It Goes On and On and On and On

[kevinsslave]

Sunday passed rather quietly. Justin called once as he needed my to use my paypal account to purchase a research paper for Becky, online. I told him that profs usually knew when someone submitted other people's work, but, he told me she was only using it as a guide for her paper. I bought it for $25 and had the download link sent to his email.

Amber and I didn't move much of that day and that evening. No sex, just a little snuggling and kissing. Monday I was very busy at work and didn't get home until late. Amber worked a late shift and was going to spend the night at her apartment. She needed fresh clothes and had bills to pay, had to straighten her place up, etc. I was alone in my house and really thought about sleeping in my bed (the Master Bedroom) but couldn't bring myself to do it. The last thing I needed to do was disobey Justin this early into things. I was getting terribly horny and felt like I hadn't come in weeks, but, it didn't matter, the cage was locked on tight.

Tuesday was very busy as well and around 4:00, Justin sent me a text telling me that I needed to get over to his apartment and to bring some beer. I really didn't think too much of it as I figured it was time for me to blow him or serve him in some other way. I got his beer and went in, finding him laying in his bed, in just shorts, watching TV. He seemed ***** or stoned or both, I don't know. I brought him a beer and sat next to him on the bed. He said, "take your pants and tie off, let me see you in your shirt and panties." I did and stood beside the bed. He grabbed my ass and started to rub it with his hand. "Pull your panties down," he said and I did. He looked at my chastity and said, "How about we let you out for awhile." I was puzzled, to say the least, but I said, "I'd love it, but, it's whatever you say." He handed me the key and I unlocked the cage and took it off. It felt good to be free. I was half hard, already, and he told me to pull my panties up and lay down. I did and started to rub his legs and kiss his thighs. He continued to rub my ass. I started to kiss his rock hard cock through his shorts when I felt his finger running along my crack.

"Lay down on your stomach and kiss my thighs and legs." I did as told and he inserted his finger into my ass. He slowly pushed it in and out and I have to admit that it felt good. I kissed his legs, but, as he finger fucked me, I began to grind my cock into the bed, in rhythm to his finger thrusts. "Feels good, huh?" he asked. It did, "God, yes, Justin..." He slowed down and said, "Let's talk a little." I could barely concentrate but said "OK." He continued, "You're my slave, right. I own you." I told him yes. "I control you and you live to please me, right?" Again, I told him yes and kissed his legs extra passionately. "If something were to happen between me and Amber, you'd still serve me, right?" I didn't like this and didn't want to answer. "What's going on Justin?" I said. He moved my head to his crotch and told me to kiss his cock through the shorts. He kept fingering me. I was ready to cum, I could feel it. He said, "Nothing's going on, what's your answer?" I tried to sidestep it, "I don't want to..." He fingered me faster and harder, "I said I want an answer." My cock was throbbing, I needed to cum, I could barely hold it in. I started to really kiss his cock, it was just a phenomenal feeling. "Don't cum, bitch," he said. "Oh, oh, Justin, Master, please..." I pumped up and down while he fingered me. His cock was rock hard beneath his shorts and staring me in the face. "I need an answer!" he barked. I had to cum, I gasped out, "You, I'll always serve you Master, youuuuu, ohhhhhhh....." and I came in my panties.

I lay in a heap, my face on his cock. "That's a good boy," he said and pushed my head into his crotch. I slid his shorts to the side and slid his massive cock out and started to suck him. He came very quickly and in buckets in my mouth. He moaned out, loudly, which is a little unusual for him and I mean there was spurt after spurt of cum to swallow. He tasted so good.

"Go clean up," he said, "Take your panties off and come back." I went in the bathroom and cleaned my cock and crotch area. I went back in wearing just my shirt and lay next to him, kissing his chest. "Becky wouldn't have sex with me, she was on her period, I'll bet you loved swallowing my load." I kept kissing and said "mmmmm hmmmmm." I kissed his neck and ears and moved to near his lips when he again said, "Not the lips." That was the second time he had told me that (and his brother had long ago said the same thing). "Why can't I kiss your lips, Master?" I asked. "Because, I'm not gay," he replied (neither was I but it seemed silly to suggest we both weren't bi). "But, you let me kiss everywhere else, I don't.." He was annoyed, "Kisses on the lips are signs of...affection, not sex. When you kiss my body it's just sex. You're just a nice pair of lips." I guess he had a point, in a way, but I whispered in his ear, "Sometimes kisses on the lips can be sexual." He was really annoyed now. "Shut the fuck up or I'll whip your ass with the belt, maybe, I don't know, just shut up."

So I rubbed his legs and kissed his chest and neck. He was already getting semi-hard again. "I'm fucking the shit out of you, tonight," he said. "Thank you," I said, "You know how I love to feel your cock in me." I was actually making myself horny with all my rubbing of his body and kissing him. He was really getting hard now. I don't know what made me do it, but, I moved to his lips and kissed him. Before he could say anything, I said, "Fuck me, please, just fuck me."

More later.

 

[kevinsslave]

He threw me onto my back and got on top of me. I lifted my legs up and apart and he put his shoulders under them. I felt his cock near my ass and realized he wasn't going to use lube. Before I could say anything, he was pushing into me. It hurt, I wasn't used to no lube, and he put his cock in and out a little at a time, until, he thrust into me. He slammed in and out of me, quickly and deeply. I moaned out and he put his hand over my mouth, "Quiet," he hissed. In and out he went for what seemed like hours, but, was only 10 minutes. I had my hands on his ass and pushed his ass in rhythm with his thrusts. I tried to reach up and kiss his neck, but settled for his chest and arms.

At some point, he rolled me to my side and took me that way. I dug my face into the pillow as he fucked me. After a few minutes of that, I was on my back again, legs high in the air, getting my ass plowed. I moaned aloud and he'd had enough of my noise. He pulled out, stood up, grabbed my hand, pulled me up, grabbed a pair of his dirty underwear from the floor and pushed them in my mouth. He bent me over the side of the bed and took me from behind. As he thrust in and out, he slapped my ass, grabbed my hair, my shoulders, you name it. I couldn't believe it, but, I felt my own stiff cock rubbing between the bottom of my stomach and the bed. He put his hands on top of mine, pinning me down, and fucked on and on. Even the underwear couldn't stop my moans. I had never been fucked so long and hard. As he slammed my ass, I finally felt myself come and spurt onto the bed. Still Justin went on, finally tensing and then blowing his load into me. He fell onto me and lay there for a minute before gingerly sliding his cock out of my ass.

I couldn't speak, I couldn't move. I had never felt anything like it. Truthfully, as I have said, sex with men, generally speaking, doesn't turn me on. This had been different. My ass ached, as did my legs (even my toes from curling them in and out as he nailed me, I guess). A lot of pain and, yet, my body, every nerve, seemed to be tingling. I was like a rag doll, though, no man had ever so forcefully taken me. No man had ever so dominated me sexually.

Finally he got off me and put his head on a pillow and lay there. I was still lying crossway across the bed and so his knees were near my face. I took his underwear out of my mouth and kissed his legs gently and moved up near him. Cum dripped out of my ass and was smeared on my stomach and cock. I was a mess. "I....I..." I panted, "That was....incredible...I...." I could barely speak. He said nothing, just breathed loudly and heavily. I felt like I was in a trance. After all that, all I could think of was having him take me again. I rubbed his body, his hands, everywhere, kissing him, worshiping him. I licked his sweat from his body.

Finally, he said, "I have to take a shower, clean up in here." He got up and I pulled the sheets off the bed to run downstairs to the washer. As I went past the bathroom, I saw him pissing into the toilet, dropped the sheets and, in a trance, went in the bathroom. I dropped to my knees, kissing his ass, gently, "Let me wash you in the shower." I said. He said nothing, but, we both got in the shower. He had a shower, fortunately, with a door and one of those little areas that you can sit on. He sat down and I knelt on the the floor, lathering the wash cloth with soap and cleaning his body. I was gentle near his cock, but, cleaned it well. I was still in a trance, kissing his legs, his stomach, his cock, licking and sucking the water from his body. When I went to his feet, I kissed them before cleaning them. Finally, I finished his cleaning and he did his own hair and then got out. I sat on the floor of the shower, exhausted, letting the water fall on me. I cleaned myself and got out.

I threw my suit pants and shirt on. My panties were dirty, from earlier, and took the sheets down to his laundry area. When I got back in the apartment, he was on the couch and said, "I'm hungry, go get us something to eat." I said, "Yes, sir, what would you like?" He wanted pizza and wings. I left to get them, still in a daze, still tingling everywhere. I was out of it and forgot to call to order the food. So, I called from my cell and now had 20 minutes to burn. The lingerie store was only five minutes away, so I went there to get a new pair of panties. I hated wearing underwear without washing them first, but, I needed something, quickly. I quickly bought a pair of black and white boy shorts and saw a pair of black and white striped anchor knee highs that I thought would match. I left, got the pizza and wings, went through a drive through for more beer and headed back to his apartment.

By now, it was dark, so, after I parked, I slid my shoes and pants off, and put on my new panties and knee highs and then my pants and shoes. I brought the food in, put it on the living room table, got him a beer and ran down to put the sheets in the dryer. When I got back, he was eating. I was starved, but, somehow, didn't feel like eating. I needed to worship my Master, so, I sat on the floor, near his feet and massaged and kissed them while he ate. He noticed that I now appeared to be wearing striped socks and said, "What the fuck did you do?" I stood up and unzipped my pants and let them drop to the floor, ******** my new panties and knee highs. "I wanted to please you," I said, "I know you expect me in feminine things." He looked at me and said, "I wish you had no dick and tits." I whispered, "Me too."

More later.

 

[kevinsslave]

"Justin," I said as he ate, "there are some ways I could look more feminine for you if you want...There is a device that I used to wear called a gaff where I basically tuck my dick up under my legs and tape it. It works really well. And, I really can make sure I have absolutely no hair on my body. There are other things I can do, too...." I kissed his legs and waited for an answer. "What about your cock lock?" he said. "Well, I can't do the gaff with that on, but, I promise you, absolutely swear to you, I won't cum or even touch myself if you say so. I want to please you..." He smiled and said, "And, what about Amber, you'll be with her alone, you'll want to fuck her or she you, I couldn't trust you." I thought for a minute and said, "No, I wouldn't mislead you, can't you tell how badly I want to serve you, to please you. I told you earlier you are my Master, even if something were to happen with you and Amber. I mean, if I feminized myself more, I doubt Amber would want to...be with me, anyway."

He was silent, then said, "You're like a little dog, bitch,..." I interrupted, "I am, I will do anything for you." He ripped a couple of pieces of pizza of his slice and threw them on a paper plate and put it on the floor. "Eat it, like my dog would." I put my head to the plate and ate the pieces he threw there. Now, to test me, he took a piece he had been chewing out of his mouth and dropped it on the plate. I wanted to gag, but, I bowed down and ate it. "Fuck that's gross," he said, but, laughed. I went back to his feet and massaged them.

I heard my cell phone vibrating in my pocket and asked permission to answer. It was Amber, but, I didn't answer. "It's Amber," I said. "Fuck that bitch, tell her your fucking me," he said and laughed. I texted her, "Doing chores for Justin, will be here late, see you tomorrow." I went back to his feet.

He got up, went to the bedroom and came back with his dog collar and leash and put it on me. "Let's go" he ordered. We went into his bedroom and he had me stay on the floor on my hands and knees. He told me to take off my panties and I did, waiting for him to fuck me again. Instead, I felt the sting of a belt across my ass. "You kissed my lips, faggot," he said, "I told you not to do that." He began whipping, really whipping my ass. It hurt, but, I just buried my head in the carpet and took it. I had done what he asked me not to by kissing him, I deserved this. When he finished, he sat on the edge of the bed. I crawled to his body and kissed his hands, the hands that had just punished me. "I'm sorry, Master, I couldn't help myself earlier, I want to satisfy you so badly, to please you so much that I...." I went to his feet and kissed them.

Something odd was happening. I wasn't getting angry, I didn't want to leave, I just wanted to serve him, to submit to him, to please him. He was breaking my will, my ego, my resistance. I could feel it and couldn't stop it. He told me to go get the sheets out of the dryer and I put my pants on and went and got them. I brought them back and folded them and put them away. "I need a massage, I"m sore," he said. He lay down on the bed on his stomach and I rubbed his entire body, all the while, open mouth kissing his back, his ass, his legs and most of all his asshole. He liked my mouth on his asshole and at some point pushed my face into him. I licked his ass, kissed it, sucked it for 15 minutes. He rolled over, finally, and I said, "Thank you."

His cock was hard again. I couldn't get my mind off of it. "Please, can I suck you?" I said. He pushed my head down on his cock and I blew him for 10 minutes. He couldn't come, I could tell, despite everything I tried. So, he stood up, bent me over the side of the bed and started to fuck me. No lube again and he seemed to thrust so hard and deep into me that I thought he was going to hurt me. But, still, it felt good, hell, great. On and on, he fucked me, slapping my already sore ass, repeatedly. Finally, he tensed and came. He didn't blow much of a load, but, still enough that I felt it. I felt like collapsing. I had never felt such pain and pleasure, never felt so exhausted. "You need to clean me again," he said. So back to the shower we went and again I cleaned his body.

It was now late and we were both tired. I crawled into bed with him and rubbed and massaged his body. "You want to look more like a woman for me?" he said. "Yes, I do," I said. "What about Amber?" he said. "I don't care about what she thinks, I want her to see what I want to do for you." He laughed. "My times have changed," he said. He was right, that's when I knew, he had broken me. I was his.

More later.

 

[kevinsslave]

We both must have fallen asleep. The next thing I knew, I felt him shaking me and I opened my eyes. It was dark, the middle of the night. "Suck me off," he said. I was disoriented, and, at first, didn't understand. He slapped my face, lightly, and repeated himself. Now, I could see his raging hard on. I remember thinking, "I can't believe he's ready again," and I moved down to take him in my mouth. I was half asleep, but, started sucking up and down on his shaft. He spread his legs and pushed my head, so, I moved to his balls and licked those for awhile, while stroking his cock. I licked between his shaft and legs and then back to his cock. I took the top part in my mouth while stroking his shaft, but, I could tell he wanted to fuck my whole mouth from the way he thrust up into my mouth. So, I took as much of him in my mouth as I could and moved up and down, as quickly as possible. His hands on my head pushed me up and down faster and I complied, nearly gagging on several occasions. I blew him for 20 minutes and my mouth was getting very tired when he tensed and blew a small load in my mouth. I let all his cum spurt into my mouth and then gently let his cock go from my mouth. I swallowed it all and moved up to kiss his chest. "That's enough for now," he said and told me that if I wanted to stay the rest of the night, I could sleep on the couch. I got up, grabbed an extra pillow and blanket and went to the couch. I lay there and realized that I should get up to wash my mouth out with water or toothpaste to get the cock and cum taste out, but, truth be told, I savored it, that night and immediately fell to sleep.

I awoke in the morning and was sore from head to toe. Thankfully, I had no court dates that day and only had a couple clients scheduled for office visits. I called my secretary's phone (she wasn't there yet) and left her a voice mail that I was feeling sick and wasn't coming in. I fell back to sleep and woke up at around 10:00.

I went to the bathroom and waited for Justin to wake up. When he did, I asked if he wanted breakfast. He did and I cooked him eggs and toast with coffee. I served him at the kitchen table and massaged his feet while he ate. From the moment I woke up, all I could think about was having sex with him. I had never felt this way-never. I tried to think of other things, but, couldn't. His cock was all I thought of. As he ate, I rubbed his legs and moved up to start kissing his inner thighs. He spread his legs so that I had access to his cock which was again hard in his shorts. He looked at me, finally, and said, "What do you want?" I breathlessly answered, "Your cock, please, let me have your cock again." He laughed, "How am I going to fuck Amber tonight if I waste all my stamina on you." I had nothing to say but, "Please, I need to taste you again."

He shook his head. "I have to work this afternoon, I have to start getting ready." I reached into my suit jacket pocket which was hanging over a table chair and pulled out $300 in cash that I had been given by a client the day before. I handed him the money and said, "You don't have to work ever again, if you don't want to. I'll work and take care of you and your bills. I want to be a good slave." I said. He took the money and spread his legs again. I went back to his cock and pulled down his shorts, taking his erect cock into my mouth. I tried to count the number of times I sucked him or had him fuck me in the last 24 hours, but, lost my train of thought as I blew him. After awhile, he blew another smaller load in my mouth, again, all of which I swallowed.

We moved to the bedroom where it was time for another massage. I sensually rubbed his shoulder, back, ass, legs and feet, passionately kissing his body while massaging him. Again, he signaled that he wanted his ass worshiped, so I licked his ass and asshole for several minutes, burying my mouth and nose in his crack. He rolled to his back and said he had to shower and it was time for me to go. He only had to work a few hours that day and said he'd be over to fuck Amber around 7:00. "I want her ready for me," he said. "What about me?" I asked, "Can I be with you one more time today?" He shook his head, in amazement, "You're a bigger slut than her, man..." I didn't want to leave him, "Please, Jus..Master, can you please fuck me one more time, please, I really need you." He shook his head, "Maybe later...."

He looked at the chastity device and said, "Put that thing on you told me about last night and look as feminine as you can for me later. I want her to see you like that....If you jack off or fuck her or let her suck you, I'll know, and you get locked up again. This time it will be for months." I said not to worry, I would never again disobey him. "What if Amber wants..." I said. "You can kiss her, you can even eat her out...fuck, if you still want to, I mean, I think you like cock better." I smiled at him, "Just yours" and I dropped my head down to kiss his cock.

More in a minute

 

[kevinsslave]

I drove home in a fog. As gay as this sounds, I ached for Justin. I was rock hard and I touched my cock, constantly. Funny thing about chastity devices is that they're like rings on your fingers, even when you take them off, it still feels like they're there.

When I got home, Amber was awake and waiting for me. I came in the door and kicked my shoes off. I had my cummed on panties in a bag and went upstairs, silently. As I undressed, she looked at me, and said, "Knee highs?" I quietly answered, "For him." She rubbed my panty clad ass and I winced and she saw the strap marks. "What happened?" she asked.

I didn't know what to say, other than the truth, so I said, "He beat and fucked me into submission..." I put a tshirt on and layed in the bed. She sat next to me and I told her, "I don't know how to tell you....I...he used me, over and over, last night. He had me suck him, fuck him, serve him, wash him, I....." She looked intense, "Tell me what happened, exactly." So, I did, bit by bit, piece by piece. As I told her, she was....spellbound, amazed, but, seemed...happy? I couldn't tell exactly, but, when I got to the part about him treating me like a dog, she took my hand and thrust it into her pussy area. "Good, good, that's wonderful, isn't it a wonderful feeling to be so submissive, so dominated, so used...." I kept on with my story, all of which seemed to make her hornier. When I finished, she said, "That's fucking incredible.....I need you to take care of me, now..." and she pushed my head between her legs. I started to give her oral through her panties and couldn't believe how soaked she was. I pulled her panties off and sucked and licked her wet pussy. She got in the 69 position and started to grind her pussy into my face while kissing my cock through my panties. I wanted, hell, I needed to have her take me in her mouth, but, I wouldn't dare defy Justin. So, I ****** myself to think of other things so I wouldn't cum, all the while, eating her out until she tensed and came.

"That was incredible," she said and moved up to kiss me. "Baby, we're his now, isn't it wonderful, isn't it incredible?" I didn't know how to answer, so I said, "I can't think of anything else but satisfying him, serving him..." She smiled. "Now you know how I feel, finally," she said. "Yeah," I said, "but is this real, I mean, we're really not his slaves, I mean, this is all...make believe, right?" She smiled, "Are those welts on your ass make believe? Are those panties you're wearing make believe?" I smiled for the first time, "No, they're real, but...I mean, we can stop this when we want..." She looked at me, "Do you want to stop?" I thought and said, "No, I don't."

"Quit worrying about real and fantasy," she said, "It's as real as anything else we do." I guess she was right. We both fell asleep. Truthfully, my body was in major pain, yet, I still...tingled. I thought maybe he had (literally) struck a nerve or something but, I don't know, it felt good, pleasurable. Laying there was the first time I thought about his questions about choosing between Amber and him. I was very analytical, and, I wondered how I hadn't thought of it before. What was he getting at, what were his plans? I didn't dare ask him. I remembered our conversation months earlier where he said that he wanted a relationship with the girl he was dating (Becky). Maybe, that was it, maybe he was moving forward with Becky and wanted me to be around when he needed money, sex or someone to order around. Maybe, his psyche needed to continue to humiliate and dominate me regardless of whether he and Amber fucked around. I tried to think it through, but, I couldn't stop thinking about his swagger, his command of me. He'd treated me like a dog, like a slave, like a slut and I wanted more. I kept thinking of sexually serving him. I couldn't get the thought or taste of his cock, his ass, his cum out of my mind.

I had played slave before with Kevin and Kristy, but, I had never been so preoccupied with the thought to serving a man. I drifted to sleep, thinking of him, not the girl lying next to me, but him and his manhood.

When I woke up, I made coffee and then went to the bathroom to get every single little hair off of my body. I looked at my body in the mirror, I was thin but still needed to lose a little weight to look my best. I hadn't eaten in a day and had no intention of having anything substantial that day. I also needed to tone my body a little and needed to get back to the gym. I showered and then got my homemade gaff out, taping my cock down and placing it on me. I painted my toenails and fingernails. I wanted to look good for Justin, but, didn't want to detract from Amber, so I wore a pair of woman's jeans, a nice top and a pair of wedge sandals. I thought of wearing a wig, but, decided against it at the moment. I did, lightly, apply some makeup. Amber came in as I got ready and said, "You look great." She showered and I dressed her in one of her new school girl outfits. She looked so hot and slutty that I, for the first time, started to think of sex with her rather than Justin.

She started drinking wine and I drank Canadian whiskey. I was famished and so I started to buzz almost immediately. Justin got there an hour or so later and sat on the couch and immediately had Amber between his legs while I went to get him a beer. She rubbed his legs and unzipped his jeans and rubbed and kissed his cock through his underwear. He was feeling good and wanted her to do a little dance for him, with her back to him. While she danced, he took his hands and rubbed them on her ass and pussy. After a few minutes, he asked her what she wanted and she whispered in his ear. He laughed and told her to bring him a beer up to his bedroom (the Master) and wait for him. She did and ordered me over to his feet. "I haven't showered since work, I know you like sweaty feet, lick them." I pulled his socks off and licked his salty, sweaty feet. They tasted fantastic and I couldn't stop making "mmmmmm" noises. "You look good," he said, "I want you to look good for me all the time." I said, "Yes, Master, I'm glad.." I now sucked each of his toes like I was sucking his cock. Finally, he stood up and said, "Well, I don't want to disappoint her, she is waiting..." and he went upstairs.

Their sex started almost immediately. I could hear her moans, his grunts, the bed moving. I wanted to watch, but, knew, he didn't want me there. It went on for a long while and I could hear most of it. She cried out so I guess he had made her orgasm. On and on it went, until, finally silence. A few minutes later, she came down completely naked. She walked over to me and straddled my face ( I sat on the floor, near the couch) and let his cum (or what was left of it) drip into my mouth. "Whatever you did for him yesterday and today, you need to keep doing," she said, "He was incredible tonight." I smiled. She then went and got a beer from the refrigerator and went back upstairs. Every 20 minutes or so, she came down, naked, and got beer for him or wine for her. She said no more to me and around 11:00, I heard the sex start again. Again, it was loud and lasted nearly 45 minutes. Again, after the silence, she came to me and let his juices drip into my mouth. "Justin told me to tell you that since he can't fuck you tonight, he still wanted you to taste him." I told her to tell him "thank you" for me.

Around midnight, I went to my bed and Amber came in an hour or so later. "He's going to sleep over tonight," she said, simply, "he wants to sleep alone." She climbed in bed with me and said, "I mean it, whatever you're doing for him, keep doing it." I had taken the gaff off for sleep and felt my hard on. I knew I wasn't getting anything from her. She was tired. "You can kiss my feet, for awhile," she said and I did. All I thought of was how badly I wanted him and how much I was enjoying serving her.

More later.

 

[kevinsslave]

She was still completely naked. "Where are your clothes?" I asked. "In his room," she said, then giggled, "he said since you like cock now, my body won't have any effect on you." I wanted to say, "he's wrong," but why bother.

We both fell to sleep and I woke up early as I had several court appearances. Amber was gone from the bed, but, not from the house, so I assumed at some point during the night, Justin had summonsed her into the Master bedroom. I had to take the nail polish off my fingernails, but, left it on my toes. No one would see it with my socks and shoes on and, anyway, it kind of turned me on to leave it on. I wondered as I drove to court whether anyone would suspect that I wore panties and nail polish under my suit and shoes.

I had a very busy day, but, during the lulls, I thought about Amber and Justin. I couldn't stop thinking about serving them, satisfying them. I felt like I had to think of something else, but, I couldn't. I really had to force myself to concentrate. Amber wanted to meet for lunch, so we met at a really nice restaurant. She looked fantastic and our discussion was about things other than Justin.

After lunch, we walked to our cars and she said, "I have to tell you that the sex last night with Justin was so incredible. He was so hard and went for so long, I had three orgasms." She laughed, then said, "I really need you to have sex with him on the nights before he comes over, I mean it." I went to kiss her and she pulled away, "I mean it, are you going to do it?" I said "yes" and she kissed me on the cheek. "Thanks, sweetie," she said and got in her car. I was puzzled. No kiss on the lips, "thanks, sweetie," what the fuck?

Justin called me and said he needed to see me asap. I told him I could be over at about 4:00. When I got to his place, he was on the couch and said, "Hey, I'm taking Becky to Columbus for the weekend, there's a concert she wants to see and I figured it would be a fun weekend. I need you to pay at least $500 on my credit card so I can use it to charge the room. You can pay it online." He logged into his account and we added my bank account and I paid the payment. "Listen, Justin, I said I'll take care of you, but, you can't use that account to make payments without telling me. You know, there's a limited amount in that account and I can't have checks bouncing." He smiled and said, "Don't worry, now, about taking care of me..."

I took a wad of cash out of my pocket and handed him $300. He smiled and said, "I can't quit my job because my family and Becky would wonder how am I paying for everything....but, I did tell my boss that starting next week, I just wanted one shift a week." I thought for a moment and said, "OK, I just need to know what you owe each month and to whom?" He went and got a list. "Here's everything, I've listed my account number and login info for the car and credit card. You can see where to pay the rent. Also, I only pay rent plus electric here, so the electric bill you can pay online. I gave you all the info. Plus, make sure you get me my food and stuff each week."

I looked at the list. $650 for rent, $300 for the car, $75 for electric, $50 for Macys, $100 for the Visa, $100 for his cell phone, $130 for cable and internet, $90 for car insurance. "Shit," I thought, $1,500 a month not including food, liquor and spending money. His cock was going to cost me close to, I'm sure, $30,000 a year. Not to mention all the bills I was paying for Amber, plus all the money I gave and spent on her. That was easily a $1,000 a month. Then, I still gave Kristy almost $2,500 a month. I was almost finished paying Kevin's expenses in Columbus but, still, that was 3 more months at $2,000 a month. I was paying all of Sheila's charges and some of her bills. That was a $1,000 a month. $9,000 a month for the next 3 months and, after that, $7,000 a month. My own expenses were roughly $10,000 a month. That didn't include my lunches, cigarettes, clothes, and spending money. Just covering all these expenses was going to cost me over $200,000 a year. I only made a little more than that the year before. I felt like passing out. Instead, I just looked at Justin and said, "OK, no problem...don't worry about anything, I'll make sure everything get's paid."

He smiled, "Good, now here's your reward." He unzipped his jeans and slid his cock out. I dropped to the floor and gave him head.

More later.

 

[kevinsslave]

As I sucked his cock, I thought, actually, it was a bargain for $30,000 a year. I had never felt this way. I hate to admit it, to say it, but I felt like I was falling in love with him. Please, spare me all the "gay" comments. I've repeatedly said I'm bi-sexual. There are a few types of guys I find attractive. Justin was one of those. I've thought about it a lot in recent days as I reflect back on these events. Women, I'd had and loved so many. Men, even the ones I found attractive never made me feel like I felt then. Complicating it all were my real feelings for Amber, Kristy and Sheila. I felt like I was in love with them all. Maybe, I was just "in lust" with Amber, but, I knew that I did love Kristy and Sheila.

I had started to have other, strange fantasies in my mind. Fantasies where Justin and I lived together. Fantasies where I still served him and slept each night next to him clad in panties. I wasn't all femmed up, just the panties and sometimes stockings or woman's socks, but, I slept with him, took care of him, spent time with him. Fantasies where I was out in the open with him, going to restaurants and bars (out of town, of course, LOL). I didn't understand the whole thing. I figured that I needed to see my counselor again, and quick. Something strange was happening to me.

When he blew his load in my mouth, I really thought, "Hell, I'd pay anything to be with him like this." I left and went home. The money issues kept playing in my head, but, I could see that I had no choice but to work harder, make more money. I wasn't about to stop helping Kristy and Sheila. It was the right thing to do, I loved them and I owed them both that much. I thought of cutting off Kevin, but, I had given my word to him last year and it was only 3 more months. I wasn't about to not take care of Justin, hell, at the moment, he was the only one I desperately craved to take care of. And Amber, well......

When I got home, she was there. "I thought you had to work, tonight," I said. "I didn't feel like going in, tonight," she replied. "You don't mind, right?" I said I didn't. She had just come from exercising. She was in gray yoga pants and a pink top. She was slightly sweaty and she slid off her shoes revealing her moist white socks. She sat on the chair in the living room and I knew that she was offering me her feet. What could I do, I'm a junkie, I went right to them and inhaled her scents. I loved moist socks, straight from the gym. Her feet had that slightly salty taste. My cock was rock hard after a minute. She let me play with her feet for well over a half hour and then it was time for me to satisfy her. We went up to bed and spooned. I kissed her sweaty shoulders and back, while grinding into her ass, all the while rubbing her pussy. As usual, when she was near orgasm, she grabbed my hand and pressed it firmly into the right spot and I rubbed there, with her hand on top of mine until she tense and came.

I moved to kiss her lips and she turned away. "Justin said you can kiss me, he didn't say that I could kiss you and besides...." I was quiet then said, "Besides what?" She said, "Never mind." I responded, "No, I want to know, what?" She sighed, "Well, I mean, you...want to be all feminine. I don't kiss my girlfriends, why would I kiss you, you know what I mean?" I started to get upset, "No, I don't know what you mean. I started this for you, this is what..." She cut me off, "Bullshit, you love his cock, just admit it." I thought for a second and said, "OK, I'll admit it, but, I like your pussy, your tits, your mouth....I still like girls you know. I like having sex with them, with you. I'm pretty good at it, too...." She laughed, "Fine, you're right, but, I think if you really want to be feminine, and please him, you need to get used to....I don't know, not being with women." I started to yell, "That's ridiculous..." She turned to me and said, "He said 'no sex.' Now, if you want to disobey him, fine, we will, in fact, put some real underwear on, fuck me, and we'll never have to see him again. I'll let you do everything you want to me, anything you want, but, tell me the truth, are you willing to give him up?"

My hard on was gone. I wasn't in the mood. "What the fuck, Amber, I can do both, I...." She smiled, "So the answer is that you're not willing to give him up?" I looked away without answering.

More in a few.

 

[kevinsslave]

We slept together that night and I watched her as she slept. Despite my feelings for Justin, I clearly still felt deeply for Amber. I wanted to hold her, kiss her, make passionate love to her. I didn't understand what I was doing. I just couldn't settle down, couldn't figure out what I wanted. The whole thing hurt to think about.

The weekend passed rather uneventfully. I serviced Amber with my mouth and hands on several occasions. There was no more talk of having sex. I had, I suppose, made my choice and had to live with it. It had now been almost a week since I last had an orgasm and in that time, I had been in sexual situations twice a day. I ached for release, but, knew that I had given Justin my word. Amber, for her part, seemed to thoroughly enjoy tormenting me. Her feet were on me and in my face constantly. She walked around the house in panties and tshirts. She loved letting me kiss her, serve her. I also sensed for the first time that she actually was a bit upset about Justin being with another girl. I wondered if she was starting to develop feelings for him. I figured it must be hard to be with someone that much, to fantasize that much and not develop feelings. Hell, I had those feelings for him and her. I couldn't believe it, but, I, myself, then started to get a little jealous. She was supposed to be my girl.

He was in great spirits when he came over on Tuesday night. At one point, we were playing bowling on Wii. While we played, he brought up that he needed a new car. I didn't really have the money, but, I figured, if he wanted it, I'd get it. "OK," I said, "if you beat me at this game, we'll get it tomorrow." He laughed, "You never beat me at bowling, fine, that's a sucker's bet." I said, "Probably, but don't you want to know what I get if you lose?" He laughed, "Sure, what?" I told him, "For one night, I get to call the shots, I get to do what I want." He looked at me, "Oh, fuck, I guess you'll want fucked all night, hmmm?" I smiled, "Never mind, is it a bet?"

We played and I won. He was pissed. "Double or nothing," he said. I laughed and agreed. I won again. "What the fuck," he said, "you never win. One more rematch." I said, "OK, but now you owe me 2 nights, if I win, I get a weekend." He stared at me, "Fine." I won again and he threw the wii remote down. "Fuck, fuck," he said, "When is Amber getting here?" I laughed, "Want to take out your frustration on her?" I responded. Then I went on, "She gets off at 8:00, she'll shower and I'll get her ready for you, now, are you going to live up to the bet?" He unzipped his pants, "Fine, go to town," he said. "Oh, don't worry, there will be plenty of that, but, I get a weekend, this weekend, slave on top of Master, then," I said as I laughed. "You ain't fucking me," he said. I laughed, "Just a figure of speech, I still want you to be on top, sexually, and fuck me, but....." He glared at me. I continued, "We're going away this weekend, just you and me, to Columbus, just like you and Becky...And, we are going to go out and eat at nice places, go to bars, have fun and.....how can I say this, we're going to be 'public.'"

He stared at me, "Public? What the fuck is public?" I looked into his eyes, "'Public' is holding hands when we're out, 'public' is kissing on the lips, 'public' is acting like a couple for everyone, 'public' is...." He yelled, "Fuck you, no way. You fucking faggot, there is no way that..." I, for the first time in a long time, spoke firmly, "You know, Master, I will do anything for you. I take care of you, clean for you, buy you things, suck you, I do a lot. Are you telling me that you won't honor your bet?" He was quiet, then said, "And if I don't, what the fuck are you going to do about it?" I still spoke firmly, "I don't know, maybe, I won't be so generous." He came near me, and shouted, "You'll fucking do whatever I tell you." I spoke calmly and firmly, "Not if you welch on a bet."

He grabbed his coat and stormed out. When Amber came home, she was pissed, but, could see I was pissed too, so she said nothing. I really wanted to call him and tell him "I was sorry," but, it didn't seem right to me. I would have bought him that car the next day if he won. When I woke up that next morning, he had sent me a text saying, "Fine, when do we leave?" I texted back, "Fri. @ 4:00."

More later.

 

[kevinsslave]

Anyone who is put off by male/male sex, should skip this post. You've been warned.

The next day, I assured him, "Don't worry, I have no intention of acting like a fag, but, there are a couple things I just want to try." He seemed troubled, "Like what, what the fuck, I mean, you're my bitch...." I smiled, "And, I'm still your bitch, but, you know, you lost the bet. It's one weekend. That's it, before that and after that, whatever you say goes....Besides, if you really don't want to honor your bet, that's fine, I'll still take care of you, you know that."

He was quiet and said, "Fuck, no, I lost the bet...whatever." I went on, "When we are in a straight restaurant, I won't kiss you or do anything to embarrass you. Anyway, no one will know us there. I have always wondered about this place called the Club, it's sort of a...bathhouse, but, don't worry, no other guys will bother us, I just really want to do something in public. Please, Justin, I know we're not gay, but, I'm bi, that's pretty obvious. I've always wondered, I just want to see what it's like." I went on, "I promise, if there is anything that you absolutely can't do, I won't force you. You'll still be the dominant one, I'll still be the one catering to you and your needs, we'll just be a little.....open about it for a weekend."

I knelt between his legs and started to rub them, kissing them, and said, "Please, Justin, let me suck you." He leaned back and let me satisfy him.

Amber was beside herself with anger. "Are you a complete fag, now," she said, that night. "No, I just want to see what it's like. I'm sorry. I'll probably hate it, you know, I really don't dream of dating men. But, since I can't take you, can't see Kristy, can't see Sheila, what the fuck am I supposed to do?" She practically spit at me, "Unbelievable is what you are. You can kiss my pussy goodbye, you will never have it again. You like cocks now, go suck cocks...." Still, she didn't leave. I guess I knew how she felt, but, I really had to try this.

So, on Friday, we drove there. He was quiet most of the way (and it's nearly a 3 hour drive). We actually left in the early afternoon, Friday, and stopped at Polaris, a fantastic mall. We shopped for new clothes and things for both of us. I loved watching him try things on and, at one point, I grabbed his hand in the mall and walked with him. It was only for a minute and I thought he was going to have a stroke. But, no one looked funny at us or said anything. Columbus actually has a fairly large gay population.

We went back to the hotel and he still seemed very tense so I gave him a long blow job. He blew his load in my mouth and seemed to relax just a bit, I think, knowing that we were still in the same positions of power. We went out that night to Ruth Chris to eat and had a great meal. Again, during the meal, I casually grabbed his hand for a few moments and held it. He was still tense, but, less than earlier.

We went to a strip bar near the hotel, had a couple drinks. We both got several lap dances from the girls and then headed back to the hotel. We both undressed and got in bed. I started to kiss his chest, his neck and then I moved to his lips. I kissed his lips (all around them) for a minute or so and he more or less just sort of stared at me. I wanted to laugh, but, didn't. Instead, I opened my mouth and started to french kiss him. After a few seconds, remarkably, I felt his tongue touch mine. I opened my eyes and saw that his were closed so I kissed him for several minutes. Then, I moved back down his neck, to his chest and legs. He was hard and I wanted to have sex.

I reached and got the lube, but, he said, "Fuck that, you want fucked, you'll get fucked" and he flipped me onto my stomach and put his tip into my ass. He worked it in, quickly, and started to fuck me, hard. My whole body shook as he took me and I moaned out. "Shut the fuck up," he said, "or you get my underwear." I muffled my moans and let him take me, forcefully and roughly. He pushed me onto my side and I opened my top leg up like a scissor and he fucked me that way for awhile. Then, he rolled me on my back and my legs went up in the air. On and on, he took me. Finally, he stood, and I dropped my feet to the floor, bending over the bed. He entered me again, this time, my cock rubbed on the bed as he fucked me. I came in seconds and, finally, he did as well. We collapsed on the bed and just lay there for a few minutes. Then, it was time to shower and, like always, I cleaned him, first.

After, I climbed into bed with him. I wore panties and a male tshirt. He said nothing. I kissed his neck for a few seconds and then his lips. "Goodnight, Master," I said and he fell to sleep.

I stared at him. I couldn't believe it, but, I had actually had a good time with him. I did feel like I was falling in love with him. It was....bizarre. The next day, I knew would be tough for both of us. I was taking him to a bathhouse and I knew, even for me, it would be hard to see all that male/male sex. See, that's the odd thing, I really never felt gay, never felt like snuggling with a guy or holding his hand or kissing him. So, I couldn't figure out why I wanted these things. I really couldn't. Was it just one more "experience" for me. Was it another way for me to humiliate myself? And, the weird thing was, while I was having sex with Justin, while my cock was rubbing against the bed, I was thinking of making love with Amber. I was thinking of how good it felt to be inside her.

Fucked up, truly.....

 

[kevinsslave]

Again, same warning, if you don't like male/male sex, don't read this post. Really, I mean it......

We woke up and ordered breakfast room service. He didn't say much, but, then, he didn't seem as tense. Still I massaged him while we waited for room service. Wouldn't you know, just as I got to licking his ass, the waiter knocked on the door. We ate and I finished first and then sat on the floor near his chair. I massaged his legs and feet and kissed his legs. "Don't you ever get tired of my cock?" he asked. "No," I said, "I never do." He sighed, a little, and spread his legs. I gave him a nice blow job and then we showered.

I tried my best to warn him about the bathhouse. I, myself, had never been to one, but, I'd read up on them online and kind of knew what to expect. I knew there would be steam rooms, private rooms, a gym, a pool, and, most importantly, no women, nothing but gay men. Still, even I felt funny as we went in. I had made sure that we went to a bar before getting there. I wanted he and I to be good and ***** before we tried this.

I bought us each a one time membership and, fortunately, was able to rent us a private room. Who knew that rooms and lockers would be so hard to come by? There were men in towels, everywhere. Young, old, middle aged, you name it. I held his hand as we walked around and stayed close to him. I could tell he was very uncomfortable (as was I). We did find a group of normal acting guys talking about Ohio State basketball and that seemed to calm Justin and me down a bit. At one point, one of the men said he'd never seen us before and introduced himself. "We're just visiting town for the weekend," I said and introduced us (dummy me, I used our real names). "What do you guys do?" he asked. Justin actually answered, "I'm a waiter and my girlfriend, here, is a lawyer." The girlfriend line got a couple laughs (even I laughed at it). As we sat there, I kissed his shoulders every now and then, letting everyone see. It felt....exhilarating, in a way. A younger Italian looking guy asked, "So how long have you two been together." I answered, "about 6 months." Justin sort of smirked and I added, "I really had to chase him to catch him." Justin's face went red. We all talked some more and I rubbed Justin's shoulders, letting everyone see that I was the submissive one in our relationship. Finally, one of the younger guys said, "Looks like you two need to head to a room." I smiled and said, "You're right," kissed Justin on the lips and said, "Come on, baby, you need release."

A couple of the guys followed us and we went in our room. They stayed outside but said, "Leave the door open." I sat Justin down and took his towel off. His cock was fully erect and I started to give him head. I played, though, to the audience, really sucking long and deep while jacking his shaft off with my hand. He certainly didn't have stage fright because he grabbed my head and pushed it on and off his cock. He came in my mouth and I swallowed his load. He washed off and while he was doing that, one of the younger guys said, "Hey, counselor, how about serving my needs?" He pulled his towel off and revealed a long, thick cock. Had to be 9". He was really fit and clearly Italian. "Sure, sweetheart," I said, "Got a rubber?" Then, Justin said, "Wo, beat it. He's with me." I was kind of shocked and the young Italian guy sort of laughed, "No harm in trying."

When they left, I looked at Justin and said, "Jealous?" He scowled, "No, but, I mean, what the fuck, I'm right here, he doesn't know about us, I mean, he thinks I'm your boyfriend and right in front of me, he wants you to blow him..." I laughed, "Like I said, jealous?" Even he laughed. I kissed him on the mouth, and we started to french kiss. Finally, he said, "Can we leave now, I've had enough for one day." I laughed, "Sure, me too."

More later.

 

[kevinsslave]

No warning for this post (that should tell you something).

We slept until noon on Sunday. It was our last day of escape, we had to had back on Monday. It was sort of an awkward day in a lot of ways as I think both of us knew that we'd be home soon and whatever this trip was, it was almost over.

We had to go out for breakfast and did a little more shopping. For a laugh, we went in a Banana Republic and looked at some woman's clothes. A young sales girl came up and asked if we needed help and Justin said, "my girlfriend, here, wants to look cute for me, he's looking for some tops to match the chinos." The girl looked at me and giggled, "Oh my God..." Now it was my turn to be embarrassed. "Well," she recovered, "you're nice and thin, and well built, you'd look great in...." I shot daggers at Justin, but, then, on the other hand, I did want to be "public." I actually bought 2 outfits and shoes there and we went to get dinner.

This time, we went to Hyde Park Steak House, had a great meal and a lot of drinks. I was sad, though, as it was all coming to an end. I didn't want it to end so sadly so we headed back to the cabaret. We drank a lot and had private dances, etc. Then, the strangest thing happened. The 2 girls that soaked us all night (dancer names, of all things, Amber and Brittany, real names Lisa and Michelle) seemed particularly interested in us. On a lark, I said, "You girls want to join us for breakfast." Remarkably, they agreed. So, when the place closed down, they changed into street clothes and followed us to a Dennys type restaurant. At breakfast, Lisa (my girl, hot, hot, hot, taller, thin, 25 year old blond) asked how we knew each other. "He's my brother, adopted of course," I said. It's the kind of line that at 2:00 in the morning, *****, gets a lot of laughter. What did we do for a living: "My brother runs a restaurant (a bit of a stretch, he was a food server/waiter) and I am a lawyer." What were we doing in town, "to see EC, of course (Eric Clapton, he has a home there)."

We laughed and joked and I asked if they wanted to come back to the hotel for a night cap. They did and then it hit me. I was in woman's panties and had no men's to change into. Fortune smiled on me, though, as there was an all night department store/grocery store supercenter right by the restaurant. I told the girls that I had to get gas and cigarettes and said, "Finish your coffee and sweet Justin, here, will keep you fine company. I'm going to run and get some smokes and gas and will be back..." I raced to the store, bought some Hanes, rubbers and cigarettes and made it back in 10 minutes.

We headed back to the hotel and, again, fortune smiled on me in that I had rented us a suite so even though Justin and I had been sharing a bed, there were actually 2 bedrooms. We all drank and at some point, on the satellite TV, the Doors "Touch Me" came on. I did my best, drunken Jim Morrison impression and dear old Lisa said, after a few giggles, "Oh my God, you're that actor that played him in the movie." I gave her my best Val Kilmer smile (some people did say I resembled him) and said, "How d'ya guess?" Michelle was thunderstruck by the idea that they were with a real star. Even in my inebriated state, I couldn't do this to them and said, "Ladies, I may look like Val Kilmer, but, sadly, I'm not. I do, however, plan on enjoying the rest of this night as dear old Jim Morrison would" and with that, I took Lisa by the arm, grabbed some beers and a bottle of whiskey, and took her into the bedroom. I had, earlier (as soon as we got back to the hotel) changed into my Hanes and I had given Justin some rubbers on the car ride there.

Lisa was one fucking hot and wild lady. She liked me, she said, because I was cute, smart and light (whatever that meant). She straddled my cock and rode me like a horse. I felt like I could have sex all night and made her cum, easily. I then, put her on her back, and put her feet up over my shoulders and fucked her until I came. While I fucked her (and she made little purring noises, sort of like "rowwwwwwll" LOL), I kissed her feet which were near my face. When we were done, she asked if I liked feet. "Only yours," I smiled. She said a lot of guys had that fetish. In the other room, Michelle and Justin had long since ceased fucking, but, we all met out in the living room area for one last drink and then we retired to our beds with our women.

Not really what I was expecting to happen on our last night, but, incredible just the same.

More later.

 

[kevinsslave]

Lisa and I went to bed. "At the club," she said, "You said you were just visiting Columbus, do you travel a lot?" I said, "I do, how about you?" She smiled, "No, but I want to." I said, "Where do you want to go?" She sighed, "Oh God, everywhere, France, Spain, England, Australia, I'd settle for Disney World." I laughed, "So, why don't you go?" She was quiet and then said, "Pretty hard to travel with a 3 year old girl." I said, "I see."

She was quiet for a minute and said, "But, I'll go one day. It's nice to fantasize about it now, though. Sometimes, I dream a lot about the future, places I'll go, things I'll do and see...." I said, "Don't worry, that's the nice thing about the future, it really is all before us, like a blank canvas, you can do whatever your mind can dream up. I know what you mean about fantasy...dreams, it's...nice to dream." She was quiet and I said, "Tell me about your daughter." She said that she was incredibly smart for her age and older than her age. She loved Hello Kitty and Spongebob. She loved painting and coloring and made her a picture to keep with her while she was gone for the week. She reached into her purse and showed me. It was a sweet, innocent drawing (stick type figures) with a little girl with blond hair and her mother (Lisa) holding hands in a garden with the sun shining. "Sometimes," I said, "Reality is sweeter than fantasy." She smiled. "Where is she?" I asked. "With her father and his family for the week. We have shared parenting, he gets her every third week."

"I see," I said, "Divorced?" She laughed, "Never married. Met him at OSU and got pregnant." I said, "I see. Did you finish school?" She sighed, "No, pretty hard to do when you have a 3 year old daughter. I took the job dancing because I can make a lot of money working 3 days a week, plus, I usually only work after my daughter goes to bed. My sister watches her for me until I get home."

She rubbed my chest, "I have a secret, I saw you come in the club a couple nights ago, you caught my eye then." I laughed, "Really, why?" She said, "You aren't like most of the men that come in, you're more laid back, more respectful, I guess. Sweeter, I don't know. I like older men." I laughed and nearly spit my drink out, "Gee, thanks." She said, "No, I didn't mean it like that, I..." I laughed, "It's OK, I like young chicks." She smirked, "touche'."

She went on, "I tried to get to you the other night, but, another girl had already sat at your table." I smiled, "Well, better late than never." She went on, "You're a wonderful lover. Not like most men, they just want to stick it in and pump away. You're more....considerate and passionate. Do you know you must have kissed me and my body 300 times tonight." I laughed, "You counted?" She laughed, "No, it was just...how I thought it would be when I first saw you. Plus, you're smart and funny."

This was, as the saying goes, "a developing situation." She said, "What it's like where you live (she really asked what's it's like in [my city's name] but, as I'm sure you've noticed, Dear Reader, I never mention my name or my city's name)?" "It's a lot more quiet than here, no pretty, smart blonds like you there and no Hyde Parks or Ruth Chris's, but, it's OK, I've made a good life there and I can always travel." She was quiet, "Maybe, I can visit you there someday-wait, I don't want to freak you out, I'm not a ..." I cut her off, "It's OK, I feel it too, that would be nice if you visit me. I'll show you all the highlights and hot spots of my town and an hour later we'll head to Pittsburgh." She laughed, "I've never been there, either."

"No boyfriend?" I asked. "Again," she said, "pretty hard when you have a 3 year old daughter, plus, you know, most guys are jealous, don't really want to date a woman that dances for men all night. Are you jealous?" I nearly, again, spit my drink out, "No," I said, "not at all." She looked at me, "How is it that you're not married?" I paused and said, "I am. But, wait, hold on, I'm separated, really separated, for over a year now. She lives 70 miles away in another city." She said, "What happened?" I breathed in and said, "Well, that would take forever to explain, but, in a nutshell, I'd say we grew apart. Funny thing, though, she too is blond and young and used to dance in a men's club much like yours."

"Are you leaving tomorrow?" she asked. "Well," I said, "I was, but, I think I've decided to stay a bit longer. Are you free?" She snuggled next to me, "All day." I smiled, "Well, then, it's a date."

She fell asleep after a few minutes and I gently caressed her hair. She was just gorgeous and smart and funny and witty and....."here I go again," I thought. But, if you ever met someone and right away sparks flew and you knew, just knew, it was right, you'd know how I felt that night.

And, for once, I'll clue you in on something, Dear Reader. That night was about 6 weeks ago and I just got off the phone with Lisa. I made plans to see her this weekend. In between then and now, we've seen each other 4 times. And, I ended my call with "I love you, too."

Funny how life works out. More later.

 

[kevinsslave]

I called the office early Monday and told the secretary to clear out Wednesday's schedule (just in case). Tuesday was fairly clear already. I texted Amber and told her we were staying an extra day as we "met some interesting people." She almost immediately texted back "WTF??????" I turned the phone off and then I crawled back into bed and slept with Lisa. I had quite a hangover and couldn't wait to get back to sleep.

We slept until afternoon. I felt like I was in my 20s again with all this late sleeping. LOL. I asked Justin if he minded staying another day. He looked at Michelle and said, "Are you kidding?" She was a cute brunette, with a phenomenal body. I needed breakfast at Bob Evan's (I was dying for Bacon and their cinnamon pancakes). Michelle and Justin didn't feel like going, instead, they were going to work out at the hotel gym and catch a swim at the indoor pool. I handed him, privately, some spending money. Michelle had been the driver of their car last night, so I assumed it was her car and they could use it if they needed to go anywhere.

Lisa and I drove to get breakfast. On the way, I swung by her house so she could change clothes. "I was about to say I never took you for a Country guy," she said, referring to the music playing in my car "but this isn't really country. What is it?" In my best southern accent, I said, "The Marshall Tucker Band. They are country and western, with some blues, jazz, rock, swing, you name it. One of the best bands to come out of the 70s." The song playing was "Am I the Kind of Man." She asked if she would know any of their stuff. I sang a little of "Heard It In A Love Song" and she knew it. "That and a lot of their other hits are later on the CD. Do you like it?" I said. "I love them, it's great," she said.

At breakfast we talked about a lot of things: music, movies, school, politics, history and, even, great works of fiction. It turns out she had been an English Major before she quit school. I, of course, had double majored in college, with one of the majors being English, so we had a lot to talk about.

After we ate, I felt like shopping so we headed to Polaris. We looked, mostly, but I could tell what kind of person she was because most of what she looked at were things for her daughter. There were a couple decent sales and I said, "Come on, I'll buy those for you." She looked....puzzled, "You don't have to buy me anything. I can afford things we need." I looked at her and said, "I know, come on, I want to." She said, "Really, that's OK, I'd feel funny." I laughed, this was refreshing. "Nothing to feel funny about, I'll tell you what, right now I have a little extra, in 3 months I might be broke, so let's spend it while we can." She grabbed my hand, "If you're going to be broke, then save your money." I smiled, touched, "Really, now I insist. Your daughter will love these, plus," I added, picking up an Angel Cat Sugar stuffed animal, "if she likes Hello Kitty, she'll like this. The same artist created them"

She was quiet and then asked, "How do you know about Hello Kitty?" It seemed like an eternity passed before I answered, "Well, believe it or not, Good Time Charlie here has a little girl, too. She's 9 and I went through the whole Hello Kitty phase. Ha, I'm still going through it." I paid for the things and we went to the Food Court and got a coffee. "Is she with your wife?" she asked.

And, Dear Reader, I need to interject here that this is how I knew that Lisa was...special. I really didn't talk much about my daughter to anyone. I know that I've never mentioned her in this Forum. But, somehow, this blond dancer that I just met seemed to make me.....want to unburden myself.

"No," I responded, "I had her before I was married. The product of a 2 night stand. Her mother and I dated for a couple of weeks and....well, you understand Biology." Lisa asked, "Where is she, now?" I sighed, "She's in South Carolina, Columbia, to be exact. Her mother is a teacher there. So is her stepfather." She sensed the sadness in my voice. "Do you see her?" I brightened a bit, "Sure, I do, she stays with me for 3 weeks or so each summer. I go down and spend another week at Charleston or Hilton Head or North Myrtle and pick her up. I usually see her a couple days at Christmas. Other times, too. I.....she has gymnastics, dance, soccer, you name it. I don't bring her to Ohio during the year, other than summer, I don't want to...disrupt her life. We talk at least twice a week, she emails me everyday. I bought her a computer when she was 5 and taught her to email." I laughed. "In fact, I'm driving down in a couple of weeks to see her dance recital."

I told her that for the first 4 years of her life, her mother and I lived in the same town, so I saw my girl every other weekend. But, her mom got a job at University of South Carolina and, even I knew, she had to take it. "I suppose I could have kept them with me by proposing to her mother, but, I didn't love her mother. I would have gotten married for all the wrong reasons. Truthfully, we hadn't even been together, in that way, since the night she got pregnant. I knew she needed to be with her mom, her mom is actually a wonderful, bright, sweet woman....."

Lisa grabbed my hand. "Anyway," I went on, "when they moved, my life.....it...seemed to fall apart. I succumbed to a lot of demons that had been chasing me all my life. I guess I seemed to stop....caring, stop living." I was silent, then continued, "Then her mom met a nice guy, a really nice guy there at the college and they got married, had a child of their own. But, he's a good man. My daughter has a beautiful life there." I couldn't believe it, but, I started to cry. Not a lot, but enough that she noticed. "You dear man," she said and hugged me.

Lisa said, "I know how hard it can be. Sometimes, I feel so alone, so....disconnected from people. Some of it, I do on purpose, I mean, look where I work. I don't really want to know a lot of the people that go in that place. But, especially when she's with her dad, I just feel....alone, empty...." I said, "I feel like that too, the problem is, I seem to....isolate myself. I don't want....I don't want to be with people, I like the distance."

And, you know, this is one of the deep dark secrets that has plagued me for so long. That's what I learn at counseling. I punish myself for letting my girl go, even if it was the "smart" decision. All the wildness, all the demons that I always felt (from when I was teen) I succumb to, hell, I embrace them. I really feel the sexual excitement, the sexual thrill, but, nothing deeper. I talk of love, but, do I really love these people that I get involved with. You can't love when you put up walls and distance yourself, emotionally, from them.

"But," Lisa said, "You're going to see her in a couple of weeks." My mood brightened, "Yeah, for her dance recital. She sent me pics of her in her dance outfit. She looks so beautiful and she's so excited. I can't wait." The rest of the afternoon, Lisa stayed....close to me. I don't know how else to describe it. She was physically close. Holding my hand, rubbing my shoulder, hugging me. It was a remarkable day. I felt like some gigantic weight had been lifted from me. We went to Mitchell's for a fantastic steak dinner (I love great steak) and then went to a quiet little bar for a couple of drinks. "Can you stay tonight?" she asked. "The real question is can you stay with me tonight?" I said. She laughed, "You don't think you're getting rid of me, do you?"

We went back to the hotel and Justin was gone. We went to my room and had, well, incredible sex. In fact, I would say for the first time in a long time, I made love to a woman. Morning arrived too quickly and it was time to say "goodbye." She looked, scared, "I don't want to sound like some stalker, but....do you promise you'll call me?" I smiled, "I promise. Don't worry, we still have that one hour grand tour of my city [again, in real life, I used the name]." She laughed, "Besides, which," I said, "I want to be with you when all those fantasies start becoming reality." She kissed me, "I want you there, too.....Is this crazy? I mean it's like a movie or something." I laughed, "For once, dear Lisa, I'm not going to overthink things. Let's just....let it flow."

She left and now all that was left for me to do was clear the mess up that I had left in my wake over the past few years. Don't get me wrong, I didn't really know then where I was heading, I just knew that it was time for a change, a real change.

More soon.

 

[kevinsslave]

I sat and drank coffee, looking at the hotel door, for a long time. Finally, Justin emerged from his room looking, well, like shit. "Rough night?" I asked. He grunted. He poured a cup of the room service coffee and finally spoke, "Where's Lisa?" I said, "Gone, Michelle?" He sort of laughed, "I lost track of her somewhere around 4:00 this morning, don't even ask how I got back here." Silence, "You like her, don't you?" he asked. I nodded and said, "That obvious?" He laughed, "Dude, she's in love with you...I can't figure it out." I shot him a dirty look and he laughed. He was in his underwear and a tshirt and I have to tell you, the sight of his body did stir me a bit. Yet, somehow, I instinctively knew that the moment had passed. Whatever we seemed to share this weekend and in the past was gone.

"What are you going to tell Amber, she texted me a million times last night," he said. Now it was my turn to laugh, but with a note of disgust, "Oh....fuck Amber. She's crazy anyway. Besides, she still has you." He cleared his throat, "It's funny you should say that because...well, I guess I tried to tell you this that night at my apartment...." I cut him off, "Let me guess, you're hooking up once and for all with Becky." He was quiet and then said, "Yeah, something like that." I shook my head, "I don't blame you."

It was a strange moment in my life, so much unspoken, unsaid and yet everything seemed clear...known. He cleared his throat, "Did you ever get tired of fucking?" I laughed and said, "No, what are you a fag?" He didn't like the joke. "Just kidding," I said, "Sure, a lot of times, particularly, meaningless sex." He said, "Well, that's just it, with Becky it feels...different." I laughed, "Maybe you're in love or growing up or both, kid." More silence. "We have to leave in awhile," I finally said. "OK," he said, "I'm gonna sleep on the ride home." I laughed. I looked at him and said, "I want you to know.....this weekend was...fun, special, I... thank you." I got up to go pack and he said, "Hey....I shouldn't tell you this, but, I...well, I was a little jealous at that Club." I smiled and he said, "Fuck, don't say anything, please, I should have just let you suck that donkey dick."

The ride home seemed quick. I was lost in my own thoughts and, good to his word, Justin slept the whole way back. I dropped him off at his place and told him to call me in a few days, "Don't worry," I said, "I'll take care of you for awhile." He shook his head, but, I insisted, I said, "Trust me, this weekend was worth a few grand."

Amber was waiting for me and pounced on me when I came through the door. "What the fuck, who did you meet, what did you do?" I just shook my head and said, "Relax, we'll talk about everything, let me just decompress." I went to my room (the guest room) grabbed some shorts and a t shirt, then headed in the Master Bedroom to go to the bathroom. Amber was following me, "You're not allowed in there," she said. I said, "I'm allowed anywhere, it's my fucking house." I urinated and came out to change. She saw my male underwear. "What the fuck happened?" she said.

"Amber," I said, "sit down, we have a lot to talk about." I told her bits and pieces of the weekend and told her that I met someone, someone I wanted to get to know. I told her Justin was headed down his own path with someone else. I told her that something had changed. "You said you loved me," she said. "And, I probably, in some warped way, do," I said, "But, let's face it, our relationship wasn't.....healthy, it was heading somewhere neither one of us should go. I mean, you stopped wanting to kiss me, to be with me." She cried, "It's what you wanted, it's..." I cut her off, "You're right, it's what I wanted, I don't want it anymore." She was silent, "We can just date, I love you, you say you love me..." I looked her in the eyes, "I don't think we....or I should say 'I'...I don't think I can go back to dating. I'm sorry. Our relationship was....great, but, it was unhealthy. We couldn't stop each other. We were heading deeper and deeper into....I don't know, darkness, chaos." We went back and forth for hours. In the end, she saw that I had made my mind up.

"Listen, Amber, I think you're beautiful, I think you're wonderful, great. I want to help take care of you for as long as you need it. I'd actually like to be....friends or, at least, friendly. I mean it. I enjoy being with you, I just have to break with my past for now, change my direction...." She was crying and I held her close. "Let's just rest for now, come on, things will be fine." We lay next to each other in the Master Bed and I covered us up with the blanket and sheet. I held her for a long time until we both dozed off. It had been hard, awful really, but, I had found some way to close our relationship.

More later.

 

[kevinsslave]

I woke up hours later and, like Kristy, a year ago, Amber was gone. All her things were gone too. All that remained was a note on the table that said "I love you." I felt terribly sad, I actually missed her. Knowing what the right thing to do is a lot easier than actually doing it. It was late, near 9:00. I wanted to call Lisa, but, I knew she was working. Instead, I sent her a text saying "Lonely days are long, twilight sings this song, I saw you in my dreams, I held you in my dreams." I knew it was a bit much, but, what the hell.

A couple hours later, she texted back, "Someone took you right out of my arms, Still I feel the thrill of your charms...Awww.... I cheated and googled the lyrics. LOL. Plz stay up so I can call later. XOXO"

I had to give her credit, she had me intrigued. I was, after all, quoting a Joe Brown song that wasn't too well known. I felt.....all warm and fuzzy. LOL. But, seriously, to show that things hadn't changed too drastically yet with me, I must confess, I was a bit turned on knowing that as I thought of her, she was actually shaking her nearly naked body in front of a bunch of sexually charged and horny men. She called me close to 2:15 and we talked until 4:00. It was the kind of talk two people have when they first meet and never seem to run out of things to say. It was sweet and gave me strength for what I had to do next.

Sheila. I dreaded talking to her, but, I had to. It was a gorgeous spring day and she came to my house. It was awkward at first, then she said, "Let me guess, you met someone young, blond and beautiful." I laughed, "How did you know?" She sighed, "Because that was me 17 years ago, remember?" I took her hand and said, "You'll always be young, blond and beautiful to me." She smiled, "Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if I had just chosen you all those years ago..." I whispered, "I'm sure I didn't make it easy for you to choose me....But, you know, I can honestly say that you're one of the few people that has stayed in my life for all these years. That has to be for a reason. I love you, Sheila, I really and sincerely do. I've loved you all these years. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you." She began to cry.

"Don't cry, please, I can't...." I started to cry. "I do love you, honey, I do, I just.....I've polluted so much, wrecked so much," I said, "I don't want you out of my life, I don't....I just don't know what I can offer now other than to tell you how much I love you, how I'll always love you..." She smiled, "There are worse things, I guess, and I am sorry for what I did when I was young, I've....always loved you too. You'll never know how much. And, my girls they just think the sun shines on you....." She was crying again.

I pulled her onto my lap and kissed her cheeks, her tears. "I think the world of your girls, honey, I do, I just.....I need to do something different. Everything I've done up to now has been...wrong...or I've done it the wrong way. I need to straighten my mind, I need to...." She cut me off, "You need to forgive yourself for your daughter, you need to learn to love yourself, you are, or you can be, a sweet, gentle, caring and loving man..." Silence, then I said, "I don't want you out of my life, I want to see you, but, I just don't know what I can offer, emotionally, I want you to be happy, I wish it was with me......" She hugged me, and she said "We were friends a lot longer than we were lovers, I can be your friend, for now, I can, it will be hard, but......"

"Want to have sex?" I said. She laughed, a little, and playfully punched me. I hugged her and didn't want to let go. We stayed that way for a long time. I wouldn't say that I had closure with Sheila because I had no intention of leaving her life, but, at least we seemed to find some sense of understanding, some sense of peace.

I should say that I have spent time with her and her daughters since that day. I really believe that whatever the future brings, they'll always be a big part of my life. And, I wasn't lying to her, she always will be young and beautiful in my eyes and heart. I do love her.

Anyway, I've thought that I've written all this in a forum for cuckolds. I know that these last several posts have been way off that topic. I guess I feel compelled to complete my cuckold story even if it is about leaving the cuckold life behind. I was a cuckold, I was a humiliation slut, I was a lot of things. Some of it, I'm glad I did, some of it, I regret. I said goodbye to the lifestyle before and got back into it, somehow, this time just seems different. I think it is because I've finally come to terms with so many of the things that led me down the path I took.

To this moment, I still get hot at the thought of my wife fucking her boyfriend, the thought of Amber fucking Justin, the thought of Justin dominating me. I suppose I'll always find those things sexually stimulating. I guess I always was turned on by the notion of these things. There are probably a million psychological reasons why it turns me on. Some of those reasons, I understand and am dealing with. I don't regret trying it all, I don't. Hell, it was a great ride. For all I know, I could fall back into some kind of cuck lifestyle in the future, but, I guess the way I feel now, I doubt it.

I do have to finish this story, for me. So, I hope, my Dear Friends that you'll stay with me to the end of this missive. As you can see, I still have yet to tell of my "talk" with Kristy. And, I will write about that next.

 

[duke9555]

pretty heady stuff slave .........keep it up

 

[rural]

yeah, keep it going

 

[Susan's Slave]

Best wishes to you with the new relationship. I do hope it works out, but I suggest you stay in close touch with your therapist!

 

[kevinsslave]

Thanks for the encouragement and Susan's, I have been in close touch with the therapist. LOL (but I have).

Kristy. She came to visit a few days before I was heading to SC to see my daughter. She sensed something had changed and we talked. "You're seeing someone else, aren't you? Kathy's gone..." she said. "Well,sort of, I mean, I did meet someone and Amber is gone." She looked tense, like someone steeling themselves for bad news. "You know, Kristy," I continued, "When I think of you, when I see you, when I touch you, when I hear your voice....I realize just how much I love you. I never thought I could feel like that, but, I did and do." She interjected, "But...." I paused, then said, "But...mixed in with that feeling is a sense of....anger, regret. Almost, like our moment has passed. I did everything wrong with you from the start, or I made all the wrong choices. I should have never let you...be so free. I loved you, I should have held you close to me, but, you see, I've blamed you for your choices and I was just as much at fault. I wanted the distance, I didn't want to be close, it left me alone. Alone and unattached, unencumbered-detached. Somehow, though, even with all that, I still stayed in love with you....I'm still in love with you..." She started to cry, "I should have realized how much I love you, needed you, wanted you," she said, "it was my fault, I....." I said, "Truthfully, it was both of us, we both made all the wrong choices at least on the important things."

Then I looked at what she had set down when she came in. Shopping bags from Justice and other stores. She had bought new clothes for me to bring to Amanda, my daughter. "Well, not all the important things, you were always so sweet, so good to my daughter..." And, it was true. I never met anyone like Kristy, several days before Amanda would be coming to our place or we visiting her, Kristy converted to a vanilla attitude and life. She never let one iota of our life intrude on my girl. Even with Kevin, he was out of the house and out of her mind for the entirety of Amanda's stay.

"I love Amanda, you know that, she's the sweetest, most beautiful intelligent girl that I ever known...I...." She hugged me. The thing was, Kristy had wanted (and still wants) children, I was the sticking point there. There were times that she pleaded with me to have children. The truth was, I was scared to death to have another child, scared to death that I would have to watch another family move away. Add to that my general aversion to feeling emotions that weren't related to sex and.....It was my biggest mistake.

"Are we saying goodbye?" she said, "Because I can't...I can't do it...." she sobbed. I said earlier that it was easier knowing what the right thing to do was as opposed to actually doing it. The right thing to do at that moment was to say goodbye, but, I didn't, I couldn't bring myself to do it. Hell, I'm not perfect, but, I'm trying.

I was silent for a long time and I said, "No, we're not saying goodbye...I'm just saying that I've changed my way of thinking. I need to start looking to the future and get away from the past. To do that, I don't know, I've got to change things...starting with Amanda. I feel so distant from her and I have to be with her more. I have to end all the insanity, I need to feel alive again. I need to experience life again and I think, maybe, that means.....I don't know, I might want to see other people and I don't mean have sex with them, I mean date them...I can't let go of the feeling that whatever happened with us....it seems to weigh on me. I need to let it go, be free of it."

"Be free of me, you mean," she said. "I don't know that, Kris, I really don't," I said, "I do love you, I just know that I need to be completely free of the past. I don't want you to keep putting your life on hold for me because I don't know where I'm headed." She was quiet and then said, "But, I told you I don't mind waiting, I'll wait forever...." I said, "I know and you have no idea how....wonderful that makes me feel, but, at the same time, it makes me feel guilty."

"Then this is goodbye...." she said. I was silent and, again, instead of doing the right thing, I said "I'm not saying goodbye. I would never say goodbye to someone I love so much, I just need to find my way to somewhere...better and I really don't know where that place is, what it is or when I'll get there."

We talked for hours, sometimes we laughed, sometimes we argued, sometimes we cried. I recognized that there was an incredible bond between us, even I didn't realize it until that day. She didn't go home, in fact, she stayed the weekend. We did not have sex, but, there were intimate moments. We talked about things more deeply and thoughtfully than we ever had. There were no "goodbyes" and I suppose I really didn't accomplish much with our relationship. Truthfully, we were in the same position we'd been in for a year. I do think that we moved a little towards some eventual resolution, where and when that would be, I still don't know. I've also come to understand that life isn't like a movie or a book, there aren't always neat endings to a relationship. Sometimes, we just have to accept that the future is unknown and we have to trust that our path will lead us to some happiness.

Before she left, we kissed, and she said, "Tell Amanda that I said "hi" and I hope she likes the clothes. Tell her that I hope I got the 2 tops she was talking about." I shook my head, "What do you mean, talked about?" She laughed, "Honey, she emails me all the time, she really is a wonderful girl. And, boy does she love her 'Daddy.'" She started to cry and I kissed her and said, "No crying, I'll call you from down there, OK?"

And, she left. I haven't seen her since that day, but, we have talked. What will happen to us in the end, only the future knows.

But, there is one more point to tell in this story and I'll get to that next.

 

[kevinsslave]

I left early on that Thursday, had to be in Columbia by 6:00 p.m. It's about an 8 hour drive and it was a gorgeous, bright, sunny day. It felt like a good sign, all that brilliant sunshine.

Of course, I'm a hard head about a lot of things, including a gps. I won't use one and stubbornly insist on Mapquest type directions. So, of course, I got lost in Columbia trying to find the theater for the recital. I made it at 6:00, exactly, and rushed in, seeing that Cindy (Amanda's mother), her husband and son were sitting up front, having saved a seat for me.

Cindy gave me a quick hug and said, "Cutting it a little close, weren't you?" I chuckled, "There was construction and....anyway, I'm here. John," I said to her husband, "Good to see you again" and shook his hand. "Hi J.P.," I said to their son.

"No significant other?" Cindy said. "No, not this time, but, I have met..." She cut me off, "Let me guess, she's young and blond and gorgeous, another former dancer?" I laughed aloud, "You think you know me so well, but, yes I would say she's young and blond and pretty (I purposely neglected to tell her that she was right about the dancer part). Besides which, you were young when we dated, nothing wrong with it then." She shook her head and said, "Same old you [of course, here she used my real name]." I shook my head and said, "Immediate personal attacks, same old Cin'," I said.

John, God love him, said, "Hey, you two can bicker later. It's going to start any minute." With that he laughed and hugged his son (who was playing a Nintendo DS). "JP," said Cindy, "What do you tell Amanda's Daddy for the Nintendo?" He smiled and said, "Thank you, I love it." I smiled, "You're welcome, Buddy. I'm glad you like it."

Cindy shook her head, "You know, it's one thing to spoil our daughter, but do you have to spoil my son, too?" I laughed, "Hey, it wouldn't have been right to send Amanda a DS and not send one to her brother." She sighed, "They could have shared hers." I responded, "Except that hers was pink, I didn't think a 5 year old boy would want to play with a pink game. Never too young to worry about gender identification." She shook her head and said, "Oh, video games, I could just kill you, it's all either of them want to do now." l laughed, "They're educational," I said and before she could respond, "Hey, they develop hand-eye coordination and require the kids to use logic and deductive reasoning..." She sighed, "Really, Super Mario teaches them all that, hmmm?" I said, "For chrissakes, if it was up to you they'd be reading Faulkner every night and there'd be no cable TV." John, again, God love him, cleared his throat and laughed. So did we.

And, then, the girls came out and my baby looked into the audience and smiled wide when she saw me. She waved and mouthed, "Hi Daddy." I felt like crying, but, had to keep the camcorder steady. John whispered, "nice camera, is it new?" I shook my head, "couldn't miss this." The dance recital was beautiful, remarkable, my little girl had grown since I last saw her and I really was so proud, so happy.

When it was over, she came running out and jumped into my arms. I picked her up and hugged her and kissed her. I'd forgotten how much joy the little things in life can give you. We all went to dinner and she and I talked all through dinner, she telling me every tidbit of what was happening at school, with her friends, how she needed help on a Wii game, you name it. It was wonderful. I was staying through Sunday, but, she asked if she could drive with me back to her house and if she could show me her new comforter and decorations in her room. Before I could say anything, John said, "Of course you can show him, sweetheart, come on follow us."

She showed me her room and went to take a shower. John poured me a drink and said, "Tuck her in, when she's done, we're going to get JP to bed." She held my hand, and breathlessly talked about all the things we were going to do that weekend, starting with tomorrow. She was staying home from school and we were starting at the Riverbanks Zoo in the morning. Because her brother wanted to go to, Cindy had taken off work and I was taking the 4 of us. Then to the mall, then dinner....well, you get the picture.

I kissed her goodnight and said, "I love you, pumpkin." She hugged me and said, "I love you too, Daddy. Did you like the recital" I shook my head "yes" and started to cry and went out and finished my drink. John poured me another and I said, "No, really, I'm sure you guys are tired and..." He cut me off, "Come on, it's early, relax, come on, we'll sit outside, it's a beautiful night."

So, John, Cin and I sat outside at the patio table and made small talk. "She's gotten so big," I said, "Listen, I really want to thank you two, you've raised her to be so sweet, so smart, so..." I got choked up. John patted me on the shoulder, "She's a pleasure, believe me." Cin cut in and said to me, "Although, she's starting to get your temper and your sarcasm." I laughed and said, "She got my good qualities too, my looks, my intelligence....gotta take the good with the bad, Cin."

I was fiddling with the camcorder and handed it to John. "John, you know how to work these right?" He looked at it and said, "Yeah, but, this is brand new, I'm not sure of all the features..." I said, "Well, listen, I'd like you guys to have it, I..." John cut me off, "Oh come on, that's a $700 camera, we're not...." Cindy cut him off, "Forget it, we can't take your..." I quieted them both down, "Look, please, it's not as altruistic a move as you think. I'd like you to do me a favor. I know you send pics of all the big things in Amanda's life and I love them, but, sometimes, I'd like to see the little things that I don't get to see. Silly stuff, her going to school, her eating breakfast, playing in the yard, playing soccer, whatever, I.....really miss not getting to see those things. Maybe you can upload those or send me a disc or whatever, it would mean a lot to me...."

Cindy spoke, "But, we can do that if you want with our camera. You don't have to give us a camera, I know you love her and miss her, we'd love to do that." She tried handing the camera back, "Well, look, also, there's the little detail that one of my client's gave me that and I'm thinking it might be stolen." She glared at me, "You son of a..." I laughed, "Just kidding, I got it from Best Buy. Please, really, I want you guys to have it, it's just a little way to show my appreciation for being such good parents to my baby." Cindy smiled and said, "That's sweet, but, you have to stop buying all this stuff, Nintendos, Wii, cameras, what are you going to do when she starts driving, buy her a Porsche?" I laughed, "Well, now that you mention it.