Thanks Mac for your reply. This lifestyle presents with complex dynamics between the couples practicing it, and just as you are exploring and playing out those dynamics with your wife, I equally, am exploring it, but from a different angle, and I am unsure as to your cognition of that angle.
To some extent, an extent to which I can possibly gleam not only from the postings in this forum, which is not my only avenue of exploration of abberrated psycho-sexual lifestyles, but other sources as well, my delving into these matters find its origin in the destruction of the relationship between two very close friends of mine who simply skirted the lifestyle with devastating results.
I am not out to 'fix' anyone, nor am I seeking to prohibit anyone from following this lifestyle. No. I want to understand where the psycho-sexual spark to place oneself into the lifestyle comes from. The destruction of my friend's relationship (decades ago) left me with a profound sense of its loss, and I was not the only one (other than the couple themselves) touched and shattered by it. Following sociological research on psycho-sexual dynamics, which has improved its knowledge base and uncovered some amazing discoveries over the years, makes for some very uncomfortable and distressing reading. I can appreciate that my postings will ruffle a few feathers, and make some members uncomfortable, but I am certainly not here simply because I am amused by it all...far from it. I suppose I am the proverbial voice that shouts out..."But he is naked. He isn't wearing any clothes!", and you cannot get more alpha than that.
...in which I've actually discouraged members from cuckolding.
Certainly commendable, and to be encouraged, but ultimately, the responsibility of one's own actions rests entirely upon the shoulders of each individual. From the moment we awaken from sleep, each of us send out ripples of influence that dynamically impact upon others, as they do upon us, but most the time we are ******* of the effects of those impacts, whose consequences are felt broadly and wide, spilling out into the social environment with both positive and negative aspects.
I am not a person to allow ignorance to be a buffer against self-responsibility and consequence. I believe entirely that if a person causes or plays a part in the harm or suffering of another, then that person should be ******* to it, and undergo experiential gnosis of it. How else are we to bring about positive behavioural changes towards each other? If you were about to commit an act, ******* of its negative impact, but have its effect visited upon you in rebound, would you still go ahead and commit the act, or would you adapt it towards a positive consequence? For the survival of our species, we must each become aware of how we impact and affect others through our daily lives...it really is that important. Currently, we are ignoring these aspects for the sake of tasting hedonistic flavours.
My wife of 17 years, and I, began our relationship at college in promiscuity, participating in 3-somes (both MMF & MFF) and couples activities several times, so we don't consider these activities now, as a violation of our commitments to each other. If anything, with 2 children at home, our bond, to each other, has actually strengthened. I, personally, am just glad I have a woman that isn't a prudish bitch about sexual exploration or discussion of bizarre sex acts.
I am tempted to break this down, but it would be unfair of me. The fact that you both began your relationship in promiscuity (and I thank you for your honesty) nails the issue right away. There's nothing of the bond of monogamy in your relationship, where love and jealousy are twinned in explosive passion to cement yourselves to each other. There may be a bond between you, but as far as I can see, it is not derivative on love, but nothing more than practical necessity (2 children?). Could you both stop living the hedonistic lifestyle you currently do, and settle down to a singular, monogamous relationship; not temporarily, but for the rest of your lives? Your answer will tell you how much 'genuine' love and commitment is involved in your relationship. I would wager that one of you couldn't?
If you consider sex outside of marriage wrong, that's fine, but this group doesn't care to discuss your position here.
I don't consider marriage as anything but a social tradition. What I do consider wrong, hurtful and destructive, is sex outside the bond of commitment to each other. Purely for hedonistic tastings, monogamy receives wrongful criticism, yet it remains the most stable platform by which our species perpetuates. The monogamous bond is far more rewarding and fulfilling than having many sex partners, but as you began in promiscuity, live in promiscuity, you have denied yourselves the experience of it: ergo, be under no illusion, you and your wife are bonded by nothing more than hedonism. I congratulate you both, you have been living the psycho-sexual dynamics of prehistoric man, which is some achievement by a 21st century couple.
I noticed you referred to my wife's sexual engagements with other men as cheating ... and acts of encouraged infidelity.
By what other definition can it be referenced? Yet, she is not alone in this, you actively participate. You both agree to delude yourselves that it is not 'cheating', but perhaps to be persons of self-liberated enlightenment? There is a form of reductive compartmentalisation going on in your psychologies, without which, your activities would destroy you both, especially so should the compartments ever be assimilated into a singular psychological focus.