This is all, for awhile
Annie says I always end up doing the right thing - after I've tried everything else. I think she stole the line from Winston Churchill's quote about Americans. Anyway, after Annie made love to me the other night - ok, she fucked me, but she also made love to me - we had a long conversation on my bed. There were several very strong themes. I don't have time (nor do you, probably) to recount everything that was said. But the messages were clear:
1. She truly loves me
2. She really knows me
3. She will never leave me
4. She is going to divorce me and marry Aaron
I know that numbers one through three are true, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Now I know that number four is too. She will never leave me. If I don't accept #4, I can leave. She didn't say that. She didn't have to.
She does know me. She knows everything about me. Even things I hide, or try to make secret she knows. She seems to know every place I've ever visited on the internet, or at least enough of them to form a clear picture. Hell, she probably knows I'm here on this site.
"I should have been a detective," she often says.
Apparently, she already is. This ability of hers to seemingly know everything I do is one of the reason I deleted this narrative after starting to post it here a few years ago. I didn't want her to know I was telling our story. At the time, I thought the story was over. Far from it, I now know.
"D, you must stop running away from your needs, from who you are. You have to come out of hiding. There can be no secrets. You've spent too much of your life on that computer instead of living. You look at the same things over and over and over again. For years now. Chastity, slavery, cuckolds and sissies. I think that about sums it up, doesn't it?"
I nodded yes.
"Month after month. Year after year. Looking at other people living their lives, or performing at life. Looking at pictures, reading stories. And they all boil down to one thing: Submission to power. That's your interest, that is your passion. That is your need. Do you know what you don't look at? You don't visit "man and wife" sites. You aren't interested in stories or themes about normal sex between married people, except in the context of cuckolding, or being dominated."
"I'm sorry, Annie," I said. And I really meant it.
"Quit being sorry," she replied. "We're way past that. You've been struggling all these years to be something you are not. A husband. And I've struggled with what to do about you. There are so many of you up there," she said, rapping on my noggin.
"Now listen closely. I am going to marry Aaron. I want him to be my husband, my lover, my man. He's GOOD at it. You are not. It just isn't in your DNA."
She paused and said, "Are you ok?"
I nodded yes, and she continued.
"The way I see it is that you will be more like my wife. And our slave. Since we won't be married anymore, I don't want to hear the word 'cuckold'. I've never liked the word."
It is true. She hates the sound of it, but not the concept.
"You may struggle with your role sometimes, but at least you'll be struggling in the direction of who you are, instead of who you aren't."
Annie is a very smart woman. She really thinks things out, and she always tells me the truth. She looked so freaking sexy that night, I just wanted her - I wanted her like a man wants a woman. I'd have done anything to touch her breasts right then and there, to make love to her like Aaron makes love to her. Even a complete sub has "normal" urges. She's just so beautiful. But I knew I wanted to follow her into this new phase of our lives even more. If I wasn't mesmerized by her, I wouldn't have an ounce of testosterone left in my body.
"Do you have any questions, D?" she asked.
"Not right now," I said. I was a bit choked up, but very happy in a way I haven't really experienced before. I decided to lighten things up a bit.
"I can't believe you actually came while fucking me," I said.
"You really liked that, didn't you, you little bitch," she laughed.
"I did. A lot."
"Honey, just remember one thing: If I couldn't cum, I wouldn't do it. I didn't fuck you for my health. I'm glad you enjoyed it, but the only thing that should matter to you is my pleasure, and Aaron's. This is not about you. Not anymore. You are a part of our relationship now, we aren't props in your fantasy. If you start thinking this is about you, you'll be very unhappy. Focus on our pleasure and happiness will find it's way back to you. Remember that."
I said "Yes, Ma'am." I have never called her "Ma'am" before. She looked at me with a serene, somewhat triumphant expression on her face. She must have liked it.