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Seeking Honest Advice
- Thread starterratherbecucking
- Start date
Good luck! Please let us know how it's going, if you decide to proceed....
Ratherbecucking,
I suspect that may be the best way to proceed.
If your wife seems not to be put off and offended by the article I suggested (above), at some later time that seems appropriate you might suggest this article to her:
For Women Scandalous Magazine cuckolding, Playgirl, fashion, beauty, health, sex advice for women
by way of letting her know there are quite a few married couples who have "hot wife / cuckold husband" relationships, find it a satisfying way to live, and — with the exception of not accepting the social convention of sexual exclusivity within marriage — are normal folks with, in many cases, strong marriages.
If you begin to sense your wife may be moving toward at least thinking on occasion about the idea of becoming your cuckoldress; i.e., not angrily rejecting the whole concept out of hand, you might consider initiating the strategy outlined in the 8-part article that begins here:
» A Wife Into A Hotwife Hot Wife Blog - hotwife and cuckold husband fetish discussion
You will need to proceed carefully, though, with full regard for her sensibilities. You should also, I suspect, be prepared for the whole process taking a significant amount of time.... say, on the order of one to several years.... before your wife takes her first lover.
Good luck, and I hope we'll hear from you from time-to-time re. how you and your wife are doing if you should decide to start down this path with her.
—Custer
Ratherbecucking,
ratherbecucking said:
I suspect that may be the best way to proceed.
If your wife seems not to be put off and offended by the article I suggested (above), at some later time that seems appropriate you might suggest this article to her:
For Women Scandalous Magazine cuckolding, Playgirl, fashion, beauty, health, sex advice for women
by way of letting her know there are quite a few married couples who have "hot wife / cuckold husband" relationships, find it a satisfying way to live, and — with the exception of not accepting the social convention of sexual exclusivity within marriage — are normal folks with, in many cases, strong marriages.
If you begin to sense your wife may be moving toward at least thinking on occasion about the idea of becoming your cuckoldress; i.e., not angrily rejecting the whole concept out of hand, you might consider initiating the strategy outlined in the 8-part article that begins here:
» A Wife Into A Hotwife Hot Wife Blog - hotwife and cuckold husband fetish discussion
You will need to proceed carefully, though, with full regard for her sensibilities. You should also, I suspect, be prepared for the whole process taking a significant amount of time.... say, on the order of one to several years.... before your wife takes her first lover.
Good luck, and I hope we'll hear from you from time-to-time re. how you and your wife are doing if you should decide to start down this path with her.
—Custer
Ugh... the "bull" is certainly not making this easy. I emailed him yesterday (once I started to lean toward not meeting) to let him know this Friday might not work out. That way it wouldn't be a total surprise if I did end up backing out. Since I was still on the fence, I did not mention anything about possibly not wanting to do it ever. I just told him it looked like I was going to have a conflict and I'd have to get back to him on Friday morning.
Well, I jumped on email just now to send him a message that I was planning to back out of the whole thing entirely. I found this message from him in my inbox as a response to my "may-have-a-conflict" message from yesterday.
Now, as far as the talk about what he'd like to do with my wife, I made it clear early on that Tash actually being involved was not going to happen and that it was puerly fantasy land for me. But we both agreed it would be hotter to have our discussions (and potentially encounters) as though him fucking her is where things would ultimately lead. But we're both clear that the reality is that it won't actually happen that way (though I do have newfound hope thanks to everybody here ).
Anyway... I still know that not meeting up with him is the way to go (I think anyway ). But it's quite a pitch he made. And now I'm back on the fence. I think I'll send him some additional pics tonight and then sleep on it.
Well, I jumped on email just now to send him a message that I was planning to back out of the whole thing entirely. I found this message from him in my inbox as a response to my "may-have-a-conflict" message from yesterday.
Sorry to hear that- I will check my email for updates from you on Friday morning thru noon or so, and if you can give me the word I can be there in about 20 minutes. I could still meet with you later in the morning, or even in the afternoon up until around 3pm.... that drink you were talking about is definately sounding good to relax any nervousness. Any chance you could send me a few more photos of lovely Tash in the meantime?
If things go well I believe you might enjoy seeing in person what Tasha wishes she was getting from you right now. She does need a cock that's bigger than yours, and I'm sure she would enjoy letting me push deeper inside than you have ever been. I definately want you there someday to undress her for me, item by item, and when you remove her blouse and bra I will want to kiss her nipples and neck while you watch. When you remove her panties for me I will let you wrap them around my shaft and make you stroke it for me while she watches you do that. I'll bet she would secretly love to have her husband service both her and her new lover. When I'm good and hard you will be the one that pulls her legs apart for me....and you will be the one to ask me to do her for you. But I'm not gonna put it in her until you spend some time licking her tight little pussy to get her ready to receive me.
When I'm ready, Tasha is gonna watch as you take hold of my hardness and guide it between her legs. And she's going to hear you say the words "please fuck Tasha for me" and feel your hand still there between us as I begin to push inside her. You like watching this don't you, and I very much want you to be a part of the action when I am doing Tasha for you, watching as I pleasure her in ways that she could never get from your little dick. I wonder if she ever fucked guys with big cocks before she met you....or will I be her first?
At some point her beauty and tightness will be too much for me and it will be time to cum. It will be your call as to whether I do that deep inside her, or whether I pull out and shoot it all over her tummy, or maybe your preference is that I pull out and shoot it on her panties that you removed from her earlier. After all, the cleanup work is going to be yours.....and I do want you to enjoy yourself.
I'll check email after 10pm tonight, please update me and send some more pics if possible. If it's an afternoon meeting, might want to consider just meeting at our cars in the Starbucks parking lot and just popping open a beer in the car while we talk. I will be in a white Dodge Caravan (soccer mom van haha) with a blue fleece jacket.
If things go well I believe you might enjoy seeing in person what Tasha wishes she was getting from you right now. She does need a cock that's bigger than yours, and I'm sure she would enjoy letting me push deeper inside than you have ever been. I definately want you there someday to undress her for me, item by item, and when you remove her blouse and bra I will want to kiss her nipples and neck while you watch. When you remove her panties for me I will let you wrap them around my shaft and make you stroke it for me while she watches you do that. I'll bet she would secretly love to have her husband service both her and her new lover. When I'm good and hard you will be the one that pulls her legs apart for me....and you will be the one to ask me to do her for you. But I'm not gonna put it in her until you spend some time licking her tight little pussy to get her ready to receive me.
When I'm ready, Tasha is gonna watch as you take hold of my hardness and guide it between her legs. And she's going to hear you say the words "please fuck Tasha for me" and feel your hand still there between us as I begin to push inside her. You like watching this don't you, and I very much want you to be a part of the action when I am doing Tasha for you, watching as I pleasure her in ways that she could never get from your little dick. I wonder if she ever fucked guys with big cocks before she met you....or will I be her first?
At some point her beauty and tightness will be too much for me and it will be time to cum. It will be your call as to whether I do that deep inside her, or whether I pull out and shoot it all over her tummy, or maybe your preference is that I pull out and shoot it on her panties that you removed from her earlier. After all, the cleanup work is going to be yours.....and I do want you to enjoy yourself.
I'll check email after 10pm tonight, please update me and send some more pics if possible. If it's an afternoon meeting, might want to consider just meeting at our cars in the Starbucks parking lot and just popping open a beer in the car while we talk. I will be in a white Dodge Caravan (soccer mom van haha) with a blue fleece jacket.
Now, as far as the talk about what he'd like to do with my wife, I made it clear early on that Tash actually being involved was not going to happen and that it was puerly fantasy land for me. But we both agreed it would be hotter to have our discussions (and potentially encounters) as though him fucking her is where things would ultimately lead. But we're both clear that the reality is that it won't actually happen that way (though I do have newfound hope thanks to everybody here
).Anyway... I still know that not meeting up with him is the way to go (I think anyway
). But it's quite a pitch he made. And now I'm back on the fence. I think I'll send him some additional pics tonight and then sleep on it.Custer Laststand said:Ratherbecucking,
I suspect that may be the best way to proceed.
If your wife seems not to be put off and offended by the article I suggested (above), at some later time that seems appropriate you might suggest this article to her:
For Women Scandalous Magazine cuckolding, Playgirl, fashion, beauty, health, sex advice for women
by way of letting her know there are quite a few married couples who have "hot wife / cuckold husband" relationships, find it a satisfying way to live, and — with the exception of not accepting the social convention of sexual exclusivity within marriage — are normal folks with, in many cases, strong marriages.
If you begin to sense your wife may be moving toward at least thinking on occasion about the idea of becoming your cuckoldress; i.e., not angrily rejecting the whole concept out of hand, you might consider initiating the strategy outlined in the 8-part article that begins here:
» A Wife Into A Hotwife Hot Wife Blog - hotwife and cuckold husband fetish discussion
You will need to proceed carefully, though, with full regard for her sensibilities. You should also, I suspect, be prepared for the whole process taking a significant amount of time.... say, on the order of one to several years.... before your wife takes her first lover.
Good luck, and I hope we'll hear from you from time-to-time re. how you and your wife are doing if you should decide to start down this path with her.
—Custer
Thanks again Custer! Regardless of what goes down this week, these references you're passing along are great. I'm stashing them away in my secret bookmarks folder and will definitely try to use them to make my fantasies become a beautiful reality for both Tasha and myself someday.
And I'll certainly keep everyone here up to date.
Ratherbecucking,
Hm.... sounds like this guy is definitely serious. He writes rather well, too.
I think that's a good way to view it and approach it.
A big factor that will help your wife Tash "come around" to acceptance of the desirability of taking lovers will be having a specific man in mind she likes and feels comfortable with. Without a specific candidate, thinking about taking lovers in the abstract will, I suspect, be much more difficult for her. Thus, I would suggest meeting and talking with this guy — not for any quasi or actual homosexual encounter, but just to talk about the whole subject of hot wives, cuckold husbands, and his previous experiences along those lines. Doing so will enable you to, in effect, screen him and determine whether he is someone you have "good feelings" about. A bar or coffee house would be a better setting than in his van.
I would say meeting and talking with him probably is the right way to go, if you're serious about moving your wife in the direction of becoming your cuckoldress. In identifying him and making contact, you've already taken a big step. He sounds pretty reasonable and serious about this. If you decide you have the "right feel" about him and can visualize him (potentially) as your wife's lover, you and he can move forward with plans for him to meet both you and Tash for some social occasion. For that, of course, the two of you will have to agree on some mutually-consistent story re. who he is and why you want to get together with him.... say, he's a work colleague you feel she'd enjoy spending an evening with, then invite him over for dinner, or something or other.
I suggest your goal at this point should not be for this guy — assuming you decide after meeting and talking with him that he seems OK — to start heavily putting moves on your wife or, in fact, do anything at all of a sexual nature. Rather, it should be for you to simply introduce Tash to him, and provide him with some time to make a favorable impression and establish some rapport with her, in a setting and manner she will not find threatening in any way.
—Custer
ratherbecucking said:
Hm.... sounds like this guy is definitely serious. He writes rather well, too.
ratherbecucking said:
I think that's a good way to view it and approach it.
A big factor that will help your wife Tash "come around" to acceptance of the desirability of taking lovers will be having a specific man in mind she likes and feels comfortable with. Without a specific candidate, thinking about taking lovers in the abstract will, I suspect, be much more difficult for her. Thus, I would suggest meeting and talking with this guy — not for any quasi or actual homosexual encounter, but just to talk about the whole subject of hot wives, cuckold husbands, and his previous experiences along those lines. Doing so will enable you to, in effect, screen him and determine whether he is someone you have "good feelings" about. A bar or coffee house would be a better setting than in his van.
ratherbecucking said:Anyway... I still know that not meeting up with him is the way to go (I think anyway
I would say meeting and talking with him probably is the right way to go, if you're serious about moving your wife in the direction of becoming your cuckoldress. In identifying him and making contact, you've already taken a big step. He sounds pretty reasonable and serious about this. If you decide you have the "right feel" about him and can visualize him (potentially) as your wife's lover, you and he can move forward with plans for him to meet both you and Tash for some social occasion. For that, of course, the two of you will have to agree on some mutually-consistent story re. who he is and why you want to get together with him.... say, he's a work colleague you feel she'd enjoy spending an evening with, then invite him over for dinner, or something or other.
I suggest your goal at this point should not be for this guy — assuming you decide after meeting and talking with him that he seems OK — to start heavily putting moves on your wife or, in fact, do anything at all of a sexual nature. Rather, it should be for you to simply introduce Tash to him, and provide him with some time to make a favorable impression and establish some rapport with her, in a setting and manner she will not find threatening in any way.
—Custer
Custer Laststand said:
I think I'm going to meet him. After reading his email I was already starting to lean that way again. And then reading your message, Custer, it helped me to realize something - if this really is going to become a reality at some point, then it needs to move beyond chat rooms, emails and message boards and into some real life encounters.
I mean, I've been chatting up "bulls" online for years now. This meeting tomorrow won't be much different necessarily. It will just be in person instead of on the keyboard (which I do realize will be quite a bit more intense). That element of reality might help start the process of taking the whole thing from fantasy to reality at some point.
Yikes. Had done a 180; now I've done a full 360. Still not positive, but I think it feels right to at least meet up for a drink and see what it is like to have such a conversation face to face.
Ratherbecucking,
Yes, I'd say go for it.
Definitely.
I think it's an essential step. It won't commit you to anything, but it will probably enable you to get a feel for what this guy is all about and whether he's someone to whom you might want to introduce your wife (or not).
Yup. Will look forward to hearing how it goes.
—Custer
* BTW, I suggest asking him — casually, and in an offhand sort of way — what he does for a living. No need to be too specific, such that he feels you're asking him to "identify himself" — but pay close attention to how he answers that question, and try to make a judgment as to whether he's lying or telling you the truth. I would go so far as to say this is important.
ratherbecucking said:
Yes, I'd say go for it.
ratherbecucking said:
Definitely.
ratherbecucking said:
I think it's an essential step. It won't commit you to anything, but it will probably enable you to get a feel for what this guy is all about and whether he's someone to whom you might want to introduce your wife (or not).
ratherbecucking said:
Yup. Will look forward to hearing how it goes.
—Custer
* BTW, I suggest asking him — casually, and in an offhand sort of way — what he does for a living. No need to be too specific, such that he feels you're asking him to "identify himself" — but pay close attention to how he answers that question, and try to make a judgment as to whether he's lying or telling you the truth. I would go so far as to say this is important.
Custer Laststand said:
Having trouble sleeping now that I've decided to go for it.
Full of excitement, nervous energy, anticipation, etc, etc. Weird combination of how I felt as a kid the night before Christmas and how I felt in college the night before a big final. Ha!
Okay, time to try counting sheep again or something.
P.S. Thanks for the tip about employment. I'll definitely ask that one.
Last edited by a moderator:
ratherbecucking said:Thanks for the reply Doc. I certainly do not deny that I have some bisexual urges. But like I said, there's no overall attraction to men at all. There's never a face or a body type or a scent or anything of that nature when I'm picturing a guy in my head. There's just a man with a big dick who recognizes his superiority to me and has the desire to fuck my wife. If that's gay in your book, then I guess I'm gay as far as you're concerned. I struggle with labels sometimes. I just know what I'm interested in.
I think (though I can't say for sure) that most cuckolds have an appreciation for their inferiority to their wife's bull, in addition to their appreciation for their wife becoming the sexual being she really is. There are two distinct aspects to their cuck existence.
I would assume, also, that for most true cucks, 90% of the satisfaction they get from the situation is derived from knowing that their wife is experiencing the type of raw, carnal pleasure that she deserves.
With me, I definitely have a strong desire for my wife to experience such pleasure. But I think my satisfaction scale is slid more toward the side of realizing my inferiority to the (would-be) bull. Quite possibly because I recognize that that aspect is the only one I can realistically expect to have in real life at this time.
Or maybe I'm gay.
And, sorry I cannot make it more interesting for you, but I am white.
Thanks again for the reply!
I don't like the homosexual cuckolds, males dressing and acting like women is at best stupid silly (in my opinion) and just down right creepy and a BIG TURNOFF. Also, stealing a man's woman who wants you to steal her, kinda takes the fun out of it. - But to each there own.
Dr. Bigboner said:
Just to clarify, I don't plan to dress or act like a woman. Also, aren't most cucks complicit to their wife being taken by another man? Otherwise wouldn't they just be pissed off husbands with cheating wives? Not meant to be rhetorical questions; trying to learn all the nuances of the lifestyle and what it means to different people. As always, thank you for the reply.
Well, I did it. I met up with him. And, quite frankly, it sucked. So kudos to those who told me not to do it.
We met up and I instantly lost my hardon that I had built up on the way down to meet. Like I said, when I fantasize about the cuck lifestyle, I never picture a face or body or anything like that as far as the bull goes. It's just my hot-ass wife with some faceless, well-endowed, suave, alpha-male type who knows what she needs and how to give it to her.
Well, the first spot where things went wrong is that this guy had a face. And a below average one at that. I'm not even sure what I expected or wished that he would look like. But it wasn't that. Maybe I would have been turned off at that point regardless, since I'm not really attracted to guys physically to begin with.
Anyway, we chatted for awhile. He told me how hot Tasha made him and how he wanted to do all these things with her and make me watch. The fact that he was less attractive than me, less fit than me and seemingly less confident than me was interfering with my ability to get aroused by this. But I put all that out of my mind and just focused on what he was saying and put that picture of the generic alpha-male back in my head.
That allowed me to get into it a little more. And my dick was at full attention after a few more minutes of progressively more sexual talk about my wife. When he suggested we go to his van and look at her pics I was all for it.
So we get in his van. Somehow the whole Dodge Caravan aspect was not adding to the hotness of the situation for me. But we got in and continued our conversation and things were going okay, as long as I blocked out the fact that I was talking to some dude that my wife would not touch in a million years in his Dodge Caravan in a strip mall parking lot.
He starts browsing through her pics and tells me how they're making his dick swell up. I take out a pair of her panties I'd brought along and place them on his lap. He shutters a little bit at the sight of them. And proceeds to unzip his pants. Out pops a semi-hard cock that I can already tell is not going to grow to anywhere near the size he'd claimed it to be (shocker, right?).
Now I tend to exaggerate the smallness of my cock when chatting up a bull. I actually have a pretty decent sized cock. Right around 6", slightly above average thickness and a nice fat head. I think the idea of being smaller than a bull is one of the tangible aspects of being inferior in general. So it gets emphasized in my fantasies.
After a few minutes of him panty-stroking while I talked about how I'd love him to ravish my wife while he leafed through her pics, he reaches what is obviously full mast. Quite disappointing.
While the bull having a huge cock is not the most important thing to me, it definitely is a part of it. And after fantasizing for the past week that he was going to have at least three inches in length and an inch or so of girth over me, it turns out he was smaller on both accounts.
While he strokes with her panties and continues to look at her pics, his cock is fading between full mast and half mast. And it's hot in his minivan. And it smells weird. Not the experience I had imagined.
Despite that, just the sight of my wife's pics and her panties and the fact that another man is enjoying both of those is enough for my dick to stay interested even though my mind is starting to check out on the whole deal. There's a nice-sized bulge in my khakis.
Noticing that I am rubbing my dick through my pants, he asks if he can see what Tash is used to getting. I'm pretty well horned up at this point from her pics and panties being scattered around. So I unzip and pull mine out. I can sense immediately that this meeting is turning out quite different than either of us had anticipated.
My cock is hard as a rock. His is stuck in an in between state. My cock is longer and thicker than his. My swollen head is much plumper. I suppose it's subjective, but I'd say I was more attractive. I'm definitely better built. And the words I have been contributing to the conversation have rolled off my tongue with an heir of confidence, while he's been muttering along about how good looking she is.
At this point, I am starting to get off on how superior I am to him. What the hell just happened here?
I grab a pair of her panties and start jerking. I tell him that I'm about to shoot all over them. He says, "yeah, be a good little cuck" (whatever dude). After a few more seconds of focusing on her gorgeous tits in this one particular pic, I explode. The first two shots are up on his dashboard. The next five or however many it was flood her panties that I have in my hand. All he said was "whoa".
At this point, any remaining interest I'd had in him from the sheer fact that he was a guy who was not me and was getting off to my wife has discipated. I thanked him for meeting up, gathered Tasha's pics and panties and basically said see ya around.
So, all in all, not anything like what I expected going in. I think I did confirm two things though...
1. I'll never do anything like this again. Tasha's involvement is key for me to get the true enjoyment I think I'd get out of this fantasy. AND...
2. If I'm ever lucky enough to experience a true cuck lifestyle with Tash, the bar we set for bulls is going to be pretty high. It will need to be brains, brawn and cock. In other words the guy I met today wouldn't even make it past the first cut.
We met up and I instantly lost my hardon that I had built up on the way down to meet. Like I said, when I fantasize about the cuck lifestyle, I never picture a face or body or anything like that as far as the bull goes. It's just my hot-ass wife with some faceless, well-endowed, suave, alpha-male type who knows what she needs and how to give it to her.
Well, the first spot where things went wrong is that this guy had a face. And a below average one at that. I'm not even sure what I expected or wished that he would look like. But it wasn't that. Maybe I would have been turned off at that point regardless, since I'm not really attracted to guys physically to begin with.
Anyway, we chatted for awhile. He told me how hot Tasha made him and how he wanted to do all these things with her and make me watch. The fact that he was less attractive than me, less fit than me and seemingly less confident than me was interfering with my ability to get aroused by this. But I put all that out of my mind and just focused on what he was saying and put that picture of the generic alpha-male back in my head.
That allowed me to get into it a little more. And my dick was at full attention after a few more minutes of progressively more sexual talk about my wife. When he suggested we go to his van and look at her pics I was all for it.
So we get in his van. Somehow the whole Dodge Caravan aspect was not adding to the hotness of the situation for me. But we got in and continued our conversation and things were going okay, as long as I blocked out the fact that I was talking to some dude that my wife would not touch in a million years in his Dodge Caravan in a strip mall parking lot.
He starts browsing through her pics and tells me how they're making his dick swell up. I take out a pair of her panties I'd brought along and place them on his lap. He shutters a little bit at the sight of them. And proceeds to unzip his pants. Out pops a semi-hard cock that I can already tell is not going to grow to anywhere near the size he'd claimed it to be (shocker, right?).
Now I tend to exaggerate the smallness of my cock when chatting up a bull. I actually have a pretty decent sized cock. Right around 6", slightly above average thickness and a nice fat head. I think the idea of being smaller than a bull is one of the tangible aspects of being inferior in general. So it gets emphasized in my fantasies.
After a few minutes of him panty-stroking while I talked about how I'd love him to ravish my wife while he leafed through her pics, he reaches what is obviously full mast. Quite disappointing.
While the bull having a huge cock is not the most important thing to me, it definitely is a part of it. And after fantasizing for the past week that he was going to have at least three inches in length and an inch or so of girth over me, it turns out he was smaller on both accounts.
While he strokes with her panties and continues to look at her pics, his cock is fading between full mast and half mast. And it's hot in his minivan. And it smells weird. Not the experience I had imagined.
Despite that, just the sight of my wife's pics and her panties and the fact that another man is enjoying both of those is enough for my dick to stay interested even though my mind is starting to check out on the whole deal. There's a nice-sized bulge in my khakis.
Noticing that I am rubbing my dick through my pants, he asks if he can see what Tash is used to getting. I'm pretty well horned up at this point from her pics and panties being scattered around. So I unzip and pull mine out. I can sense immediately that this meeting is turning out quite different than either of us had anticipated.
My cock is hard as a rock. His is stuck in an in between state. My cock is longer and thicker than his. My swollen head is much plumper. I suppose it's subjective, but I'd say I was more attractive. I'm definitely better built. And the words I have been contributing to the conversation have rolled off my tongue with an heir of confidence, while he's been muttering along about how good looking she is.
At this point, I am starting to get off on how superior I am to him. What the hell just happened here?
I grab a pair of her panties and start jerking. I tell him that I'm about to shoot all over them. He says, "yeah, be a good little cuck" (whatever dude). After a few more seconds of focusing on her gorgeous tits in this one particular pic, I explode. The first two shots are up on his dashboard. The next five or however many it was flood her panties that I have in my hand. All he said was "whoa".
At this point, any remaining interest I'd had in him from the sheer fact that he was a guy who was not me and was getting off to my wife has discipated. I thanked him for meeting up, gathered Tasha's pics and panties and basically said see ya around.
So, all in all, not anything like what I expected going in. I think I did confirm two things though...
1. I'll never do anything like this again. Tasha's involvement is key for me to get the true enjoyment I think I'd get out of this fantasy. AND...
2. If I'm ever lucky enough to experience a true cuck lifestyle with Tash, the bar we set for bulls is going to be pretty high. It will need to be brains, brawn and cock. In other words the guy I met today wouldn't even make it past the first cut.
Hm... well, that's life in "the real world" (such as it is).
Ratherbecucking,
Ah, well. As I suggested:
And as you found:
But on the plus side, you did determine whether he is someone to whom you would want to introduce your wife. He isn't.
There is, of course, at least one way it could have turned out even worse. You could have brought your wife along for both of you to meet him. That, almost certainly, would have turned her off even further than she is now re. the possibility of taking a lover. So, by scoping this guy out in advance by yourself, you did the right thing (in my opinion).
You might be able to do better in the future by modifying your search strategy. For instance: (i) identify someone on, e.g., AFF who looks like a potential candidate. (ii) Write to him, but don't just send him photos of your wife. Also ask him to send you photos of himself. (iii) If you still think he looks like a potential candidate, ask him to send you photos of himself mostly undressed; say, in a swimsuit. (iv) Finally, ask him for photos of himself in the nude, showing his erect cock. (His photos, of course, can partially or mostly obscure his face, but should enable you to ascertain his facial features look at least reasonably acceptable.) (v) If he still appears to be a candidate, arrange for a phone conversation. (vi) Finally, if he "passes" your phone interview, arrange to meet him in person.
It's important, I would say, to keep in mind that your sexual fantasies are not like real life. In imagining the guy you met would have a cock about 3 inches longer than yours (around 9 inches, apparently), you were probably imaging a guy with a cock more than 5 or 6 standard deviations beyond the mean. In other words, a *real* outlier. (The average cock length is somewhere between 5.1 and 6.0 inches, depending on which survey you look at, and the standard deviation [according to one survey] is around +/- 0.4 inches.) I'll leave it to you to look up the definition of "st'd dev." and calculate the probabilities. Suffice it to say the probability of a random man having a cock length of 9 inches or greater may be no better than about 1 in 1000, or something on that order.
In real life... well... people are people.
—Custer
Ratherbecucking,
Ah, well. As I suggested:
Custer Laststand said:
And as you found:
ratherbecucking said:
But on the plus side, you did determine whether he is someone to whom you would want to introduce your wife. He isn't.
There is, of course, at least one way it could have turned out even worse. You could have brought your wife along for both of you to meet him. That, almost certainly, would have turned her off even further than she is now re. the possibility of taking a lover. So, by scoping this guy out in advance by yourself, you did the right thing (in my opinion).
You might be able to do better in the future by modifying your search strategy. For instance: (i) identify someone on, e.g., AFF who looks like a potential candidate. (ii) Write to him, but don't just send him photos of your wife. Also ask him to send you photos of himself. (iii) If you still think he looks like a potential candidate, ask him to send you photos of himself mostly undressed; say, in a swimsuit. (iv) Finally, ask him for photos of himself in the nude, showing his erect cock. (His photos, of course, can partially or mostly obscure his face, but should enable you to ascertain his facial features look at least reasonably acceptable.) (v) If he still appears to be a candidate, arrange for a phone conversation. (vi) Finally, if he "passes" your phone interview, arrange to meet him in person.
It's important, I would say, to keep in mind that your sexual fantasies are not like real life. In imagining the guy you met would have a cock about 3 inches longer than yours (around 9 inches, apparently), you were probably imaging a guy with a cock more than 5 or 6 standard deviations beyond the mean. In other words, a *real* outlier. (The average cock length is somewhere between 5.1 and 6.0 inches, depending on which survey you look at, and the standard deviation [according to one survey] is around +/- 0.4 inches.) I'll leave it to you to look up the definition of "st'd dev." and calculate the probabilities. Suffice it to say the probability of a random man having a cock length of 9 inches or greater may be no better than about 1 in 1000, or something on that order.
In real life... well... people are people.
—Custer
So, you met him without seeing a picture? And you were disappointed? Well, I am not surprised. I had assume that you had exchanged pictures, so that was a big mistake. As for him being attractive, that's really for your wife to decide, and because she was not in on this, well, not much to say about that.
So, what now. You made a mistake, which we all do and will continue to do, so don't let that get you down or deter you. Look back and learn from your mistakes, then move forward. Hopefully you've learned that you need your wife to make this work.
At this point, I would probably take some time to recover, take all the time you need. Then do what you should have done in the first place, and that is to get your wife interested. Sell her on it. Don't push her, encourage her by planting ideas in her head, and then let them grown. It may take time, but there is no hurry. Slow down. Don't forget to enjoy the journey, you may find it more exciting than the destination.
So, what now. You made a mistake, which we all do and will continue to do, so don't let that get you down or deter you. Look back and learn from your mistakes, then move forward. Hopefully you've learned that you need your wife to make this work.
At this point, I would probably take some time to recover, take all the time you need. Then do what you should have done in the first place, and that is to get your wife interested. Sell her on it. Don't push her, encourage her by planting ideas in her head, and then let them grown. It may take time, but there is no hurry. Slow down. Don't forget to enjoy the journey, you may find it more exciting than the destination.
try fantasy
You are right to be concerned about your wife's reaction if you bring up the subject out of the blue. But I have known other cuckold relationships (as a bull) that started out with similar trepidation on the part of the husband, and they were surprised at their wife's positive reaction, even if it took some time for the suggestion to sink in, be privately used in fantasy by the wife, and gradually be accepted. While you are having sex with your wife, try suggesting that the you each share some fantasies. Talking about fantasies is safer than an outright suggestion or request, because it is after all just fantasy. Everyone, even your wife has sexual fantasies that they would hesitate to try to act out in reality (pity, that). Get her to share a wild but I would never do that fantasy, and then share your, but I would never do that fantasy. She may be taken aback at first, and if she reacts negatively, just say "It's just a fantasy, Dear. Nothing to worry about". But you will have planted the seed. Then look for opportunities to further explore the fantasy and discuss it as it seems okay to do so. Explain to her that you love her and realise that you may not fully satisfy her sexually and that you want her to be happy and satisfied. Expalin that you would sacrifice to ensure she is happy. Don't push it. Let her think about and fantasize about it. i can almost guarantee she will. Wait awhile to see if she brings it up. If not, bring it up again yourself after a few weeks, perhaps even after sharing a nother fantasy or two and monitoring her fantasies to se if they are shifting in the direction you wish.
Anyway, you get my point. It takes time and subtle suggestion and fantasy. Sometimes, the wife will gradually get excited about the prospects of sex with another man, particularly if she has been secretly disatisfied with sex with you. But if the realtionship is based on true love, she will need reassurance, after she brings up the question of "Do you really want me to do this?", that you will still love her and that if anything you will be happier because you will know she is finally getting sexual satisfaction.
There are no guarantees. There are risks, but you can always cut the process short if it starts to cause serious problems in the relationship.
Good luck.
ja0707
You are right to be concerned about your wife's reaction if you bring up the subject out of the blue. But I have known other cuckold relationships (as a bull) that started out with similar trepidation on the part of the husband, and they were surprised at their wife's positive reaction, even if it took some time for the suggestion to sink in, be privately used in fantasy by the wife, and gradually be accepted. While you are having sex with your wife, try suggesting that the you each share some fantasies. Talking about fantasies is safer than an outright suggestion or request, because it is after all just fantasy. Everyone, even your wife has sexual fantasies that they would hesitate to try to act out in reality (pity, that). Get her to share a wild but I would never do that fantasy, and then share your, but I would never do that fantasy. She may be taken aback at first, and if she reacts negatively, just say "It's just a fantasy, Dear. Nothing to worry about". But you will have planted the seed. Then look for opportunities to further explore the fantasy and discuss it as it seems okay to do so. Explain to her that you love her and realise that you may not fully satisfy her sexually and that you want her to be happy and satisfied. Expalin that you would sacrifice to ensure she is happy. Don't push it. Let her think about and fantasize about it. i can almost guarantee she will. Wait awhile to see if she brings it up. If not, bring it up again yourself after a few weeks, perhaps even after sharing a nother fantasy or two and monitoring her fantasies to se if they are shifting in the direction you wish.
Anyway, you get my point. It takes time and subtle suggestion and fantasy. Sometimes, the wife will gradually get excited about the prospects of sex with another man, particularly if she has been secretly disatisfied with sex with you. But if the realtionship is based on true love, she will need reassurance, after she brings up the question of "Do you really want me to do this?", that you will still love her and that if anything you will be happier because you will know she is finally getting sexual satisfaction.
There are no guarantees. There are risks, but you can always cut the process short if it starts to cause serious problems in the relationship.
Good luck.
ja0707
try fantasy and subtle suggestion
You are right to be concerned about your wife's reaction if you bring up the subject out of the blue. But I have known other cuckold relationships (as a bull) that started out with similar trepidation on the part of the husband, and they were surprised at their wife's positive reaction, even if it took some time for the suggestion to sink in, be privately used in fantasy by the wife, and gradually be accepted. While you are having sex with your wife, try suggesting that the you each share some fantasies. Talking about fantasies is safer than an outright suggestion or request, because it is after all just fantasy. Everyone, even your wife has sexual fantasies that they would hesitate to try to act out in reality (pity, that). Get her to share a wild but I would never do that fantasy, and then share your, but I would never do that fantasy. She may be taken aback at first, and if she reacts negatively, just say "It's just a fantasy, Dear. Nothing to worry about". But you will have planted the seed. Then look for opportunities to further explore the fantasy and discuss it as it seems okay to do so. Explain to her that you love her and realise that you may not fully satisfy her sexually and that you want her to be happy and satisfied. Expalin that you would sacrifice to ensure she is happy. Don't push it. Let her think about and fantasize about it. i can almost guarantee she will. Wait awhile to see if she brings it up. If not, bring it up again yourself after a few weeks, perhaps even after sharing a nother fantasy or two and monitoring her fantasies to se if they are shifting in the direction you wish.
Anyway, you get my point. It takes time and subtle suggestion and fantasy. Sometimes, the wife will gradually get excited about the prospects of sex with another man, particularly if she has been secretly disatisfied with sex with you. But if the realtionship is based on true love, she will need reassurance, after she brings up the question of "Do you really want me to do this?", that you will still love her and that if anything you will be happier because you will know she is finally getting sexual satisfaction.
There are no guarantees. There are risks, but you can always cut the process short if it starts to cause serious problems in the relationship.
Good luck.
ja0707
You are right to be concerned about your wife's reaction if you bring up the subject out of the blue. But I have known other cuckold relationships (as a bull) that started out with similar trepidation on the part of the husband, and they were surprised at their wife's positive reaction, even if it took some time for the suggestion to sink in, be privately used in fantasy by the wife, and gradually be accepted. While you are having sex with your wife, try suggesting that the you each share some fantasies. Talking about fantasies is safer than an outright suggestion or request, because it is after all just fantasy. Everyone, even your wife has sexual fantasies that they would hesitate to try to act out in reality (pity, that). Get her to share a wild but I would never do that fantasy, and then share your, but I would never do that fantasy. She may be taken aback at first, and if she reacts negatively, just say "It's just a fantasy, Dear. Nothing to worry about". But you will have planted the seed. Then look for opportunities to further explore the fantasy and discuss it as it seems okay to do so. Explain to her that you love her and realise that you may not fully satisfy her sexually and that you want her to be happy and satisfied. Expalin that you would sacrifice to ensure she is happy. Don't push it. Let her think about and fantasize about it. i can almost guarantee she will. Wait awhile to see if she brings it up. If not, bring it up again yourself after a few weeks, perhaps even after sharing a nother fantasy or two and monitoring her fantasies to se if they are shifting in the direction you wish.
Anyway, you get my point. It takes time and subtle suggestion and fantasy. Sometimes, the wife will gradually get excited about the prospects of sex with another man, particularly if she has been secretly disatisfied with sex with you. But if the realtionship is based on true love, she will need reassurance, after she brings up the question of "Do you really want me to do this?", that you will still love her and that if anything you will be happier because you will know she is finally getting sexual satisfaction.
There are no guarantees. There are risks, but you can always cut the process short if it starts to cause serious problems in the relationship.
Good luck.
ja0707
try fantasy
You are right to be concerned about your wife's reaction if you bring up the subject out of the blue. But I have known other cuckold relationships (as a bull) that started out with similar trepidation on the part of the husband, and they were surprised at their wife's positive reaction, even if it took some time for the suggestion to sink in, be privately used in fantasy by the wife, and gradually be accepted. While you are having sex with your wife, try suggesting that the you each share some fantasies. Talking about fantasies is safer than an outright suggestion or request, because it is after all just fantasy. Everyone, even your wife has sexual fantasies that they would hesitate to try to act out in reality (pity, that). Get her to share a wild but I would never do that fantasy, and then share your, but I would never do that fantasy. She may be taken aback at first, and if she reacts negatively, just say "It's just a fantasy, Dear. Nothing to worry about". But you will have planted the seed. Then look for opportunities to further explore the fantasy and discuss it as it seems okay to do so. Explain to her that you love her and realise that you may not fully satisfy her sexually and that you want her to be happy and satisfied. Expalin that you would sacrifice to ensure she is happy. Don't push it. Let her think about and fantasize about it. i can almost guarantee she will. Wait awhile to see if she brings it up. If not, bring it up again yourself after a few weeks, perhaps even after sharing a nother fantasy or two and monitoring her fantasies to se if they are shifting in the direction you wish.
Anyway, you get my point. It takes time and subtle suggestion and fantasy. Sometimes, the wife will gradually get excited about the prospects of sex with another man, particularly if she has been secretly disatisfied with sex with you. But if the realtionship is based on true love, she will need reassurance, after she brings up the question of "Do you really want me to do this?", that you will still love her and that if anything you will be happier because you will know she is finally getting sexual satisfaction.
There are no guarantees. There are risks, but you can always cut the process short if it starts to cause serious problems in the relationship.
Good luck.
ja0707
You are right to be concerned about your wife's reaction if you bring up the subject out of the blue. But I have known other cuckold relationships (as a bull) that started out with similar trepidation on the part of the husband, and they were surprised at their wife's positive reaction, even if it took some time for the suggestion to sink in, be privately used in fantasy by the wife, and gradually be accepted. While you are having sex with your wife, try suggesting that the you each share some fantasies. Talking about fantasies is safer than an outright suggestion or request, because it is after all just fantasy. Everyone, even your wife has sexual fantasies that they would hesitate to try to act out in reality (pity, that). Get her to share a wild but I would never do that fantasy, and then share your, but I would never do that fantasy. She may be taken aback at first, and if she reacts negatively, just say "It's just a fantasy, Dear. Nothing to worry about". But you will have planted the seed. Then look for opportunities to further explore the fantasy and discuss it as it seems okay to do so. Explain to her that you love her and realise that you may not fully satisfy her sexually and that you want her to be happy and satisfied. Expalin that you would sacrifice to ensure she is happy. Don't push it. Let her think about and fantasize about it. i can almost guarantee she will. Wait awhile to see if she brings it up. If not, bring it up again yourself after a few weeks, perhaps even after sharing a nother fantasy or two and monitoring her fantasies to se if they are shifting in the direction you wish.
Anyway, you get my point. It takes time and subtle suggestion and fantasy. Sometimes, the wife will gradually get excited about the prospects of sex with another man, particularly if she has been secretly disatisfied with sex with you. But if the realtionship is based on true love, she will need reassurance, after she brings up the question of "Do you really want me to do this?", that you will still love her and that if anything you will be happier because you will know she is finally getting sexual satisfaction.
There are no guarantees. There are risks, but you can always cut the process short if it starts to cause serious problems in the relationship.
Good luck.
ja0707
Custer Laststand said:
Yep, certainly no regrets about following through on it, Custer. Even though it didn't go quite as I had imagined it would, I think it's good that I went, and I appreciate your encouragement to do so. It was a good learning experience and helps me sort out how to proceed.
Thanks for your most recent feedback as well!
