Hi Ms. Missie,
Missie said:
This is an update. It has been a while since I have updated here.
Thanks. I think I remember your previous thread, but it would be helpful if you would fill us (the forum) in re. your situation over time. Your current post does not provide any hints.
Missie said:
Good for you! Congratulations!
Missie said:
I am excited by this relationship, but afraid it might put an end to my marriage.
Hm... that doesn't sound desirable (unless it's the outcome you want).
As I recall, in your previous thread you said you and your husband are white, your lover at that time was a black man, and your husband was OK with that. You posted because you were planning to invite your lover to your home for dinner, and introduce him to your daughter. There were some questions from forum members as to whether your daughter was of legal age (18, or whatever it is in your area). You said she was, after which there was a variety of other comments.
You then invited your lover to your home for dinner (your husband was also home), and your lover then spent the night with both you and your daughter. As I recall, you described it as a satisfying experience. Then, we heard nothing further from you.
Do I have it right, or am I remembering someone else's thread...? Please let us know.
Missie said:
I do have the house fully in my name.
Good. That's very wise...
Missie said:
I want to know if there are husbands out there who have lost their wives, and their reactions.
Yes, of course. There are lots of us; we're called divorced men. And, it isn't unusual for the woman to end up with the house, whether or not it's in her name. In U.S. "no fault divorce" states (most or all U.S. states, I gather), the couple divides their net worth 50 / 50. This would include the house, regardless of whose name it's in, if income earned by both you and your husband was used to pay off the mortgage.
If you owned your house prior to marrying your husband, and retained it in your name throughout your marriage, presumably you would continue to retain your house after divorce — unless a substantial fraction of the mortgage was paid off with your husband's income. In that case, your house would presumably figure into the divorce settlement. Unless, that is, your divorce is uncontested, in which case you and your husband might agree that you will retain the house.
[Please note, however, I'm not an attorney. To obtain good answers to questions along these lines, you will need to consult an attorney licensed to practice law in the area you live in.]
Missie said:
Do you think my husband would enjoy only being able to visit his children and me once in a while?
You'll have to ask him that question.
Missie said:
Would he be happy to know I only want this other man's touch? —Missie
I'll interpret this question as meaning: do I (and/or other forum members) think your husband would not want a divorce, and be happy knowing that you have a lover (to put it more bluntly, that you're fucking another man and want to continue doing so), if you were to tell him you really love only him, and your desires for other men are only because you need more sex than your husband can provide...?
If that's your question, I can't answer it because you haven't told us anything about your husband. You'll need to fill us in as to the nature of his personality, how the two relate to each other, etc.
I'll look forward to reading the necessary background, if you're willing to expand your thread.
—Custer
