Excited but also hesitant

[Mahogany]

Hi,

I’ve posted before about my situation but contending with something new I’ve been going back & forth with.

3 years ago, my wife cheated on me at a wedding I wasn’t at, and I went from masturbating imagining her with the guy, to out of nowhere, becoming curious about giving a BJ.

I began corresponding with a man on the west coast & when he was out here for work last year, we met up & gave my 1st BJ.

Still curious, I met him the next time he was in town, but that time, per his instruction, I dressed like a girl & made myself up to try and look like my wife.

The experiences of submitting & feminizing myself before a more dominant man on one hand, have freaked me out at times i.e. made me question my sanity, while at other times, turn me on remembering.

This Fall, I thought things with my wife had improved, and it felt at times, like the curiosity was a thing of the past.

But then this Thanksgiving, she flew back home (to our home state) & I confirmed the guy from the wedding was also there & she very likely was cuckolding me again.

So, in the last few weeks, I started corresponding again with the west coast guy I again. His job changed so even before covid, he doesn’t travel out here anymore for business.

I told him how the experience still resonates and he’s since replied that he may have a long weekend in April or May, and that he’d be willing to fly out here & pay for his hotel.

I never suggested he come out here & never expected him to pay airfare to see me, and the idea of another man flying out to see me is also weird & novel for me.

Still, if he told me he’d bought the tickets, I would soon be dressing up as a girl in the mirror in preparation.

But what’s giving me pause, is there are a few expectations that he said he will have, given that he’d be paying a lot just to come out & see me.

In general, I’m good with everything except swallowing at least once (would be my 1sttime) & letting him meet my wife in person while he’s out here.

He basically wants me take my wife to a restaurant/bar & he’d pretend to know me from somewhere else, and he’d hang out with us for one drink, 10-15 minutes.

He said my wife will never know anything, and that at most he’ll do is flirt with her for a minute.

While part of me is weirdly turned on by it & the risk, I’m equally scared by such a meeting, no matter how quick. Like I feel my wife would be able to pick up on my submissive body language around him or something else would have her wondering.

And while I can agree to arranging for him to meet her now, I can’t say I won’t want to back out later.

I could totally see freaking out a day or an hour before, and saying I can’t bring her, that I can’t deal with kind of risk.

But then I picture his WTF reaction & the reminder of our deal & how much he paid to come out here.

So, I’m torn between agreeing to everything but meeting her, or taking the risk & maybe add to the next day thrill when I’m on my knees again.

Sorry, in advance, as I know this all sounds F’d up…& the old me would be like so WTF…

But any thoughts, I’m all ears…

 

[h5t6ca]

Do it!!!

The fist step has already been taken, by you and she

 

[SquirmingSub]

@Mahogany

I sent you a message as really a continuation of our prior discussion on the topic, thank you for providing an update on what is going on these days.

 

[JoeMac]

If you are ok with your wife thinking you are a bi cross dresser, then do it.

There is no way to trust this guy.

Maybe you want to be outed, revenge on her?

Only you can make this decision, knowing the options.

 

[RockHER]

Hi,

I’ve posted before about my situation but contending with something new I’ve been going back & forth with.

3 years ago, my wife cheated on me at a wedding I wasn’t at, and I went from masturbating imagining her with the guy, to out of nowhere, becoming curious about giving a BJ.

I began corresponding with a man on the west coast & when he was out here for work last year, we met up & gave my 1st BJ.

Still curious, I met him the next time he was in town, but that time, per his instruction, I dressed like a girl & made myself up to try and look like my wife.

The experiences of submitting & feminizing myself before a more dominant man on one hand, have freaked me out at times i.e. made me question my sanity, while at other times, turn me on remembering.

This Fall, I thought things with my wife had improved, and it felt at times, like the curiosity was a thing of the past.

But then this Thanksgiving, she flew back home (to our home state) & I confirmed the guy from the wedding was also there & she very likely was cuckolding me again.

So, in the last few weeks, I started corresponding again with the west coast guy I again. His job changed so even before covid, he doesn’t travel out here anymore for business.

I told him how the experience still resonates and he’s since replied that he may have a long weekend in April or May, and that he’d be willing to fly out here & pay for his hotel.

I never suggested he come out here & never expected him to pay airfare to see me, and the idea of another man flying out to see me is also weird & novel for me.

Still, if he told me he’d bought the tickets, I would soon be dressing up as a girl in the mirror in preparation.

But what’s giving me pause, is there are a few expectations that he said he will have, given that he’d be paying a lot just to come out & see me.

In general, I’m good with everything except swallowing at least once (would be my 1sttime) & letting him meet my wife in person while he’s out here.

He basically wants me take my wife to a restaurant/bar & he’d pretend to know me from somewhere else, and he’d hang out with us for one drink, 10-15 minutes.

He said my wife will never know anything, and that at most he’ll do is flirt with her for a minute.

While part of me is weirdly turned on by it & the risk, I’m equally scared by such a meeting, no matter how quick. Like I feel my wife would be able to pick up on my submissive body language around him or something else would have her wondering.

And while I can agree to arranging for him to meet her now, I can’t say I won’t want to back out later.

I could totally see freaking out a day or an hour before, and saying I can’t bring her, that I can’t deal with kind of risk.

But then I picture his WTF reaction & the reminder of our deal & how much he paid to come out here.

So, I’m torn between agreeing to everything but meeting her, or taking the risk & maybe add to the next day thrill when I’m on my knees again.

Sorry, in advance, as I know this all sounds F’d up…& the old me would be like so WTF…

But any thoughts, I’m all ears…

It is what it is. You like cock. So surrender like the bitch you dress like.

 

[lnohhnvm]

will you be dressed as a woman if you take the wife to meet him? can you tell us, or PM me, the story of wife cheating at the wedding?

are you ok with him fucking your wife if they meet?

 

[Mahogany]

Sorry for my delay but to quickly follow back up…

If I go ahead & introduce my wife to the guy while he’s here, I would not be dressed as a woman, and I would be looking to make the meeting brief & innocuous.

Yes, I’d be horrified if he were to pull my wife aside & tell her I’ve been blowing him, let alone dressing up & showing pictures of her. But he’s married himself, and wouldn’t have anything to gain by blabbing that to her.

I do think given the opportunity, he’d want to seduce her, and that’s what I’m more concerned about, and why it needs to be a 10-minute quick small-talk kind of thing.

My curiosity had been diminishing this fall, but after she cheated & the west coast guy and I started emailing, I do have a slight compulsion about trying it one more time & a curiosity about pushing things mentally just a little more.

If there was no expectation of meeting my wife, I’d have no hesitancy, and would seize the day this one more time.

He says that meeting my wife will just add to the overall thrill when being with me, and that it will be a secret we’ll both be keeping from her.

For me, regrettably at times, the secret and risk kind of add to the mental excitement. My wife told me the first time she cheated, but she’s been secret about meeting him over Thanksgiving.

So there’s also there’s weird impulse of wanting to out-slut her, like I’ve got my own frigging secret, which would blow hers away.

But everything about life has been pretty conservative, friends/family view me as 100% hetero, normal, normal job, to the point of being boring etc.

I don’t trust the west coast guy in the sense that I’d never leave him alone with my wife, but I trust him to at least act normal around her (i.e. not blowing my cover), and if I have a quick exit strategy, I’m more wondering how much damage could really be done.

And given that he’s paying a lot in airfare/hotel, I do feel a certain obligation to agree to a quick meeting. And part of me thinks he’s being mostly sincere about it adding to the thill afterwards. Like I think it would heighten the next day’s BJ for him, and add to the cuckold feeling for me.

I realize there’s a risk, and that he could leave an impression on my wife, but I’m gaging the risk as small, and wondering, if my desire to experience it one more time, is causing me to under-estimate it.

I still have time to think about more, but I appreciate the comments.

 

[hdguy]

let them meet u never know she might like his cock as much as u do

 

[SquirmingSub]

@Mahogany

Any progress on your exploration with the wife and or with your alpha contact?

 

[lnohhnvm]

i think the fact that you do not trust the guy is all the answer you need. sometimes, you need to listen to that little voice in your head.

 

[Zerbad]

Accept. Submit to him. Let him talk to her for the 10-15 he asked for. Let him do his magic, you hoping somewhere he'll succeed in seducing and fucking your wife. And you'll suck him once again.
Maybe you'll watch him fuck your wife and them suck him clean in front of her.

You want that. Submit to him.

 

[Custer Laststand]

.......... This Thanksgiving, [my wife] flew back home (to our home state), & I confirmed the guy from the wedding was also there, & she very likely was cuckolding me again.

Good for your wife. More power to her.

What’s giving me pause is, there are a few expectations that [my "friend" from the west coast] said he will have, [when he comes to town,] given that he’d be paying a lot [for air fare and a hotel] just to come out & see me. In general, I’m good with everything except swallowing at least once (would be my 1st time), & letting him meet my wife in person while he’s out here. He basically wants me take my wife to a restaurant/bar, & he’d pretend to know me from somewhere else, and he’d hang out with us for one drink, 10-15 minutes. He said my wife will never know anything, and the most he’ll do is flirt with her for a minute. While part of me is weirdly turned on by it & the risk, I’m equally scared by such a meeting, no matter how quick.

Most likely, your "friend" will let you know that unless you give him free rein to date and seduce your wife while he's in town, he will tell her about you dressing up en femme and sucking his cock.

But, your wife has already cuckolded you (with at least one other man) by fucking him on the two occasions you mentioned. If she cuckolds you again by fucking your "friend" from the west coast, your status will not change. You will still be her cuckold.

Thus, I suggest you accept your "friend's" conditions, including meeting him for a drink and introducing him to your wife. You could increase the probability of her meeting him for a tryst, thereby potentially increasing her sexual satisfaction, by finding it necessary to take a whiz during your drink and leaving them together while you depart for the restroom.