Apologies if this reads more like therapy but with nobody to talk this through with I thought it would be useful to track my journey here and hope one day it becomes my wife and I's journey. Maybe you will relate to this, maybe you won't. Maybe you will respect me for being so open, maybe you won't. What I can promise is that all of this is true and I will aim to update it regularly. I hope it helps others out there too.
I am 41, my wife is 37. For a number of years I have had the fantasy of sharing my wife but I do not have the guts to raise it with her. Keeping it inside has been very detrimental.
Our sex life for most of our marriage has been lacklustre in the main and very vanilla. My wife is very shy and introverted about sex. I have always found sex quite stressful which makes me prone to either not getting or not staying hard. Even when I can penetrate her I often cum quickly but she also did so while sex was quick we were both satisfied. As a result, sex has never been wild. After kids I was left frustrated by her low sex drive and sought excitement in porn and wearing my wifes underwear for others online - I didnt see that coming but there you have it.
In lockdown my cuckold desires really took hold. Interestingly, my wifes sex drive increased as she came off some medication. To offset my inconsistent erections I bought a couple of dildos - our first sex toys. She has taken to them well and is happy to have me use them on her. As her sex drive maintained it's new increase I knew I couldn't keep up so I started taking pills to help me get and keep an erection. Generally the nights we have sex are predictable as it involves my wife having a few drinks to relax so I have become good at knowing when to take my pill. The pills gave me confidence and although I am not a natural dom I started pushing things a little with my previous vanilla wife and she responded positively to giving an occasional blowjob, using toys as mentioned, different positions, blindfolds and handcuffs - perhaps not wild for some but a million miles ahead of anything previous for us. However, while I am now able to get hard I still cum quickly, my wife however, nolonger cums quickly. In fact, I have not given her an orgasm through penetration in 3 or 4 years.
My decreasing performance in bed has led me deeper into the cuckold fantasy but has also brought out a bi curious side I never knew was really there. I sometimes use my wifes dildo's on myself and use them to perform online for other men. I am trapped between these bi curious feelings borne from my inadequacy in bed and then trying to be dominant when in bed to give me wife new experiences.
To be honest, its all very tiring!
I know I need to speak to her about it but I am terrified of how she will react. Clearly the above is just the highlights. I am happy to share more if people have an interest either on here or in messages. I plan to update this thread as new sexual experiences happen and maybe overtime it will show some progress or some insights, who knows.....
I am 41, my wife is 37. For a number of years I have had the fantasy of sharing my wife but I do not have the guts to raise it with her. Keeping it inside has been very detrimental.
Our sex life for most of our marriage has been lacklustre in the main and very vanilla. My wife is very shy and introverted about sex. I have always found sex quite stressful which makes me prone to either not getting or not staying hard. Even when I can penetrate her I often cum quickly but she also did so while sex was quick we were both satisfied. As a result, sex has never been wild. After kids I was left frustrated by her low sex drive and sought excitement in porn and wearing my wifes underwear for others online - I didnt see that coming but there you have it.
In lockdown my cuckold desires really took hold. Interestingly, my wifes sex drive increased as she came off some medication. To offset my inconsistent erections I bought a couple of dildos - our first sex toys. She has taken to them well and is happy to have me use them on her. As her sex drive maintained it's new increase I knew I couldn't keep up so I started taking pills to help me get and keep an erection. Generally the nights we have sex are predictable as it involves my wife having a few drinks to relax so I have become good at knowing when to take my pill. The pills gave me confidence and although I am not a natural dom I started pushing things a little with my previous vanilla wife and she responded positively to giving an occasional blowjob, using toys as mentioned, different positions, blindfolds and handcuffs - perhaps not wild for some but a million miles ahead of anything previous for us. However, while I am now able to get hard I still cum quickly, my wife however, nolonger cums quickly. In fact, I have not given her an orgasm through penetration in 3 or 4 years.
My decreasing performance in bed has led me deeper into the cuckold fantasy but has also brought out a bi curious side I never knew was really there. I sometimes use my wifes dildo's on myself and use them to perform online for other men. I am trapped between these bi curious feelings borne from my inadequacy in bed and then trying to be dominant when in bed to give me wife new experiences.
To be honest, its all very tiring!
I know I need to speak to her about it but I am terrified of how she will react. Clearly the above is just the highlights. I am happy to share more if people have an interest either on here or in messages. I plan to update this thread as new sexual experiences happen and maybe overtime it will show some progress or some insights, who knows.....