What can we expect?

[JmanD]

Hey everybody,

New poster here. My girlfriend and I have enjoyed this website quite a bit and it has sparked a lot of interest for us. We have seen some really great comments in the advice forum which seem a lot realer than the usual stuff we read on here. We are very close to having a real experience ourselves. We have already talked to a pretty cool guy who is definitely well hung and are probably going to try and meet him in the near future. We also may go to a sort of house party/ swing club that has a lot of black single males.

I was wondering if anyone here could give us an idea of what to expect? I would like to hear from the black males (particularly wifeshafter11x9 who has a lot of good insights) Also I would like to hear from the couples- women, what was your experience like, and men how did the whole thing make you feel, was it as good as the fantasy? Well I hope to hear from you soon and if we can get a conversation started I would be happy to share what sort of fun we get into while exploring this lifestyle.

Thanks,
J

 

[newcouple]

This is my view as a husband. We got into this recently and right now are taking a break, we did it differently than u, had a friend who was very experienced with couples and my wife and him clicked on a physical and personality level and we went through with it. That has its pluses and minuses but to talk about the main stuff you are mentioning i'd focus on the guy you select.

Is he experienced with couples? The reason i ask is cause the guy we selected was very experienced and probably the biggest surprise and toughest thing mentally for me was seeing what he could do. THere's probably a reason that certain guys have a lot of experience with couples and it's cause they can go pretty hard.

I was prepared to see a well endowed guy be with my wife and expected him to have a bit more stamina than me. In reality, even when a guy is an inch bigger than u, it's a lot, so a couple inches bigger, and a bit thicker, it's a lot to see when your wife takes it (if she can) and the more significant thing was the stamina. It's not like the guy outlasted me by stop and starting stuff, he was going very hard with my wife and for a lot longer than I could have imagined. So getting one up'd in that big a manner was a double edged sword, if it's a porno it's all good and since it's a real life porno in front of u it is intense but the fact that its your wife doing this, it's very conflcited. for me it was more than i think i could handle/expected.

The other issue was seeing my wife's reaction. I wanted her to enjoy it, i wanted us to both enjoy it but the reality is when they were having sex, it's beyond enjoyment, it's a much more base emotion i guess, as in she is "enjoying" it cause he's the "better man" in that area, sort of like mother nature. Also, i'm not sure what your situation is but the fact that this guy had more stamina and control, i was seeing my wife cut loose really for the first time, she was able to go harder with him and just be more aggressive herself because he wasn't going to have any issues with losing it like i would. so i was seeing in front of me, not only did he have more staying power but that my wife also had some stamina herself and a willingness/enjoyment for longer periods of sex.

so for me, sure it was all intense, my mind was on fire with all the stuff going on, hot as hell yes, hating it yes, not being able to turn away yes. so as u can see, its a boatload of emotions and it depends on the individual guy on how he weighs each one. for me i was jealous as hell but also envious and curious if thats the word in that i just couldnt stop seeing them together. since we've taken a break i cant get them out of my mind and it's affected my own performance since then too.

i love my wife but now knowing what she did with him those times and how much she obviously enjoyd it, its put a lot of pressur eon me to perform and it's basically backfired on me. so now i'm at the point where i'm considering letting her be with him again.

age might be an issue for u and your gf. my wife and i are relatively young i think compared to most couples in here and the partner we have is a bit older than us but young himself (mid 30s).

 

[JmanD]

Thanks for the response newcouple. To let you know a little bit more about us, I am 28 and she is 27. What was your opinion on the age difference? The guy we have been talking to is fairly experienced with couples, we have met him from a local swingers site.

Your insights are very thought provoking. When you say stamina, I am assuming you are talking about how long he lasts before orgasming. In that department it would be different as I have always been very good about that. What we have been more interested in is the cock size difference, as well as the sexy skin color contrast. Did his size play a big role in the experience. Also, I wasn't sure from what you said, but did you want to watch them over and over again?

As far as the emotions, we have done so swinging type stuff before, so I have a pretty good handle on jealous feelings, but this sounds like it might be a little more intense. Thanks for responding again, and we would love to hear more about your experience so we can make a more informed decision.

J

 

[JmanD]

Sexyeve, you must have been writing just as I was making my response. Thats great to hear that it was a success. It sounds like what we have fantasized about. Would love to hear details. We know that there is a lot of exageration on here, but would you say there is an addictive quality about it? Also, what new levels have the two of you thought of taking it. We have definately talked about all sorts of sexy possibilties if things were to go well.

J

 

[newcouple]

Your basically the same age as us, her guy was in his mid 30s. I thought I had good stamina as well, never had any complaints with previous gfs and then with my wife.

It's just that this guy's overall stamina was way beyond what i expected. I don't know about you but the guy she was with, he had major size but he could like go from tip to base on every stroke at a good pace for 5-10 minutes, and thats 5-10 minutes of just that, he'd switch gears and still keep going but not necessarily like that. if i do that , i lose it very quickly. i am not a swinger and neitehr was my wife so i dont know how "skilled" alot of other dudes are but to go from tip to base like he did at the pace he wasgoing to me, was not something i'd expect to see.

i think his thickness was more of a difference maker fo rmy wife, the guy was thick and she liked that. the overall size was like a psychological/visual stimulation for her but when it was in her, the thickness of it was more important thanthe length even though he was both long and thick.

As for how i felt, yeah i was and am jealous of how he made her feel. i am happy she got off but just feel that they shared something my own wife and ihavent in comparison and its beyond me to get that feeling for her. we're taking a break now cause the guy asked my permission to date my wife privately and i was not ok with it. both of them wanted to go a bit further and have their fun with privacy and that honestly scared me. my wife and him are friends and work for this one health organization (volunteer work) so thats how they know each other. both are into fitness, etc. and i knew him as well before we got into this, we were casual friends, he would double date with us.

since we got into this and then took a break though, he's gone back to dating others and it makes me look/feel immature in front of my wife cause she was saying the privacy wasn't a big deal and she just wanted to be able to cut loose without worrying about me when i was present. she cut loose pretty good infront of me too lol but at any rate, he's back to dating some swfs so it makes it seem like i got nervous for no reason. i've also been messded up mentally cause now when my wife and i do our thing i can get his performance out of my head and it screws me up in how i perform so now i have even less staying power. so i'mcurrently strugglign with whether just admitting what i'm thinking to my wife and then going back to her guy and talking about doing this again. anyways, no need to rehash, i wrote this in some eariler advice posts some people helped me out.

 

[Natural]

Wonderful Thread

JmanD, this is a great thread that you have started:clap: I have really enjoyed the responses so far. I rated this thread -excellent- and I've subscribed to it.

Newdater, thanks for explaining things to us in depth. I really enjoyed your descriptions of things. I must admit that it was quite a turn-on for me to read your responses. I did reply to your thread about your friend asking to see her privately. I'm sure that you've already read my response there. I was looking forward to finding out how things have been going for you. I guess we should visit your thread again and continue writing about that there.

Also Newdater, about your performance anxiety. I understand the forces behind your anxiety, especially the size and stamina issues. I would suggest that you try to change your perspective (if possible) about what she has experienced. Try to look at that she loved you before, and still loves you as conformation that who you are "as a whole person" is what matters. I'd also attempt to build up my confidence by focusing on the pleasure and rush you got out of being able to watch. Even with not being able to watch, you can still participate in her fantasies by supporting her, talking about things, and then making love to her. I would love to be in your situation (easier said than done). I guess that I desire to experience this with a woman so badly. I think that you are very fortunate. Also, being able to see and know how she reacts to a larger cock and more stamina has to be amazing. You call it a double edged sword. I can see that, but if you choose to view it by being thankful to be part of this "fantasy" as a whole, it lightens the load. By watching them together, or hearing about her pleasure later, you can sort of live vicariously through him. It my mind, the next best thing to me having to big cock, is another lover providing it.

So now, who am I anyway? I'm just a small 26 year old single white guy with 4 years of swinging experience. At 22, I started being a boy toy for mature wifes. Cetainly not a bull, becuase my cock is just on the "good side of average", and I can't last as long as a bull either. Most of my fantasies are of me watching a future wife with a well endowed male, or another woman. I generally do have strong urges to need to screw other women. So there you have it, I'm just a young white swinger who's done quite a bit of reading and has experience with married couples.

JmanD, the fact that you have experience with swinging should be helpful. I will certainly help you in the area of communicating, both with your partner, and her lover. I sure that you and her are aware of all of the communication that helps keep a couple together over the long haul, and especially when swinging. Nevertheless, I think that you are wise to see that interracial sex will be more intense for both you and her. You can handle it though, just keep doing your homework and communicating well with her. If it were not very intense, there would not be such a strong following. This website would not exist, but it does and the lifestyle is strong!

One day, I may fortunate enough to be in a similiar position. I have to see if I can practice what I preach.

Have fun, and keep the right perspectives.

 

[Natural]

You may notice that I didn't speak in only cuckolding terms or remind you of expectations for the cuckold. I don't think there is anything wrong with being a moderate or advanced cuckold, but I just spoke from my perspective. My sexual position in interracial sex is passive, but not necessarily submissive. I'm not right, and I'm not wrong, it is just where I'm at in life. I'd like to watch and be the friend and/or waitor (bringing drinks, water, and towels) free of any humiliation other than what I get from feeling somewhat inadequate. I see these interracial and/or cuckolding fantasies as being just a reafirmation of some deeper feelings that we (the white guys) have about our sexual abilities, and what it takes to satisfy a woman.

It goes like this----(in my mind)----see I told you,,,,,ah ha......yes she can get more pleasure from someone else sometimes or most of the time......I knew it..... :hump: But instead of getting sad, get glad:yumyum: and be glad that you are able to play a role in a passionate woman's sex life. Being part of a woman's sex life, and knowing her deepest desires, even if she desires other people, is the most satisfying thing to me. If I were to be with a monogamous woman, I'd worry that she was just not telling me all of her desires, or living in denial of her own desires.

 

[WifeShafter11x7]

Jman - since you have done some swinging, this shouldn't be much of a shakeup for you and your wife. I'm assuming she'd had well endowed white men in front of u/with u in a group situation so if you have no issues with a man performing well and are secure in how you perform with your wife, it'll probably be another fun experience.

Have u decided to go with the guy you know or with the house party? If you go for an individual you just want to pick a guy that is experienced and can perform well.

I think newcouple iscoming at this from a totally different experience relative to you which is why he is struggling with stuff. Their situation is a lot different, you can see that dude and his wife went with a guy the are friends with and that the wife seemed to already be into him plus the guy seems way more insecure.

The level of how secure a husband is is really what determines how much "fun" you as a couple have. You're actively looking for a man that can deliver the goods in the bedroom so from the woman's perspective, if she is relaxed cause her husband is relaxed, she will most likely have a great time physically. In this lifestyle, even though the woman the outside lover are the ones engaging in sex, the husband really sets the tone.

I've had women that were down and husbands that were down in the beginning but then the husbands couldnt handle it after a while (during the first session) and the wife loses her interest/fun too so then it becomes a total drag for everyone. Overall, about half if not more of first time husbands have some issues with the scene, whether it's just jealousy or insecurity or whatever you call it where the expectations of how I performed and how the wife reacted is above what they expected sort of like what newcouple said where he expected some size and stamina but the lover beat what he expected by a mile. So the husband looks at himself and feels worse as a man since he is not as secure. You sound pretty secur and experienced so u shouldnt have the same issues.