sptbj2 said:
Thanks Julie! Those are great points. I do absolutely respect my wife's feelings about this topic. I have an easy time separating fantasy from reality.
I don't "want" to "be cucked." If I did, my imagination is fertile enough that I could get my needs met in "virtual reality."
The truth is that she's never said she didn't want to do it. She has mentioned several obstacles over the years, but she can see the benefits for her, and, possibly, for our relationship. I don't pressure her (if I did, she'd wonder about my motivations - and she would be right.) When she signals that she no longer wants to discuss it, I do "ease up." We've been married a long time and we know each other very well.
The truth is that I just want her to be happy. This is not about me. I think you have to be a true submissive to understand my mindset. If I thought that she was in no way interested, I would drop it like a hot potato. I can see and feel the interest. I'm just wondering how to proceed.
Hello!
Wait a minute. At the beginning of this thread you were asking how far you should go and people were offering advice and directing you to certain sources of information containing suggestions and techniques that could be used to break down her resistance. Now you say you just want her to be happy and if you thought she really wasn't interested, you'd drop the whole thing? Sorry, but this doesn't make any sense to me. Forgetting about gender, what precisely does it take to convince men interested in this lifestyle that another human being is not interested in it? For example; if you suggested it to her and explained your interest in it in detail so she could understand your motives, and she still showed no real and definite interest, THAT should be a clear indication that she really doesn't want to do this at all. Why then, the desire to keep on pursuing the issue by trying to figure out ways to employ in order to finally make her warm up to the idea?? Just because she didn't say she wasn't interested, doesn't mean there's some sort of green light to keep on pursuing this. Doesn't her overall behavior serve to show that she's not turned-on by it? You say that whenever she signals that she doesn't want to discuss it, you "ease up"!! Why not just drop it preminantly instead of coming back again and again to it in hopes of wearing down her resistance? That to me really sucks. If I were in a marriage and my husband kept at me over something I wasn't interested in, the marriage wouldn't last very long because to me such behavior clearly illustrates that he actually didn't really love or respect me.....or even think enough of me to stop being a pest when I was indifferent towards whatever.
Have you ever thought that when you think that she can "see the benefits" for herself and possibly for your marriage, she might just be trying to humor you because she knows you're so captivated by the idea? It seems to me that the more prodding and coaxing is involved, and the longer its applied, the more it shows how disinterested the wife is in the entire concept. Women ( speaking for myself and many others !! ) are highly sexual and sensual beings. If we want something, we don't really need any prodding or convincing or coaxing to get started at it or in it. Attitudes today are not what they were half a century ago, you know. Women aren't all hung-up anymore with all sorts of taboos and mores installed by a sexually-repressed male-dominated society. We can be VERY experimental, open-minded, and adventurous these days in case a lot of men hadn't noticed! So if a wife needs all that convincing and pushing, you can be pretty sure that she really isn't into the whole idea.
Of course everyone's an individual, but in spite of this, there is a sort of uniform pattern of responses that exists among the greater majority of present-day women. This is why I think that many of the men who are doing this are objectifying their wives instead of valuing them and respecting them as individuals whom they supposedly are in
LOVE with.
Sure, I can see where a guy could really get UP over this kind of activity. I mean, just the excitement lots of ordinary guys have over say, professional football players, who are far bigger and stronger - generally physically superior, so to speak - is enough of an indication of a kind of homo-erotic electricity running through today's male population. Mix in the naughty, secretive activities of the cuckhold/hotwife lifestyle and the fact that such men could actually see their wives serviced and sexually overwhelmed by some physically superior male, and it all adds up in terms of something very appealing to that good old, ever-present, male libido. But even so, it still doesn't excuse the use of all the relentless pressuring when the wife shows no interest.
I actually feel that most women who eventually embark upon these sorts of sexual escapades do so just because they know it means so much to their husbands and so they want to make the husband happy even if it means having sex outside the marriage. That, or the wives just get so sick and tired of all the prodding that they simply sigh, give in, and comply. I'm not saying this is the absolute case in every cockhold/hotwife couple, but I'd be willing to bet it is in most instances.
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