Hey everyone. I'm Karl and I'm not sure how to write about my situation. I guess this will be a some sort of journal or just random notes of my situation and me venting my feelings. I honestly don't know where and how to start so bear with me. But I feel like I need to get this out, I guess to organize my thoughts, even if it's just my incoherent ramblings no one ever reads.
I live in a happy marriage and live a busy family life. But with the help of a fellow member pointed out my happy marriage is in potential danger, because of how I've let myself slip and slide slowly deeper and deeper to being more submissive and eventually more of a cuckold to my wife than a husband. There are several red flags that I have ignored or noticed or wanted to notice. Like I said I have a happy marriage and being able to also live out many of my and my wifes fantasies has made it easy for me to end up in my predicament.
I feel like I'm still in a good position to turn things around since wife and myself are still very much in love. I don't want that to end so with the suggestion of my friend I've decided to reclaim my wife. To become her husband again, not that we would need to stop her enjoying other men, I don't want that, but her to have that respect and desire for me again. It's hard, because many of my fantasies have evolved around being a submissive cuckold, and around tease and denial. I want to be able to find a safe way to play out those fantasies without potentially risking our marriage. That is what this journal will be about. How I reclaim my wife and how it will turn out.
What puts our marriage in possible danger is that wife has a long term lover/boyfriend. They have seen each other for couple years now. During the last year they've been seeing more often. She tries to see him once a week at his place for an evening and once a month we try to have him come over for a weekend. He's been amazing for us. He was the first one who really was comfortable with me as a cuck and he has been helping us live out many of our fantasies and has been an outstanding partner in crime. Honest and reliable, giving us both what we've craved.
Well, the problem is, that they've developed feelings for each other. That itself, I've learned, is a huge red flag for many couples. We were open and honest about it and after talking everything pointed that it was okay to continue. His and our life situations didn't allow for them to pursue their feelings other than they had already did. So he stayed as her bf. Since that our situation has slipped into him being her primary source of sexual satisfaction, while I've been inside her two times in last 16 months. We've enjoyed the denial side of our relationship, but rationally thinking it isn't a healthy situation in long term, especially since their relationship is also emotional.
I still get intimate with wife and have other forms of sex with her, but he is the primary source for her orgasms. Emotionally me and wife are still solid and very strong, a really good team. That has made me feel too comfortable being their cuckold. But combine the physical advantage he has over me with the humiliation and denial aspects in the bedroom, it becomes a dangerous mix of her seeing me less as a sex providing husband and more as passive and submissive cuckold. I enjoy my role, but I feel like I've gone too far already and feel like if I don't take back my position as her husband I might not be coming back ever again. I wont be going into detail what we've done but I'm happy to discuss what we've done if someone feels the need or want to hear them.
There are two more red flags that are quite huge. One, is her biological clock ticking. I don't really know if that's even a thing but that's what I call the situation. She has said to me and him that she has these thoughts of wanting one more child. This being a huge fantasy of mine probably has clouded my judgment a lot. He obviously would be her preferred partner for the pregnancy. She has said it's just thoughts and feelings that pass, but she just sometimes thinks what it would be like being pregnant again. Me and her both feel like it's not a realistic option considering our situation and age alone. Now, he has said he'd be happy to get her pregnant. Yes, a red flag. But I don't really blame the guy. She's fucking my wife, and they have feelings, who wouldn't want to get he pregnant in that situation. The consensus still is that it is not a realistic thing, but just those thoughts and feelings out there are dangerous. And my fantasies are really messing up my thoughts about it. But realism is making me a bit worried.
One more red flag and I'm done. About him. He is divorced, has kids of his own he sees every other weekend. So his life situation is also something he doesn't want to jeopardize either. But he has had my wife meet his kids and his ex-wife. All of them got along very well. When it happened I didn't think much of it, but I've come to realize, with a help of a friend, how fucked up that situation actually could be. So now I potentially have a guy who is wanting my wife to be like his wife, seeing his kids like she's part of their family. Nothing in our discussions have ever pointed to that kind of motivations from anyone. So yea a thing to consider and talk about. Maybe it was nothing, but possibly a thing that is taking us to dangerous waters.
I guess that is a summary of our situation. I might write about more details about many things, but if anyone feels like they want more answers or information I'm happy to write and chat. So what next. My forum/chat friend suggested me to start taking steps to feel and be her husband again. And first thing I feel I should start having more sex with my wife, in a more regular frequency. I'm really nervous about taking these steps, but feel like I really need to. I know sex with me will not be the fireworks he gives her but we never had bad sex, so yea I'm trying to get back on that horse again and try not to compare myself too much with him. He isn't her husband doesn't share that connection with her, at least I wont be letting it go to that.
Wife was seeing him yesterday on Wednesday. I helped her pick clothes and lingerie for the date on Tuesday evening, and helped her get dressed in the following morning. Hugged and kissed her before she left for work, really took in her scent. And started getting ready to get my head into husband mode and just being ready to claim her when she comes home. SO he picked her up from work and they spent the evening at his place. She came home later in the evening. I greeted her with a passionate kiss straight from the door. Her smell and scent mixed with his and their sweat were intoxicating. I had to explore her body and I carefully undressed her and she sat on the couch while I kissed all over her body and finally she opened her legs and I performed our ritual and ate her out. She stroked my hair and watched me lick and suck her clean. I was rock hard and ready to burst when I was done and I gently pushed her down on her back on the couch and got on top of her kissed her. I finally whispered to her that I'm going to claim her back now and put her hand on my hard on. She was really surprised since I haven't taken this kind of intitiative in along time, and I could see that it wasn't what she thought to be doing tonight being spent and a bit sore, but she seemed to be also genuinely happy about me wanting her. He told me of course but to be gentle since she was a bit sore from earlier tonight. I kept kissing her and I've never wanted her more I was so turned on, I ran my fingers over pussy and she was so wet and swollen, a mixture of his and her juices and my saliva. I was so ready to claim her but I was so freaking excited that when she pulled down my underwear and stroked my dick I couldn't hold my load anymore and I came all over her hand, thighs, and on the couch. I just froze for a second and just mumbled no no no and buried my face between her breasts and felt so embarrassed. She giggled and soothed me saying it's okay and held me there. I could hear and see the pity in her voice and face. In the end it turned to be an intimate moment. She said she was happy I tried and we should try it again. So we just cuddled for the rest of the evening.
Even though I still feel embarrassed about last night, I was happy to see that she was genuinely happy about our trial and wanted to try again. I felt like this was a small step forward. And I hope I can get our physical connection turned up a few notches from what it is now. I hope I can perform better next time, but it's hard to shake off the image of them together and not to compare myself to him. Well, this was my first try, to reclaim her and hopefully I'll get another chance soon amidst all this craziness family life and this life style brings.
Until next time...
I live in a happy marriage and live a busy family life. But with the help of a fellow member pointed out my happy marriage is in potential danger, because of how I've let myself slip and slide slowly deeper and deeper to being more submissive and eventually more of a cuckold to my wife than a husband. There are several red flags that I have ignored or noticed or wanted to notice. Like I said I have a happy marriage and being able to also live out many of my and my wifes fantasies has made it easy for me to end up in my predicament.
I feel like I'm still in a good position to turn things around since wife and myself are still very much in love. I don't want that to end so with the suggestion of my friend I've decided to reclaim my wife. To become her husband again, not that we would need to stop her enjoying other men, I don't want that, but her to have that respect and desire for me again. It's hard, because many of my fantasies have evolved around being a submissive cuckold, and around tease and denial. I want to be able to find a safe way to play out those fantasies without potentially risking our marriage. That is what this journal will be about. How I reclaim my wife and how it will turn out.
What puts our marriage in possible danger is that wife has a long term lover/boyfriend. They have seen each other for couple years now. During the last year they've been seeing more often. She tries to see him once a week at his place for an evening and once a month we try to have him come over for a weekend. He's been amazing for us. He was the first one who really was comfortable with me as a cuck and he has been helping us live out many of our fantasies and has been an outstanding partner in crime. Honest and reliable, giving us both what we've craved.
Well, the problem is, that they've developed feelings for each other. That itself, I've learned, is a huge red flag for many couples. We were open and honest about it and after talking everything pointed that it was okay to continue. His and our life situations didn't allow for them to pursue their feelings other than they had already did. So he stayed as her bf. Since that our situation has slipped into him being her primary source of sexual satisfaction, while I've been inside her two times in last 16 months. We've enjoyed the denial side of our relationship, but rationally thinking it isn't a healthy situation in long term, especially since their relationship is also emotional.
I still get intimate with wife and have other forms of sex with her, but he is the primary source for her orgasms. Emotionally me and wife are still solid and very strong, a really good team. That has made me feel too comfortable being their cuckold. But combine the physical advantage he has over me with the humiliation and denial aspects in the bedroom, it becomes a dangerous mix of her seeing me less as a sex providing husband and more as passive and submissive cuckold. I enjoy my role, but I feel like I've gone too far already and feel like if I don't take back my position as her husband I might not be coming back ever again. I wont be going into detail what we've done but I'm happy to discuss what we've done if someone feels the need or want to hear them.
There are two more red flags that are quite huge. One, is her biological clock ticking. I don't really know if that's even a thing but that's what I call the situation. She has said to me and him that she has these thoughts of wanting one more child. This being a huge fantasy of mine probably has clouded my judgment a lot. He obviously would be her preferred partner for the pregnancy. She has said it's just thoughts and feelings that pass, but she just sometimes thinks what it would be like being pregnant again. Me and her both feel like it's not a realistic option considering our situation and age alone. Now, he has said he'd be happy to get her pregnant. Yes, a red flag. But I don't really blame the guy. She's fucking my wife, and they have feelings, who wouldn't want to get he pregnant in that situation. The consensus still is that it is not a realistic thing, but just those thoughts and feelings out there are dangerous. And my fantasies are really messing up my thoughts about it. But realism is making me a bit worried.
One more red flag and I'm done. About him. He is divorced, has kids of his own he sees every other weekend. So his life situation is also something he doesn't want to jeopardize either. But he has had my wife meet his kids and his ex-wife. All of them got along very well. When it happened I didn't think much of it, but I've come to realize, with a help of a friend, how fucked up that situation actually could be. So now I potentially have a guy who is wanting my wife to be like his wife, seeing his kids like she's part of their family. Nothing in our discussions have ever pointed to that kind of motivations from anyone. So yea a thing to consider and talk about. Maybe it was nothing, but possibly a thing that is taking us to dangerous waters.
I guess that is a summary of our situation. I might write about more details about many things, but if anyone feels like they want more answers or information I'm happy to write and chat. So what next. My forum/chat friend suggested me to start taking steps to feel and be her husband again. And first thing I feel I should start having more sex with my wife, in a more regular frequency. I'm really nervous about taking these steps, but feel like I really need to. I know sex with me will not be the fireworks he gives her but we never had bad sex, so yea I'm trying to get back on that horse again and try not to compare myself too much with him. He isn't her husband doesn't share that connection with her, at least I wont be letting it go to that.
Wife was seeing him yesterday on Wednesday. I helped her pick clothes and lingerie for the date on Tuesday evening, and helped her get dressed in the following morning. Hugged and kissed her before she left for work, really took in her scent. And started getting ready to get my head into husband mode and just being ready to claim her when she comes home. SO he picked her up from work and they spent the evening at his place. She came home later in the evening. I greeted her with a passionate kiss straight from the door. Her smell and scent mixed with his and their sweat were intoxicating. I had to explore her body and I carefully undressed her and she sat on the couch while I kissed all over her body and finally she opened her legs and I performed our ritual and ate her out. She stroked my hair and watched me lick and suck her clean. I was rock hard and ready to burst when I was done and I gently pushed her down on her back on the couch and got on top of her kissed her. I finally whispered to her that I'm going to claim her back now and put her hand on my hard on. She was really surprised since I haven't taken this kind of intitiative in along time, and I could see that it wasn't what she thought to be doing tonight being spent and a bit sore, but she seemed to be also genuinely happy about me wanting her. He told me of course but to be gentle since she was a bit sore from earlier tonight. I kept kissing her and I've never wanted her more I was so turned on, I ran my fingers over pussy and she was so wet and swollen, a mixture of his and her juices and my saliva. I was so ready to claim her but I was so freaking excited that when she pulled down my underwear and stroked my dick I couldn't hold my load anymore and I came all over her hand, thighs, and on the couch. I just froze for a second and just mumbled no no no and buried my face between her breasts and felt so embarrassed. She giggled and soothed me saying it's okay and held me there. I could hear and see the pity in her voice and face. In the end it turned to be an intimate moment. She said she was happy I tried and we should try it again. So we just cuddled for the rest of the evening.
Even though I still feel embarrassed about last night, I was happy to see that she was genuinely happy about our trial and wanted to try again. I felt like this was a small step forward. And I hope I can get our physical connection turned up a few notches from what it is now. I hope I can perform better next time, but it's hard to shake off the image of them together and not to compare myself to him. Well, this was my first try, to reclaim her and hopefully I'll get another chance soon amidst all this craziness family life and this life style brings.
Until next time...
