Not a Cuck but GF is dating. Super depressed

[whatevur]

I haven't posted just because not much has happened.
I few weeks ago JoAnn started telling dad she loved him, so I got crushed a bunch of times hearing that. Of course he repeated it back to her.

Other than that I moved back to go to work, so i'm living a distance from her again. We had a great time while it lasted.

She's been getting a lot of messages on FB & social media since changing her status to single.

Dad has ramped up his game a bit, and I can't really do much to compete.
Since the beauty places opened back up, dad has set JoAnn up apointments every 2 weeks to get her nails & hair done along with whatever skin spa & body scrub stuff she wants.

He's also sending her flowers once a week.

I've started trying that stuff too, but I have to do it discretely. I've asked Andrea to help me by delivering flowers & chocolates occasionally. We're also going to do this thing were we send a letter to each other every day. I'm not a good writer but I hope this can bring us closer.

I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and wait to hear from him again. I'm hoping that next time he writes its to report that JoAnn has spent the night and chose to sleep in Dad's bed.

Even though JoAnns parents approve of my dad, they are still very protective of her and demand a strict curfew. She hasn't done anything sexual with him either i'm sure.

Sorry but I'm not convinced this is a story written by a young man and his girlfriend.

I've only read the first installment and haven't read the others but I'm getting the impression this is written by an older man who is into incest.

I would suggest you perhaps fill in your families background a bit because we don't learn much about your mother at all.

I was going to finish this off with "I could be wrong" but nope. It just reads implausible.

You haven't even read the rest why even reply? I don't know how you people expect me to come back and update you when half of you keep putting me down and claiming im fake. I may just have to start a genuine blog to get away from this toxicity.

Oh Brother. Did anyone here believe this story? Seriously! I think this kid was trying to put one by you. There are so many holes in this you could drive a tank thru it or the boy is seriously delusional and needs help.
Let's see, a dose of reality
She is 18 and he is 19 and they started dating 6 years ago which would have made her 12 and him 13. He believes he is in a relationship with her.
He gets pissed when she develops relationships with girls out side of what he see sees as exclusive. Sounds controlling to me.
He moves 30- 40 minutes away to go to college and gets a local job.
Quote:
"To make matters worse, JoAnn doesn't have a drivers license or have a car. She was never really interested in driving but she took the test a few times and failed so she gave up".
How unfortunate. It's JoAnn's fault! The bitch!
"That means any time I want to hang out with her I have to drive home to go get her".
Poor baby! So you have a car. But you have to drive 30- 40 minuets to see her. I drive 40 minuets every day to go to work. And another 40 minutes to come back to be with my wife. Grow up!
So the only solution to the problem is not for Dad to drive JoAnn 30 to 40 minuets away so that she can be with his son, it is for Dad to date her. Of course! The only logical solution.
Her bitch friends encourage him to dump her so that she can be with his dad and isn't life wonderful. Ya right. Most teens I know would have went YUCK. She is dating an old guy.
So due to the corona virus he takes the long trip home (30 to 40 minutes away) realizes his girlfriend and his dad are in a serious relationship.
His dad is not fucking his girlfriend because he is counting the condoms. But somehow he knows his dad is offering her cigarettes' even though neither smoke. Must have been French cigarettes' Gauloises.
Seriously!
Now that he is home and his dad is cuddling and has control over his girlfriend well there is nothing he can do but jerk off. Give me a break,

Wow man calm down. I know its a messed up situation thats why I wanted to vent here. You dont have to be a butthole.

I think you have to assume that whatever Andrea is saying, is coming from Joann. asking to change facebook statuses? immature way to say youre dumped. i'd put "its complicated" anyways...heck, even until youre married.

As for the cigarettes, kind of weird. likely 2 things: either your dad has a smoking fetish (google, a lot of people do), or its part of how he wants to get her to let out the inner "bad-girl" in her, most likely to release her sexually uninhibitted side. maybe in time she will do the same with you.
I'd recommend you watch the movie "Swingers"...you come across like the Jon Favreau character. Check it out, maybe take some cues. I think if you want to keep/get this girl back, youre going to have to become more mature, quickly. be more HBO, less Disney.

If this covid stuff wasnt going on, I'd suggest you think of the sluttiest girl within your circle of friends (both you and Joann/Andrea know her), and hang around her. A lot. and publicly so J&A know. The slutty girl is now the most interesting girl in the world to you, it would appear. You dont have to do anything with this girl, people will assume you are, or you at least have enough testosterone in you to want to try to.
See how joann responds...is she happy for you (in which case, move on emotionally from her, its over, she outgrew you and you missed the cues, shes relieved and liberated that she doesnt have to break your heart and do her own thing), is she jealous or find you more attractive (explore that maybe shes revealed what will make you more attractive to her).
tough to do these days though.
but whatever youre doing isn't working.

Thanks for the advice. I would prefer the 'its complicated' route. I'll suggest it to her.
Idk about the cigarettes but I HATE everything about them I hate the smell, they are so gross etc. Like you and msbevw said above The control/inner 'bad girl' makes sense. I can see how that would lead to being more open down the road. I hope not.

I don't know how to become more mature. Nor do I know if it will help. I am who I am. I feel like I'm more mature than most people in general. I've got a job and am working toward a future. I don't drink or do any drugs and I pay my bills on time. Short of growing a gandalf beard or working out a bunch I dont know what to do.

I'll think about another girl just to test JoAnn. I wouldn't want to hurt her though or do anything to joapordize my progress.

Thanks for writing and updating us. In today's world we are all looking for distractions, thus we come to this site. We appreciate you providing insights into your life and sharing you thoughts and feelings while seeking advice and input.
It's not unusual that Joann is developing strong feelings and ties to your father. And while accepting it is difficult, it is something you must do in order to stay close to Joann, otherwise if she sees your resistance to her relationship with your father, she will turn her back on you.
As Custer said, the cigarettes are bad and should be avoided. Joann is doing a good job with this and your father should quit pushing it. It is probably a controlling move on his part.. get her to give in to smoking and he has taken the first step to getting her to give in to sex. And that brings up their getting together behind closed doors to have private intimate time together. Being in the bedroom it must be assumed that their makeout time is being done on the bed, which then one can assume that more than just kissing is going on. Laying on the bed making out leads to touching, mutual or with one partner leading the way. Do you think that clothes are being removed while they are alone and together. I would image so. And that kind of intimacy develops into love between them. The more time they spend behind closed doors, the more intimate bond and love will develop between them, and there's nothing you can do about that.
Be thankful that you are there to see them together. You being there is probably slowing this relationship down some. If you weren't there, Joann would be joining your father in bed much soon. And you know it's going to happen. The closed door makeout sessions are already progressing further, you just don't know to what extent it has progressed. and I'm not sure Joann will tell you what is taking place. In your heart you know that they are doing more than just kissing.
Are you getting used to watching them kiss and be intimate in front of you? The more accepting you are of it, the more it will be out in the open and not behind closed bedroom doors.

The fartheest she told me they went is just making out on the bed, and he has touched and felt around her (not her breasts or crotch though, according to her) just touching eachothers body in general not really sexual. She says he kinda humps her when they do this.
I believe her when she says thats all they have done. I have tried to listen close and look though the keyhole but I don't really ever hear or see anything.

I think my presence has slowed their progress, but of course now Im living back at my place so I'm afraid of the future.

I did see them kiss but usually when they kissed around me it was just a quick peck. They hug and hold hands and bump against eachother around the house though. TBH the hardest thing to see is when they go for a walk and hold hands along the way for everyone to see.

Thanks for the reply Custer, It's a lot to take in. You seem to have some good insights.

 

[msbevw]

With you not being there all of the time I'm sure your Dad will start stepping up his game. And without her seeing you all of the time she will be tempted to do more also. their intimacy will occur more often and more intense I'm sure. The touching will increase also. I think you should prepare to see big changes in them wien you return home.
Thanks for the update. Good luck to you.

 

[SquirmingSub]

While this story is interesting and possible, why some may be questioning the validity of the story is that the forum as seen two other stories that are very similar in scope to this one. Now with that out there - assuming this is factual, I would agree with @msbevw in that you should prepare to see big changes in them when you return home.

 

[zippless]

I just have problem believing that JoAnn's parents approve of their 17 year old daughter dating a 40 something year old man. Especially since they are deeply religious people. Possible I suppose but really messed up if true.
Glad to see Andrea is now helping you instead of encouraging you to move on. What's up with that? What else has changed?
Hopefully JoAnn stays safe while getting her nails done.
I have changed my tone just incase this story is true and as you say not a good writer. I was just pointing out inconsistencies in your story. In any event some people are having fun with this story so who am I to piss on the parade. Lol

 

[Custer Laststand]

Thanks for the reply Custer. It's a lot to take in. You seem to have some good insights.

You're welcome, Whatevur.

One of my insights is: it's time for you to recognize that "there are a lot of pebbles on the beach" and begin seaching for a new woman.

This is not to suggest that women are actually pebbles, but it is true that women are about half of the population, including those close to your own age. Thus, the idea that "Ms. Joanne is the only woman for you" (if that's how you feel) is simply fallacious.

If you are not Mormon, which I gather is the case, I suggest you seek a woman who is also not a Mormon. Or, if you eventually "win" Ms. Joanne back (a dubious prize), or attract some other woman who is a Mormon, be prepared to face a lot of pressure to become Mormon yourself and / or (probably "and") raise your children as Mormons.

Since you obviously have a computer and know how to use it, you might consider expanding your search for a new woman beyond those you actually know, at present, and going online with your search for a new woman friend.

 

[msbevw]

Anything new going on with Joanne?

 

[Roxxxnboxxx]

hopefully she's getting quality time on dad …

 

[HappyFace]

If this story is true. It’s only a matter of time before it progresses to something more than just light touching.

 

[Roxxxnboxxx]

shes probably been fucking all weekend ..

 

[msbevw]

it's been a couple of weeks since your last update. Anything to share?

 

[Roxxxnboxxx]

besides your girl friend with your dad...

 

[whatevur]

Okay a few things have happened.

Last week I was surprised when I logged into Facebook and at the top of my feed was of JoAnn "in a relationship with (my dad)" Along with a few pictures posted.

WOW. What a shock. I knew this was coming but I thought it would take a bit longer. I thought she would talk to me about it first. I couldn't concentrate all day and kept checking the comments to it on my phone. Her friends & family were commenting like crazy.
I cant describe how I feel about this other than bad. I mean they were somewhat public before, but now EVERYONE knows that they are together.

And I have to say the comments really bummed me. EVERYONE supporting them. EVERYONE asking questions about how they got together, who he is, when will you get married etc... Basically like I was never even there. NOBODY called or messaged me asking what happened between her and I.

It feels really 'final' you know? I know you guys are warning me about this telling me she's dumped me etc. Maybe its true, but I'm still going to hang in there. I don't know what else to do. I hate the thought of us not being together in the long-term. I tried to take some of your advice to date another girl, if even to make JoAnn jealous. I tried the online dating thing and swiped like crazy and messaged lots of girls on other sites. I didn't even get 1 reply or match. It hurt my ego. It felt so wrong too like I'm cheating on her.


I met with JoAnn a few days later to talk everything through. Mostly I needed to figure out what our relationship was in all this at this point.
We talked a long time and cried a lot. I told her I didn't want her to worry about my feelings, just be truthful. She asked for the same from me.

I told her that I feel like were not together anymore. That we're just friends now. I asked her if that's what we are.
She said we're more than that. She re-iterated our long-term plan to get married. She said she wasn't really sure what to call 'us' right now. Basically ma dad is her boyfriend. Where does that put me? i asked. She said she wasn't sure.

I asked if she also considers me to be her 'boyfriend'. She says technically not. I said I don't want technically, I want what you honestly think about me and our relationship. She said no, she doesn't see me as her boyfriend anymore.

I asked if she thinks we are 'in a relationship' she said no, we're not 'together' anymore.

I cried and said that means we're broke up then? She also started crying and she said no.

I said her dating my dad was just supposed to be a temparary thing to ease her boredom. It wasn't supposed to go this far.

She kept saying "I love you" through all this.

I asked again what we were then if we're not together and not in a relationship. I told her it looks a lot to me like we're broken up.

She said she didnt know. All she knows is that she loves me and loves my dad and even though she and I aren't officially together she will eventually marry me. I asked how she would do that if shes in love with dad. She would have to break up with him eventually. She didn't know that either. Just said that we would find a way.

I asked her if she would break up with my dad if I asked her to. She broke down and cried hard but said she yes.
I hugged her and we calmed down.

We talked a bit more when we were calm.
Basically, the answer to my question of what our relationship is is this:
For all intents and purposes, we are broke up. She denied calling it that but eventually conceded that it is the case.
She said that I'm her "best guy-friend that I will eventually marry"
She says she doesn't want this to affect our relationship though. She still wants to talk to me a lot and we'll still plan on getting married. She also wants me to stay exclusive to her.

We talked a bit about other things and then laughed and had fun a bit.
We joked about how i'm in the 'friend-zone' now.

We got serious again for a bit and she thanked me for letting her be with my dad.
I told her that even though I hate that they are dating, that I support them.

I had got a text from Andrea earlier saying that she had seen JoAnns Facebook Relationship status change (which she commented a congratulation on). She told me that I should congratulate them also.

So I figured this was a good way to show support. I got my phone out, typed "Congratulations to you both. I'm happy for you" and showed her the comment. She kissed me on the cheek and thanked me.


Anyway, the 'public' stuff doesn't end there.
We went to a restaurant to eat and the waitress who took our order gave us a funny look. JoAnn then said "this is my FRIEND" with a bit emphasis. that confused me, but then the waitress asked "How's your boyfriend doing?"
I sat in stunned silence as they chit-chatted about how she (the waitress) went to school with my dad and how she thinks they make a cute couple.


AND THEN
Here today, or yesterday I guess by now, on Saturday. Dad, JoAnn, and I went to see my Grandmother. She's never met JoAnn, so when we all came in the door I introduced her to JoAnn and grandma said something along the lines of "how long have you been together?" I stammered around for a few seconds but then said "actually JoAnn is DADS girlfriend".

It was REALLY hard and SUPER weird to say that out loud in front of people.

She looked surprised and then teased dad about getting such a young girl. She also teased me about not having a girlfriend like JoAnn and just generally teased and even made a few somewhat vulgar jokes about sex between JoAnn and dad (she's always like that she doesn't have a filter).


It's really hard being around them and seeing them together as a couple. They hold hands, they sit next to eachother, they whisper to eachother. He poked at her food on the plate. Even the way they look at eachother while talking or when asked a question. Its so depressing because its so natural. They are together as a couple and everything that I see is evidence of that. Evidence that she is with dad instead of me. It hurts so much.

Then grandma said grace and asked god to bless their relationship. I wanted to add "and help them stay chaste", but she added "give them lots of little ones". I COULDN'T say amen. I heard JoAnn say it though and that stung.



So the TL;DR is that JoAnn went public with FB that she's with my dad. I talked with her and we came to the agreement that we are not really 'together' anymore, even though we both love eachother and plan on marriage in the future.

 

[msbevw]

sounds like JoAnn is happy and content with your father. Did you inquire into what their sexual relationship is now? I'm sure that has progressed as well. Is JoAnn on the pill or is she leaving birth control up to your father and his condoms?

 

[msbevw]

JoAnn and your dad are now officially a couple and people are recognizing them as one. As JoAnn said, she is in a relationship, but it's with your dad, not you. She is his now, and tough as it is, you need to accept that. Your grandma and her parents know it now so there is no turning back. If it were ever to end, your family and hers will blame you for breaking them up.
I am willing to guess that JoAnn will stop sharing as much about what she and your father do from now on. She will want to keep their intimacy between them and you won't know when they have sex. My guess is that they already have had sex but she doesn't want to tell you.
i hope you will continue your posting here but chances are you will have less and less to post because you will be push aside more and more.

 

[msbevw]

Anything happen in the last 2 weeks?

 

[SheDontLikeIdea]

Wow....Heavy duty stuff there....So much to say....So much to ask.

 

[msbevw]

Hey, it's been nearly 3 weeks. You must have something new to tell us. Are they together daily? Is she sleeping over yet? Your loyal fans await....

 

[msbevw]

Almost a month has gone by. Surely there is something to report. Or is this story dead?

 

[SquirmingSub]

Almost a month has gone by. Surely there is something to report. Or is this story dead?

When these post come to an end like this ones seems to, something either went very wrong or the OP lost interest in the thread.

 

[whatevur]

I've been talking with JoAnn a lot. I've also been going to see her frequently.

Andrea has still been helping me and coaching me through this. She told me that In regular conversation I should start referring to Joann as 'dads girlfriend' or 'his girlfriend' more, and dad as 'Joann's boyfriend' or 'her boyfriend'. I don't really like that, but i'm still trying to accept the situation so that's what I'm going to try to do from now on.
Andrea has also suggested that I start calling JoAnn "mom". I told her no. That's just too weird for me.


Joann recently got a job at a grocery store, so her boyfriend has been driving her to work everyday. In a way that bothers me more than her going to see him at home. Not sure why.

As far as sexuality goes, Joann told me that dad has really been trying to bed her. At this point they make out frequently and according to Joann they grope eachother. He's tried to kiss down her body to her pussy, but she stopped him.

They've had long talks/discussions where she's told him that she is waiting for marriage to have sex. He says he's not ready to go that far, but warned that he's getting frustrated and apparently he's threatened to end the relationship if they don't do it soon. Obviously JoAnn is upset by this.

I told her that I'm totally against them having sex. But I also realise at this point that I don't have much say (since we're not officially together anymore).

Truthfully I'm happy at this turn of events. If all goes well she will hold out and dad will break up with her from lack of sex.

All JoAnns girlfriend are causing trouble though, including Andrea, because they suggested a compromise of having anal sex. Since JoAnn is trying to preserve her virginity, then Anal sex is an alternative because it isnt "real sex". Obviously i'm completely against this. As far as I'm concerned Anal sex is still sex.

As far as the relationship between JoAnn and me, we still talk all the time and I try to hug and cuddle with her whenever we are together and alone. That isn't very often though. We've kinda stopped kissing though. I love to kiss her but she's with my dad so much and makes out with him so much that the thought of kissing the same lips that kiss his just grosses me out. And it never seems like i can kiss her when shes 'fresh'. Most of the time i see her she's just been with dad or just snuck away from being with him.

Besides intimacy, the relationship between JoAnn & her boyfriend (my dad) seems pretty good. They go out frequently. They also go out with her friends an on "double dates" and such. Her friends really like him and he seems to like going out with the group.


I got ups and downs about this whole situation. I used to go onto FB or other social media sites and it was one of my favorite things to do to go to JoAnns profile and look through her pictures. She's just so pretty. But now, every time I go there i'm met with pictures of her & dad and it just makes me feel bad. Same with when I open my phone. Andrea made me put a picture of JoAnn & Dad on my phone & computer backgrounds.

I guess thats about all I have to report.