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She Is His

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  • #401
You're right Peak - the week has been busy and until you pointed it out, I'd overlooked it.
It does seem quite long ago now. Honestly it feels odd that I didn't post anything? But as I said, crazy busy week.

Paul came here, later as I'd expected and to Sue's annoyance. It's interesting to see her when she gets like that. She wants to be mad at him and I suppose, punish him, but at the same time, I know she's horny.

I'll share that its actually those moments that really get me turned on as she doesn't hide them as much from me any more. Recalling Saturday she commented several times at how horny she was.

Things do continue to ease between Paul and I. We still don't actually talk about sex, but it's far easier to greet him and be honestly saying to him "hey, how are you doing?" and to actually talk with him for a few minutes. He was genuinely curious about some work I'm doing repairing some walls in our basement, now asking about my sheetrock abilities. Actually we talk about Sue too, but just from a how-she-is perspective and as I said, not sexually - perhaps one day. I did tell him she was annoyed that he was late and he laughed and said that he was sure she would get over it and I laughed and agreed as he walked up to our livingroom where she was. I took his coat and hung it up and then gave them a few minutes.

I'm not sure if I've said this before here but I now find myself getting turned on seeing her kissing him. I remember I used to not like it, but now, again maybe beta-wise, it turns me on to see her get into a passionate kiss with him.

We had already eaten dinner but waited to have some wine and a little dessert with Paul. The 3 of us sat outside for a bit as it was nice out for while into Saturday evening. But by the time it was starting to get dark, I knew they would want some alone time so I left them and went back down to work in the basement.

I know this will sound bizarre, but in some ways, the 2 of them together on Saturday night is starting to feel like a norm. We all talked and I did tell both of them honestly that "I.... like it better when.... when you're both here...." and I told them both that the house is too big and too quiet. Paul said "geez... I didn't know... I just assumed.....". So I'd pretty much told them that they should feel comfortable - and - they did.

I've chatted and PM'ed with many others and I have to continue to say that seeing her with him is really beautiful. Almost like a private movie in a way. The feelings have only intensified as we've gone ahead, really tweaking the beta-part of me - seeing her just looking so natural and effortless with him. I read back to my earliest times and I can remember feeling some angst at that - thinking back I can remember that feeling. But now - honestly - seeing her undress with him or seeing her naked with him - it's really beautiful. Seeing him admire her the way I do and the way I feel - it's actually a comforting feeling.

I watched them make love the first time - first from the doorway and then next to them as she began to get into it even more. I don't know that I"ll ever tire of seeing her like that. As I said, if anything, seeing them tweaks my beta-ness even more. Seeing his cock glistening and knowing its from her cumming with him is just something I've always found thrilling to me. I can't explain it - but it just feels good to me to see. They are just so comfortable together - he pulled out of her and I watched as she turned over onto her knees. He did look at me as he put his hands on her butt and spread her open.

If I had been stroking my cock at that point I'd have cum from how she looked as he literally held her open. I thought maybe he was going to have her anally but instead - it was just as erotic to see him rub the big head of his cock up and down and then just push it into her pussy! Hearing her moan as the head pushed in was just a beautiful moment to me.

I could try to describe it all, but can simply say that while she did cum with him doggy, that I knew where she'd want to be when he was ready to cum. Sure enough - when she (and even I could tell) knew he was close she pulled herself off of him and she turned over for one of my favorite moments - seeing her lie back knowing he is going to enter her again and this time he's going to cum in her. There is just something so hot to me seeing her ready for him like that. Perhaps my favorite moment came a short while later - seeing him let loose inside her. Hearing her soft moan rising to a loud shriek as he continues to fuck her as he cums in her.

All I can say is that Paul is a considerate guy. I know it takes a lot for him to, albeit when he's ready, to pull out of her and head into the bathroom to clean up and now I know to be - him also giving her and I a moment together. She reached out and held my hand and then pulled me to her for a quick kiss and a whisper from her that she loved me. As I pulled back she smiled and simply said "do you want to?" and I nodded what must have looked like an eager yes. She smiled and spread her legs. Mmmm - recalling - she was wet but, well from experience I know that he's always really deep in her when he cums so it's not like it just gushes out of her, at least not right away.

She didn't need to tell me to not really suck or lick at her too much - as others have pointed out this is something she does for me as while it feels good to her, it's surely something that she does more for me. I licked a bit and she felt so smooth and that soft feeling of being slightly swollen. I could taste what I knew was from her - even now when she cums it's got this sweet taste to it that I admit IS something I do miss. When she felt me pushing my tongue further in she put her hand on my head and a second later I could feel her body tense up as I realized she was bearing down for me and a moment later, his cum began to seep out of her. She's never felt it gay or bi- that I like doing this for her and neither do I. I just know that it turns the heck on in me knowing that his cock just left it all in her. My own cock was rock hard when I tasted his stuff in her, I know the taste very well now and honestly after the first few seconds, I don't mind it at all, actually it's intensely erotic.

She let me nuzzle up and lick her all over for a few more minutes until I felt her hand on my head and her say softly "that's enough baby....". I pulled my face away from her and I know it was all wet from her but she wanted to kiss me anyway. She reached down and felt that I stil had my clothes on and she smiled and said "you going to enjoy yourself later?" and I just had to smile back and she knew.

Paul must listen in from our bathroom because he seems to always wait till I'm done before he flushes the toilet which is my cue to leave them alone together. I'm quite sure the next time I heard her cry out was when he was in her anally as the next day she confirmed she'd "... been had everywhere...".

For this weekend though, he will not be spending the night. Our daughter will be coming home on Sunday and starting to bring some stuff home from college - other stuff will be going to her apartment she'll be splitting with her best-friend.
 
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  • #402
Another "easy" weekend for Steve - Paul came around to their place and Steve got to see and be involved in their sex.

Like @peakmb @azsurfer77 @Jaxunman and others I doubt that Steve would enjoy it as much if Sue spent more time at Pauls, or even away with him.

Again, I wonder if this is Sue making sure that Steve is happy so that she can continue fucking Paul (or maybe I should say not having sex with Steve) for as long as she wants - I'm sure that @peakmb would say that it is :)

However it could be simply that Sue wants to ensure that the husband that she loves gets the maximum pleasure out of this - in truth it's difficult to say as the only knowledge that we, the readers, have of Sue and her character is the view described by Steve.

Also like others I'm wondering where this is going and how & when it's going to end. I wouldn't be surprised if it's not when Steve & Sue move (in 2019?) and I also wonder if Steve will be too used to getting his sexual pleasure from denial and masturbation and may not get pleasure from PIV sex with Sue - see post #376 She Is His and what that will do to their relationship? Only time will tell
 
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  • #403
Steve, as Enigma has just prompted me, I have to agree with much of his analysis. Others seem to have seen me disagreeing with what you are posting, but I’m not. It’s clear that at present you are perfectly happy with what is happening. You describe a weekend such as the last and that becomes an undeniable fact. In fact you seem to be almost enjoying it too much.

My issue is with what you are in fact enjoying, and how you are ever going to reverse these images in your head. As you say, and as Sue says you both want to do that at some point in the future. My belief is that what you are enjoying is Sue starring (as you put it yourself) in your own private porn film. The shows she puts on in vision (and sometimes only in sound) for you have become your private porn material for masturbation. A very powerful substitute for the real thing. One which requires no wooing, preparation, foreplay or intimacy afterwards. In fact no interaction at all. Even your Wednesday sessions reach their peak only when Sue goes into the detail of what she enjoys with Paul and starkly says you don’t any more. It’s no wonder you are happy at the moment, no wonder you say you don’t miss it. Indeed Sue has turned the screw in several ways since this year started and if anything all it has done is deepened your dependence on your private porn. I maintain this is the true reason you find it difficult when Sue is away, either for a night or as proposed, for several. By yourself, you cannot sustain the porn movie image and that nagging feeling at the back of your head comes forward to question the sanity of what you are doing.

Sue is indeed in tune with all this, essentially adding sticking plasters to the wounds as they become visible with minor sexual acts which keep you in line. I believe she is getting little or no sexual satisfaction from any of this contact with you. In the few times she has actually achieved minor orgasm with you is seems to have been her excitement at witnessing and exercising the power she now has over you. Her true aim this year is exactly as stated, to achieve a sexual split from you and to concentrate her sexual energy solely on Paul. She is doing what she needs to do with you only to sustain this, and I believe it will now continue as is for as long as she wants it to. Your previously touted ‘stop’ card is no longer relevant. You are simply too satisfied with your high quality porn to ever consider using it, and if you played it tomorrow I believe Sue would ignore it and simply pull another sexual rabbit out of her hat to get you back in line.

So how does this end? Well, unless you really understand how much damage to your joint sexual life the use of ‘porn’ by you has become, the end will never come from you. You are too deep into the dream. Maybe, just maybe, Sue being away a few days might just clear the fog enough for you to see, but as each week goes by that becomes less and less likely. Your mutual sexual attraction is becoming atrophied. If you don’t use it, you will lose it. Sue could end it in several ways. She could eventually tire of a man who is able to switch away from her so easily to play golf or do other things. Especially when he has promised to see her. If this happens is some hot tempered way, I see no reason that she would immediately switch back to you. She is far more likely to search for a new lover, one who is willing to commit even more time to her, and thus one who has a far greater chance of taking her away from you entirely. Sue could also tire of a relationship that has become entirely platonic, she may tire of seeing her ‘friend’ simply as a voyeur. Even if she doesn’t see a life married to Paul, she may finally see that her destiny should lie with a husband in a complete sense. A lover and a companion. Sue is the only one who could put it back together again, but at the moment she has no incentive to do so. She has said she feels no sexual attraction to you, and acting like you are, I doubt whether any hot blooded woman would either. Love is not a substitute for lust.

The thing is, as time goes on, I simply do not believe that for you and Sue the current status quo can continue forever. I’m certain that others could and have made it work, but I don’t think the Steve and Sue we have now known for years are cut from this cloth. So it will end. I just can’t see any pain free way that it can do so at the moment.
 
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  • #404
Peak - I'm in agreement with all you've said, I agree that it all represents a risk for our future in terms of our ability to reconnect sexually. But I also agree with your assessment that right now, even though I see and know about this risk, for the short term, I still want to give her the freedom she wants and is enjoying. Perhaps we'll regret this, perhaps not, honestly, to divert to seriously consider this would be, in essence, to somewhat derail what she is obviously enjoying.

I wiil say that I continue to be surprised with myself at how I am feeling right now. She has just gone out shopping for a bit - but last night and indeed - this morning too - they left the bedroom door open. I stayed with them as I knew she would like me to and I can go on and on about that but it surprised me when I came up after leaving them and they'd left the bedroom door open. I'd left the hallway lights out and I watched from the doorway for a while. I recalled her telling me how she "enjoys fucking him" and that like had been for ages with me, that she really enjoys him just fucking her - not pushing her for an orgasm or anything - but just enjoying being in her and the same for her. I got to see that clearly last night as I'm not even sure they knew I was there as I watched as they spooned together and I knew he was in her as they lay there watching TV. The flickering light made it even more erotic to watch as the darker moments on whatever was on darkened the room for a moment every now and then. Seeing her just enjoying him in her was - I can't describe it any other way - than to say it was truly beautiful. Her hand would caress her breasts or drop down and either rub herself or even I could see when she just wanted to feel his cock.

Honestly from the distance, he could have been in either hole too which is even more erotic for me to think about.

I didn't watch them this morning but with the door open - I got up and they were still asleep. I feel kind of weird for enjoying this as much as I am - all I can say to myself is that I truly feel more beta as we go further into this. Knowing she was naked under the covers next to him was really erotic to just stand there and see. The first noises I heard this morning was her moans and his grunts and I knew what was happening. I though about going up to watch but I knew from how he sounded that it was going to be quick.

LOL - it wasn't raining out so I think that hastened his morning with her. She came at least once (I know her sound very well) and it was just a few minutes after he let out a grunt that I also well know that I heard them in the bathroom together. The talking was muffled but it was intense to hear the toilet flushing and the shower starting and then hearing them in there together.

He barely talked to me before just grabbing a cup of the coffee I'd just brewed and he told me "thanks" and that he wasn't sure he'd be seeing me next weekend. "Mothers day you know...." was all he said and I realized that I"m sure one or both of our kids will be home.

She came down just a few minutes later and she looked around and I said "he just left" and she said "okay". I know it bothers her that he ran off to play golf - I knew this was going to happen when it wasn't raining today. I'm sure it disappointed her as I think she was hoping for a day of lying around and messing around with him.

But back to watching them again. I can't find the words to express it, but I can say that I am quite sure we have passed a point for me that I wasn't sure existed - when it would become easier accepting that we're not going to be sexual for now. Watching them last night, this was something that I really felt strongly - that watching her with him - as I've described more lately of it just seeming so natural and effortless is really amazing to feel. What's more though - I think I can really see it in her. I mean we've talked about it at times and again more recently - that we really do feel good together even if we're not fucking each other. I know a lot of people here can't see how those 2 go together but some here do and it surprises me to understand that they're right. I see her as a beautiful person and I am intensely turned on about everythign about her - but at the same time, it just feels right to me to let her have this with Paul and let her fulfill herself as she obviously needs to. That part is apparent.
 
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  • #405
Well Steve, I thank you for the acknowledgement but I'm sure the danger signs are visible to many more than just me. Your well written piece above is yet another example really. Acceptance that there may be dangers ahead but being so content with things as they are combined with genuinely not wanting to disturb Sue in what she wants means you are not the one to attempt a recovery or even a damage limitation. If the iceberg is there, you are going to hit it and be sanguine about it afterwards. At least we all know now you are at least aware. It's a start.

The other danger sign is still there. Sue is increasing her focus on Paul just as he seems to demonstrating his inability to absorb the increased attention. Sue has not finished scratching this itch. In fact it seems she has hardly really begun to do so. If she dumps Paul, she will be active in finding a replacement.

So the safety initiative stays with Sue. She remains the only one of you able to end this when the time comes in a way which can result in reconnection. I can see why she has said you will need to woo here all over again at that time though. Not a done deal in your current frame of mind, and something that will factor heavily in hers when the time comes.

For now though, in the moment and without looking ahead you are both clearly having a great time. That cannot be denied. Just enjoy it while it lasts. With Voldemort in charge, tomorrow may never come!
 
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  • #406
I still think that Steve should use his hall pass for a "free fuck" with another woman to remind him what he is missing.
Maybe then the iceberg will look dangerous instead of strangely appealing....
 
  • #407
Enigma632 said:
I still think that Steve should use his hall pass for a "free fuck" with another woman to remind him what he is missing.
Maybe then the iceberg will look dangerous instead of strangely appealing....
I can't remember reading ever in all 10 years of Steve's threads He and Sue were swingers. It has always been Sue who fucked another guy. All with Steve's approval and he loved it. So I don't think he will ever use his "free fuck card". He enjoys too much fantasying, knowing and witnessing Sue's adventures. Sue fucking another man gives him more satifying than doing it himself with Sue ... or another woman. And in my opinion Sue knew when she gave him that card that he never will use it! If he does than we can call it a miracle.
 
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  • #408
Peak - I'm not sure I see the gloom-and-doom in your forecast. I think the main thing that I feel and that apparently isn't being conveyed is that it's not like we're exactly sexually distant right now - just not physically together. Your downplay of her satisfaction or desire regarding what she's let me do to/with her is less to do with my abilities but more to do with her desire right now. Of course your prediction is that this desire doesn't decrease or change and will continue to, corrosively, erode at things.

I don't share your gloom and doom simply because - well - all I can is that I feel there is far more between us than simply whether I bring her to orgasm or penetrate her. Again, unless I were to record and playback actual conversations it'd be difficult for me to convey what gives me the confidence I have. As I've said - while she is trying and succeeding in separating her sexual appetite from me - at the same time whether it be Wednesday's or when I have my moment after Paul has been with her - while she may not want sexual pleasure from me - I know it is something she is having to hold herself back on. And, as I've long said here - she's never been one to suck cock. That she does so now with me and truly enjoys lingering to have me fully climax - you can say what you want but it is bringing her pleasure to do so with/for me or she wouldn't be doing it. I've said many times how I've seen her rubbing herself or outright masturbating along with me. While I'm sure many here see those as selfish and self-centered on her part, I know they are in part a way for her to alleviate/veer-away from a desire that she might otherwise satisfy with me.

Now that's not to say that I don't recognize there to be dangers here and Sue and I have talked a bit about it. From what I can say I feel from what we've talked about so far, we both are aware that if and when we want to resume sexual activities - that it may not work as it did in the past.

I've given more thought to this than I've perhaps shared but I do truly feel I am wallowing in the deep-end of enjoying my beta desires. And while seeing them does truly get me going - I have to say honestly that if this takes a few more months for her to work her way through her desires and issues - even if perhaps it goes till the fall - it will sound crazy but right now, at this point, I want to let this take its course and let her experience what I now believe she needs to. Of course it stings on some level to see and be a part of her sexual enjoyment with him - but that she is sharing it with me, now as openly as I think she can, I think she's doing it to keep me as a part of it. I do so miss having sex with her at times but at the same time - we've gone this far, I want to see this through. I can actually see her changing - and not in a scary way at all. I see a change in how she is in the bedroom (yes, even with us not having sex) - she feels she can be herself right now - there's this confidence and underlying happiness in her that I can't deny. Despite her disappointment at Paul either arriving late or leaving early - there's something in her step and her bounce and how she acts and carries herself that says to me she did truly need this.

At now 5 months in - there is a tremendous easing of tension and awkwardness between us. I readily get showered and she sees me naked at many times and in many states of arousal and I know it's been good for her to know she can lie on the bed and just watch me or do whatever - whereas I know that just a few short years ago, if she saw or knew that I was horny, that she felt she should be there to relieve me. It's so weird to look back and see how much of her own attitude was behind all of that too - which she now admits and accepts. But for me - seeing her naked now, it just feels good to see her - just as it does to see her in an attractive pair of jeans or a top. And for me, that pleasurable feeling is no different seeing her with him.

But the thing I think even I am sometimes scared of but excited about nonetheless - is when we will reconnect. Maybe it won't be till New Years Eve or New Years Day. Although I'm sure it wouldn't surprise anyone here if I said now that based on how I'm feeling and how I feel about us, that I'd sign up for another year. Or who knows when - but I do know that it will come for us. I'm actually excited about when it will be time. I do think this is going to end with Paul - and I think we are on the decline but I can't be sure. Of course there will be someone after him - I already know that as long as she can spread her legs that she'll want to have another guy if I"m okay with it.

Will I change from being beta and enjoying it as it seems, more and more right now. Honestly I do think that I'll reach a point - again not sure when - but there will be a point and time when I do believe I'll feel that desire again. To be honest - the thought of how she'll feel and how we'll be together as we rediscover things is incredibly arousing to think about in many ways right now.

Well, that was a bit of a ramble but....
 
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  • #409
Steve,

Once again, thanks for the detailed response. I have to say you did ramble a bit on a few issues.

Firstly timing. You say you believe that it may take Sue a few months to fully work out her issues, then that it may be even Autumn. Then that you expect a reconnection at New Year, then that if Sue asked now you would sign on again for another year or more. Not exactly clarity and it does match my assertion that the decision will not be yours, but Sue’s when it comes, or rather you do, with her.

Second separation. If Sue’s aim (almost realised) is to achieve a separation of her sexual desire from you, whilst maintaining a bond elsewhere, then she is decidedly NOT yearning for you when you masturbate in her presence. She has the real thing for that, a man who by her own words is fitter, stronger, longer lasting, more virile and a better lover. As we say round here, you can’t have the penny and the bun. Either she has separated successfully or she hasn’t. She says she has. It is wishful thinking on your part to imagine she hasn’t exactly at the point of your orgasm in her presence. Sue has also said she will do whatever it takes to keep you onboard this time. Is it not even remotely possible that a bit of coaching from Paul on blowjob technique, and a desire from Sue to keep you in the groove have combined to deliver your occasional relief in her mouth? This would be a loving, not a cynical gesture on her part but would require next to no sexual desire from her to deliver.

As you say, your eventual reconnection, when and if it comes about, will be a potentially difficult experience for you both. I believe you will struggle with any sort of sustained performance and that Sue will struggle with maintaining any sort of lustful desire, although I’m sure a loving desire will be there. It’s not the same thing though. More duty than want. I’m reminded of the famous Star Trek quote from Bones, “It’s sex Jim, but not as we know it.”

Still, it is good to read that you are speculating on how your eventual reconnection could happen. Some time back, Sue stated plainly that when she did take you back, it was to be as a lover, her husband. The man in fact that she married. You are not that man at the moment. How much you are suppressing him for Sue’s sake and how much you have lost to evolve elsewhere is anyone’s guess. I’m pretty sure even you don’t know at this point, so we can have no clue. You are however, going to have to develop your own mental contingency plan to get as far back into husband/lover mode as you can. If Sue has to order it, I don’t think it would work for her.
 
  • #410
Peak - I know that you are anticipating this as a painful and difficult reconnection for us - if and when it does happen. I don't feel the same. Again I know you are reading things as you are and I have a different perspective - but I differ with you on how she derives pleasure or what her desires are regarding me - as I've said - maybe I'm the optimist and you're the pessimist.

The thing I will say is that while I feel I am committed and clearly happy with being beta - it's how I feel right now and honestly I don't know if it will continue in the future. I have wanted to feel this same thing with her - perhaps not exactly as it's played out - but I have desperately wanted to feel denial and beta for/with her - the thought of Paul totally posessing her sexually has me hard again even as I type this. That his cock and his cum has now been all she's received for so long doesn't make me feel badly in any way - quite the opposite seeing just how intensely pleasurable this is for her. And yes, as I've said, I do see a change in her - both in terms of how she carries herself and seems to feel in general - but also with how she really is open and honest with herself sexually. So for right now - the thought of Paul fulfilling her every desire and need (and orifice!) is something that I want to continue enjoying with her in my own way.

The thought of not reverting back - of being beta for the longer (much longer) term - isn't frightening to me. Actually a part of me is quite aroused by it. But knowing myself and knowing Sue - that isn't likely to be. The longer we are non-sexual, the more I actually am starting to think about - as you said - when and not if. Still though - the thought of another man being all she has moving ahead isn't as crazy to me as it once did sound. In some ways, I guess it's good that we're not with a true-bull or more dom-guy because that could have possibly influenced things right now.

But I would be dishonest by saying that I don't have thoughts of reconnecting with her. Sometimes seeing Paul and her I admit I do have thoughts about how good it would be to take a turn with her. Much less when I masturbate - yes, the thoughts are usually of her in some erotic scene (lol - usually oozing semen) - but also more increasingly now of me taking a turn with her. So that thought is in the back of my mind.

Really though - the thought of rediscovering her - together. Feeling her again - and yet knowing she IS different after so long without me. Those thoughts are still there and incredibly exciting to me.

Gotta run.
 
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  • #411
Steve,
Once again I thank you for the response. I think things are clearer now in my mind. I’m sure I have been something of an irritant constantly asking about the future while you have wanted to report on the present. I think your last note finally convinced me a little of why. It’s the nature of your subspace in treating Sue as your Dom. You are clearly happy in your current state, blissful almost. It has the huge advantage for you in that Sue controls the agenda, so you don’t have to worry about the future, you simply have to trust Sue. That I’m sure is partly why questions about the future are difficult. They both distract your blissful condition and by their nature, in questioning whether the future is okay, you are in fact questioning the person in charge of that future, Sue. I must be daft not to have realized that before. We are clearly looking at the same thing but from different ends of the telescope.

The converse, which in fact reinforces the issue is the way Sue is clearly thinking. She is seeing a clarity now in finally separating a loving relationship from sexual desire. That the sexual desire is with Paul has always been irrelevant. It clearly has to be with someone else to achieve that separation and he is as good as most. The thing is, for her to continue in her blissful state, she gets deeper into it and stays there by NOT thinking about the future. After all, that is filled with considerations of reconnection at some point which starts to unpick the good work she has done just by thinking about it. So she avoids it. Yet she remains responsible. At some point that responsibility will kick in, and by starting to think about it, the spell will be broken in her mind and the end will inevitably be hastened. I suspect at some level you know this yourself so don’t broach the subject with her in any meaningful way.

Just one thing finally on this issue. If Sue has always struggled in the recent past with her previous sex partners to separate sexual desire from an emotional bond, it may be the reason why she has always used the phrase, ‘I love you’ with them all. At the peak of sexual bliss with them, that must have seemed natural to her, but didn’t of course mean the same as when she used the same word with you. (English as a language is limited sometimes, other languages have more words.) Anyway, if she is separating these feelings, then she should be saying it less to Paul right now. It would be interesting to see if you (or her) had noticed.
 
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  • #412
Peak - I think you finally may see things as I do. The last few sentences of your first paragraph is also dead on and is what I've been trying to convey for a while, that asking some of this isn't always something that I think should be done.

You ask an interesting question in your last paragraph because I have to say that the only times I hear her express feeling love for Paul is during-sex. Perhaps I've put them out of my mind but honestly at this moment I"m not recalling her saying it otherwise - at least not expressively for/to him while I've been present. But you question has made me aware that I hear far less planning from Sue other than "the next time" they will get together - I seem to recall, or recall feeling more urgency and desire from her to see him more than once a week. I suppose the overnights are sufficing, but again, a part of me sometimes reads more into this than maybe there really is.

You do have it correct though, I hadn't thought of it as succinctly as you simply that I feel she is my Dom - but yes, it is very much how I feel about it in terms of feeling trust and love for her in all of this. Even masturbating with her last night. It feels so good to tell her how turned on I was seeing them and to hear her tell me openly how good it was for her. But even more so, and maybe this is my projection of how I want to feel with her - but I love letting her truly see how turned on it gets me. I know you say she doesn't feel anything or much but I disagree, hearing her coax me on as I start to cum, I know it's pleasure she is experiencing. Just as sharing a kiss with me afterwards is equally pleasurable - just, well, "in a different way".
 
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  • #413
I guess I'd also add that I think it's why I've accepted her desire for anal sex with Paul - it wasn't really something she asked me - pretty Dom of her I am now seeing. I mean I knew when I wanted to be more beta that she'd taken on what I'd say was the alpha role - leading our sexuality. So I've never really thought of the dom-side aspects of it other than how she might respond to a guy that way.

All I can say is that however it's worked its way out - that while my almost need for denial is being satisfied, that I also feel satisfied sexually too.
 
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  • #414
Nice updates Steve. Just one follow up. If you accept that it is up to Sue when to end her relationship with Paul, or at least reduce its intensity and start to bring you back in, then you accept that you cannot influence or control that decision too, or really discuss it with her. Sue wanting to concentrate on her current separation feelings also means she won't be planning anything yet for its end. Ironically that means it is up to you to prepare yourself for that end. Quietly and without Sue's help. You need to do this because when Sue asks / orders you to step up and end your denial, you need to be in the right frame of mind and not say, 'Can't we just carry on a bit longer,' which is what you might well be thinking! I suspect all this is unlikely to happen for some time to come, so you have plenty of time to prepare, but I do believe it will go a long way in Sue's mind if she sees at least a glimmer of her old partner in you when she asks. I suspect she might be very vulnerable / upset when she does, so the last thing she will need is to be worrying about you. Of course it may go the other way. She may not ask for another year from now or more. In that case, you having a contingency prepared / updated may be the only thing that keeps the candle flame of your soon to be ignited renewed passion burning. A constant reminder in your head (if not Sue's) that Sue will ask a different role from you after Paul's role diminishes / goes.
 
  • #415
I have been gathering information on this type of fantasy and I noticed that everyone has their own rules that apply to them and their Partner. I Am somewhat interested/Turned On by this. Now we have talked a lot about Fantasies top one is 3some With FFM she starts it out with the other Female in a Twosome then 30 min's I join in. We talked bout swinging, orgy's, role-play, dominant/Submissive, Stranger fantasy.
At first she wasn't keen on MFM Threesome, not until she watched the movie Savage's then she said, "if we did a MFM Threesome like in the movie I would want it that way".
I think that scenario turned her on, it has to be like that way because she was involved with 2 guys that cared for her. Sex was one being rough and other was Loving, easy stroking way. So I then wanted her to feel very comfortable so I told her she could be in charge for all our Fantasy's & set all the rules. Seeing her eyes light up she definitely liked that and felt better. Later she then told me that the FFM threesome the only rule was that I could never penetrate other Female. (For she was not open to that but everything oral was good. Weeks later we mentioned the MMF Threesome again (me mentioning the movie Savage's so she came up with the rules that the other guy could only penetrate her doing it doggy style and No Passionate kissing, and I told her I'm okay with another guy as a threesome because when i thought about it, I believe it's only fair of me since I would get the FFM threesome first. 2-3 months passed & just recently, the Rules haven't changed for the FFM Threesome but on the MFM Threesome. She now said the other guy is allowed penetration only 2 positions maybe 3 depending on the mood 1) doggy style, 2) Spooning and 3) maybe if she was into it She would get on top of him.
Here is my question I definitely want to see her with another man. And I would like to watch her get pleasures from another man besides Me. So I mentioned how bout if the guy start out first just like the other woman ( in FFM Threesome) where she haf a Twosome with woman she wanted to be for 30 minutes one on one then I would join. ( she said maybe but if she did with other Male only 15 minutes top and then she would want me to join in like a threesome wit both of us then letting him finish 20- 30 min's later (threesome style) then just me and her finishing up.
Understand we don't have to have a bull (if so a bull gentle one) but my wife said the guy must be at no smaller than 5" but no more than 6½" in length. For Girth Average up to 5½" Thick not like real thick.
My Q? Does this count as Cuckolding that I want to see my wife get pleasures and I wanna watch my wife enjoy having another man inside her and like see her being connected to another man while he fills her up as I watch them fucking/Sexing it up, while I masturbate/rub it very slowly watching every moment. Another reason is I want to see if another man can please her the way I do and she also does too. We also talked about our favorite positions Being off limits. But I Wonder in the heat of the moment would she allowed the guy to do her any way he wants especially if she's having an orgasm and he puts her in one of our favorite 2 positions also what about getting into heavy Passionate Kissing would she say no not that position or sorry didn't mean to kiss passionate or will she like it so much and overlook that thinking it feels to good or natural and continue to do that without thinking because she is about to have another orgasm and it just feels so good.
 
  • #416
MyManACEmywifeLP said:
I have been gathering information on this type of fantasy and I noticed that everyone has their own rules that apply to them and their Partner. I Am somewhat interested/Turned On by this. Now we have talked a lot about Fantasies top one is 3some With FFM she starts it out with the other Female in a Twosome then 30 min's I join in. We talked bout swinging, orgy's, role-play, dominant/Submissive, Stranger fantasy.
At first she wasn't keen on MFM Threesome, not until she watched the movie Savage's then she said, "if we did a MFM Threesome like in the movie I would want it that way".
I think that scenario turned her on, it has to be like that way because she was involved with 2 guys that cared for her. Sex was one being rough and other was Loving, easy stroking way. So I then wanted her to feel very comfortable so I told her she could be in charge for all our Fantasy's & set all the rules. Seeing her eyes light up she definitely liked that and felt better. Later she then told me that the FFM threesome the only rule was that I could never penetrate other Female. (For she was not open to that but everything oral was good. Weeks later we mentioned the MMF Threesome again (me mentioning the movie Savage's so she came up with the rules that the other guy could only penetrate her doing it doggy style and No Passionate kissing, and I told her I'm okay with another guy as a threesome because when i thought about it, I believe it's only fair of me since I would get the FFM threesome first. 2-3 months passed & just recently, the Rules haven't changed for the FFM Threesome but on the MFM Threesome. She now said the other guy is allowed penetration only 2 positions maybe 3 depending on the mood 1) doggy style, 2) Spooning and 3) maybe if she was into it She would get on top of him.
Here is my question I definitely want to see her with another man. And I would like to watch her get pleasures from another man besides Me. So I mentioned how bout if the guy start out first just like the other woman ( in FFM Threesome) where she haf a Twosome with woman she wanted to be for 30 minutes one on one then I would join. ( she said maybe but if she did with other Male only 15 minutes top and then she would want me to join in like a threesome wit both of us then letting him finish 20- 30 min's later (threesome style) then just me and her finishing up.
Understand we don't have to have a bull (if so a bull gentle one) but my wife said the guy must be at no smaller than 5" but no more than 6½" in length. For Girth Average up to 5½" Thick not like real thick.
My Q? Does this count as Cuckolding that I want to see my wife get pleasures and I wanna watch my wife enjoy having another man inside her and like see her being connected to another man while he fills her up as I watch them fucking/Sexing it up, while I masturbate/rub it very slowly watching every moment. Another reason is I want to see if another man can please her the way I do and she also does too. We also talked about our favorite positions Being off limits. But I Wonder in the heat of the moment would she allowed the guy to do her any way he wants especially if she's having an orgasm and he puts her in one of our favorite 2 positions also what about getting into heavy Passionate Kissing would she say no not that position or sorry didn't mean to kiss passionate or will she like it so much and overlook that thinking it feels to good or natural and continue to do that without thinking because she is about to have another orgasm and it just feels so good.
MY Man - Phew, what a post but I think you need to have stated your case and asked your questions as a new and separate thread and not have jumped in and posed your dilemma in Steve's. By all means make comments and contribute to this specific discussion (she is his) in a relevant manner but I'm thinking you are in danger of having your own fascinating situation and fantasies ignored unless you actually flag it up as a individual topic. Hopefully you will take this as the first bit of good advice and that once you have re-posted that you generate a whole new stream of discussion. Best wishes - Curt
 
  • #417
Curt Bruch said:
MY Man - Phew, what a post but I think you need to have stated your case and asked your questions as a new and separate thread and not have jumped in and posed your dilemma in Steve's. By all means make comments and contribute to this specific discussion (she is his) in a relevant manner but I'm thinking you are in danger of having your own fascinating situation and fantasies ignored unless you actually flag it up as a individual topic. Hopefully you will take this as the first bit of good advice and that once you have re-posted that you generate a whole new stream of discussion. Best wishes - Curt

Sorry just New to all this and sometimes I ask a lot of questions or say a lot. I will do that tomorrow I hope you will give me some input when you see it going to put a profile pic of us. Is that a good idea and a pic of her too
 
  • #418
MyManACEmywifeLP said:
Sorry just New to all this and sometimes I ask a lot of questions or say a lot. I will do that tomorrow I hope you will give me some input when you see it going to put a profile pic of us. Is that a good idea and a pic of her too
No worries, I was concerned that you might get overlooked and buried if you continued in this thread. As for pictures, knock yourself out, I'm sure most folks would love to see who were are conversing with. Good luck and see you later in your own thread.
 
  • #419
I am bumping this due to the spamming having it pushed all the way down to page 3.
 
  • #420
Thanks Jax.

We talked for a while last night that this will be the first weekend she won't be seeing Paul in quite a while. She said that it was okay and that he was actually seeing his family this weekend. It was a good opportunity and I simply told her that "I was surprised you didn't squeeze a bit of time in this week". She smiled and said she loved that I thought about her that way and it was her that said "no, a little break is good every now and then baby". I didn't really say or ask much more, I know she'll share more or we'll have more time to talk about it over the weekend.

The thing I"m going to share is that I have to agree with her, we really do seem to be in-sync on a lot of stuff these days. She didn't say anything specific but I have to admit that with sex off the table for now between us, things just mesh so much better and it seems that she's a lot more content in some ways.

It is making me think about how things will be in the future when/if.... and how I can still possibly be somewhat beta within our relationship. I think perhaps that is something that will help us both - allowing her to still retain control but more importantly, for me to remain more passive in terms of projecting any needs or desires until she is ready and it feels right between us. I guess I do truly feel guilty about a lot in the past - I mean it wasn't ever intentional but I can surely see where my neediness or demands early on when we began with others could have led to a lot of what she wants to shed now. Hearing her talk to me more openly and honestly has made me far more aware of how she must have felt.

So I will surely "want her" there's no doubt about that - I just want to truly be sure that things go forward at that point in a way that will continue her newfound feelings and desires and that we don't regress.
 
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