I started cheating…

[Carolinaxxx]

My husband and I have been out of the lifestyle for awhile now. I had an emotional connection with my last stud which really upset my husband. We haven’t played since. We really enjoyed and have talked about trying it again but there’s no guarantees I won’t fall for anyone again.

The cuckolding lifestyle was the hottest sex I’ve ever had. I went from constantly feeling wanted to now repairing a marriage and no sex as a result.

I’m not proud to say I’ve started cheating. It’s nothing I’ve ever done before and thought I would feel much worse about it than I do but I’m really enjoying it. My husband and I started hosting an exchange student. He’s gorgeous and amazing. I call him Tommy because he reminds me of Tom Hardy. It didn’t take long for the sexual tension to manifest into an affair. I wish I was honest with my husband but I’m really liking the secrecy.

Thoughts on coming clean? How upset would you be in my husband’s position?

 

[DaveJ]

My husband and I have been out of the lifestyle for awhile now. I had an emotional connection with my last stud which really upset my husband. We haven’t played since. We really enjoyed and have talked about trying it again but there’s no guarantees I won’t fall for anyone again.

The cuckolding lifestyle was the hottest sex I’ve ever had. I went from constantly feeling wanted to now repairing a marriage and no sex as a result.

I’m not proud to say I’ve started cheating. It’s nothing I’ve ever done before and thought I would feel much worse about it than I do but I’m really enjoying it. My husband and I started hosting an exchange student. He’s gorgeous and amazing. I call him Tommy because he reminds me of Tom Hardy. It didn’t take long for the sexual tension to manifest into an affair. I wish I was honest with my husband but I’m really liking the secrecy.

Thoughts on coming clean? How upset would you be in my husband’s position?

Well, I’m still in the lifestyle, divorced white bull, so my opinion may or may not matter! Lol. Anything to do to make my life better, more erotic, more sensual need, the escape from every day living in a non changing environment, the more of the naughtiest, forbidden, boundary crossing man slut I want to be. So as a man, I would not come clean. Why? What’s the purpose of coming clean? I mean, I may know that you and your husband have the utmost honest and respect for each other. In order to tell each other everything. I have a gf who I love to the moon and back. But she has accepted and doesn’t want to know my lifestyle business. As long as I come home to her. She has accepted that when we dated then fell in love. So I’m going to call “what he doesn’t know now won’t hurt him”. Not sure if I helped or not. But good luck!

 

[2wheel]

I was a hotwife husband and am now in a similar with a ladyfriend.

The prime 'directive in this lifestyle is "preserve the primary relationship", by having an "emotional connection" to a SEX partner you broke that cardinal rule which in essence broke everything. The trust he put in you to keep it physical was broke.

One of our rules was no more than 3 times with another man, for fear of that an emotional connection will evolve, unless she didn't like the guy.

Sex is like a drug, it's addictive especially if it's good sex.

And that addiction has you cheating on him, another violation of his trust. You're getting in deeper and deeper. You can't dig yourself out of a hole.

What to do, suggestions:
1 - talk to hubby about starting hotwifing agian with the condition it will not become emotional and limit the times with you have any sex partner.
2 - make your promise believable and sincere - he'll know if it's not - beg him if need be, groveling may be necessary
3 - it may take some time
4 - then you can seamlessly incorporate your cheating into the restart
5 - do not tell him of your cheating

Good luck

 

[Laceyfemme]

My first wife had a similar "attachment" which led to a long affair, and then divorce.

Having only one extramarital partner in secrecy surely increases the chance of an emotional attachment, and having him live with you (!) might really increase the chances of getting caught. So between steps 3 and 4, arrange a few weeks or months of very casual motel meetings with several other partners you don't know or are sure you won't fall for. Maybe this is clear already.

 

[happytwobeecucked]

Sounds perfect to me, especially the secrecy adding to the spice…. Must be great for you with the hottest of hot sex, yes?

 

[encasedforfun]

Honestly. He's a cuck and asking for it - so don't feel guilty. If I were you, I'd lock him in chastity, give the key to Tom and explain to your husband that for the duration of Tom's stay he is the man of the house. He will sleep in your bed with you, and your husband will follow his orders obediently if he ever wants to have a chance of putting his cock in you again.

It may seem harsh, but this is what your husband wants and needs - and it sounds like it is what you need. There is absolutely no logical reason for a husband who has been dealing with infidelity already to agree to have a young stud come live in the same house as his wife unless he has fantasies and desires about his wife being taken by him.

Just keep in mind that your husband may not want to be totally ignored. It is important that both you and Tom give him adequate attention in the form of teasing, denial, ****** chores, and humiliating tasks.

 

[Nazareth]

Guilt, or what you may even perceive as a lack of guilt, is a helluva thing to live with.
But I just can't see any benefit to telling your husband, at least in the short term.

I can see some benefit of you taking enough time to decide what it is you really want.

Your particular circumstances seem to involve too much risk, because the temptation is always present, and he lives in your house. It's too easy to give in.
I think your husband is bound to take notice, if not discover, at some point, no matter how cuckold he may be.
So it may be wise to make some honest decisions with yourself, your husband, and your marriage. If you could resist fucking your new lover until you reach this point, that would be ideal, but not very likely. Find a way to impose some kind of limit.

I'm sure there has to be enough ways to satisfy everybody, and no reason you shouldn't be able to reach one.
I just think it's a good idea to get there sooner rather than later.

 

[Carolinaxxx]

Thank you all for the insightful replies! I think you’re all correct. I’ve considered that my hubby deep down knows I’m intimate with Tom but who knows. All I know now is that I look forward to my husband working late!

 

[encasedforfun]

You could also consider an experiment. Given what you've said about your husband it isn't a stretch to think he wants to be submissive to a stronger, alpha male. You could discuss with Tom ways to test this. Perhaps one evening have Tom ask him to bring him a beer, or clear off the table. Something small, inoffensive, but something that very clearly sets the tone of dominant and submissive in the household. Make sure he does it when you are present - as the driving factor behind his desire to play the role of submissive to another man will likely be for your amusement and his perception of himself from your perspective.

Gauge his reaction to it. See if he brings it up to you later. If it goes over smoothly, you could continue to have him ratchet it up. Perhaps have him order your husband to bring you a drink as well. Having another man tell you to bring your wife a drink leaves little doubt who's woman she is.

Speaking from my personal experience - as someone who's wife is cheating and fucking other men BEHIND my back - I would MUCH prefer that she tell me up front (in no uncertain terms) that she is having her boyfriend over to fuck and while he is here I am going to be locked in chastity, wearing panties, and serving them drinks.

 

[Nazareth]

My wife cuckolded me for years - then she decided she didn't want her affairs to be known by me so she started cheating. I accept it as a true cuck would, but would love for her to be more open with me and her affairs so maybe she can get a bull/hotwife relationship.

I'll never understand this as long as I live!
Husbands can be perfectly happy accepting a cuckold lifestyle, even encourage it in a lot of cases. Yet women will still choose to cheat and cover it up or otherwise keep it private. I can understand the 'thrill' of a private relationship, especially if it's a repeat partner over time, can be alluring. It's like getting to live another life or have an alter ego. But there's no reason to keep i hidden; all we want to know are the details! Doesn't make sense to me at all.

I've had wives actually flaunt they were sharing their pussy with other men (and women!), and not make much attempt to hide what they were doing, yet deny that they were until the bitter end. Even reassuring them there was no anger/resentment, I liked that they did it, and encouraged them to do these things at home made no difference. I would get details only on occasion.

 

[Laceyfemme]

...women will still choose to cheat and cover it up or otherwise keep it private.

I dunno. My guess is that some of them can't get completely comfortable with the idea of being a hot wife, no matter how much we say it's OK and even encourage them. Remember that they've had plenty of programming, too

 

[Custer Laststand]

OK SORRY FOR THE HYJACKED POST: ....... THANKS AND AGAIN SORRY FOR VENTING ON YOUR POST. — MURPHS

Please don't worry about it. Your contribution is a good one. —Custer

 

[confidenthotwife]

this is supposed to be about a couple exploring and enjoying what they explore, an idea a feeling a thought that enhances the relationship. its about the couple not one, or the other feeling that they want something else, if that is the case then they were never a couple to start with. after years and many lovers who i have had great sex with i have never thought about leaving my partner because we got into this for each other. i do it cos he wants me to and he enjoys what we do whether its together or on the odd opportunity that i go alone, he gets the details cos thats what its about. if it's not for us then it's not happening. yes i get invites to go it alone and leave him thats the male ego trying to dominate (ever met a black guy who didnt) but no, it's about us or this isnt hotwives, its truly betrayal.
confcpl

 

[happytwobeecucked]

this is supposed to be about a couple exploring and enjoying what they explore, an idea a feeling a thought that enhances the relationship. its about the couple not one, or the other feeling that they want something else, if that is the case then they were never a couple to start with. after years and many lovers who i have had great sex with i have never thought about leaving my partner because we got into this for each other. i do it cos he wants me to and he enjoys what we do whether its together or on the odd opportunity that i go alone, he gets the details cos thats what its about. if it's not for us then it's not happening. yes i get invites to go it alone and leave him thats the male ego trying to dominate (ever met a black guy who didnt) but no, it's about us or this isnt hotwives, its truly betrayal.
confcpl

Well-said! To me, that is exactly the joy of a true cuckold relationship.

 

[Carolinaxxx]

I think that truly is the case with my wife....I think lol. I was talking to a friend who happens to be a life coach - and during the course of many drinks got me talking about all sorts of things - and eventually sex she was good and could snse I was hiding something and kept asking questions til I eventually told her of my wife cheating, cuckolding and hotwifing and me liking. When we were sober the next day she asked again and we discussed it more. She got back to me a bit later and we talked again, her take was: That she likes the thrill of cheating of living that secret life. She might also like hurting you as a cuck a little bit, by not telling you the details nor hiding the information from you very well. She has always cheated a little and always had side boyfriends when we were dating and when engaged she had some longterm BF/FB on the side. So even tho I accept it, support her and encourage her she still prefers to cheat.

She has been caught by me many times and she always lies. I told our friend that I am used to it, that it does hurt a bit that she isn't honest, but she has been cheating on me since we were dating, engaged and married. Our friend said:

- it is part of her make up, she enjoys it and gets off on it
- she knows you won't leave her so her "cheating" is made safe
- She is submissive to other men, but wants to be equal or a step up from you in your relationship - hence the sneaking around
- It does provide a "double" life and its fun to keep it separate.
- She asked me to be more honest with my wife and if she has any BF or potential BF/FB to give her expressed permission and let her know what I want out of my wife's relationships.

She then asked me what I get out of it (and I wish I was ***** again) - but told her that my wife is submissive to me in bed, but I like it when I get dominated.....so when a dominant man takes my wife I don't feel humiliation, I feel submissive to both of them. She then asked me if I want my wife's dominant lovers to know that you approve and maybe flaunt it more - I told her I did, so she told my me to tell my wife that.

SO: During foreplay and sex I started talking about my wife's ex she recently has been in touch with and told her I want him to be her Boyfriend. She got hot and told me He doesn't like to share and I wouldn't be able to fuck her while she was his.....a week later she stopped texting him lol and now only texts/sexts when he reaches out to her. She even said she wasn't going to their reunion this fall but didnt give me a reason....I assume it is cause Her Ex will want her as he is single but now that I know or suggested it, it has lost its allure.

So new opportunity, our friend who has sletpt with her before (one of the few I know about openly) texted her saying he was going out to Vegas and wanted to go to the green door with him, cause his wife won't do it. Her browser history was loaded with searches and reviews. She wants to go but this guy is more timid and won't come out and ask and my wife is timid and won't tell him she wants to go with him.....and I am afraid to give her my blessing as she will than flat out refuse.


[OK SORRY FOR THE HYJACKED POST: BASICALLY CUCKOLDING IN THE OPEN IS PREFERED BY ALL - CHEATING CAUSES ISSUES AS YOU CAN SEE ABOVE - EVEN IF THE HUSBAND LIKES IT LOL. SO EXPERIMENT, LIMIT THE CHEATING UNTIL YOU GET SOME SORT OF BLESSING OR FIND OUT WHAT TRULY AROUSES YOUR HUSBAND. MOVIES MAYBE AN ACCIDENTAL WARDROBE MALFUNCTION IN FRONT OF YOUR HUSBAND AND EXCHANGE STUDENT (MAKE SURE YOUR SIDE PEICE KNOWS IT IN ADVANCE SO HE CAN REACT APPROPRIATELY) TO SEE WHAT YOUR HUSBAND SAIS OR DOES AFTER.]. THANKS AND AGAIN SORRY FOR VENTING ON YOUR POST

MURPHS

By all means! I love the insight and thoughtful response.