First off, I love this forum. I have been reading the boards for around a week now and have enjoyed myself immensely. The posters seem to be genuine and the spam is non-existent. Kudos to the administrators and mods!
Let me again start off by apologizing for any cluttered writing or rambling as I only worked up enough courage to post this under the influence of about 6 beers and 48 hours without sexual interaction.
I am a 24 year old straight male grad student who is marrying his girlfriend of 5 1/2 years in 2 months. I am here because I have a fetish for cuckolding or hotwifing, I suppose. I enjoy porn and reading stories about men watching or knowingly allowing their woman to have sex with another man. I don't really understand why I have this fetish, I just know that I do.
I am mainly writing this for some advice. Not in the sense that I need guidance, but more so in the sense that I am wondering if my situation relates to anyone else on here. I am essentially looking for answers as I am confused by my fetish as I will explain later.
Background
I met my fiance when we were both 18, at a local college enrollment orientation. I was smitten with her at first sight and asked her out. We started dating and have been together ever since. She was a virgin when we first met, and I took her virginity. She's never been with another man besides myself. I on the other hand was with one girl before her, of which I believe cheated on me although she never admitted it nor could I prove it. I proposed to her 6 months ago. We've been exclusive since we began dating, and have sex regularly. We experience patches where she abstains from sex because of fear of pregnancy and religious reasons. She's currently on birth control and we've been having sex regularly.
Sex-Life
I am not a fit guy. I've struggled with weight all my life and have always been self-conscious of it. I am 5'10" and 210 lbs. I'm not exactly fat, but I am not fit either. I used to weigh around 260 a few years ago and then got down to 190. I'm back up 20 lbs but am working again to get back to where I want to be. All of that said, I am chunky, but not obese.
As for my endowment, I am almost at 6 inches and slightly below average girth when erect. I don't feel that small by any means but my tendency towards porn (especially at a young age) has left me self-conscious about my size which has led to bouts of premature ejaculation during intercourse. I can last for very long amounts of time except when I penetrate my fiance, of which I find myself ejaculating quicker than I want to.
It does not help that my fiance is very vocal about her frustrations when this occurs. She is a very strong, passionate woman who knows what she wants and does what she can to get what she wants. There are many times during sex that after we are through she sighs and grabs a personal massager to finish the job. There are also instances of which I penetrate my fiance and she asks if I am even in her. I know that I am not of god-given size, but I am not as small as some men are and find this frustrating and demoralizing.
Introduction to the Kink
I have always been a fan of porn. Ever since I discovered masturbation, porn has been accessible to me. It probably borders on addiction as I find myself seeking porn even when I've been sexually satisfied from intercourse or a blowjob a few hours before. I don't watch porn everyday, but probably on average every other day.
I discovered cuckolding/hotwiving/wife sharing about a year ago when a porn site I frequent had a "Please Bang My Wife" video on its featured list. I watched this video and was appalled but utterly arroused. The way the woman, even though she was an actress, looked at her husband as she fucked another man drove me crazy. I began seeking out "wife" porn videos, and eventually discovered 'Cuckolding" porn.
For the record, I find myself to be turned on most by porn of which the husband is supportive of the wife in her endeavors and enjoys watching her escapades. I have gotten off to porn dealing with interracial dealings, as well as revenge cuckolding.
I find myself most aroused by porn when there is another man in the video watching the woman who is acting as his wife.
All of this said, I have tried to masturbate to my fiance with another man. I did buy her a dildo that measures 8 inches and is really thick. We used it once, and she won't use it again as she said it hurt her. Although I don't visually picture her with another man when I watch these scenarios, I end up searching websites like this seeking out the psychology of the men who allow their wives to live this lifestyle.
Final Thoughts
My feeling of inadequacy in the bedroom is most likely leading me to this fetish, but I have found myself obsessed with the thought of hotwives stepping out on their husband. I am turned on by the thought of a bigger dick penetrating a woman I could potentially mate with. I imagine this is the evolutionary testosterone talking in my mind, but I still find it intoxicating to fathom.
I am not for certain if I am meant for this lifestyle or if my fiance is for that matter. Her willingness is a whole other subject altogether.
I mainly wrote this post for some feedback as to whether or not some of you could decipher my angst or lust I am feeling. Keep in mind that I have never had a visual image of my fiance with another man but I instead focus on her experiencing immense pleasure.
My ultimate fantasy I suppose is to give her the best pleasure that she can ever experience and I guess that my self-awareness in the my sexual inadequacies has led to this fetish.
Any thoughts, feedback, flame, or suggestions anyone could give is much appreciated.
Thank you.
Let me again start off by apologizing for any cluttered writing or rambling as I only worked up enough courage to post this under the influence of about 6 beers and 48 hours without sexual interaction.
I am a 24 year old straight male grad student who is marrying his girlfriend of 5 1/2 years in 2 months. I am here because I have a fetish for cuckolding or hotwifing, I suppose. I enjoy porn and reading stories about men watching or knowingly allowing their woman to have sex with another man. I don't really understand why I have this fetish, I just know that I do.
I am mainly writing this for some advice. Not in the sense that I need guidance, but more so in the sense that I am wondering if my situation relates to anyone else on here. I am essentially looking for answers as I am confused by my fetish as I will explain later.
Background
I met my fiance when we were both 18, at a local college enrollment orientation. I was smitten with her at first sight and asked her out. We started dating and have been together ever since. She was a virgin when we first met, and I took her virginity. She's never been with another man besides myself. I on the other hand was with one girl before her, of which I believe cheated on me although she never admitted it nor could I prove it. I proposed to her 6 months ago. We've been exclusive since we began dating, and have sex regularly. We experience patches where she abstains from sex because of fear of pregnancy and religious reasons. She's currently on birth control and we've been having sex regularly.
Sex-Life
I am not a fit guy. I've struggled with weight all my life and have always been self-conscious of it. I am 5'10" and 210 lbs. I'm not exactly fat, but I am not fit either. I used to weigh around 260 a few years ago and then got down to 190. I'm back up 20 lbs but am working again to get back to where I want to be. All of that said, I am chunky, but not obese.
As for my endowment, I am almost at 6 inches and slightly below average girth when erect. I don't feel that small by any means but my tendency towards porn (especially at a young age) has left me self-conscious about my size which has led to bouts of premature ejaculation during intercourse. I can last for very long amounts of time except when I penetrate my fiance, of which I find myself ejaculating quicker than I want to.
It does not help that my fiance is very vocal about her frustrations when this occurs. She is a very strong, passionate woman who knows what she wants and does what she can to get what she wants. There are many times during sex that after we are through she sighs and grabs a personal massager to finish the job. There are also instances of which I penetrate my fiance and she asks if I am even in her. I know that I am not of god-given size, but I am not as small as some men are and find this frustrating and demoralizing.
Introduction to the Kink
I have always been a fan of porn. Ever since I discovered masturbation, porn has been accessible to me. It probably borders on addiction as I find myself seeking porn even when I've been sexually satisfied from intercourse or a blowjob a few hours before. I don't watch porn everyday, but probably on average every other day.
I discovered cuckolding/hotwiving/wife sharing about a year ago when a porn site I frequent had a "Please Bang My Wife" video on its featured list. I watched this video and was appalled but utterly arroused. The way the woman, even though she was an actress, looked at her husband as she fucked another man drove me crazy. I began seeking out "wife" porn videos, and eventually discovered 'Cuckolding" porn.
For the record, I find myself to be turned on most by porn of which the husband is supportive of the wife in her endeavors and enjoys watching her escapades. I have gotten off to porn dealing with interracial dealings, as well as revenge cuckolding.
I find myself most aroused by porn when there is another man in the video watching the woman who is acting as his wife.
All of this said, I have tried to masturbate to my fiance with another man. I did buy her a dildo that measures 8 inches and is really thick. We used it once, and she won't use it again as she said it hurt her. Although I don't visually picture her with another man when I watch these scenarios, I end up searching websites like this seeking out the psychology of the men who allow their wives to live this lifestyle.
Final Thoughts
My feeling of inadequacy in the bedroom is most likely leading me to this fetish, but I have found myself obsessed with the thought of hotwives stepping out on their husband. I am turned on by the thought of a bigger dick penetrating a woman I could potentially mate with. I imagine this is the evolutionary testosterone talking in my mind, but I still find it intoxicating to fathom.
I am not for certain if I am meant for this lifestyle or if my fiance is for that matter. Her willingness is a whole other subject altogether.
I mainly wrote this post for some feedback as to whether or not some of you could decipher my angst or lust I am feeling. Keep in mind that I have never had a visual image of my fiance with another man but I instead focus on her experiencing immense pleasure.
My ultimate fantasy I suppose is to give her the best pleasure that she can ever experience and I guess that my self-awareness in the my sexual inadequacies has led to this fetish.
Any thoughts, feedback, flame, or suggestions anyone could give is much appreciated.
Thank you.