Where does this come from (for me)?

[MorganTheCapn]

I have recently begun to "embrace" the cuckold lifestyle, specifically with an ex girlfriend of mine. Our relationship is the longest I have ever been in a relationship, 2 years, which is probably why I am still so attached to her. We have our moments of fighting and distance, especially due to all of the infidelity that occurred when we were together. She cheated on me, I cheated on her, there's definitely an issue with trust. But, we still talk on a weekly basis and things have been great recently.

She is the one girl I have let into my world of swinging. Back when I was 18 I first met up with a married couple. I had sex with the wife while the husband watched or joined in. That side of me lay dormant until I met Katie. We started out by meeting other couples, and we would only have same room sex with barely any intermixing. She would do things with the other woman, but did not want to have sex with the other guy. She has stated many times that it's all about pleasing me; I got her into the lifestyle and if I weren't into it she wouldn't be either.

I remember the idea of Katie with another guy first came into my head last April when I learned she had been having sex with another guy. At the time I was disgusted, angry, sad, scared... all the typical feelings I should feel. Things were rocky in our relationship at the time, I was hanging out with another girl, so I had no reason to be sad, but I was - fuck, I was losing my girlfriend of 1.5 years, who wouldn’t be upset?!

Recently she has left the states to go live in a foreign country for 9 months. And somewhere in that time since August, my tastes have changed in the swinging lifestyle. It started out with her and I talking online about what we're going to do next time we get together – mainly she will dominate me. Step on my chest with heels, slap me around, sit on my face… all of it became very exciting to me just recently.

I have very little desire to dominate her now, which is something we did back when we were together. I never took a submissive role, now all of a sudden that’s all I want.

Along with this is my desire to see her with another man. Many times we have chatted online about another “guy” she has met overseas. She has shared many explicit descriptions of him, which are completely fabricated by my and her imagination. This guy is stronger than me, bigger muscles, bigger dick, can fuck and cum better than I can… and all the while she is describing him and what he “did” to her. We go on about how I could never do what he does, I could never cum this many times and why the hell did Katie even waste her time with me? All of it created by the two of us, all of it turning me on.

Recently this has even taken ANOTHER turn. I got so excited a few days ago when I was talking to her that I had to ask (we’re very open with these feelings… she tells me to share everything im feeling). I asked her to share every intimate detail of what it was like with the guy she ACTUALLY cheated on me with last April. Stories, texts, facebook pictures from that night… I want to see it all. The dirty details of what my Katie was doing behind my back. She was getting pleasured and I was working, with no clue of the ecstasy she was in at that exact moment. She hasn’t yet, but I can’t wait – I think it’s going to be so hot in a few days when it happens.

When she comes back over holiday we are even setting up a real life encounter with another guy. Ideally I would like them to have sex, but she’s not too sure. I realize I need to respect what she wants. So even when there is TALK of fucking another guy, she might not really go through with the ACTION. I personally think it would be hot but it’s not all about me!

This is why I believe I am a cuck, and where my question (finally) comes in. Why the sudden change from dom to sub? We’re not boyfriend/girlfriend anymore, but we clearly still have a sexual flame. Is it just because I’m bored with our current sex life that I want to see her with another guy? I can admit partially to wanting to spice things up to avoid a rut. Or is it more - am I really a cuck with her? Why all of a sudden do I want to know what REALLY happened with this guy she fucked behind my back? I mean, I hate the guy in real life... Why do I want to be demeaned while she describes his dick?

And… not sure if this is possible… is there anything I can SAY to her that might make her want to have sex with this other guy we end up meeting? Anything her and I can talk about? Is that even a good idea?

Thanks for your answers – this board and the contributors are INVALUABLE to the support of cucked husbands and boyfriends everywhere!

 

[AngleBaby]

It is not a good idea if you want a long term relationship with her where you both are in love with each other. There have been plenty of rough spots for you and it sounds as if this is all about you and your pleasure, not hers. If your first thought was how it would be all about her pleasure to fuck another guy, then that is all about you and what you want. She may want you to take her out to dinner and a movie more often or want flowers just because. Her pleasure could be about being with you and enjoying a movie and not being with another guy. Respect that.

 

[Saraha]

It is important to be absolutely clear what EACH of you want, and there is no guarantees that your needs will match in the long run.

 

[MorganTheCapn]

AngleBaby - I understand what you are saying - however, the entire time I have known her she has been a very providing kind of girl. She likes to be pleasured too, but she takes pleasure in the fact that I AM getting turned on. I have asked her many many times what she wants to please her, and many times she says she likes getting me off - making ME cum makes HER cum. Get it? I can't explain it, but it's how she is. If I wanted to play a board game and make a pizza with her, she would love that too. She just likes spending time with me. And I like spending time with her.

Saraha - both of us are clear what we want, I tried to make that clear in my previous post, didn't I? I mean... thats why this whole cuckold thing came up. I was nervous to bring it up at first because of how I thought she would react, but after I told her she was on board. She even made me promise from now on not to hide any of my feelings. Hence... where we are right now. Right? Right.


So none of these posts answer my questions yet... why all of a sudden to I want to be submissive to her? Why do I want to know all the details of what she did with that guy back in april? Why do I get turned on thinking about her with other guys now?

 

[greymaster]

People discover things about themselves as time goes on. You're still only young. More knowledge, more experience, more reading (in places like this) can show you elements of something that you might have discarded from it's title (i.e. Submissive) but realize can have positives that you didn't expect (increased arousal for her without extra effort from you / being 'told' what to do and obeying rather than having to 'think' how to please her and possibly getting it wrong).

My involvement with couples has (apparently) greatly increased sexual arousal in households, simply with the idea of what I may have done with the wife while the husband is at work - with a real 'other person' then the jealousy feelings need to be dealt with as well, but the arousal can still seep through.

Also - re-reading your original post - there HAS been a change. You're NOT boyfriend/girlfriend any more - so you can fantasize a lot more freely about what the body you know so well is doing elsewhere and get excited by it.

Hope this makes some sort of sense.....

 

[fourandahalf]

I strongly recommend that you get a copy of Female Domination by Elisse Sutton. It will explain many of the thing you are asking and a whole lot more that you don't yet know you need answering. And no, it's not unusual for your partner to be devoted to what pleases you, even if that means being with another man. As to why it's happened so quickly, that's how it goes sometimes. The first time I persuaded my wife to go to a nudist beach, she was 28 and I was 35 but we didn't know anything. We were the normal conservative couple - hadn't done or experienced anything - but we had a streak of curiousity. We were tucked into a secluded spot in the dunes when a big old guy appeared, he must have been 65 and built like a tank. Within 20 minutes my wife was sucking him and fucking him and I was kneeling at the side, completely stunned. Twenty minutes was all it took to change our lives around although it took years to understand it and fully accept it. Hope this helps. And like I said, get the book.

 

[MorganTheCapn]

So it sounds like a lot of these changes in sexual appetite are normal. That makes me feel a little better!

One question though - in everyone's opinion, do you think I am a real life cuck? I know, there are so many threads dedicated to JUST that question. But I really want to know. It makes sense - I am naturally non confrontational and I would sometimes rather watch than join in (sometimes...)

Lately the choice to act on these fantasies has just felt right. Especially with Katie because I am so comfortable with her I feel I can trust her in this situation; she won't shun me for expressing my feelings.

I guess I'm just concerned that like a month down the line, after her and I have a real life encounter, I will just lose interest in the lifestyle. Sure, I'm sure people do that, but so SOON? I just started...

 

[Saraha]

When you both have clarity of what you want, all your focus goes on just that like a laser. Humans have 55,000 thoughts per day, and each thought tries to manifest.

A small light in the refrigerator door gives heat and light off in all directions, but if you put the bulb in a tube, the heat and light are ****** in one direction only, and the concentrated focus can burn a hole in the steel door.

When you hold a single thought of what you want, you seperate it off from the other 54,999 thoughts that are getting in the way of each other.

One thought grows like a snowball, gathering strength the longer you hold onto it. If your thought is to be submissive to your girlfriend, and also to make sure all her needs are met, then you are no longer distracted. You know exactly what you want, and it manifests quickly hypnotically, with both minds working together.

Your girlfriend and you are wanting to please each other - this is perfect, so cast aside doubts. Doubts switch off the energy of the thought you are holding.

Give your girlfriend permission to have whatever she desires, and be there for her no matter what happens. She will appreciate your eagerness to please her, and she will give back to you what you need, using the Law of Karma and the Law of Attraction.

United you stand together, divided you both fall over.

When you know what you want, life becomes easy and you flow along together in Bliss.

 

[Jorge88]

Are you a Cuck

Dear Morgan:

We are writing because you feel confused and are not sure about this sudden desire to be a Cuck.
It is really very simple:

Cuckolding is a perfectly normal human behavior. So what you are feeling is perfectly normal.
We have explained this behavior in detail in other posts but for now let us just say a few things in relation to your confusion.
1) The reason that you are attracted to Cuckolding is that you feel suficiently connected to this particular girlfriend to feel what she is feeling.
In other words human beings are sensitive enough to be excited by the excitement (Or sadness) of another person that they are close with.
2) There is nothing in the world more sexually exciting than watching your wife (or gf) becoming extremely aroused by a very naughty situation, like a strange man or a man she particularily likes.
3) Watching a dominant male have his way with her is especially exciting because it is hardwired in our brains.
The female will be especially excited by a dominant male (Has the best genes)
In that case her Cuck instantly becomes submisive as a survival mechanism.
(Nature and evolution made it that way)
Nature also (Through evolution) made him become extremely aroused, so that his semen can also try to gain a foothold in that ravaged vagina.
(After the dominant male has been satiated of course, and when her vagina is full of semen and red and swollen)
No problem with that.

Four and a Halfs descripton of the episode at the beach illustrates this perfectly.

So the best thing to do is enjoy these perfectly normal feelings.
In other words let your girlfriend enjoy being dominated and just used.
(Fouranda half can probably testify to how his wifes vagina was extremely wet that day. Wet, and hot and with her clitoris extremely erect.

And you can savor this succulent dish after it has been adequately prepared for you.
What can be better or more perfect in life.

What do you think Fourandahalf?

Best regards:
Alicia and Jorge

 

[AngleBaby]

Morgan: Sorry it did not answer any questions, and yes, I understand what you are saying. But it would not hurt to treat her the way she wants to be treated first and she will treat you the way you want to be treated back.
Her getting off on getting you off is not a reliable bet in the long run.

 

[MorganTheCapn]

Jorge- I do remember reading something in a post that I think you wrote which explains exactly the same thing. That's why I posted in my first post that I had already read a good explanation of the psychology behind being a cuck. It was a great explanation and thanks for reiterating it.

Anglebaby- yeah, I'm not sure how permanent that approach would be as well. I'm always out to make her happy though, it's not always about me. She's just out of the country right now and we have a bull planned to meet us on January 1st, so that is what were talking about right now more than anything. I will of course update you ALL after it happens!