Seeking Honest Advice

[ratherbecucking]

Hello all. Long time lurker, first time poster.

I'm a 35 y/o guy living an enjoyable, if not exciting life in suburbia. Happily married. Truly love my wife. No kids at this point. Two dogs. Yada, yada, yada...

But, and here's where it gets interesting, I have an extremely strong desire to be a cuckold. I have for several years now. Sometimes I greatly enjoy that feeling; sometimes I wish I didn't even know what the word cuck means. But there's no denying that the feeling is there.

The problem is my wife would never, ever go for it. If I even suggested it, then she would [A] be crushed to learn about that side of me (her big, strong husband), leave me on the spot and [C] tell all of our family and frieds about my interests. That is not a scenario which I am eager to experience. As I said, I love her and, for the most part, love my life.

However, from spending time satisfying my cuck cravings in forums and chat rooms such as this one, I have found a bull-type who is willing to meet me half way.

He is about ten years older than I am. From chats we've had, he possesses almost all of the qualities that I am typically drawn to in bulls - alpha male, confident, intelligent, strong libido, smooth, attractive, horny, hung, etc. In short, I feel he is a superior male to me in almost all facets, especially those of a sexual nature.

He is interested in getting together for a drink this Friday afternoon. From there, we'd see how things go and proceed accordingly. Based on our conversations, what that would most likely entail is he and I going somewhere private and me stroking his cock with a pair of my wife's panties while he looked at her pictures and verbally humiliated me until he shoots his load and tells me to lick it up.

While just typing those words out made me get a little hot and bothered, I am also a bit nervous and apprehensive. I'm scared my wife could find out, which would greatly hurt her and essentially ruin my life from top to bottom (career, relationships, etc) once everybody we know found out. I'm also nervous that I will wish I'd never done it even if she doesn't find out. At the same time, I feel like I have found the perfect compromise for living out this fantasy to some degree without hurting anybody.

Now, I'm sure there are an endless number of different experiences that have been had by the members on this forum. Some great and some not so great. So, my question to the group is a simple one...

Should I follow through on my plans to meet this man OR should I keep the whole thing as just a fantasy?

All responses are appreciated, even if they are critical in nature.

Thanks!

 

[ratherbecucking]

In case it helps to paint the situation a little more thoroughly, here are a couple pics of my wife.

She's 28 y/o, asian, around 5'2", 125 lbs. Nice full C's. Cute face. Great smile.

 

[PAC496]

I would say if you have never discussed anything with your wife you are placing a great deal at risk. I would think long a hard before you take this step!

 

[ratherbecucking]

Thanks for the frank response, PAC. It's definitely not a decision I'm taking lightly. I just keep going back and forth on it in my mind.

I really appreciate your reply.

 

[PAC496]

I can understand believe me, but I think you have to find a way to include your wife at some level. Have you shared any thoughts with her at all?

 

[ratherbecucking]

I know there's that school of thought that "you never know for sure til you ask." But this is definitely a case where I know for sure without asking. If I were to suggest a cuck lifestyle to my wife, or even hint at my interest in something along those lines, then it would mark the end of my marriage to a wonderful lady.

Maybe there was a time and place that I could have mentioned the topic to her without it meaning game over. But just with the way our marriage has developed and the nature of our relationship today, that time has come and gone.

While my main attraction to the cuck life is the thought of my wife enjoying the type of sex that she deserves with a man who is capable of delivering it to her, there's also the appeal of her bull and me both being readily aware of my sexual inferiority to him.

The bridge is out on my path to a true cuck lifestyle, unless I valued it enough to get a divorce and start a new relationship that I could try to steer toward a cuck/hotwife marriage (which I don't).

However, I look at my current situation as an opportunity to experience at least a small slice of what it is that attracts me to the lifestyle without ruining an otherwise happy marriage.

I know this is like trying to have my cake and eat it too. But I'm willing to just have a small slice.

 

[Eno]

Women typically don't reach the peak of their sexuality before the age of 35. Because of the imbalance between their own and their husbands' needs, this is when they will develop extramarital needs and start cheating.
This would be the perfect time for adopting a cuckolding lifestyle, because it will providing women with a most satisfactory outlet for their hidden desires without endangering their marriage since cuckold husbands are known to be extremely faithful.

Since you value your relationship and don't want to lose your wife, patience may be the answer - time is on your side.

 

[grantisaac]

Well, Goodluck.

I think you need to take it slow and not go into the role playing straight away as this will blow her away.

I started slowly with my wife by first suggesting a threesome with another male.Youur will be more comfortable with you there as they know that it is ok with you.

We had a few threesomes and then i slowly encouraged her to see others on her with my blessing. This took soom time but now when we go out she will often pickup.

Cheers
Grant

 

[Glenn]

Well, although I do believe that you want your wife to be involved, it seems that there is more to your desire than basic cuckolding. I'm sensing some kind of bi-sexual urges. Nothing wrong with that of course, but I wouldn't necessarily jump to the conclusion that you are a cuckold.

That said, many of us here can certainly understand where you are coming from, as having such thoughts can and often does overlap with cuckolding. However, I would be very concerned, as you are, that your wife is not involved. After all, if you did meet someone without her knowledge, you would in essence be committing adultery yourself.

 

[ratherbecucking]

Women typically don't reach the peak of their sexuality before the age of 35. Because of the imbalance between their own and their husbands' needs, this is when they will develop extramarital needs and start cheating.
This would be the perfect time for adopting a cuckolding lifestyle, because it will providing women with a most satisfactory outlet for their hidden desires without endangering their marriage since cuckold husbands are known to be extremely faithful.

Since you value your relationship and don't want to lose your wife, patience may be the answer - time is on your side.

Very true, Eno. Guess I can never say never. I just know that it wouldn't work out if I asked today. But maybe there will be a point down the road that it will. Thanks for the reply.

 

[ratherbecucking]

Well, Goodluck.

I think you need to take it slow and not go into the role playing straight away as this will blow her away.

I started slowly with my wife by first suggesting a threesome with another male.Youur will be more comfortable with you there as they know that it is ok with you.

We had a few threesomes and then i slowly encouraged her to see others on her with my blessing. This took soom time but now when we go out she will often pickup.

Cheers
Grant

Thanks Grant. A threesome does not seem like "starting slowly" from where I'm sitting right now , but I get what you're saying. Maybe there's a way that I could start even slower, without jeopardizing my marriage.

 

[ratherbecucking]

Well, although I do believe that you want your wife to be involved, it seems that there is more to your desire than basic cuckolding. I'm sensing some kind of bi-sexual urges. Nothing wrong with that of course, but I wouldn't necessarily jump to the conclusion that you are a cuckold.

That said, many of us here can certainly understand where you are coming from, as having such thoughts can and often does overlap with cuckolding. However, I would be very concerned, as you are, that your wife is not involved. After all, if you did meet someone without her knowledge, you would in essence be committing adultery yourself.

I would not argue with your assessment of there being some bisexual urges here. I'm not really attracted to men in general at all. Like if Brad Pitt or Denzel Washington were to walk by, it would do nothing for me. But I have some sort of affinity for cocks, especially large ones. And I am also drawn to the psychological aspect of submitting to another man in some form and each of us being completely aware of my sexually inferiority to him and the fact that he is more worthy of bedding my lovely wife than I am.

I know that being unfaithful to one's wife is about as un-cuckold as one can be. But maybe I'm justifying it by comparing the pain I would cause her between [A] having this encounter on the downlow (no pain at all if she did not find out) or opening up to her about my interests (lots of pain for sure). Quite possibly faulty logic on my part.

Thanks for the response, Glenn! It definitely helps me in thinking through everything.

 

[ratherbecucking]

ratherbe ... I agree with Glenn, I think there's more to your desire than cuckolding. Possibly you're seeing cuckolding as a way to fulfill a deeper fantasy or desire, that of a sexual experience with another man. Have you ever had a sexual experience with another man? Possibly, you're misunderstanding what real cuckolding is all about. Do some research on the cuckolding vs. hotwifing definitions. I really suspect, however, that neither apply in your situation. The extreme of cuckolding is involving the cuck & bull in sexual contact. It's usually between the wife & bull, with the cuck observing or oblivious to the affair.

If, in fact, you do value your marriage beyond "scratching an itch" of desire, as they say, I'd be very cautious proceeding with meeting anyone, but particularly a man, for sex without your wife's knowledge. Actually, this is no more than a roll reversal in cuckolding when you think about it. And, if your wife finds out afterwards, she may not see this as anything other than infidelity ... NOT GOOD for you! PAC496 makes a good point as well!

It seems your wife is a typical, straight wife ... and quite attractive from the pics you've posted. I don't think she's ready to share her bed with anyone else, but I certainly wouldn't have any secret meetings with anyone until you've opened up a bit with your wife, and come to terms with what you're really wanting. Don't take everything you read & see in Cuckolds.com as factual, as we seem to be blessed here with a lot of wanna be's and fantasies. Cuckolding & hotwifing many times have a negative affect to a otherwise good marriage. Good luck!

Thanks so much Mac. I really appreciate your feedback. And I definitely would agree that I'm not a cuck in the purist sense by any means. But this just seemed like the right spot for me to present my dilemma and see what people had to say. And based on all the great input I'm getting, I think I was at least correct in that decision. Thanks again!

 

[swanger]

"He is interested in getting together for a drink this Friday afternoon. From there, we'd see how things go and proceed accordingly. Based on our conversations, what that would most likely entail is he and I going somewhere private and me stroking his cock with a pair of my wife's panties while he looked at her pictures and verbally humiliated me until he shoots his load and tells me to lick it up."

That sounds pretty fucking gay... Until I saw the photos of your wife... Oh what a conflict... It would probably be more interesting if you too, are asian.

 

[Eno]

You're welcome. And believe me, I speak from experience. When in our twenties I suggested swinging but this was adamantly rejected by my wife who would not hear of any form of extramarital sex.
So just imagine how dumbfounded I was, when some years later it appeared that she had started cheating on me - although the subject of extramarital sex had never been touched again and in spite of the fact that she knew perfectly well that I had remained faithful all along and had no longer any interest in other women.

Too bad that I was not prepared and felt outraged as I did not yet grasp how normal it is for a woman at her sexual peak to have outside lovers! We had no internet at the time, so unfortunately it took a few more years before I finally understood and came to peace with her occasional flings as we both came to realise the value of cuckolding as an honorable, satisfying and indeed marriage saving lifestyle.

You have the big advantage of knowing all this beforehand, so I would suggest that little by little you make your wife acquainted with the benefits of the lifestyle by explaining why it is no big deal if a married woman has outside sex, and most importantly why the same does not go for married men... time will do the rest.

 

[ratherbecucking]

"He is interested in getting together for a drink this Friday afternoon. From there, we'd see how things go and proceed accordingly. Based on our conversations, what that would most likely entail is he and I going somewhere private and me stroking his cock with a pair of my wife's panties while he looked at her pictures and verbally humiliated me until he shoots his load and tells me to lick it up."

That sounds pretty fucking gay... Until I saw the photos of your wife... Oh what a conflict... It would probably be more interesting if you too, are asian.

Thanks for the reply Doc. I certainly do not deny that I have some bisexual urges. But like I said, there's no overall attraction to men at all. There's never a face or a body type or a scent or anything of that nature when I'm picturing a guy in my head. There's just a man with a big dick who recognizes his superiority to me and has the desire to fuck my wife. If that's gay in your book, then I guess I'm gay as far as you're concerned. I struggle with labels sometimes. I just know what I'm interested in.

I think (though I can't say for sure) that most cuckolds have an appreciation for their inferiority to their wife's bull, in addition to their appreciation for their wife becoming the sexual being she really is. There are two distinct aspects to their cuck existence.

I would assume, also, that for most true cucks, 90% of the satisfaction they get from the situation is derived from knowing that their wife is experiencing the type of raw, carnal pleasure that she deserves.

With me, I definitely have a strong desire for my wife to experience such pleasure. But I think my satisfaction scale is slid more toward the side of realizing my inferiority to the (would-be) bull. Quite possibly because I recognize that that aspect is the only one I can realistically expect to have in real life at this time.

Or maybe I'm gay.

And, sorry I cannot make it more interesting for you, but I am white.

Thanks again for the reply!

 

[ratherbecucking]

You have the big advantage of knowing all this beforehand, so I would suggest that little by little you make your wife acquainted with the benefits of the lifestyle by explaining why it is no big deal if a married woman has outside sex, and most importantly why the same does not go for married men... time will do the rest.

Patience is definitely a virtue. Unfortunately just not one of mine.

But regardless of what happens this week, I'll try to keep in mind that living the lifestyle fully is not out of the question at some point down the road. Thanks Eno.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Ratherbecucking,

Regarding Eno's suggestion:

.... I would suggest that little by little you make your wife acquainted with the benefits of the lifestyle by explaining why it is no big deal if a married woman has outside sex, and most importantly why the same does not go for married men... time will do the rest.

That's good advice. I too would suggest bringing it up gently with your wife at a suitable time — say, when you have her in bed and are turning her on and she's starting to get hot. Then mention it in a relatively brief way, whispering in her ear.... not as something she would actually *do* (of course), but rather as a fantasy you have had and you find you like to think about it sometimes. Initially, the idea from your point of view — I suggest — should be only to plant the seed.

Then, at some suitable later time.... perhaps when you have had an evening glass of wine with her and have spent some time embracing, kissing and fondling her on your sofa (but she's still dressed), mention you've found an interesting article on your computer and (while nibbling her ear, perhaps), whisper that if she'd be willing to read it, you'd appreciate it.... then take her to your computer (you'll need to have set this up in advance) and show her

The Science of Cuckoldry « Cuckold Couple

and gently encourage her to take some time to read it. Then, if she does and does not become upset, hostile or offended, "reward" her by giving her a really nice massage (if she likes that) followed by some very nice lovemaking — to show her, in effect, you really appreciate her taking an interest in the article because it interests you too. If, on the other hand, the article seems to upset her, regard it as further cultivation of the seed you have planted and do not push any further for the time being.

Although you do not consider yourself a patient man (I gather), you will need patience. Your photos show your wife to be a very attractive and rather sexual-looking woman. Although you do not seem to regard her as a candidate to become your cuckoldress — and you, of course, are the one who knows her best — I suspect you will be able to get her there, if you proceed gently and take your time.

—Custer

 

[ratherbecucking]

Ratherbecucking,

Regarding Eno's suggestion:



That's good advice. I too would suggest bringing it up gently with your wife at a suitable time — say, when you have her in bed and are turning her on and she's starting to get hot. Then mention it in a relatively brief way, whispering in her ear.... not as something she would actually *do* (of course), but rather as a fantasy you have had and you find you like to think about it sometimes. Initially, the idea from your point of view — I suggest — should be only to plant the seed.

Then, at some suitable later time.... perhaps when you have had an evening glass of wine with her and have spent some time embracing, kissing and fondling her on your sofa (but she's still dressed), mention you've found an interesting article on your computer and (while nibbling her ear, perhaps), whisper that if she'd be willing to read it, you'd appreciate it.... then take her to your computer (you'll need to have set this up in advance) and show her

The Science of Cuckoldry « Cuckold Couple

and gently encourage her to take some time to read it. Then, if she does and does not become upset, hostile or offended, "reward" her by giving her a really nice massage (if she likes that) followed by some very nice lovemaking — to show her, in effect, you really appreciate her taking an interest in the article because it interests you too. If, on the other hand, the article seems to upset her, regard it as further cultivation of the seed you have planted and do not push any further for the time being.

Although you do not consider yourself a patient man (I gather), you will need patience. Your photos show your wife to be a very attractive and rather sexual-looking woman. Although you do not seem to regard her as a candidate to become your cuckoldress — and you, of course, are the one who knows her best — I suspect you will be able to get her there, if you proceed gently and take your time.

—Custer

So glad I decided to sign up and post my question on here. I'm very appreciative of all the responses and the tips I'm getting on how I might eventually be able to live out my dreams, with the woman I love and the only woman I can truly imagine having this experience with.

At this point, I am strongly leaning against following through on my arrangements from the first post i made.

That article is a great one, Custer. While I cannot realistically see springing the idea of a threesome on my wife anytime in the near future, I could definitely see easing into a situation where I might be able to present her an article such as this without playing my full hand. That way I have some wiggle room to downplay the whole idea if she seems unreceptive.

Much appreciated, Custer!

 

[Glenn]

So glad I decided to sign up and post my question on here. I'm very appreciative of all the responses and the tips I'm getting on how I might eventually be able to live out my dreams, with the woman I love and the only woman I can truly imagine having this experience with.

At this point, I am strongly leaning against following through on my arrangements from the first post i made.

That article is a great one, Custer. While I cannot realistically see springing the idea of a threesome on my wife anytime in the near future, I could definitely see easing into a situation where I might be able to present her an article such as this without playing my full hand. That way I have some wiggle room to downplay the whole idea if she seems unreceptive.

Much appreciated, Custer!

I think that your decision against meeting another man is probably a good one. Not because it might damage your marriage (although that is a good reason of course), but because I don't think it would have fulfilled enough of your desires as a cuckold.

I truly believe that there is a good chance that you can slowly ease your wife into this lifestyle. Of course I don't know her, so there are no guarantees, but I do know that there are very few absolutes in life. People often appear very strong willed (stubborn) about any number of things, yet we are all vulnerable to a good sales pitch.

So, my advice to win over your wife would be to simply "plant a seed" in your wife's mind. Custer's suggestions are very good (and definitely check out that link he gave you), so give it some thought. She probably has no knowledge of this lifestyle, but it will no doubt arouse some kind of interest. She will probably think it's all rather amusing and/or silly at first, but that's okay. Just let the seeds grow and hopefully you will both benefit from a wonderful harvest.