Virginity: Highly over-rated.

[Son of John]

It was once the fantasy of most young men to marry a virgin, a sweet innocent girl that no other man had ever fucked! And most of us fooled ourselves into believing that we did marry such innocent women.

But the day of crisis usually comes when the husband discovers that his wife was not a virgin, and that she was fucked by at least one other guy before him, and even by several other guys.

At this point, the husband has to make some tough decisions. "Shall I leave the Slut?" or "Shall I try to salvage the relationship?" and usually "for the sake of the children". Most husbands who find themselves in this situation, and that included me at one point, go through a long and agonizing time before they decide to "cut their losses" and accept the fact that other guys have fucked their wives, and try to rebuild the relationship.

In my own case, it was a long, and very painful journey before I came to terms with the reality of the situation. I remember actually weeping and saying over and over to myself "they fucked my wife! They fucked my wife!"

But, when I fianlly came to terms with the situation, I discovered that there was only one way to realistically deal with it, and that was to take charge of her "fuck-life" by becoming the one who give permission, and even find the guys who would fuck her now, after we were married.

I can remember the excitement of sitting down with a friend, and after a bit of conversation, ask him "How would you like to fuck my wife?" After getting over the initial surprise, and learning that I was serious, he would nearly always answer "Sure! I'd love to fuck your wife!"

After that, I would tell her "Hey! Bill says he would like to fuck you!" and then suggest that we invite Bill over. We then went through a series of "friends" who would come to the house, and after some talk and laughing, she would undress and he would fuck her while I watched.

This put me back in control. Not only did I give permission for other guys to fuck her, but I was there to see if they did it right.

Does anyone identify with my feelings, or the way I handled the situation?

 

[bbwneedbigdick]

It is very apparent to me you have (had?) an inherent fear of women and their sexuality.

 

[Son of John]

Bbw, thanks for your response. I would not say that I have had an inherent fear of women. I would describe it as more of a "respect". I have never seen a woman as just a "pussy" for me to use and enjoy. I see her more as someone with sexual needs, that it is my job to satisfy, and if I can't to find someone who can.

That is why I have let, and encouraged, other men fuck my wife.

 

[bbwneedbigdick]

It was once the fantasy of most young men to marry a virgin, a sweet innocent girl that no other man had ever fucked!

I never did understand why this fantasy has been so attractive to so many men.

A virgin, “a sweet innocent girl”, is seen as “pure”. A woman who isn’t a virgin is “corrupt”, “impure” and “a slut”. Why? Why are men allowed to be impure prior to marriage? The state of virginity and non-virginity (?) is the difference of the hymen; something a “man” takes from a woman.

Not only is virginity highly over rated, as you mentioned in the title of this post, but this fantasy is patriarchal and disturbing.

And most of us fooled ourselves into believing that we did marry such innocent women.

Not really.

But the day of crisis usually comes when the husband discovers that his wife was not a virgin, and that she was fucked by at least one other guy before him, and even by several other guys.

The day of the crisis actually occurred a lot earlier, Son of John. It began on the day that somebody wasn’t being honest up front. What might have lead her to keep this secret? Could it be the patriarchal ideology that values a woman’s virginity, such that if she isn’t a virgin, she is considered corrupt, and in some cultures, even disposable?

At this point, the husband has to make some tough decisions. "Shall I leave the Slut?"

lolol

or "Shall I try to salvage the relationship?" and usually "for the sake of the children". Most husbands who find themselves in this situation, and that included me at one point, go through a long and agonizing time before they decide to "cut their losses" and accept the fact that other guys have fucked their wives, and try to rebuild the relationship.

Your despair re-cemented the idea that virginity is something to be valued. What needs to be rebuilt is a cultural shift away from this fear of women and their sexuality.

In my own case, it was a long, and very painful journey before I came to terms with the reality of the situation. I remember actually weeping and saying over and over to myself "they fucked my wife! They fucked my wife!"

Yes, how dared she enjoy and excercise her sexuality before she met you; the gift of all women.

But, when I fianlly came to terms with the situation, I discovered that there was only one way to realistically deal with it, and that was to take charge of her "fuck-life" by becoming the one who give permission, and even find the guys who would fuck her now, after we were married.

Will you be allowed to have fun with women on the side too?

 

[Son of John]

To answer the question "will I be allowed to have fun with other women", the answer is that I really don't want to. I am not interested in just fucking some other woman. My wife needs to be involved in everything I do, sexually.

I have fucked another woman, but her husband was fucking my wife at the same time, side by side on a king-size bed. That was great, but it was only marginally better than just watching him fuck my wife.

I just love to share my wife's pussy with other men, in whatever way i can. Her cunt is the center of my sexual universe. Everything of real importance happens right there, between her wide-spread legs!

 

[urban]

I've got friends who fucked married women who had 3 or more kids and they are so happy about it, not to mentioned their thrilled lovers
I've always told my wife, nowadays, married women are super-hot commodity just like married men were a few decades ago
Virginity is so super over rated if you ask me

 

[pleaser011]

It is a genetic imperative for men to care about whether or not their partners are virgins before the marriage. This is because the sexual drive is primarily for reproduction and the male needs to know that the offspring will be his and not some other man's. This is just the way it is biologically.

Now, on the other hand, most of us on this site are perverts of one sort or another. In other words our desires are perversions of what is considered to be normal. We don't necessarily worry about the offspring, mainly because we now have birth control and in the event that we may wonder about who is the father we can take a simple DNA test to find out.

Nevertheless these habits developed in the thousands of years of human evolution still linger in the modern world. So even though we objectively realize that it doesn't matter whether or not a woman is a virgin at marriage, we still may care, not really knowing why but clinging to age old beliefs that exist for outdated reasons.

I personally would never want to spend time with a virgin, unless, of course, I was hopelessly in love with her and therefore willing to spend the time guiding her through all of the adolescent stages of sexual knowledge in the hopes that she would one day mature into a sexually adventuresome woman.

 

[Cabron]

It is a genetic imperative for men to care about whether or not their partners are virgins before the marriage. This is because the sexual drive is primarily for reproduction and the male needs to know that the offspring will be his and not some other man's. This is just the way it is biologically.

I disagree with the genetic imperative comment as it relates to marriage.

It is of no genetic consequence if the woman has had sexual relations before the marriage if she's not pregnant at the time of marriage. Marry a woman on X date, have sex with her for the first time, and it will be fairly easy to back calculate her date of conception if she gives birth 9 months later.

Secondly, men don't need to know if the offspring is theirs or not if they're out there doing what nature wired them to do.....spread their seed around with as many partners as possible.

Marriage has absolutely NOTHING to do with biology.

 

[urban]

When my wife told me she had 3 boyfriends before me, I was so determined to make her my hotwife.

Virginity? I don't care because it was her given rights as a girl to have other men in her life.

I got this buddy who keeps raving and ranting that he will only marry a virgin. I hope he rot by the corner.

 

[Son of John]

Thanks to all those who shared their insights. It is not hard to figure-out that I have changed completely from the day I first got married. Now I am glad that my wife was NOT a virgin when I married her.

I love to think about how many other men have enjoyed her body the way that I do, and I have been so fortunate as to be able to talk with some of them. I love to hear another guy use the phrase, when talking to me, "when I fucked your wife".

Now that I am married to such a well-fucked woman, I would not go back to being the way I was before for ANYTHING!!!

 

[Warpt]

I have only fucked 2 virgins in my life time. Neither were worth the trouble, neither were as fun as the easy girlfriends.
In my younger days, in small town USA, you had to spend way too much time, months to years, to get pussy from a good girl. The kind you wanted to marry.
Once I got over them, and got some kinky easy pussy, I said "fuck the virgins". I never wanted another one again.
They don't know what they are doing, they almost make you lose your boner before they decide to go ahead. It was not fun, but I did like being the first to bust their cherry.

 

[Son of John]

Warpt, since I have never actually fucked a virgin, I cannot understand what it would be like. My second wife told me that she was a "technical virgin" when we got married. I did not ask her what that meant, but I believe it meant that she had had just about every sexual experience with a man, short of actual cock-in-pussy fucking.

I'm sure she was finger-fucked to orgasm, and that she sucked cocks and swallowed cum. She may even have had her pussy eaten. But she somehow felt that she had saved herself for me by not letting another guy actually shove his cock up her cunt and give her a load.