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IR Encounters: Should You Let Hubby Watch?
- Thread starterSandyWho
- Start date
nicedicki said:
My hubby is of the same opinion although a smaller average cock! Everyone who enters into this type of situation must be prepared of consequences. We entered this as a couple and if at any point we disagree or feel uneasy then thats when we have a time-out so we stay as a couple. If you enter this with a relationship in denial there is only one place your going!
One thing is for sure with me is I would never think about leaving my hubby for a BBC lover. Reasons : No matter the size of their cock it takes years to perfect how to lick my pussy and my hubby is an expert at that! I'm bi-sexual so i also enjoy meeting up with my girlfriends as well. The thrill of having different lovers turns me on. Hubby loves taking pics and vids of me in action and i also get off on performing. Makes him feel like a porn director and me the star....lol. I been with a number of bbc now and I can ensure you all im looking for is some NSA to reach the parts others can't reach.
good luck and happy hunting
Suzy xxx
Don't most of you couples like to do this together? I've enjoyed wives solo as cheaters and in some cases where they wanted to cut loose w/o hub around but dont most want the hub to watch? Do the hubs feel like they get the short end of it since they don't watch and get any enjoyment while the wife enjoys herself?
M
mywifeenjoysblack
Guest
It is done together in some cases but I can see the points of those like Sandy's. I sometimes get to watch but as we've gone further into this lifestyle over the past two years, it's gotten to be less. We both enjoy it but when I am watching my wife is concerned about me where she doesnt put as much focus on herself, sure she gets a great time but i've heard her behind bedroom doors and it's clear she is much more relaxed when it's one on one or two on one with me not around.
I do agree that with the wife's first time, she should be allowed to do it alone. Sure you can go meet with the selected lover to make sure everything is ok but they need ot have their time to let the chemistry work and then obviously need time in the bedroom alone. The first few times my wife was nervous enough with out me there, let alone if I was there watching.
I'd say the biggest thing for myself and some other husbands I've known in this lifestyle is that when you do go through with this, it's not just you and your wife. When you get into this stuff, as a hub you're going to see that there are the fantasy studs out there, the muscled hung guys that get women, that get married women, etc and that are experienced with couples, and that are frankly built for this. And your wife is going to enjoy it and want to repeat those encounters. But as I said it's not just you and your wife, if your wife clicks sexually with some stud, he's going to continue to pursue her as well and you need to be prepared for that. If a stud's enjoyed your wife already, he knows shes sexually available and he might phase you out over time so be prepared for that. Also just be prepared for a more "liberated" wife, when you go on vacation, etc, I sincerely believe couples into this put out some sort of signal, I've had little trouble spotting "hotwives" etc on vacation and my wife's given that "i'm ready" vibe on vacation to some studs without any real effort.
I do agree that with the wife's first time, she should be allowed to do it alone. Sure you can go meet with the selected lover to make sure everything is ok but they need ot have their time to let the chemistry work and then obviously need time in the bedroom alone. The first few times my wife was nervous enough with out me there, let alone if I was there watching.
I'd say the biggest thing for myself and some other husbands I've known in this lifestyle is that when you do go through with this, it's not just you and your wife. When you get into this stuff, as a hub you're going to see that there are the fantasy studs out there, the muscled hung guys that get women, that get married women, etc and that are experienced with couples, and that are frankly built for this. And your wife is going to enjoy it and want to repeat those encounters. But as I said it's not just you and your wife, if your wife clicks sexually with some stud, he's going to continue to pursue her as well and you need to be prepared for that. If a stud's enjoyed your wife already, he knows shes sexually available and he might phase you out over time so be prepared for that. Also just be prepared for a more "liberated" wife, when you go on vacation, etc, I sincerely believe couples into this put out some sort of signal, I've had little trouble spotting "hotwives" etc on vacation and my wife's given that "i'm ready" vibe on vacation to some studs without any real effort.
S
ScottyBo
Guest
Wanting/Not Wanting
My wife just got started in this lifestyle - had her first black man recently. She admits she now wants more - not just him but to have the black 'experience'. When we discussed the big picture she told me how excited she is now contemplating what can happen. There's not a scintilla of doubt what she WANTS, the devil is in the details. She doesn't want me watching - which I understand - but sometimes the imagination can be dangerous; wondering what is happening, how deeply Lynn (wife) is getting into this, is starting a chain reaction that will lead from one thing to another.
I am not sure what other's experience may be but something I/we have to face is that 'danger' of Lynn bonding with a particular black guy. There are those 'studs' out there who enjoy moving hubby aside and becoming the main man and Lynn confesses the idea of being a "Black Man's Woman" is a big turn-on for her but sex isn't 24/7 and perspective has to be maintained. I know (partly) and HEARD (all) of what happened with Lynn's first black guy and during the intense passion of the sex things are said that a husband can misconstrue with horrible effects; the "Oh I love you..." and "I'm totally yours, always, anytime...". And to be blunt, will my wife "make love" or simply 'fuck'? I know how she does each and, frankly, would have a problem witnessing it.
How many of you husbands see their wives slowing grinding and thrusting at the black man between her legs, arounds around him, legs locking him and pulling him deeper as they kiss feverishly and then the black guy raises slightly and your wife and he move together slowly and deeply looking into each other's eyes... I know what I would EXPECT might be said - and Lynn has said she would never keep anything from me if she makes that big step to begin seeing black men. I don't think it's a matter of a man being secure with HIMSELF, it's quite easy to say and write and imagine and assume how we'd act in a given situation - it's another to be within a few feet (or inches). It's a fine line that can easily be crossed between sex for fun and suddenly discovering it is more than the physical act.
Do I want Lynn doing it? YES. Does she want it? DOUBLE YES. But the masochistic side of me prefers the intense lealous-arousal in her absence than sitting/standing there and watching. I'll see all the evidence I want to see and as long as I see it within the context of my wife laying next to me in the afterglow of her excitement and satisfaction, I'm fine. Regardless of what happens I know she'll always be coming home. The idea of having things vdeotaped is an option since it puts distance between the woman on the screen and my wife. But I candidly confess that, initially at least, I'd probably be uncomfortable watching in-person.
The bottom line, though, is that these coming weeks and months will certainly say a lot about ME than anything else.
My wife just got started in this lifestyle - had her first black man recently. She admits she now wants more - not just him but to have the black 'experience'. When we discussed the big picture she told me how excited she is now contemplating what can happen. There's not a scintilla of doubt what she WANTS, the devil is in the details. She doesn't want me watching - which I understand - but sometimes the imagination can be dangerous; wondering what is happening, how deeply Lynn (wife) is getting into this, is starting a chain reaction that will lead from one thing to another.
I am not sure what other's experience may be but something I/we have to face is that 'danger' of Lynn bonding with a particular black guy. There are those 'studs' out there who enjoy moving hubby aside and becoming the main man and Lynn confesses the idea of being a "Black Man's Woman" is a big turn-on for her but sex isn't 24/7 and perspective has to be maintained. I know (partly) and HEARD (all) of what happened with Lynn's first black guy and during the intense passion of the sex things are said that a husband can misconstrue with horrible effects; the "Oh I love you..." and "I'm totally yours, always, anytime...". And to be blunt, will my wife "make love" or simply 'fuck'? I know how she does each and, frankly, would have a problem witnessing it.
How many of you husbands see their wives slowing grinding and thrusting at the black man between her legs, arounds around him, legs locking him and pulling him deeper as they kiss feverishly and then the black guy raises slightly and your wife and he move together slowly and deeply looking into each other's eyes... I know what I would EXPECT might be said - and Lynn has said she would never keep anything from me if she makes that big step to begin seeing black men. I don't think it's a matter of a man being secure with HIMSELF, it's quite easy to say and write and imagine and assume how we'd act in a given situation - it's another to be within a few feet (or inches). It's a fine line that can easily be crossed between sex for fun and suddenly discovering it is more than the physical act.
Do I want Lynn doing it? YES. Does she want it? DOUBLE YES. But the masochistic side of me prefers the intense lealous-arousal in her absence than sitting/standing there and watching. I'll see all the evidence I want to see and as long as I see it within the context of my wife laying next to me in the afterglow of her excitement and satisfaction, I'm fine. Regardless of what happens I know she'll always be coming home. The idea of having things vdeotaped is an option since it puts distance between the woman on the screen and my wife. But I candidly confess that, initially at least, I'd probably be uncomfortable watching in-person.
The bottom line, though, is that these coming weeks and months will certainly say a lot about ME than anything else.
Wonderful! You are asking yourself exactly the right questions and I think that because you are doing this you will be able to work thing out. The answer to the question about "making love" or just fucking is that she will experience both. There will be lovers that she can not get enough of, certainly that was my case. But it is like candy, at some point the intense pleasure wears off and you frankly, your lover usually becomes more demanding than you are will to allow. But what I want you to work out is what you want in this relationship? Do you know yet? I think that being passive is silly when you can enjoy and share.
V
vanilla_thrilla
Guest
We communicate. We share the same ideas in regards to this. She's not your typical cavern girl and I'm not your typical cavern man. Most of the stuff on this site is 99% bullshit about white women becoming addicted to black cock like they're some kind of drug or God. The majority of your swinging couples enter into the lifestyle, the interracial facet included, at the husband's suggestion. Most women, statistically, enter it in an effort to appease and make their men happy. My own girl is not unlike most women who could take it or leave it and does this primarily to please me. Most wives/gf's in the lifestyle do. To intimate all these myths and suggest half the stuff this site does isn't reality.
S
ScottyBo
Guest
SandyWho said:
Sandy,
Being 'passive' is a misnomer. She does have a steady black boyfriend with whom she fucks AND makes love. It IS possible to participate without watching - we talk openly and frankly about the whole situation which excites me and she knows it and enjoys it. I enjoy the fact she is with black men and her complete submersion in the lifestyle is rewarding to me (her too but more intensely physical). One may say I am 'passive' only because I have yet to be physically present during one of her encounters. But that is the ONLY area where I am not physically involved. My wife loves having this slice of her life as her semi-private world where she can do things, say things and feel things she cannot in any other arena. I hear all about it and certainly see the results! I enjoy her being able to have that intimate personal time with her BF - allowing her to get all the attention and pleasure herself. It seems to intensify her desires and involvement to have that 1% slice all to herself. I am certainly not ignored in our own private, married life and am not ignored in her I/R lifestyle 99% of the time but that 1% where she can be 'another woman' excites her and provides impetus to keep on.
Of course, it will be a moot point in short time since she wants me to watch in the near future so, if nothing else, she says, I can see for myself how delerious she gets with a black dick working on her
Should hubby watch
Enjoyed this thoughtful thread of comments. May I offer you some reflections on my own (limited) experience. My wife and I entertained this 'sharing' fantasy for a number of years. but when we tried to act it out - on swinging scene - we found its not that easy. sounds obvious I know, but you dont control real events like you can a fantasy. I found that things just weren't happening the way I wanted them to. and often it was surprisingly un-erotic watching her being fucked. As someone else on the thread said - I found liostening to Sarah's accounts of sex with her lovers much more arousing. The best thing we ever did was when we set up in advance for one of my friends to fuck her. Sarah just said 'im going fora shower...if you want to join me boys?'. When he stepped in the shower with us his large boner was sticking right up. That was very erotic and i came watching him fuck her standing up in the shower. But its actually very hit and miss - and I agre with many of the other comments here about watching not being all its cracked up to be.
Enjoyed this thoughtful thread of comments. May I offer you some reflections on my own (limited) experience. My wife and I entertained this 'sharing' fantasy for a number of years. but when we tried to act it out - on swinging scene - we found its not that easy. sounds obvious I know, but you dont control real events like you can a fantasy. I found that things just weren't happening the way I wanted them to. and often it was surprisingly un-erotic watching her being fucked. As someone else on the thread said - I found liostening to Sarah's accounts of sex with her lovers much more arousing. The best thing we ever did was when we set up in advance for one of my friends to fuck her. Sarah just said 'im going fora shower...if you want to join me boys?'. When he stepped in the shower with us his large boner was sticking right up. That was very erotic and i came watching him fuck her standing up in the shower. But its actually very hit and miss - and I agre with many of the other comments here about watching not being all its cracked up to be.
Dating
Perhaps a woman who wants to be sure a man is going to be genuinely cool w everything, is in the beginnings of a relationship, let her potential bf/hubby/what have u understand that for a while she is going to be a 'blk-only' girl, or only sleep w her lover(s). If he truly can deal w her having who she chooses in bed, then he will understand and be just as adoring and tender w her up until (and after) his first time w her. If it is going to work, she will know sooner, and she will have the best of both worlds, as more women should!
Perhaps a woman who wants to be sure a man is going to be genuinely cool w everything, is in the beginnings of a relationship, let her potential bf/hubby/what have u understand that for a while she is going to be a 'blk-only' girl, or only sleep w her lover(s). If he truly can deal w her having who she chooses in bed, then he will understand and be just as adoring and tender w her up until (and after) his first time w her. If it is going to work, she will know sooner, and she will have the best of both worlds, as more women should!
SandyWho said:
V
vanilla_thrilla
Guest
Careful dude, your sanity will disappear faster than your manhood around this place if you have a dissenting opinion from this bend-over-backwards-black-men-are-superior-cater-to-your-wife-because-we-know-better-than-you-what-she-wants-and-needs-cuckold-BULLSHIT. Real men with actual penis' aren't looked at favorably here.
M
MaleInNC2007
Guest
vanilla_thrilla said:
:bj:
Try having a wife go out and catch AIDS because she felt it was not proper to keep her hubby abreast of the men she was sleeping with and then infecting him. There is a fine line between fantasy and reality and one of the bloke here found out the hard way all because his wife slept around on the side and he didn't know.
Just like I said, there is nothing wrong with wanting to go out and get GB'd by a group of well hung black men but if a person is married they owe a duty to the other person to be open. If either the man or the female doesn't want to be honest and open then there should be no marriage - period. The whole rant above doesn't even apply.
I think a husband should be able to watch. When my wife had her first expierence with a black man, I set it up. We got a motel room in his area, we are from out of state. We all met together, had some drinks. Then we went to our room and I left the two of them alone. They called me on my cell phone, when it was over. I got back to the room and they were still naked. I ask my wife is she would suck his cock again, while I took some pics. She did and it was hot. I took pics of her sucking his black cock and the contrast of white and black, was a beatuful thing. They stood and kissed, like she never kissed me . That was the first and last time , I seen them naked. I think it would be great to see them fucking and having him fill her with his cum. Just my thoughts. Jim from upstate, NY
