I have recently begun to "embrace" the cuckold lifestyle, specifically with an ex girlfriend of mine. Our relationship is the longest I have ever been in a relationship, 2 years, which is probably why I am still so attached to her. We have our moments of fighting and distance, especially due to all of the infidelity that occurred when we were together. She cheated on me, I cheated on her, there's definitely an issue with trust. But, we still talk on a weekly basis and things have been great recently.
She is the one girl I have let into my world of swinging. Back when I was 18 I first met up with a married couple. I had sex with the wife while the husband watched or joined in. That side of me lay dormant until I met Katie. We started out by meeting other couples, and we would only have same room sex with barely any intermixing. She would do things with the other woman, but did not want to have sex with the other guy. She has stated many times that it's all about pleasing me; I got her into the lifestyle and if I weren't into it she wouldn't be either.
I remember the idea of Katie with another guy first came into my head last April when I learned she had been having sex with another guy. At the time I was disgusted, angry, sad, scared... all the typical feelings I should feel. Things were rocky in our relationship at the time, I was hanging out with another girl, so I had no reason to be sad, but I was - fuck, I was losing my girlfriend of 1.5 years, who wouldn’t be upset?!
Recently she has left the states to go live in a foreign country for 9 months. And somewhere in that time since August, my tastes have changed in the swinging lifestyle. It started out with her and I talking online about what we're going to do next time we get together – mainly she will dominate me. Step on my chest with heels, slap me around, sit on my face… all of it became very exciting to me just recently.
I have very little desire to dominate her now, which is something we did back when we were together. I never took a submissive role, now all of a sudden that’s all I want.
Along with this is my desire to see her with another man. Many times we have chatted online about another “guy” she has met overseas. She has shared many explicit descriptions of him, which are completely fabricated by my and her imagination. This guy is stronger than me, bigger muscles, bigger dick, can fuck and cum better than I can… and all the while she is describing him and what he “did” to her. We go on about how I could never do what he does, I could never cum this many times and why the hell did Katie even waste her time with me? All of it created by the two of us, all of it turning me on.
Recently this has even taken ANOTHER turn. I got so excited a few days ago when I was talking to her that I had to ask (we’re very open with these feelings… she tells me to share everything im feeling). I asked her to share every intimate detail of what it was like with the guy she ACTUALLY cheated on me with last April. Stories, texts, facebook pictures from that night… I want to see it all. The dirty details of what my Katie was doing behind my back. She was getting pleasured and I was working, with no clue of the ecstasy she was in at that exact moment. She hasn’t yet, but I can’t wait – I think it’s going to be so hot in a few days when it happens.
When she comes back over holiday we are even setting up a real life encounter with another guy. Ideally I would like them to have sex, but she’s not too sure. I realize I need to respect what she wants. So even when there is TALK of fucking another guy, she might not really go through with the ACTION. I personally think it would be hot but it’s not all about me!
This is why I believe I am a cuck, and where my question (finally) comes in. Why the sudden change from dom to sub? We’re not boyfriend/girlfriend anymore, but we clearly still have a sexual flame. Is it just because I’m bored with our current sex life that I want to see her with another guy? I can admit partially to wanting to spice things up to avoid a rut. Or is it more - am I really a cuck with her? Why all of a sudden do I want to know what REALLY happened with this guy she fucked behind my back? I mean, I hate the guy in real life... Why do I want to be demeaned while she describes his dick?
And… not sure if this is possible… is there anything I can SAY to her that might make her want to have sex with this other guy we end up meeting? Anything her and I can talk about? Is that even a good idea?
Thanks for your answers – this board and the contributors are INVALUABLE to the support of cucked husbands and boyfriends everywhere!
She is the one girl I have let into my world of swinging. Back when I was 18 I first met up with a married couple. I had sex with the wife while the husband watched or joined in. That side of me lay dormant until I met Katie. We started out by meeting other couples, and we would only have same room sex with barely any intermixing. She would do things with the other woman, but did not want to have sex with the other guy. She has stated many times that it's all about pleasing me; I got her into the lifestyle and if I weren't into it she wouldn't be either.
I remember the idea of Katie with another guy first came into my head last April when I learned she had been having sex with another guy. At the time I was disgusted, angry, sad, scared... all the typical feelings I should feel. Things were rocky in our relationship at the time, I was hanging out with another girl, so I had no reason to be sad, but I was - fuck, I was losing my girlfriend of 1.5 years, who wouldn’t be upset?!
Recently she has left the states to go live in a foreign country for 9 months. And somewhere in that time since August, my tastes have changed in the swinging lifestyle. It started out with her and I talking online about what we're going to do next time we get together – mainly she will dominate me. Step on my chest with heels, slap me around, sit on my face… all of it became very exciting to me just recently.
I have very little desire to dominate her now, which is something we did back when we were together. I never took a submissive role, now all of a sudden that’s all I want.
Along with this is my desire to see her with another man. Many times we have chatted online about another “guy” she has met overseas. She has shared many explicit descriptions of him, which are completely fabricated by my and her imagination. This guy is stronger than me, bigger muscles, bigger dick, can fuck and cum better than I can… and all the while she is describing him and what he “did” to her. We go on about how I could never do what he does, I could never cum this many times and why the hell did Katie even waste her time with me? All of it created by the two of us, all of it turning me on.
Recently this has even taken ANOTHER turn. I got so excited a few days ago when I was talking to her that I had to ask (we’re very open with these feelings… she tells me to share everything im feeling). I asked her to share every intimate detail of what it was like with the guy she ACTUALLY cheated on me with last April. Stories, texts, facebook pictures from that night… I want to see it all. The dirty details of what my Katie was doing behind my back. She was getting pleasured and I was working, with no clue of the ecstasy she was in at that exact moment. She hasn’t yet, but I can’t wait – I think it’s going to be so hot in a few days when it happens.
When she comes back over holiday we are even setting up a real life encounter with another guy. Ideally I would like them to have sex, but she’s not too sure. I realize I need to respect what she wants. So even when there is TALK of fucking another guy, she might not really go through with the ACTION. I personally think it would be hot but it’s not all about me!
This is why I believe I am a cuck, and where my question (finally) comes in. Why the sudden change from dom to sub? We’re not boyfriend/girlfriend anymore, but we clearly still have a sexual flame. Is it just because I’m bored with our current sex life that I want to see her with another guy? I can admit partially to wanting to spice things up to avoid a rut. Or is it more - am I really a cuck with her? Why all of a sudden do I want to know what REALLY happened with this guy she fucked behind my back? I mean, I hate the guy in real life... Why do I want to be demeaned while she describes his dick?
And… not sure if this is possible… is there anything I can SAY to her that might make her want to have sex with this other guy we end up meeting? Anything her and I can talk about? Is that even a good idea?
Thanks for your answers – this board and the contributors are INVALUABLE to the support of cucked husbands and boyfriends everywhere!