Here's a proposed plan of action for your week in Las Vegas.
Hi Ms. Lexxi,
Thanks for your update. You're gradually starting to provide a picture... although it's still far from complete... of the nature of your relationship with your husband.
lexxi said:
Many of you have made mention of the need for communicating, sharing fantasies and talking openly about sex with each other. One thing I've realized since I started posting here, reading your replies, talking via PM's and reading through other threads, is that my husband and I "REALLY SUCK" at that.
I agree with those who have emphasized that communicating with your husband is essential. It seems unlikely to me you'll be able to start him moving toward where you want him to be, so to speak, unless you begin talking with him in ways that cause him to recognize you as a sexual woman. At this point, it doesn't sound to me like he does. You're just the woman he's married to, and he's doing his job as your husband by making love to you in ways that neither of you finds "hot." He probably views it himself as somewhat routine.
lexxi said:
I cannot recall a time when we really even talked about sex other than when we were first starting out with it. It was just a matter of "no, not like that", or "that's it, just like that". Since we got "familiar" with each other in bed, I really don't think we've brought up sex in conversation at all. We just "have it."
There's no need for you to consider that "weird" or unusual in any way. Lots of married couples... the vast majority, I would guess... have sexual relationships essentially just like yours.
lexxi said:
I don't know if it's because we were both inexperienced and therefore maybe "embarrassed" about talking about it, or if it was something else, but this has to change if I'm ever going to succeed in entering this lifestyle.
Yes. Your view of what's required is realistic.
lexxi said:
One of the reasons I have not brought up the "size" thing is, quite frankly, I really don't know how to begin. Talking about sex at all is something we just don't do.
Here's a way to begin. Since today is Aug. 15 and you said you and your husband would be on vacation in Las Vegas this week, view it as a chance to do something new and different. Since you're away from your hometown and the context of your "usual and customary" relationship with your husband, and since being on vacation means it's legitimate to try "new and different things" by definition, you need no excuses. If your husband objects to the following or it seems to make him uncomfortable, or if he seems to consider it "weird," just jolly him along (i.e., don't get irritated or argue with him) and point out the above. In fact, I suggest beginning by pointing out the above.
Then, I suggest telling him that as a new adventure, you want to try pleasuring yourself with a dildo "just to see what it's like." (If you used to do that, say, before you got married, you could maybe not mention that.) Tell him you'd like to go to a sex shop with him and buy one. Try your hardest to inform him of this in a straightforward, factual way with a straight face. Do not look awkward or uncomfortable in any way. Rather, say this to him in a straightforward, factual way in the same way you'd tell him you'd like him to join you to go out and buy a newspaper.
If your husband looks uncomfortable and tells you, directly or indirectly, he doesn't want to accompany you to a sex shop, tell him in that case you're going to do it yourself ("because this is your vacation too, not just his)." You'll find, of course, there is no shortage of sex shops in Las Vegas. To locate one, use the phone-book yellow pages in your hotel room, or go down to the front desk and ask the clerk "straight out" where to find the nearest sex shop. Treat it as an exercise in expressing your new, more-sexual persona... ask the question in a completely straightforward way, using a normal tone of voice (not a whisper).
The dildo you select should meet several criteria: it should be LARGER than your husband's erect cock, be realistic-looking, be a vibrating dildo, and it should be black. Also, buy the lubricant of your choice... say, astroglide. If your husband accompanies you, use the opportunity to look around the sex shop with him and comment on the various toys and other items. If they have porno DVDs, select one and buy that too (or tell don't ask your husband to select one he thinks he might like). If by this time you're feeling bold, give the items you've selected to your husband and, looking slightly mischievous and in a seductive voice, and tell him (don't ask him) to "purchase these for me, darling."
If your husband declines to accompany you to the sex shop, do these things by yourself. Then, when you return to your hotel room, tease him by asking if he "had a good time hiding here in the room by himself." Then, get out your purchases and show them to him.
Later, when you have an opportunity for sex... say, after you come back to your room from dinner, or early the next morning... tell your husband you feel like watching your porno DVD, and put it on. As you watch it, fondle your husband's cock, get him hard and keep him hard, but don't let him cum. If he starts to cum, say "not yet, sweetheart," and squeeze hard at the base of his cock to abort his orgasm.
After the DVD, tell your husband you want to try using your dildo now. Lube it generously, then instruct him to go down on you and suck your clit while he eases it into your vagina (with the vibrator turned on), then instruct him (if necessary) to work it in-and-out as if fucking you (or rather, as if a black man were fucking you) until you orgasm. If he stops too soon, instruct him to "continue, Mr. Big, until I tell you to stop." Finally, after you orgasm at least once (not before), tell him "that's enough now, sugarlips," then instruct him to turn over on his back. (Don't let him climb on top of you.) Then, give him a hand job until he cums. If you feel sufficiently bold, capture his cum in one hand and feed it to him... demand he swallow it "for me, pussylips." Regardless of whether you do this as the finale, tell him afterwards "that's enough for tonight, sweetiebuns." Don't let him penetrate you. If he tries, tell him "uh, uh, sexyboy, not tonight... I want to savor the feeling of the big dildo you just fucked me with. It was nice."
If your husband declines to fuck you with your new dildo, do it yourself, lying in bed on your back with a blissful look on your face and your eyes closed, while ignoring your husband as if he isn't even there.
During the week, the two of you will no doubt have plans to go to a number of shows, etc. As early in the week as possible, tell (don't ask) your husband you'd like to make a change in your plans. You want him to accompany you to a male strip show. (You can find out where they are by asking at the front desk.) As an inducement, tell him you're also willing to accompany him to a female strip show, since you're sure he finds that an attractive idea. (There will be more of those and they'll be easier to find.) If he acquiesces, try to get a seat with a good view and comment to your husband on the sizes of the stripper's cocks. (Don't expect him to say anything in reply... just continue mentioning how impressed you are.)
If your husband looks awkward and embarrassed and doesn't want to accompany you to a male strip show, and if he doesn't accept your "exchange offer" to accompany him to a female strip show (some men don't like to attend such shows, believe it or not), then inform him you're going to attend a male strip show by yourself ("remember, pussylips, this is my vacation too"), and DO IT. That's important. Afterwards, look visibly impressed when you meet him back in your hotel room, and comment on the impressive size of the stripper's cocks.
Throughout your week in Vegas, on every occasion when it's possible to have sex, tell your husband you want him to fuck you with your dildo while he sucks and licks your clitoris. Try to make sure he brings you to orgasm and express great satisfaction each time. Also, try to avoid letting him fuck you... rather, express a strong preference for giving him only hand jobs while you "enjoy the afterglow" of your dildo. Finally, about half-way through the week, tell your husband you'd like him to accompany you to the sex shop again so you can purchase a LARGER (realistic-looking, black, vibrating) dildo, and like before, tell him to make the purchase for you. (If he declines, look visibly displeased.)
Carrying out this vacation program, so to speak, should demonstrate to your husband that you're a sexual woman who likes cocks bigger than his and looking at buff, sensuously-dancing men with large cocks. AND you won't have to awkwardly "talk with him" about sex, something you've never been able to do. Rather, you will *show* him in ways that won't even require his participation if he finds that too embarrassing or awkward.
For the first time, your husband will realize he's married to a sexual woman and he hasn't been providing the sex you require.
It's extremely important, Ms. Lexxi, to take the lead in carrying out your "vacation program"... just as Ms. Cucktail did with her husband, only right now you need to tailor your approach to the LARGE opportunities available in Las Vegas. Also, as noted above, you need to tailor your approach to your husband being unable to talk with you about sex and you being unable to talk with him. Ergo, demonstrate your sexuality to him with your actions.
—Custer
