, feel free to ask.

 

[Glenn]

I may have started out as a traditional Cuckold Husband, because my wife was fucking with other men behind my back, but at this time, I am the complete opposite. I approve of other men fucking her, and even do what I can to see that it happens.

I can honestly say that this is the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me. I would not go back to being the kind of jealous and insecure husband that I was a few years back. I love being married to a woman who fucks with other men and will do whatever I can to see that her adventures continue.

And the best part, of course, is when I'm right there to watch them fuck her! Nothing could be more exciting!

I do find it interesting how some men can accept a TRUE cheating wife. I really don't think that I could. For me, this lifestyle is about the fantasy and role play, so when my wife 'cheats' (plays without me), it's obviously not TRUE cheating.

Now, we've been in this lifestyle for many years, so we've ridden some of the emotional roller-coaster rides, but for whatever reason the desire to continue has won out. We are currently in a very exclusive relationship with man who has no interest in 'stealing' her. We are VERY fortunate to have found such a compatible 'friend', who shares many of the same desires and interests, and has an excellent understanding of human nature, especially ours (and specifically mine). In a way, perhaps HE is reason for OUR success, for which both my wife and I very grateful. But, sometimes I can't help but wonder where the 'game' begins and ends for him, and I'm sure he likes to keep us guessing. There have been many times when I've told both him and my wife how lucky I am, and how I believe that I get the most out of this relationship (I really do feel that way). But occasionally, I wonder if that is all part of his strategic plan, after all, he often has sex with my wife 2 or 3 times as often as I do (not that I keep count, but I don't think that I'm far off). Now, that said, that frequency just happens to be a natural frequency for all three of us. Their desire for the actually physical coupling is much stronger than mine. My desire is MUCH more emotional than physical, although I do often masturbate alone (or while watching them)

So, as you can probably guess, if I were to ask my wife to stop seeing him, I find it difficult to think that she would or could stop (although this is not something that I can imagine myself ever asking her). BUT, if she did continue, THAT would be TRUE cheating, or would it be? And how would I react? I guess it would depend on WHY I asked her to stop (something which I cannot even imagine at this point). BUT, if it did happen (at this point in our lives), one distinct possibility is that I would simply have to accept it, and view it as an evolution. Perhaps that's the way it is for all men who decide to accept a cheating wife. In which case, perhaps the fact that we get pigeon-holed into a certain 'cuckold type' (type 2 - non-traditional in my case) is purely by chance, and perhaps we can all evolve or change 'type' (based on some major life event).

 

[Josetta]

Some men love their wife so much that it seems such a natural thing to ensure she gets to have regular top-ups from other men.

A wife has a higher sex drive in her 30's, and she appreciates the extra attention of several men in her life, fussing over her and squirting sperm between her thighs.

A happy wife will deepen her love for her husband, because afterall, he made it all possible by wanting to let her to have more fun.

Some wives like a regular husband, and also another guy who's fetish is face-sitting.
And sometimes there is the urgent, primal craving to be bred by a third guy who resembles the "perfect man".

 

[Glenn]

Some men love their wife so much that it seems such a natural thing to ensure she gets to have regular top-ups from other men.

A wife has a higher sex drive in her 30's, and she appreciates the extra attention of several men in her life, fussing over her and squirting sperm between her thighs.

A happy wife will deepen her love for her husband, because after all, he made it all possible by wanting to let her to have more fun.

Some wives like a regular husband, and also another guy who's fetish is face-sitting.
And sometimes there is the urgent, primal craving to be bred by a third guy who resembles the "perfect man".

Speaking as a non-traditional cuck, my wife (in her early 40's now) is in heaven with our current arrangement. Although we have just the one 'friend' (bull), he is absolutely PERFECT for us. It's an exclusive relationship (for safety) and we/they meet at least once a week (it varies at different times of the year).

When we first met our friend, she was in her 30's, an age when women's sexual desire commonly peaks. As for my sexual desire, well, as a typical man, I guess it had 'changed'. In a way, my desire for physical love making acts didn't decrease, but it just seems that I became 'lazy'. I guess my laziness, combined with my 'different' desire to satisfy my wife's sexual appetite, was the driving force behind what we have today.

The love that I have for my wife, and the love that she has for me, is tremendously solid. We totally understand each other needs and wants, and this is what makes our relationship so strong. Although this cuckolding thing is simply a fetish/fantasy/role-playing activity (ie, FUN), it has also become a very integral part of our everyday lives.

As for our 'friend', he is our age, so we have a lot in common besides 'the lifestyle'. However, unlike me, he is far from lazy, and his sexual desire (both emotional and physical) is probably even larger than my wife's (which is difficult to believe sometimes). Without our friend, it's difficult to say where we would be today.

 

[hootie who]

Great take on it all Glen, very good.

Speaking as a non-traditional cuck, my wife (in her early 40's now) is in heaven with our current arrangement. Although we have just the one 'friend' (bull), he is absolutely PERFECT for us. It's an exclusive relationship (for safety) and we/they meet at least once a week (it varies at different times of the year).

When we first met our friend, she was in her 30's, an age when women's sexual desire commonly peaks. As for my sexual desire, well, as a typical man, I guess it had 'changed'. In a way, my desire for physical love making acts didn't decrease, but it just seems that I became 'lazy'. I guess my laziness, combined with my 'different' desire to satisfy my wife's sexual appetite, was the driving force behind what we have today.

The love that I have for my wife, and the love that she has for me, is tremendously solid. We totally understand each other needs and wants, and this is what makes our relationship so strong. Although this cuckolding thing is simply a fetish/fantasy/role-playing activity (ie, FUN), it has also become a very integral part of our everyday lives.

As for our 'friend', he is our age, so we have a lot in common besides 'the lifestyle'. However, unlike me, he is far from lazy, and his sexual desire (both emotional and physical) is probably even larger than my wife's (which is difficult to believe sometimes). Without our friend, it's difficult to say where we would be today.