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Advice for a newbie please.

  • Thread startercarjohnny
  • Start date

carjohnny

Not quite a lurker
Beloved Member
Aug 16, 2008
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I have a very very beautiful 24 year old girlfriend. I definitely want her to sleep with other guys but am not sure about what the best approach would be. So far I have gotten her to talk about cheating on me during sex and talk about how she wants a guy with a bigger dick than mine. I also made her promise that she would flirt with an old friend if she hangs out with him. She agreed. They dated for a short time and hooked up on and off for a few years but haven't done anything sexual for the past four years. She plays along, but if I bring it up seriously at any point she seems mad and offended so I'm wondering if I haven't really made any progress because she is simply doing it because she thinks I like the fantasy. Any way if anyone has any advice at all I would really really appreciate it. Thanks!
 
Speak with her about your fantasy after sex is over or when you aren't both in a moment of arousal, so that she knows it isn't just euphoria doing the talking.
 
That is when I try to bring it up "seriously" and she seems to always get upset.
 
Seems like she only regards it as foreplay. She only likes it to be used during times of euphoria because she knows it turns you on. Outside of that she might feel a little insecure or uncomfortable with the idea.

Look back at some old posts, there are a lot of guys who have had your same problem. A lot of women think you want them to "cheat" so you can justify something you have done or something you want to do with another girl. Or they think it will tear your relationship apart, so her first reaction is to get defensive. This is a difficult wall to break unfortunately.
 
My wife was the same way, defensive, hurt that I would allow that, etc. She has cheated on me in the past, knows I love her, and accept her even after her infidelities. She even cheated in plain site, infront of me, sexting, under the guise of experimentation. It was rocky for a bit but actually helped our sex life and made us stronger as a couple.

It has taken almost a year of role-playing it to finally get her to a point where she is considering it. It's not an instant thing for us, and to be honest, if she would have caved early on, I'd have been devastated that the decision came so easy to her.

Talk about the feelings behind the role-play. If she is anything like my wife, she thinks you are trying to test her and if she gives in too soon, she will fail the test and lose you, and she doesn't want that. Which you should be taking as good thing.

If you press it at every opportunity, she could even feel loathing toward you, that you are so eager to push her into another mans arms. There are a lot of "losing respect outside the bedroom threads" fears voiced on this board. I share that fear as I am sure any man that loves his woman would.
 
Well she is making a date with him and talked about seeing where things went with him when they were one on one while we had sex the other day. Now we are texting about it and she still seems a little open about it. Getting so excited about the possibilities.
 
chiguy86 said:
Well she is making a date with him and talked about seeing where things went with him when they were one on one while we had sex the other day. Now we are texting about it and she still seems a little open about it. Getting so excited about the possibilities.

You need to slow down. If you talk your girlfriend into this and she fucks some other guy, all she is going to do is leave you. You have to understand how much social conditioning your girl would have to shake off to achieve the kind of relationship you want.

Lets take a couple of contrary, yet both completely true facts. One: Women are just as horny and sexually aware as men are and would love sexual satisfaction from many different partners, and revel in the fact that they could have as much sex as they wanted at all times. Two: Women want one man to be their Superman and Knight in Shining Armor and all that other cliche bullshit. Have you noticed that women in long term relationships are rarely happy? It's because of the internal conflict between these two ideas.

You could most likely talk your girl into fucking some other guy. It would be like talking a bear into eating a ham. All you have to do is assure them that there would be no consequences. Bad news is, the minute that happens. She will lose respect for you and the downward spiral begins.

You need to slow down. What you want can be done, but its tricky. In my experience, the best outlet is a dance club. Girls are socially programed to think that they can dance with men without it being sexual, but everyone knows that's not true. That way you can let her get physical with other men without her losing respect for you. That's the first step
 
chiguy86 said:
I also made her promise that she would flirt with an old friend if she hangs out with him. She agreed. They dated for a short time and hooked up on and off for a few years but haven't done anything sexual for the past four years. ....

How do you know your woman didn't "do anything sexual" with her old friend? Doesn't the phrase "they hooked up..." imply "for sex"?

Alternatively, if they did "date for a short time then 'hook up' for sex for a few years", and you know that, the fact that they stopped "hooking up" implies the sex wasn't that great between them. That, in turn, is probably related to her now being your woman (not his) and you (not him) being her man.

From your woman's point of view, it sounds like she's "been there, done that"... but you keep pushing her to "go back and do it some more." If so, that may account for her irritation whenever you bring it up (again).

It sounds like your woman has given you the message more than once, but you haven't been getting it. She may be thinking, "Jeez... what's the matter with him, anyway? How many times do I have to tell him?!" I suggest you read her message (so to speak) and give it a rest, before she gets seriously pissed off at you.
 
I don't know guys. She seems excited about this right now. She mentioned liking the idea that she could be with anyone she wanted to physically and still come home to me at the end of the day. It was also her idea initially to see this guy again. I just encouraged her and told her it was okay if she decided she wanted to do something once she was there.
 
Just seems like she's jumping into this really quickly, ChiGuy. That's what everyone on this thread is concerned about. At first she was totally turned off to the idea. Then all of sudden she's setting up dates and really into it? It just doesn't seem on the up-and-up.

And yeah, the idea that she can be with anyone physically and come home to you is the main concern. She realizes this. She realizes she can do whatever she wants and you'll be there for her. That's just what magna is saying... In her mind she can step all over you without caring about your feelings. That will lead to her losing respect for you. What happens if she discovers one of these guys is a better lay AND would make a great boyfriend? There's nothing keeping her with you.

Most of these cuck/hotwife relationships happen over the course of YEARS. That's because it takes trust, love, and understanding on both sides. And even then... Ive read about a handful of marriages that just don't work out. There was a guy on here a month or so ago.... his kids don't respect him, his wife doesn't respect him, he has basically lost everything because of this other guy.

Tread lightly. That's all we're saying
 
That's fair enough. I am taking it slowly and seeing where it goes. But we are trying to be as open and honest about it as possible so we know exactly how both of us are feeling.
 
So we decided to slow down on all of it. She is letting me buy her a black lifelike dildo and she will use that on her own, and when we have sex. Does anyone have any suggestions for good brands or places to look? I just want something that is going to satisfy her sexually better than I do.
 
I think we decided on the cyberskin dreamcock last night. It's quite a bit bigger than me :)
 
chiguy86 said:
I have a very very beautiful 24 year old girlfriend. I definitely want her to sleep with other guys but am not sure about what the best approach would be. So far I have gotten her to talk about cheating on me during sex and talk about how she wants a guy with a bigger dick than mine. I also made her promise that she would flirt with an old friend if she hangs out with him. She agreed. They dated for a short time and hooked up on and off for a few years but haven't done anything sexual for the past four years. She plays along, but if I bring it up seriously at any point she seems mad and offended so I'm wondering if I haven't really made any progress because she is simply doing it because she thinks I like the fantasy. Any way if anyone has any advice at all I would really really appreciate it. Thanks!

I am trying to work out why you are not married to her -you have been dating a long time, so why no wedding ring. The danger is that she might fall in love with another guy and commit exclusively to him - so you get flicked off as her ex-boyfriend.

Have you talked to the old friend to see if he will fill you in with information as to how they got on and what she might have said to him about the "oddity" or weirdness" of cheating on you. (don't tell your girlfriend about anything you get told).

Decide how inportant it is to be a fully committed cuckold inside a marriage before you get married, because this gives her a chance to confess whether she could handle it or not.

You might have to have a wine night when you and your girlfriend drink a few glasses of alcohol to loosen her tongue so she will let her hair down and tell you whether the idea of having extra cock appeals to her OR GOES AGAINST HER BELIEFS.

You can't push your girlfriend to have a lover long term. If she meets no one who she feels chemistry with, she won't get turned on enough to lose her panties.

If she confesses she only wants you, you will have to decide whether you can be content with that OR NOT.

You have been dating her for such a long time that you need to decide whether she is to be your wife, or you will set her free to find another guy who wants to marry her.

Talk to your girlfriend about how she feels about wanting marriage in the future, or an opportunity to date other guys to compare you with.

I imagine she has had only 1-2 men in her life (you and the other guy).
 
us too

chiguy86 said:
I think we decided on the cyberskin dreamcock last night. It's quite a bit bigger than me :)

That's the same one we got, 10" long and 7" around. My girlfriend was fucking the hell out of that thing in less than five minutes after it was in her pussy. What size are you thinking about getting. Don't be afraid to go big, after all that's the point.
 
You can always go small, but if a big one appears, spoil yourself because guys usually don't have a number on their head to indicate what is in their pants. You might have to keep kissing a lot of frogs until you find the bigger size.

A lot of wive won't boast about how lucky they are that a big cock sleeps with them every night - because "other women will want what she is having if they know what they are missing out on".

If wives are led to believe that there is a huge cock in the street, it gets talked about until someone has to go and find out if it is true.

Fishermen can embellish the size of the fish that got away from their hook. Add some barrels of rum, and an octopus bigger than our ship almost killed the lot of us.

If a girl feels left out, she hits the booze and after 11pm - every guy in the room is Brad Piit - and his cock is a 11-inch monster. So it doesn't matter who she takes into the bedroom to get her itches relieved.
 

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