Female Led Marriage and Marissa Rudder

[rudder]

No I don't want to know refer to him as her boyfriend.

I love her. I have been in this FLR lifestyle for a while now, it just seems to be all set up for them to cheat.

 

[Custer Laststand]

No I don't want to know....

Know what? Early on, I had the impression you knew your wife was fucking a guy she met at her gym because she had told you that. Then, it gradually became apparent (then finally explicit) that your wife has not told you she's doing that, but you know about it for other reasons.

.... [or] refer to him as her boyfriend.

In that case, refer to him as something else.

I love her.

That's definitely a plus.

I have been in this FLR lifestyle for a while now, it just seems to be all set up for them to cheat.

An FLR makes it easier for a married woman to take lovers with the acquiescence and agreement of her husband, since she is, in effect, the head of her household, but trying to be secretive and non-communicative about it tends to cause anger and resentment — which is what you're experiencing.

 

[rudder]

I work too much. We don't really share much about what we do at work. When we're together we really are happy.

It's a lot worse than I thought, and her job and her hobbies don't help.

There is this lifestyle with weightlifting and bodybuilding like she does. They show off their bodies... and that does not help.

She is seeing other people, and I think it's more than just who i caught her with. He was upset with her for a while, I think the reason why is that she saw someone else.

I do her nails every other Sunday. I plan to talk to her this Sunday about all this.

I love her. I just did not plan on her living this ... whatever it is.

 

[Vancity]

My wife and I married young, a while back. I fell in love with her, we were both very young, she was 19 I was 20. We have great sex, great conversation and she suggested I read "Love and Obey" (Which I think is alright, just very repetitive) and "Turning point". This was like maybe 4 years ago? Since then I liked the whole FLR thing in our relationship. She is my queen and we are happy.

My wife is very athletic, she played soccer in high school and college. When she graduated we moved to a big city in Arizona where we are today, I have a very good job and I love it. I also make my queens life at home great. We have someone to help us every Thursday clean the house, the help mostly does all our laundry, and I keep the house clean most of the time. I have followed Marissa Rudders books, (I have not read the other books....) at any rate I have been conditioned after 4 years of FLR/FLM to feel a sense of reverence for my wife. I do look forward to pleasing her, and although difficult at first to find a way to make this new approach work, I mean the affirmations and me bowing down and kissing her feet had us both laughing hysterically at first. Over time they did become less weird and more ritual. She has been very good at the authors approach of being "A good Queen". She has me longing for her body all the time. I have learned to do her nails really well and lately she even had a gorgeous friend of hers come over and I did her nails, and the strangest thing, I was in reverence of her friend and so aroused. So I liked serving my woman and women in general. So beautiful and gorgeous... I felt that pleasuring and pleasing women was my calling!

A little over three years ago my wife had a boob job. They look fantastic and it helped her with her confidence, I can tell you it was really cool seeing her change her wardrobe. I did feel our relationship changed a little after that. She was a little more impatient about things, we fought at times, because of her impatience but I never broke the promise I made her to treat her like my goddess, my queen. She is my queen and like I said she is really good at satisfying my need for her attention, although she makes me wait alot... lol. I think that is what that stupid chastity cage is for or represents... We don't use one, she just asks me all the time not to masturbate. She can tell if I do because I cum less. When I come it's buckets and that is what she loves, so when I do not and when I can't hold it and come before she wants me too she gets so upset with me.... lol

So now I find myself in a bit of a catch 22. I have done everything "right" it seems. ... except nothing was to prepare me for her cheating on me. I am devastated. I never agreed to that... when we spoke about it, she kind of brushed it off. And maybe it wouldnt be so bad but she was all into that guy for a while. She was discrete, thank god, and the FLR in our relationship ensured I knew right away of the affair (I wash her delicates, I take her shoes off when she comes home, etc) and to tell you the truth she could tell I was a little upset, and she would do things on purpose... tell me to do things BECAUSE I was upset, and because I had done them with pleasure for FOUR freakin years I would do them and if I gave her an impression that I was still angry she would tell me to do something else....

She goes to the gym religiously. So she hangs out with these meatheads. I meet them occasionally, and they don't know I know about them and my wife.

I at this moment don't know about my relationship with my wife. I am 27... and I am still madly in love with her and she is great when she and I are together.... and i did this to myself possibly?

I think you have an ideal situation. Most men would love this!

 

[Custer Laststand]

..... I do [my wife's] nails every other Sunday. I plan to talk to her this Sunday about all this.

How did your conversation with your wife go yesterday (Sun. 10 July 2022), rudder, about her extramarital sexual adventures?

 

[rudder]

My wife is a swinger. "Love and Obey"....

"Sex is good for us." Came up.

So am I allowed to have sex with other women? "No, because you belong to me."

I am still processing all of this. According to her, she has been having sex the whole time. "I thought you knew"
I asked her if she was happy.
"Yes! And you are my man, you make me happy." She asked me if I was happy... all I could muster was "yes"

How many ? Who ? Why?

I really had no clue. How many people know? Why am I writing this in this stupid website, how did I get here. What now?

I love her. What now?

 

[Custer Laststand]

My wife is a swinger. "Love and Obey"....

Good response, on your wife's part.

"Sex is good for us." Came up.

If your wife meant sex with you (which you described as good), plus sex with other men (for her), plus your relationship in other respects (you've said more than once you love her), it sounds like she's right.

So am I allowed to have sex with other women? "No, because you belong to me."

Your wife has it right. You're in an FLR marriage.

I am still processing all of this. According to her, she has been having sex the whole time. "I thought you knew."

By "having sex" I gather your wife meant "having sex with other men." Sounds like she was telling you that has always been a natural aspect of her life, and she assumed you knew that.

I asked her if she was happy.
"Yes! And you are my man, you make me happy."

Good. You should take your wife's word for that.

She asked me if I was happy... all I could muster was "yes"

Also good. That was an appropriate reply on your part.

How many ? Who ? Why?

Too many questions.

I really had no clue. How many people know?

Recognize there are some other people who know your wife fucks other men — those she interacts with at her gym (obviously), plus some others (probably). That's OK.

Why am I writing this in this stupid website?

That's for you to answer.

I love her. What now?

Recognize your expectation that your wife will be sexually faithful to you because she's married to you is an expression of the ancient Judeo-Christian tradition that a married woman is the property of her husband. And, recognize that was then, this now. Recognize that your wife is not your possession, like your TV set or your refrigerator. Rather, your wife is a person in her own right. If she wants to have sexual relationships with other men, while having a loving relationship with you as her husband, which you acknowledge and reciprocate — that is her right and privilege.

 

[rudder]

She is the love of my life. I take really good care of her. She could have told me.

She is happy and healthy. She is not into drugs. She lives with me. It is still difficult to accept, and I was happier not knowing.... I think.

I find it hard to accept who she is choosing to have sex with. To spend time with them and not me.

 

[rudder]

I blame Marisa Rudder. Who in their right minds would want this....

 

[Custer Laststand]

....... Who in their right mind would want this?

A woman with a sex drive stronger than can be satisfied by any one man. And, as you may recall, you said you're a workaholic.

 

[Capt. Ron]

I blame Marisa Rudder. Who in their right minds would want this....

It’s time to go.

 

[rudder]

So after a hard breakup and time to heal, we are back together. I love her.

She is a slut. (She told me the difference between a slut and a *****. That the ***** does it for money.)

She likes men with big cocks.

She likes black men

She'll let a woman eat her out.

and those are her sexual revelations. Her personal ones were more endearing.
So we both have a difference in sexual views. We have alot of other things in common.

Were back together for good. And have managed to work out our differences.

She is hot. She seems to grow with every passing year. She is an incredible person. Lots of people think so.

So. Here we are.