Feeling a little insane

[randythecuck]

Wow, all I can say, is what a difference a year makes.
My wife, turned 41 in June, and after trying to get her to date other men,
(she always said no, or gave me the "look") two weeks ago, she suggested we go and get ice cream.
I really didnt want to go, but drove down to the baskin robbins store anyway.
We were sitting outside, at a table, when she dropped the bomb on me.
"Is it still ok if I want to date other men?"
Well, I just sat there looking at her, my mind going crazy.
She said, "never mind", and looked away.
I felt red in the face and hot, quezy, sick, excited, angry, happy, etc, etc.
I said, (like an idiot) "someone here? right now?", and like a fool whipped my head around.
She looked at me like I was from another planet, and said, "no, no one here, I was just curious if you still wanted me to date other men."
I said, "yes, I do. who is it?" (stupid question, and timing, I know)
She said, that I didnt know him, but she wanted to know if it was ok, if she dated him.
I was sitting there, my stomach churning, watching her. (I didnt want to screw this up, since I had almost given up on the idea, and couldnt think of anything to say.) I just kept nodding like an idiot, and probably had a stupid smile on my face, but inside.... well, you know.
She finished her ice cream, and I couldnt finish mine, so threw it away. I walked back to her, she was still sitting on the bench. and of course, continued my stupid questions.
Who is it? Do I know him? etc., of course she had answered them earlier, but I was an idiot, and kept asking, anyway. (I got the "look", and shut up) We drove back home, both of us quiet, and she went into our backroom/office and graded papers and worked on her planner for the next day) I sat in the living room, trying to watch tv, but kept thinking about what she had said, and what I should have said, but didnt. (and the crap I did say, and shouldnt have. worried that I had screwed it up)
She finished in the office, and walked out to go to bed, and said that we will talk more about this later. (it turned out to be a few days later)
My wife is an elementary school teacher, (fourth grade), and the first few weeks of the school season, she had met some of the parents of the kids in the school, and had been asked by one of them, (a single dad, I have found out) to tutor his son, (who is in 6th grade) They are both new to the school, and his son was having some problems in math, and geography. (My wife's major was in math, so she agreed to help him.) She has been going to his home on Saturdays to help with his work.
For three days, she didnt bring it up again, and I was afraid to say anything, (and even thought that it was dream I had), but then one night, she came into the living room, and sat down, and said "we have to talk". I turned off the tv, and sat there, my heart beating so fast, I felt lightheaded.
She asked me again, "do you still want me to date other men?" I said, yes, this time quickly, and I was afraid it was too quick. (damn, I was still acting stupid)
She then told me that I didnt know him, but that he was the father of the student she was tutoring, and she found him interesting, and would like to know him better. She told me that they were divorced, and the mother lived in Phoenix, (up the road from us), and that the father had custody of
the son. She asked me what I thought about her dating this father, this man.
I was conflicted, but told her that I wanted her to be happy, and that it was fine with me.
She asked me what I wanted out of this, if she did it. I started off with her being happy, and having fun, living life.. etc, the stupid things, but she asked me, if she dated this guy, would I want to date other women? I (stupidly) said of course not, I love her, and wanted her to be happy, and live her life... etc., the stupid stuff I had already said. she gave me the "look", and I thought that I had screwed it up, again...
She said yes of course, she knew that I loved her, and that she loved me, but wanted to know what I wanted out of this. (I wasnt sure where to go with that, so I asked, what do you mean?)
She said, "I have seen some of the sites, that you sent to me", (I had pretended to be someone else on the internet, with a different address, and had sent her some information about cuckolding, and I guess it wasn't too hard to guess it was me, and she now confronted me with it..) Damn, I am stupid stupid stupid.
I got embarrassed, but didnt try and get out of it.. so, just sat there like an idiot.
She asked me," what, you want humiliation? to dress up in womens clothing, to watch, to clean me afterwards, like on those websites, what is it you want?"
I was beet red, and embarressed, again. I sat there as she looked at me. I didnt know what to say.
The "thinking about it" was different from being "asked about it" by my wife. I just sat there.
I couldnt believe after all of this time, my wife was asking me about this, and I think (I know) she was serious.
"I dont know", was all I could think of saying. I dont know. After all of this time, thinking, reading, fantasing about it, I didnt know what I wanted. (This is something for others to think about before going to far with this.. just a note to others.)
She asked me again, what I wanted out of this.
"I told her, that I wanted her to still love me, and that I would like to stay married to her, then she laughed, not cruel, but just humorous, and she said, of course we will stay married, and yes I still love you, but what do you want, how can I make this better for you? She was so warm, I almost
cried. I think I did tear up a little.
I shook my head, and just muttered, I dont know. over and over.
She said, "ok, then, the rules will be made up by me, is that ok?" I just nodded my head like an idiot. She said, ok, then, she will think up some rules, and we will put them together. (we who, I thought) Us, I asked, you and me? she said, well, all of us, all three of us. I was spinning, my
mind was going crazy. I asked her if this guy, knew about me, and she said yes, he knows I am married. He doesnt know you though. In fact, she said he doesnt know that this is what I wanted, but she was going to approach him about it that Saturday, after tutoring his son. My mind was crazy
again. What had I got myself into? She said, "ok, then, any questions?" I said no, and she said, "ok, we wont talk about this again, until I am ready to talk about it", and got up, and went to the bedroom to get ready for bed. I sat on the couch, thinking about all of the things I didnt say, but wanted to say.
What an idiot.
I wondered what this guy was like. What he looked like. (I even drove to the school as it let out one day, and watched my wife with all of the kids and parents. childish I know, but still didnt find out who he was.)
I was worried that the kid would say something to the other teachers, about my wife, and his dad, making life very difficult for her, maybe causing her to lose her job. so many questions, and I hadnt asked them.
I was aroused thinking about my wife and this guy, and I thought about them together all of the time. I would see my wife at school, and think about her with another man, and become aroused again. (I thought I was a sick, sick, perverted individual). then thought about them somemore.
Today, she came home, I was in the garage, straighing it up, she got out of the car, smiled at me, asked how my day was, I told her fine, and asked about her day, she said fine, but before walking into the house, she said,"I talked to D (that is what I will call him), and he said that we will work on the rules for you this Saturday", and walked into the house. I was and still am, stunned.
After all of this time, the thinking what this would be like, I hadn't expected this. I guess I didnt know what to expect, really. She is upstairs sleeping, and I am still here, wondering, and worrying.
Is this normal? Am I normal? Do I really want to do this?
sorry this is so long, but I had to tell someone, and could only think of this group. Has anyone else gone thru these feelings that I am going thru? I would really like to know that I am still

sane.
Randy

 

[OneForSure]

Randy,
Yes, you are still sane. The reality IS different from the fantasy, but you get arroused when you are thinking about your wife with another man, so go for it!

You are losing some control since the rules are being made for you, but that's part of the fun! Dwell on the pleasure your wife will get out of the sex she'll be enjoying, and enjoy being a cuck!

 

[becontree2001uk]

Of course you want it! Sit back and enjoy your wife cuckolding you - keep us updated and if you can post some pics of your beautiful wife

 

[BostonCuck1970]

Just do it and when she comes home from her date things will be exciting again.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Your wife is in control & is a wise woman. Continue to let her lead you....

Randy,

Good choice of name, BTW. Regarding your post:

She then told me that I didnt know him, but that he was the father of the student she was tutoring, and she found him interesting, and would like to know him better. She told me that they were divorced, and the mother lived in Phoenix, (up the road from us), and that the father had custody of the son. She asked me what I thought about her dating this father, this man.

This sounds like a near-ideal lover for your wife. He's responsible, at least to the extent he wants his son to do well in school, and he's unlikely to pose a physical danger to her, because she's a teacher in a school where his son is a student. (But your wife should, of course, take the usual precautions to verify he's "clean" of STDs.)

I was conflicted, but told her that I wanted her to be happy and that it was fine with me.

Excellent! That was the right response. You rose to the occasion.

She asked me what I wanted out of this, if she did it. .... She said yes of course, she knew that I loved her, and that she loved me, but wanted to know what I wanted out of this. (I wasnt sure where to go with that, so I asked, what do you mean?)

That was a very reasonable question on your wife's part. She appears to be in control. Your response, by contrast, was obviously a delaying tactic.

She said, "I have seen some of the sites, that you sent to me", (I had pretended to be someone else on the internet, with a different address, and had sent her some information about cuckolding, and I guess it wasn't too hard to guess it was me, and she now confronted me with it..)

Very good! Your wife is perceptive, more perceptive than you thought. She understands, it would appear, some of the things about you that you secretly wanted her to understand.

Damn, I am stupid stupid stupid. I got embarrassed, but didnt try and get out of it.. so, just sat there like an idiot.

No, no, you aren't stupid and you aren't an idiot.... at least, as far as I can tell from your post. It seems evident you're very embarrassed about your own sexuality, though, and feel very hesitant and awkward about expressing and discussing your innermost desires with the one person in the world who most needs to understand them.

She asked me,"what, you want humiliation? to dress up in womens clothing, to watch, to clean me afterwards, like on those websites, what is it you want?"

Ah.... your wife definitely took the lead and put you in the position of having to respond to a *very* awkward question. That's good for her, very positive.... and it will be good for you, as well, although you don't appear to realize it yet — that is, in the sense that this is likely to lead to fulfillment of your innermost sexual desires AND increased — perhaps greatly increased — sexual satisfaction for your wife.

I was beet red, and embarressed again. I sat there as she looked at me. I didn't know what to say. .... She asked me again, what I wanted out of this. I told her, that I wanted her to still love me, and that I would like to stay married to her, then she laughed, not cruel, but just humorous, and she said, of course we will stay married, and yes I still love you, but what do you want, how can I make this better for you? She was so warm, I almost cried. I think I did tear up a little.

Your wife is very kind in her domination of you. She is using "loving female authority," as it's called, very effectively with you.

I shook my head, and just muttered, I don't know. over and over.

That's OK. Let your wife guide you in this, as she is doing.

She said, "ok, then, the rules will be made up by me, is that ok?" I just nodded my head like an idiot.

Very good. That was the right response. But you aren't an idiot. It will be helpful if you can get away from thinking of yourself in that way. In terms of what you want vis-a-vis your wife, you are a rational man and you should begin learning to think of yourself as such.

She said, ok, then, she will think up some rules, and we will put them together.

That was exactly the right response. Your wife is moving forward in real time with taking control of her marriage (i.e., of you).

.... (we who, I thought) Us, I asked, you and me? she said, well, all of us, all three of us.

Better still. The depth of your wife's understanding of you is also increasing in real time. (Elementary school teachers, BTW, are very good with the concept of "rules.")

.... I asked her if this guy knew about me, and she said yes, he knows I am married. He doesnt know you though. In fact, she said he doesnt know that this is what I wanted, but she is going to approach him about it this Saturday after tutoring his son. .... She said, "ok, then, any questions?" I said no, and she said, "ok, we wont talk about this again, until I am ready to talk about it." She got up and went to the bedroom to get ready for bed.

*Excellent*! Your wife is definitely moving you directly toward the position she wants you in: i.e., she wants you to be her submissive cuckold.

I sat on the couch, thinking about all of the things I didnt say, but wanted to say. .... I would see my wife at school, and think about her with another man, and become aroused again. (I thought I was a sick, sick, perverted individual).

No, no, you aren't sick and you aren't perverted. You are your wife's submissive cuckold-in-waiting, and it seems clear now you don't have much longer to wait.

Today she came home; I was in the garage straightening it up. She got out of the car, smiled at me and asked how my day was. I told her fine, and asked about her day. She said fine, but before walking into the house she said,"I talked to D (that is what I will call him), and he said that we will work on the rules for you this Saturday," then walked into the house.

Good. "D" is on board.

I was, and still am, stunned.

Don't be. This is every indication this is going to go very smoothly for you.

After all of this time, thinking what this would be like, I hadn't expected this. I guess I didn't know what to expect, really. She is upstairs sleeping, and I am still here, wondering and worrying.

It's normal to wonder, certainly, but don't worry. Your wife is a very kind, competent, intelligent woman and she loves you. She is "in control" (as men like to say), and I think that if you continue to let her lead you, you will find this will work out well for both of you.

Is this normal? Am I normal?

Yes, this is normal and you are normal.

Do I really want to do this?

I think the train has already left the station and, although you may not fully appreciate it yet, you are on board.

Sorry this is so long, but I had to tell someone and could only think of this group.

Hey, don't worry about it. Your post is not over long, and your concerns are what this forum is all about. I hope you'll write back and keep us updated.

Best wishes to you and your wife—

Custer

 

[Custer Laststand]

How's it going, Randy?

Randy,

.... Today, she came home, I was in the garage, straightening it up, she got out of the car, smiled at me, asked how my day was, I told her fine, and asked about her day, she said fine, but before walking into the house, she said,"I talked to D (that is what I will call him), and he said that we will work on the rules for you this Saturday", and walked into the house. ....

Well, yesterday was Saturday. How are you doing? Did your wife go to "D's" home to tutor his son, then afterwards did she and he make up some rules for you? I Hope you have regained (or are regaining) your sense of sanity....

Regards—

Custer

 

[OneForSure]

Randy,
It's been a while since you posted. Have your wife and D gone through with making the rules you talked about? If so, what are they?

Are you still just hopeful, or are you among those of us who are full-fledged cuckolds?

Please let us know!

 

[cuckbook]

Randy,

Don't worry about it. I would imagine that she's probably been into the thought of doing it for a while, bhut was scared that you would want other women while she had other men.

Just relax and let her take control, it'll be fine. I had the same fears and worries about being normal and stuff. Ic ouldn't imagine vanilla life, and without cuckolding I don't think my marriage would last a long time, it's brought us closer together.

I love my wife more now than I ever have, and she loves me more than ever now too.

 

[Puller]

I think this story has been through here before, at least I seem to know exactly what happens next, and can even say what some people in here commented! )

 

[cuckbook]

Thats seriously annoying when people do that - just come in and interrogate our lifestyle life that.

Arrrrrgggghhhhh

 

[randythecuck]

well, I thought....

Hi,
Well, I thought that I was "uninvited" as they say, since a few people here commented negativly about my last post. (and the ability to get on this site is difficult, or at least for me it is... keep getting a message that the site is down, or can not be found... anyway)
Yes, my wife and "D" are still friends, or lovers, or whatever, and yes, I am still wearing the panties, and yes, I think I am dealing with it better now, at least I seem to be, the stomach churns are going away little by little, and no, I have not to date, been able to "clean my wife after her and "D" have had sex". I just cant seem to bring myself to do it... I just get that feeling... you know? ... and NO.... "D" hasnt made me suck him, or used my ass". I don't expect any thing like that to happen. He is (or seems to be) satisfied with my wife, and acutally is quite pleasant to me, almost friendly, but with some reservations.... cant quite put my finger on it, but almost like a brother, or something. Friendly, but alloof....
Well, there is more, but with the comments I got last time, I assumed that I was unwelcome, (even though all I did was post the truth... ) oh well.
I may come back now and then, but , well, it seems rather "cold" in here, and I felt it better to back away slowly, and not get into a Pissing contest here... (I find that since my wife and "D" have been together, I am more passive in my life, I guess that is to be expected as well?? I dont know.)
Anyway, have a good holiday season.
Randy

I think Arizonahopeful's off on another excursion, guys! He was probably just passing through the site and decided to lay some perverted writings on us ... LOL! Maybe jerk his own chain a bit. Happens all the time, afterall, this is a good place to lay out your fantasies.

What's really funny is when someone goes back and picks up a 1 or 2 year old thread and everyone starts writing to this long gone person like he placed his comments yesterday!

 

[fk2546]

Not sure why some people want to flame someone for not continuing to post on a regular basis. Some people have lives and get busy at times.
I thought your thread was well written and very believeable. I was looking forward to how your situation progressed.

 

[randythecuck]

thank you

Thank you. I don't understand why either. I do know that I post the truth, the "real deal", and get hate email, and postings that claim that I am "telling stories", etc., At first I was only looking to see if my feelings were in keeping with the norm, or what. No, I am not telling "stories", or on adventures, etc., and I am in no way condoning involving children in any of this. My wife and I do not have children, and I feel secure that no children will be involved, (unless my wife gets pregnant). I apologise to anyone who felt that I was trying to involve children in this. I hope all have a happy holiday season, and as my New Years resolution, I will try and be more circumspect in my writings about my "new life". (I would also like to at least once, try some of the things that other people here, are doing.
Happy Holidays
Randy

Not sure why some people want to flame someone for not continuing to post on a regular basis. Some people have lives and get busy at times.
I thought your thread was well written and very believeable. I was looking forward to how your situation progressed.

 

[mrock]

hello

can you post a few pic. of your sexy wife

 

[Saraha]

Arizonahopeful, the doubters will re-discover your integrity in the fullness of time, providing you post at least twice a week.

The wedding vows are to be overturned to align with the new freedoms you have offered your wife. I am curious to know what her and her boyfriend have decided the new rules will be.

 

[randythecuck]

Hi, thanks

Hi,
I dont know if I can post at least twice a week. I will try. New Years resolution, along with a few others that I am willing to try.
As far as pictures... well, I would post a few of her, that "D" took on their trip to Scottsdale, but can't find the place to post them, or how. so some help here would be appreciated.
The rules that we all thought up, (yes, I had a small say in them) are pretty easy.
I wear panties:
"D" can come and go as he pleases, and has a key and the security code:
My wife, Becky, has the freedom to be with "D", and there are no questions on my part. (She does let me know where she is, and that she is safe, so I can rest easy on that. "D" is very nice to her, and is "ok" with me, as I posted earlier, he is more aloof than anything else. He has the run of the house though, and I find myself just staying out of his way, but if he wants to watch something on the tv, he just changes the channel.. no matter what I am or was watching.)
I have a more active role in the house work, laundry, cleaning, etc.
I pay (I think, more than my fair share) of any expenses when they go and do things together, trips, dinners, etc... From reading this board, I find that to be the case with most guys in this lifestyle..
"D" is pretty much the alpha guy here, in my house, and my wife even discuss the problems around the house, her work, general day to day things with him, and as a "second thought" with me... (Is this normal also? I dont know)
When "D" visits, I have to stay on the couch, not the guest bedroom, which is all the way away from the master bedroom, and I usually hear what is happening in the master bedroom since the living room is closer.
If I have to go into the master bedroom while he is here, I have to knock first, and get permission to go in.
I have seen them in the bed together twice, once when I had to get a book, and once Becky called me in, to show me what they had done. (I hadnt seen her this happy in a long time, so I guess I am doing the right thing.)
"D" was caressing her breast, and Becky showed me what he had done, and did offer to let me taste, (I couldnt bring myself to do it though, and "D" and Becky laughed, as I backed out of the room.) Very humiliating.
I have been to a party that "D" and her were invited too, and saw how they interact. It is almost as if they are married, touching, laughing, etc., but the other people at the party knew what was what, and I am sure I was the subject of much talk after we left. (I havent joined them on anything else since.)
I do hear her and "D" talk on the phone, when they cant be together, and Becky doesnt try to hide it, but when she talks to him, teases him, on the phone, she watches my every expression, and really plays it up.
When "D" doesnt stay over, I can sleep in the master bedroom, but as far as sex with my wife.... that doesnt happen. I am masterbating usually after finding her panties in the hamper. She doesnt know, of if she does, doesnt care or say anything.
I know I am happy for her, but still have the "stomach churns" when "D" is here, or out with her. She tells me a little about what they do, but mostly just smiles, and continues on.
I guess I am still married, but not the husband, just the provider.

Arizonahopeful, the doubters will re-discover your integrity in the fullness of time, providing you post at least twice a week.

The wedding vows are to be overturned to align with the new freedoms you have offered your wife. I am curious to know what her and her boyfriend have decided the new rules will be.

 

[plzcukme]

Thanks for the updates. Would love to here more. I am a believer. Forget about the negative responses. Thanks again.

 

[OneForSure]

Great update.

Being the provider is a good role to be in, and it is particularly good to see that you are in panties. I know that wearing panties keep reminding me of my place, particularly when I have to sit to pee and others are using a urinal.

Congratulations on how far you have come!

 

[jeffisBIGGER]

fantastic

she is beautiful, I envy your position. I have told my wife she is not into it---yet. Hope to be in your shoes one day. Any advice would be welcome or if you ever want a cuckwannabe to chat

 

[fk2546]

Becky is a very sexy looking woman, nice to know she is receiving the sexual pleasure she desires. If she and "D" ever part ways I am sure she will find another lover, if she hasn't already started looking.