Myths about cheating

[AngleBaby]

Myths of Infidelity | Psychology Today

I took special note of how the spouse can prevent intimacy returning to the relationship through very small things.

 

[desert]

That's interesting !!

 

[AngleBaby]

I think a lot of cuckolds who try to reverse the relationship run into the wife who doesn't want to and does those small things to prevent intimacy.

The dev story comes to mind when I read that article.

 

[mimi27406]

Is it cheating if the spouse knows?

 

[Slowrimmer]

Hi,

I'm very new here so can't presume to add much in the way of enlightenment, esp as theres some very well thought out stuff on this site in general.

I only really have my own (as many/most of us) thoughts and experiences to draw on when trying to explain cheating and the desire for cuckoldry in general.

In my marriage we've both had affairs. For me it was because I'm selfish and urges overide commen sense at times. You know, you want to try something new, theres an opportunity and your brain tells you u can get away with it, even when u know u probably cant ..... lol

And as for cuckoldry, well I guess reading further into it my desire to see my wife taking charge of her own sexuality and doing things purely for enjoyment is a big part of it.

B

 

[carina_halerose]

mimi ... that's been a point I've mentioned several times here in the forums over the past few years. A year or so ago we actually had a long, thread going on this very subject. The question was, " Are you a real cuckold if you are encouraging your spouse to have sex with other men ?"

There were a lot of good points made for both sides of the question. My point, with many others who said NO, was based off the old, original definition of cuckolding, which included cheating in its definition. It would be more hotwifing when the husband encouraged his spouse to have sex with other men. Someone even came up with the old English word, wittol ... which actually was appropriate, I thought.

However, there were those that said YES, because the wife was violating her marriage vows, etc +, the definition of cuckolding had taken on a broader definition since its origination. I couldn't argue with that, because it has.

So, I think we decided to just let it lay dormant, for the next generation of cuckolds.com members to readdress ... LOL! Personally, I don't like redefining well established words, but kids, these days do it all the time. Sometimes I can't even understand my daughter's cellphone conversations with her friends. Now its texting ... crap! Mac

Not sure where ''hotwifing'' came from, it appears to me to have come from the world of porn. Only definition of hotwife I could find was in Wikipedia and we all know how accurate they can be. Talk about a made up word. True cuckolding is cheating and I am not sure there are many relationships out there that could survive cheating for long. The meaning of cuckolding has change over the years, just as other words meaning have changed from the strict definition. If the man is going out and finding the men for his wife to have sex with then I do not think it would fall into a cuckold relationship. It would be more of a hotwife sort of thing. Hotwife is a term I truly do not like. My wife does see other people, she asked for this freedom and I gave it to her. She finds her own partners to be with.

The above statement are just my thoughts.

 

[4julie]

Cuckolds accept their wives cheating

Not sure where ''hotwifing'' came from, it appears to me to have come from the world of porn. Only definition of hotwife I could find was in Wikipedia and we all know how accurate they can be. Talk about a made up word. True cuckolding is cheating and I am not sure there are many relationships out there that could survive cheating for long. The meaning of cuckolding has change over the years, just as other words meaning have changed from the strict definition. If the man is going out and finding the men for his wife to have sex with then I do not think it would fall into a cuckold relationship. It would be more of a hotwife sort of thing. Hotwife is a term I truly do not like. My wife does see other people, she asked for this freedom and I gave it to her. She finds her own partners to be with.

The above statement are just my thoughts.

My wife was cuckolding me in secret for 5 years before I found out, in many ways she is still cuckolding me as she always did except now I know she's doing it and occasionally I'm invited to see and be reminded why she needs to cuckold me. It took a few years and much therapy for me to get to the point where I accepted my sexual role in our marriage is one solely of cuckold. To me the difference between a cuckoldress and a Hotwife is one of control and power. A Hotwife is usually doing it for the benefit of the husband and most if not all her encountered are arranged and orchestrated by the husband. Cuckolds like me have no say or control in the sexual aspects of our marriage. My wife fucks who she wants whenever she wants and I have NO say, none whatsoever in her sex life.
One of the most humiliating aspects of being a true Cuckold is when your wife is fucking a man you truly detest and even though she knows your feelings she still does him and he boasts to you and his friends that he's doing your wife and even worse if he knows you've begged her to stop fucking him and he taunts you all the more about how pathetic you are.

Just my two cents worth on being a Cuckold, where a cheating and sexually permissive wife IS allowed to be totally unchaste because I either accept her infidelities or lose her.

 

[Miss D]

In My opinion, it is best for everyone concerned if cucky knows when he is being cuckolded. That doesn't mean he should necessarily know all the details or even any of the details, but he should know he was cuckolded yet again. Why? Because when he knows each and every time, there can be no doubt about what his status is and it doesn't, in any way, detract from his wife's pleasure. She is free to announce, "I have a date tonight" or mention in passing "I got totally fucked today during lunch." It becomes quite natural for her to share this with her cucky. The more natural it becomes, the more cucky realizes his true condition - somewhat like the girlfriend you can confide anything to. In such a situation, how long can it be before cucky is wearing panties and accepting his (her) role? How long will it be before cucky begins to beg for cuckolding just to feel that intense excitement that comes with being kept in panties while the wife is free to pursue sex with a real man (men).

 

[4julie]

Yes but knowledge can be retrospective

In My opinion, it is best for everyone concerned if cucky knows when he is being cuckolded. That doesn't mean he should necessarily know all the details or even any of the details, but he should know he was cuckolded yet again. Why? Because when he knows each and every time, there can be no doubt about what his status is and it doesn't, in any way, detract from his wife's pleasure. She is free to announce, "I have a date tonight" or mention in passing "I got totally fucked today during lunch." It becomes quite natural for her to share this with her cucky. The more natural it becomes, the more cucky realizes his true condition - somewhat like the girlfriend you can confide anything to. In such a situation, how long can it be before cucky is wearing panties and accepting his (her) role? How long will it be before cucky begins to beg for cuckolding just to feel that intense excitement that comes with being kept in panties while the wife is free to pursue sex with a real man (men).

I would agree and even note that you mention some element of retrospection in your comments, "I got totally fucked today during lunch." It is so hot to hear my wife tell me that or her to walk in from 'working late', lift her skirt and show me her freshly fucked pussy and tell me to clean her.

There can be other elements of leaving information to more opportune times, or just telling some details and leaving others not said .... for a time. But also just knowing she's fucking someone wihtout any knowledge of who when or where leaves a cuckold knowing his place more than a LOT of information.

Recently I knew my wife was fucking a co-worker but not who he was. We attended our black-tie Christmas dinner and as we meeting and greeting folks, just as this man and his wife approached us, my wife whispered in my ear, of this is the guy who's doing me at lunch times. Of course this totally threw me and I was blurking out half sentences, he of course knew why I was so tongue-tied, much to my wife's amusement. On other occasions my wife will save the knowledge of a date and tell me when some of her best freinds are present, so they all see what a cuckold I am and she comes off as the strong sexual woman. This has even been to the point of her dropping her cum stained panties and goading me into licking her leaking cunt for all their amusement.

Of course you are exactly right Miss D, she is the one in control and I have to submit to her superiority or lose her, she knows it, she likes to frequently remind me, in private and in front of others, you're also right that often in doing so it makes me cream my little panties, at the suggestion of Saraha, my wife has me wearing panties daily.

 

[CuckoldMick]

I have to confess that it is a major turn on for me when my wife makes her own arrangements to see her BFs, though I resist admitting my covert feelings to myself and my wife. Few things have turned me on more than when my wife calls me at work after the fact to tell me that she has just gotten pounded by one of her studs while I was sitting in my office *******. Last summer she called me at the office and told me she had just finished giving one of her friends a blowjob and had swallowed for him--- all the while I was working away completely *******. On one level I want to be disturbed when my wife does this--- but what I actually experience is intense sexual arousal, mixed with submissive feelings, salt and peppered with a bit of humiliation and anxiousness. Her phone call that day, telling me casually that she had just sucked this guy’s cock, gave me a hard on at work that sent me to the men’s room to calm down…lol.

 

[cuckadoodledo]

MsAngelbaby, Ma'am if you don't mind may i ask a question? Ma'am where are you located? Ma'am the reason i ask this question....is that i briefly served an amazing dominant lady...in upstate SC with a very similar name. Ma'am she was the sweetest most interesting dominant lady i've ever met and i lost contact with her several yrs ago when she moved.

 

[mimi27406]

Hard to admit

I wish to take a little different direction here, but still on target. Marriage, with its archaic vows, is what is out of place. In practicality males have always sought and had as many sexual partners as he could afford. Now the Goddess/Mistress female is demanding their place in the sun. Women are becoming the dominant sex, because males have failed. The marriage contract should be rewritten, and once two persons seek to form a partnership, an the license to form a partnership is issued, an agreement to suit those two, or more persons, should be construted to accomadate their wishes.

Our departed, for the time being, friend saharha said it best. The female is domanant because only she can bear children. That being said, she should also seek the best of the male, born with a penis, in the physical, mental, and mental attitude to father her children. The inferior male should not be allowed to father any children.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Monogamy is a myth among humans and other pair-bond species.

AngleBaby and other posters:

The article in "Psychology Today" cited by Anglebaby:

Myths of Infidelity | Psychology Today

is deeply flawed. The author's statement:

"Most species of birds and animals in which the male serves some useful function other than sperm donation are inherently monogamous. Humans, like other nest builders, are monogamous by nature, but imperfectly so."

has been shown to be untrue by research based on DNA analysis which has, in fact, shown the opposite. In all pair-bond species the authors studied the females were found to be inherently non-monogamous (i.e., not faithful to their long-term mates). This finding included pair-bond species usually thought of as monogamous such as Swans. The authors found that on average (as I recall), 40% to 70% of the offspring of any given pair-bond couple were sired by a male other than the resident male (in effect, the husband).

Editorial comment: among human couples, a much smaller percentage of offspring are sired, on average, by men other than the woman's long-term partner (e.g., husband), because of birth control (I speculate) and also because human females often copulate when they aren't fertile while the females of other species generally copulate only when they're fertile (I also speculate).

See:

"The Myth of Monogamy: Fidelity and Infidelity in Animals and People,"
by David P. Barash, Ph.D., and Judith Eve Lipton.

This book is available at modest cost via (e.g.) Amazon.com .

A rather detailed review, in the form of a downloadable doc file, can be found here:

www.unm.edu/~hebs/pubs/Miller_2001_MythOfMonogamyReview.doc

See also:

"Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them" by David J. Ley (2009, 291 pp. [hardcover]).

Sorry to throw cold water on the "humans and other pair-bond species are inherently monomagous" myth, but there you have it.

—Custer