is my fiancee into black guys?

[curiouschris]

So looking for views and advice.

It may be pre wedding nerves, due to get married in 3 months,but i have just searched interracial cheating on the internet and joined this forum.

My fiancee is an amazing looking girl, works as a promo model and is 24, i'm a bit older.

Recently i have become concerned she may be into screwing around,most likely with a black guy, the reason for this being incidents such as- when on holiday this winter (photo below) she spent lots of time having fun with local black guys, they were with her all the time, she told me just being friendly, in her promo work she works alot at night clubs and sports events, she has told me many times about being hit on at work and guys giving her their number-often black sports or music guys,she is very keen on the gym and has a personal trainer called Mark- a black guy, she is always talking about how fit and confident he is....i could go on.

If i'm honest seeing guys flirt with her is a bit of a turn on, she is always going to get male attention, and its me who is in bed with her at night. I dont know what to do, just leave it, not worry, address it with her or test her out, i was thinking of arranging something social and getting Mark along to see how they act together?

Curious and confused, we all know black guy reputation eg great lovers and good with women etc, i may be just being over sensitive having a very sexy fiancee, just dont know- am doing short poll

Chris (ps my profile pics are her also )

 

[Nazareth]

Yeah, I'd be worried.
No offense, but her tremendous titties are always going to attract attention, whether it's welcomed or not. Guys, no matter the color, will be hitting on her, trying to impress her or woo her.
For now, it may come down to how comfortable you are getting married to her. If you don't mind the possibility of her sharing her body with other men, nothing much may change in your daily life. If you have any hesitation or trepidation, time is running...

 

[curiouschris]

Cheers Naz and to those who have scored poll so far, also joined another cheating wives forum today and went through same details there and 3 or 4 guys all said same ie maybe there is cause to worry and maybe i need to test my concerns out, with her maybe could be a black guy thing specific. Anyway Naz no offence taken ref her body,she is fit and sexy as hell,one of my fav photos below

 

[Custer Laststand]

So, looking for views and advice.

What a hot and strongly-sexual-looking fiancé. Impressive. I'd say you're on your way to becoming her cuckold soon after your marriage, if not on the day of your marriage.

I suggest proposing to her a formal "cuckold husband / hotwife" marriage. See, for instance:

Dr. Cherry Lee on the cuckold husband / hotwife phenomenon:
http colon doubleslash cuckoldcouple dot wordpress dot com slash the-cuckold-phenomena slash

Susan Gower on natural cuckolding of husbands by married women:
http colon doubleslash cuckoldcouple dot wordpress dot com slash the-science-of-cuckoldry

(fill in the indicated punctuation, of course, with no spaces).

Your comments suggest that your fiancé's preference will be to to take a black man as her lover... if not a stable of black lovers... soon after her marriage to you, if she hasn't already done that.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Re. the questions in your poll: I wouldn't worry about it at all.

Re. your question about whether you should include Mark in some sort of get-together involving you and your fiancé: I suggest that would be a good thing to do. Then, give them some space to talk with each other rather than "guarding her" throughout the evening. Even if she pretends she doesn't want to do that, you will be letting her know you aren't threatened by black men being attracted to her, and your fiancé being attraction to black men... him, in particular.

If I'm honest, seeing guys flirt with her is a bit of a turn on.

You're showing the right attitude. This is totally appropriate.. It sounds like you're beginning to take the right view of your relationship with your future wife.

Re. "not knowing what to do:" You should feel proud that such a gorgeous, strongly-sexual woman has agreed to become your wife, despite many other men obviously pursuing her. If you were to read two books published recently by Ms. A. Hathaway:

Hathaway, Alex, 2011, From Housewife to Cuckoldress (Fannypress, Seattle, 109 pp., softcover), and

Hathaway, Alex, 2013, The Education of a Cuckold: A story of love, lust, and fate (Fannypress, Seattle, 175 pp., softcover),

you might find them helpful in preparing for your future as a married man.

 

[anxiousmark]

Chris yes i would be worried if i was you- unless you want to become a black mans cuck and then be happy.
It false for you to expect such a hot woman not to want to have the best sex, the best cock- that will be a black guy.
By all means test out how she would act in a sexual situation with a black guy,support and encourage her and see where it leads.
You have so many reasons to be happy - marriage to a very sexy woman, the fact that soon you will see her being bred by a black guy, life as a supportive cuck for the future.

 

[curiouschris]

Ok guys thanks, so posts this and other forum i am on have both indicated i should push for and support idea of becoming a cuckold, sure i find seeing her being hit on and flirt a sexy turn on but that is not what i'm about ie my focus thinking through how i re-assure myself she has not got a secret desire about going with a black guy before we commit in marriage.



I am not paranoid about this ie reasons stated before why i have concerns and example photo below from our holidays where we went on a booze cruise and after leaving her for a while saw her spend good 30 mins laughing with a black guy she had just met, at one stage the guy put his hand on her ass although yes she did push his hand away.

After thinking and input from forums am going to test her out, in couple of days we are going out with friends to one of the nightclubs she has done promo work at, i know its one of the clubs she claims to get hit on by black guys, also i have pushed her to invite Mark along- the black guy from the gym, my plan is get us there, make sure she has some drinks- alcohol makes her horny as hell and give them some space to see how she interacts with Mark and other black guys in the club. With wedding coming up need to know where i am at and when i talk to her about it she just says i'm being silly. Interesting that when i asked her to invite Mark out on nightclub trip she was really reluctant, dont know if she hiding something or not?

 

[curiouschris]

Ok big night is tomorrow night. Party at club is all confirmed and yes guy from gym- Mark is coming. Will be interesting to see fiancee behaviour after some booze, in party atmosphere,surrounded by loads of black guys and had idea will maybe pretend i get a night time work call,this sometimes happens from our usa office, pretend have to leave club for a while and sneak back in to see whats going on when she thinks i'm not around. Photo below explains what i am fighting for- one of my fav from our holiday,will try make sure she dresses extra sexy tomorrow night. Wish me luck.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Ok guys, thanks...

You're welcome...

.... My focus is, thinking through how I can re-assure myself she does not have a secret desire to be with a black guy before we commit to each other in marriage.

Suppose you conclude your fiancé does, in fact, tend to be attracted to black men (or some black men, as seems apparent from your comments), in addition to being attracted to you and wanting you to become her husband. What is your plan of action for dealing with that...?

I am not paranoid about this...

I would say you do seem sort of paranoid about this. Definitely concerned...

An example photo is below, from our holidays when we went on a booze cruise. After leaving her for a while, I saw her spend a good 30 min. laughing with a black guy she had just met.

Nice. Your fiancé looks good talking and laughing with a fully-dressed black man, wearing almost nothing and obviously feeling comfortable with that. You should feel good that she's socially self-sufficient, so you don't have to be around to provide her with social support at all times. They look very natural together...

At one stage he put his hand on her ass...

Well, of course. He was checking out how interested she really was. I mean, hey... guys do that, ya' know...

... but, she pushed his hand away.

And, that was the proper response. She had just met him, and you were standing there with your camera, right...?

After thinking and getting input from forums, I am going to test her out. In a couple of days we are going out with friends to one of the nightclubs where she has done promo work. I know it's one of the clubs where she claims black men hit on her. Also, I have pushed her to invite Mark along (the black man from her gym). My plan is to go there, make sure she has some drinks— alcohol makes her horny as hell — and give them some space, to see how she interacts with Mark and other black guys at the club.

People's underlying personalities tend to come out when they're *****. Guys who who are mean and normally try to hide that become mean drunks; people whose underlying personalities are consistent with their surface personalities (both peaceful) are more likely to go to sleep; guys who are belligerent and normally keep that under control become likely to start fights; women who are strongly sexual and normally suppress that to conform with societal expectations become horny as hell; same with men who are strongly sexual.

If your fiancé gets horny as hell when she's had too much to drink, you have a hot woman on your hands. Will you be able to keep her satisfied...?

With our wedding coming up, I need to know where I'm at.

You should have determined that before you asked your fiancé for her hand in marriage — unless she told you, "I want you to become my husband, darling" while holding your cock in one hand and your balls in the other — in which case, even the most sexually-insecure man could have been forgiven for blurting out, "Yes dear."

But when I [try to] talk with her about it, she just says I'm being silly.

Naturally. You don't expect your fiancé to tell you, the man she's planning to marry, that she has simultaneous strong sexual desires for other men, black, brown, or otherwise, do you...? It's positive that you're trying to talk with her about her (and your?) innermost needs and desires, but it doesn't sound like she's reciprocating. Maybe the problem, or part of it, is that you're coming across as trying to get her to reveal her innermost sexual needs and fantasies, so you can make sure they're "in accord with conventional expectations," while revealing nothing about yours.

It's interesting that when I asked her to invite Mark on our nightclub trip, she was really reluctant. I don't know if she's hiding something.

If your fiancé doesn't want to invite another man whom you don't even know to go out with the two of you, you should respect that. The most obvious reason would be, when she goes out with you she wants to be with you and focus on you, not be in the awkward position of having to entertain two men simultaneously, one of whom (you) is obviously suspicious and trying to evaluate how she interacts with the other.

 

[George]

I think your insecurities, acted out as you describe, might create a self-fulfilling problem. You are not demonstrating the trust and confidence in your woman expected of a man who proposed marriage.

 

[Mike and Chris]

Seems to me that the question is whether or not you are willing to let her cuckold you. If you feel you can enjoy that type of relationship then you may be in for a wonderful marriage.

Mike

 

[curiouschris]

Ok thanks for views guys

Pic below of dress she agreed wear tonite when we go to club, its one of my fav and she looks sexy as hell in it. I'm excited about getting answers to my concerns, there are 8 of us going, 2 couples inc us, 3 of my fiancee girlfriends and Mark- guy from gym, in reality this means Mark got plenty girls to choose from to spend his attention on,i will definite pretend have work call so can leave them for a while and try and see what happen from a distance, say need to go out for hour but secret come back in after 15 mins, hope to get my answers tonite when see how she behaves in a club for of black guys- including Mark- when thinks i'm not around. I know there are some comments about lack of my trust- feel bad but believe i have reasons for concerns, also comments about wanting to be a cuck- not true, sure as said before her being hit on is exciting, same with flirting, but watching a black guy fuck her?- think no way could handle jealousy.
Wish me luck

 

[George]

Good luck. Would you like her to leave her panties at home for you, saying because it turns you on? It would put her into a more adventurous mood. Or you could apply makeuo to her nipples; same reason.

 

[zippless]

Sorry to tell you but he has been fucking her. Better get use to it cause she will be fucking him after your marriage.

 

[George]

Your situation leads to a simple, no distractions result. No fooling around. No multiple objectives. No getting distracted by the only apparently important things instead of the truly important things. Think hard about what you truly want vis-a-vis Kelly. And then take the single action and the single attitude most likely to get what you want.

If you want a happy marriage with Kelly you need to share with her what you know in non-accusatory tones, accept that she will first try to deny, and then become scared and defensively angry, but persevere in your 'I want us to work this out as a loving, accepting and mutually respecting couple' approach. This is hard, but necessary. This should lead to honest conversations and ultimately mutual accommodations of each others' needs.

If she wants to keep fucking him, and you want her, then give her your blessing to fuck him, but insist on honest communication from here on. If she says 'I'll stop' but you believe that is not what she truly wants, then tell her you two will talk about it many times more when the emotions are not so raw. Again, for a sucessful marriage you two should accommodate one another's basic needs. She may decide that loving you is so important that she will give up sexual adventure. Many women, likely a substantial majority, reach that decission. But you two need to make your own accommodations.

If you are unable to approach this situation in a loving supportive way, then either you don't love her enough, or are to burdened by harmful emotions, or to immature for a sucessful marriage at this time. It's tough, so decide what you want and act accordingly.

 

[Jaxunman]

Very well put George! You described in much better words exactly what I was thinking in regards to advice.

 

[manon]

A central foundation required in any relationship is 'trust" and "honesty" which Kelly has not demonstrated so I would suggest starting from that facet first after the you bring this to discussion and get the emotions out the way.

When that engagement ring was accepted that was a turning point unless their was honesty from the get go......

If a person cannot trust another, what relationship much less a marriage .......

Disagree on maturity point suggestion. To each his own happiness , To say that a person is in-mature because they don't want their future spouse to have sexual relations with another would seen to show rather a personal judgement of one's own views rather than be accepting that all people are different.

Counter point would be to call a cuckold marriage in-mature...... which would also be the same.....

Granted the op is communicating on "this" forum.

Points to Ponder

Regards

 

[Custer Laststand]

Re. your post of April 15:

.... Party at club is all confirmed, and yes, the guy [my fiancé's trainer] from her gym... Mark... is coming. Will be interesting to see fiancé's behaviour after some booze, in the party atmosphere, surrounded by loads of black guys. Will maybe pretend I get a night work call, this sometimes happens from our USA office, will pretend I have to leave club for a while then sneak back in to see what's going on when she thinks I'm not around.

Clearly, your goal is not for your fiancé to have a good time with you at the party. Rather, it is to suspiciously subject her to a “test.” You haven’t stated what she’ll have to do (or not do) to pass your “test,” so the outcome may be ambiguous. Thus, more than likely, you’ll continue to be suspicious and plan more and more “tests” for her. This does not bode well for your future relationship with your fiancé.

Photo below explains what I am fighting for. ….

Here, you pretty much state that you view your fiancé as one of your possessions, sort of like your TV, and you want to make sure no one is sneaking in and watching your TV when you’re not home, because then it’s supposed to be turned off. It’s YOUR TV…

Wish me luck.

With what…? I’m more inclined to think it’s your fiancé who needs luck.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Re. your post of 17 April 2015 (today):

So, it's been a bit of a nightmare day. At the club/party last night, it was pretty obvious from body language and behaviour that there was something going on between Mark… [my fiancé's black trainer]… from her gym, and my fiancé. While she was on the dance floor with her friends, I approached Mark (who was pretty *****) and started a conversation:

Mark: ”Your fiancé looks so hot.”

Me: "Yes, I know, she looks even better naked.”

Mark: “Yes, I know.”

That’s great… you gave him a perfect opening, and he didn’t hesitate to take it.

Mark and I then had a big argument. He claimed he had been fucking my Kelly for months now, she was really into it, and now begged him for sex.

As I mentioned earlier, you have a hot woman on your hands. What makes you think you, by yourself, will be able to keep her sexually satisfied…?

But, she felt mega-guilty, as she loved me and our wedding was on the horizon.

That’s to be expected, since your fiancé has been keeping her affair secret (because of your expectations), and because her strong sexuality does not accord with Judeochristian cultural expectations of what women are supposed to be like — but, in many if not most cases, are not like.

Anyway… Mark answered your question, in a way much more straightforward than you anticipated.

I would have punched the guy, if he were not twice my size.

Being much larger (in more ways than one, almost certainly), Mark could be reasonably confident your argument would remain verbal. But, it sounds like you’re inclined toward violence in emotionally-difficult situations.

—> This suggests your fiancé is heading toward a marriage of domestic violence with you. It’s among the reasons I said I’m more inclined to wish her luck, than you. <—

I told him he was a bull shit merchant. He just grinned, and asked for my email address. The photos below arrived this pm. It’s clearly him with my fiancé, and I have totally lost it this pm. The good news is that the photos, which I assume he took with his phone while he was with her, just seem to be them fooling around, not having sex.

Please, give me a break. I don’t see any evidence in the photos that your fiancé is not having sex with Mark. Her facial expression in the second-from-left photo, for instance, suggests she was in the midst of orgasm when Mark took it.

I have emailed him back saying a) You are a dick for taking these pics (I can’t believe Kelly let him), and b) You are BS about fucking her.

Wishful thinking. You set up a “test” because you were seeking evidence re. whether your fiancé is, or is not, attracted to Mark. Now, you have it. She is. And, Mark told you straight out that she’s been fucking him for months, and gave you evidence of that, as well. Re. why Kelly would “allow” it: there’s something very erotic about being photographed in compromising, culturally-taboo situations.

I did not tell my fiancé about my conversation with Mark when we left the club, but I know she knows something is wrong. I was real [tense and upset?] quite late last night, and this morning, before she went to work, she kept asking me: “What’s wrong?” Then, this pm while we were both at work, I got the photos. Kelly will be back from work in 2 or 3 hours; I have not contacted her yet, and am still agonizing over what to say to her, how to play things. I don’t want to lose her, but getting naked with a guy is a world apart from flirting. I feel so jealous.

You need to do some serious thinking about whether you asked the right woman to marry you. There are many women out there who are physically very attractive, but have lower… in many cases, much lower… sex drives than your fiancé. Women for whom it’s important to adhere to Judeochristian expectations (unrealistic though they may be), and remain faithful to their husbands. Hell, you could probably find an attractive woman who’s asexual if you want that. (There’s some evidence that asexual people, both women and men, make up something like one percent of the population at large, but that’s a weak statistic.) That might sound like a small percentage, but in terms of numbers, it’s quite a few folks.

 

[curiouschris]

Well at least i know reality- just struggling with it

When my fiancee got back from work i challenged her about the photos Mark had sent me and she just came clean, Mark had already warned her by phoning her at work during the day that i knew about them , yes she has been fucking him for a few months now, yes she was sorry but just loved the sex, yes she loves me and wants to go ahead with the wedding, yes she is sorry but if honest wants to carry on fucking the guy!!

I was pretty much in shock and while dealing with my lovely Kelly's confessions Mark sent me more photos he had taken- this time clearly him fucking her, also he sent me a long message by email saying:

- what did i expect?,Kelly is gorgeous and highly sexed, mine and her sex life is inadequate for her ?????, yes she has a thing about black guys and if he wasn't fucking her another black guy would be

- i should be glad its out in open,he had been pushing for Kelly to tell me for ages, we are all grown up and need to deal with reality and he was fed up with hiding, he wants it out in the open he is fucking her

- i should be glad to be with her, she will make an amazing wife,loves me and i need to deal with fact that i will be married to someone who fucks around

- finally he stated he knew we were planning to start a family as soon as we married, Kelly came off the pill a few weeks ago, our dream is to conceive on honeymoon, he emphasised although he loves bareback they always use a condom- like he was doing me a favour?, arrogant shit!!

- he closed by stating good it all out in open and if wanted i could join in with them- photo, threesome, whatever,he didnt want conflict

I was stunned by his email and when tried to talk to Kelly about its content she just said "why dont the 3 of us get together to talk about it?"

I have alot of thinking to do,any experienced views welcome