2wheel, I feel for you man. One of the things that I enjoyed most with my first wife was her ability to tell me about her "adventures" with other men after we were into the life style. When she was working at the retirement complex and being "entertained" by some of the men there, I only ever met 1 of them and I never got to see her with any of them, so if she wouldn't have told me about them I would have been terribly disappointed as you must be.
As to the subject this thread is about the why do we like to see our wives fuck other guys, I haven't really tried to analyze it too much, I know that I became real comfortable with "open" sex when my roommate and I started sharing our dates during the 3 years that we were sharing an apartment and then when we started including 2 other guys (1 is black and well hung), it became a sexual norm for us for a young and very willing woman to be well fucked by the 2,3 or 4 of us, it was sort of like our own private sex show. As it turned out my wife to be knew about what my roommate and I were doing and after she and I were married she brought it up one night in bed during foreplay when she asked me "Don't you want to watch me get fucked like you guys did when you had your apartment?" and her next question before I could come up with an answer was "And why haven't you ever introduced me to Darnell (the well-hung black guy)? At that point she wrapped one hand around my cock and sucked me as I lost it completely.
My feeble answer was that I didn't think that she would be interested , but I am was her response and that was the very beginning of our journey of me getting to watch her fuck other men. GTR