Can I Be A Perfect Cuckold To My Wife And How?

[Kudalskies]

I thought I was a cuckold until my wife decided to play with a friend of mine without my knowledge. She tried to mention to me she has the huts for him when she met him, but I suggested to her not to and that we should not mess with close friends, she seems to have agreed at the time.

A couple months later I found out she been flirting and playing with him behind my back, which caused me to flip and become very upset. She tried to convince me that I shouldn’t be and should just accept it as part of the cuckold experience. She said it was an ultimate and a hot experience for her to play with him specially that he’s a close friend of mine. Though I found it hot too I still couldn’t accept it, eventually we both called the whole playing and fantasy off. Now our sex life has become yellow, though she seems ok with it, it is killing me.

The thought of being a cuckold to my wife is always on my mind. I feel ready and want to open the subject with her let her know I’m ready to get back into it. I want to let her know that I’m ready and not mind her fuck anyone she wants with, even without my knowledge; how can I be so sure?

After reading and looking up what a cuckold should be which I thought I was, and the fact that a cuckold cannot and should not say no to his cuckoldress when it comes to her sexuality. Is that true?

I must be ready when I try to convince her that I would not do what I did, and that I’m totally ready to be her true cuckold. If she says no, I’m sure she eventually will, she’s only 26 and I know she enjoyed the lifestyle very much. But if she does accept going back into it, would I be able handle being her perfect cuckold and how?

Those of you who are perfectly happy with the lifestyle please give advice. Thanks a million.

 

[Bdsub]

There may be a dictionary definition but every cuck couple's real life experience is unique. You both have to create the definition that you are committed to living with. Ultimately, both people must get individual pleasure from it.....but not necessarily equal.

Pick a period of time....say 3 months. Discuss rules and expectations with the understanding that no matter what happens during that time, she is safe from judgement or repercussions if rules are followed. Maybe you end up hating it
..reassess and adjust after three months. Maybe you go more extreme. I have given absolute control and freedom to my wife...but that isn't necessary for both of you to find common ground.

I'd suggest to her that she be supported to fuck anyone she wants for three months BUT she must tell you about it AFTER the three months. You also should consider wearing a cock cage frequently to create a better sense of obedience.

What are you ultimately hoping to get from this? My wife deserves complete sexual freedom since I can't satisfy her sexual needs. I want her needs fulfilled. I crave it. So, she does whatever she desires to accomplish that.

 

[Kudalskies]

What are you ultimately hoping to get from this? My wife deserves complete sexual freedom since I can't satisfy her sexual needs. I want her needs fulfilled. I crave it. So, she does whatever she desires to accomplish that.

From what I understand the main drive behind cuckolding is that the wife can use more sex then the husband/cuck can give her. Well, this isn't the case with us; I can give or even more then what my wife can take. But at the same time I very much enjoy being a cuckold to my wife and she enjoys the attention she gets from other men.

 

[Bdsub]

Variety of sex and quality are far more important than quantity. Ask her why she likes fucking other men and for her to be brutally honest.

 

[ShadowCuck]

The question you have to answer for yourself is, what is marriage. Is fidelity an important aspect? In the case of consensual cuckolding (even the part that plays at non-consent), sexual exclusivity and fidelity are not the same thing. Being faithful to negotiated agreements are. There are many opportunities for emotional abuse to creep into a cuckolding lifestyle. So, given what you’ve shared, it appears that she has been actually unfaithful by having sex outside your agreed parameters. Your reaction is nothing but normal. You don’t need to be a better cuckold, but a better husband, part of which is holding your wife accountable for breaches in fidelity. This needs to take preference over your desire to be cuckolded.
Whatever one believes about traditional sexual boundaries in marriage, a functional definition of marriage is that two people commit to sharing needs and pooling responsibility to help get those needs met. Sexual exploration is not an actual need, while sexual and emotional fidelity is: it is part of our human need for love and belonging.
Full disclosure, I am not a cuckold, although the fantasy is fascinating and disturbingly hot to me. I work with married couples in counseling, and this is where I came across the awareness that this is a lifestyle that many are exploring. I don’t judge, because that would be stupid, even before being hypocritical.
Bottom line, do you want to be a cuckold, or a partner in a marriage marked by fidelity and deepening intimacy? I have doubts about this being possible in a cuckolding marriage, but if it is possible, it requires that both partners are fully committed to serving the needs of each other, to the point of not pursuing any preferences that would interfere with those needs being met. This requires an honest communication of needs, and the honoring of agreed upon boundaries. If your wife or you cannot honor that commitment, then cuckolding is going to harm your marriage. It MAY be the case that cuckolding could help meet needs AND allow for sexual adventures involving various forms of extramarital relations and sexual denial, but if the needs aren’t prioritized such that preferences are sacrificed to meet the needs, then it simply won’t work, and ceases functionally to be marriage. Again, this assumes that both of you actually want marriage.
As I read it, you and your wife have not yet demonstrated the ability to set and honor boundaries in the area of cuckolding, so I would think it unreasonable to believe that you are ready for it. As I understand cuckolding, your needs as the cuckold are on an equal ground with your wife’s needs, not a subordinate one, although part of your desire is to feel a certain amount of sexual frustration, jealousy, not being in control of your wife’s sexual activity, and having her exercise a certain amount of control over your sex life and sexual release. The only way cuckolding will work, though, is within a well-tended and deeply intimate marital relationship.

 

[natasnaikul]

From what I understand the main drive behind cuckolding is that the wife can use more sex then the husband/cuck can give her. Well, this isn't the case with us; I can give or even more then what my wife can take. But at the same time I very much enjoy being a cuckold to my wife and she enjoys the attention she gets from other men.

It seems to me you are at a crossroads moment in your life, you wanting to be a cuckold to your wife struggling with you wanting to be her man. You cannot be both, one side will eventually win, either your cuckold desire will become overwhelming or jealousy and wanting to posses her will be stronger. It's hard, we've all been through some form or another of this. But if your true inner cuckold wins (and it will, once you get hooked it's the like a drug) you have to make her know she has complete freedom to play with whomever she wants anytime she wants whether you know or not about it. Once she understands that and knows you accept her sexual dominance completely and you're resigned to be her loving cuckold she will have no reason to keep anything from you. She will actually take pleasure in recounting her most deprived sex acts. More importantly she will love you more for it. 26 years old...I envy you guys you have your whole sexual peak ahead of you. She will drive you insane but it's all worth it

 

[Custer Laststand]

Kudalskies:

Re.:

I thought I was a cuckold until my wife decided to play with a friend of mine without my knowledge. She tried to mention to me she has the huts for him when she met him, but I suggested to her not to and that we should not mess with close friends. She seemed to have agreed, at the time. A couple months later I found out she had been flirting and playing with him behind my back, which caused me to flip and become very upset. She tried to convince me that I shouldn’t be [upset], and should just accept that as part of the cuckold experience. ..... etc .....

Among the challenges of becoming your wife's cuckold is coming to terms with your wife fucking your friends and, possibly, your co-workers — or knowing they want her to fuck them (and she probably will). It sounds like you were not able to rise to this challenge.

The thought of being a cuckold to my wife [again] is always on my mind.

As it should be. That desire is entirely appropriate for a married man, especially for a married man, such as yourself, whose wife has already introduced him to his proper role as her cuckold.

I feel ready [again] and want to open the subject with her; [I want to] let her know I’m ready to get back into it. I want to let her know I’m ready, and will not mind her fucking anyone she wants to .....

Very good. It sounds like you're coming around to the right frame of mind.

[I have read] and looked up what a cuckold should be (which I thought I was), and [about] the fact that a cuckold cannot and should not say "no" to his cuckoldress when it comes to her sexuality. Is that true?

Yes. In a hotwife / cuckold husband marriage, by mutual agreement the women is free to date, seduce, and fuck whomever she wishes, while her husband agrees to remain faithful to her (and actually is).

I must be ready when I try to convince her that I would not do what I did, and that I’m totally ready to be her true cuckold. If she says "no," I’m sure she [will] eventually [begin taking lovers again], because she’s only 26 and I know she enjoyed the lifestyle very much. But, if she does accept going back into it, would I be able handle being her perfect cuckold? And, how?

Hotwife / cuckold husband marriages seem to work best, generally speaking, if the woman is the dominant partner in the marriage. Thus, I suggest starting your wife moving in this direction by introducing her to the website:

Real Women Don't Do Housework
Real Women Don't Do Housework

(if she googles the title, it should come up as the first link — the one with the address www dot rwddh dot com). I also suggest encouraging her to read it all the way through, starting with the "marriage quiz" (since you've been married for a while), then starting with the chapters listed at upper left ("Introduction," "Object of Worship," "Erotic Power," Getting Started," "Psychology,"..... etc.) — then, as she works her way through the chapters, encourage her to act accordingly with respect to you.

At some appropriate time, as your wife begins successfully becoming the dominant partner in your marriage and you begin accepting your natural role as her submissive husband (assuming you proceed in this direction and that happens), you might consider starting to encourage her to once-again become your cuckoldress by proceeding along the lines of the 8-part article that begins here:

Turning a wife into a hotwife:
» A Wife Into A Hotwife Hot Wife Blog - hotwife and cuckold husband fetish discussion

You should note, BTW, that the "real women don't do housework" site does not suggest a married woman become her husband's cuckoldress. Rather, it is primarily oriented toward improving marriages from the woman's point of view (which is something you should be in favor of, in any case). But, it is also suitable, IMO, for transforming a marriage to a form such that the wife is in a position to step up, step out, and expand her sexual (and psychological) horizons by taking lovers, with the acceptance and agreement of her husband.

Also, and not incidentally: Natasnaikul (above) has given you some good advice.


—Custer

 

[mrandmrsbusty]

if you want to be a perfect cuckold to your wife you need to accept that she will call the shots, sleep with who she wants, friends, colleagues, strangers, and you will have to accept and do what she requires you to do, clean up ets