is my fiancee into black guys?

[George]

You are lucky. You have clarity. You have a chance to make a decision without going through the effort of learning the truth. They have even proposed their preferred arrangement. They have spoon fed you. Your choice is to accept or counter propose. Decide what you want and act accordingly.

 

[George]

You are lucky. You have clarity. You have a chance to make a decision without going through the effort of learning the truth. They have even proposed their preferred arrangement. They have spoon fed you. Your choice is to accept or counter propose. She want you as a father, not him. As a mother things will go through a reset.

 

[curiouschris]

Cheers guys, by way posting photos as its what i'm getting and shows what dealing with, otherwise just words.
Photo below me and Kell on hols, on reflection maybe a mistake hols as she got lots of local black guy attention when we were in the islands, maybe made her curious?,from what know now think she started fucking Mark within couple months us get back.

Yes i am really surprised, no did not think of splitting up, she is my perfect 10 and yes as said in a post above believe she may get out system and focus on marriage and parental reset in future,know she is hi sex drive,know she is very attractive, know our sex life is less than perfect for her, know now-(prior believed) she had a thing about black guys so all adds up to happening i guess- think will get together with her and Mark and discuss what could work for all. Thanks.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Thanks for posting the additional photos Mark sent you, and the photo of you and Ms. Kelly on your holiday. They’re good. All of them.

Several of the photos you’ve indicate Ms. Kelly has strong arms, and those you posted today show she has strong, well-developed abs. That’s good, of course. Clearly, Mark is doing good work as her gym trainer as well as in other ways.

When my fiancé got back from work, I challenged her about the photos Mark had sent to me and she came clean. Mark had already warned her, by phoning her at work during the day, that I knew about them. She said she has been fucking him for a few months now, and she’s sorry but just loves the sex. And, she loves me and wants to go ahead with our wedding. And, she is sorry but, to be honest, she wants to carry on fucking Mark.

Excellent. That’s the clearest, most straightforward and honest statement from your gorgeous fiancé you could have hoped for. She answered another of your questions, which was, you wanted to know where you stand with her. Now you know.

I was pretty much in shock, and while dealing with my lovely Kelly's confessions, Mark sent me more photos he had taken — this time clearly showing him fucking her.

So, he has clearly refuted your assertion (to him) that he was bull-shitting you about that. You should be grateful. Many people pay a lot of money to private detectives to find out what your fiancé and her lover have told you straight-out, without charging you even one schilling (assuming you’re writing from the U.K.).

Also, Mark he sent me a long e-mail saying:

- What did i expect? Kelly is gorgeous and highly sexed, mine and her sex life is inadequate for her, she has a thing about black guys, and if he wasn't fucking her another black guy would be; and

- I should be glad it’s out in open, he had been pushing for Kelly to tell me for ages, we are all grown-ups and need to deal with reality, and he was fed up with hiding, he wants it out in the open he is fucking my fiancé; and

- I should be glad to be with her, she will make an amazing wife, she loves me, and I need to deal with the fact that I will be married to a woman who fucks around; and

- He stated he knew we were planning to start a family as soon as we’re married, Kelly stopped using the pill a few weeks ago, our dream is to conceive on our honeymoon, and he emphasized that although he loves barebacking, they always use a condom. [Like, he was doing me a favour? Arrogant shit!!]

- He closed by stating it’s good it is all out in open, and if I wanted I could join in with them, with photos of us as a threesome,he didn’t want conflict.

Mark’s points, all of them, are good ones. And, if he uses a condom when your fiancé fucks him, he really IS doing both of you a big favor.

I was stunned by Mark’s e-mail. When I tried to talk with Kelly about its’ content, she just said "why dont the 3 of us get together to talk about it?”

It’s positive that you attempted to talk with your hot fiancé about her lover’s e-mail to you, but her request that the 3 of you get together and talk about it is better still. It’s an offer you can’t refuse (as a gangster might put it).

I have a lot of thinking to do, any experienced views welcome.

Your strongly-sexual fiancé’s straightforward out-in-the-open statements, and Mark’s e-mail to you, are consistent with what some of the others in this thread and I have been trying to tell you. And, you seem to have begun thinking along the right lines. Keep it up.

Cheers guys. By the way, I’m posting the photos I’ve been getting because they show what I’m dealing with, otherwise it would just be words. The photo below shows me and Kelly on our holiday. On reflection, maybe our holiday was a mistake, as she got lots of local black guy attention when we were in the islands. Perhaps it made her curious? From what I know, she began fucking Mark within couple of months after we got back.

The photos are helpful, especially the one showing you standing beside your sexy fiancé. I notice she’s taller than you; that’s good and appropriate. And, your holiday with her in “the islands” was not a mistake, because it led to you finding out what Ms. Kelly is all about, and (seemingly) led to her finding increased sexual fulfillment, while realizing she loves you and still wants you to become her husband.

Also, please be aware that trying to isolate your fiancé (or wife or SO) from others is a form of domestic abuse. You might consider talking with her about another holiday in “the islands” sometime in the future, perhaps for your honeymoon.

I am really surprised [by all this], but have not thought about splitting up. She is my perfect 10.

Good, you’re beginning to show signs of being capable of adopting a reasonable and appropriate view of your fiancé and her personal and sexual needs.

As I said in a post above, I believe she may get this out of her system then focus on marriage and her parental responsibilities in the future.

That’s optimistic. I suggest reorienting your thinking toward taking responsibility yourself for raising her and your child (or children), and doing a substantially increased share of the housework, so your sexy wife-to-be will have sufficient time and energy to date, seduce, and fuck the black lovers she finds irresistible.

I know she has a high sex drive, I know she is very attractive, I know our sex life is less than perfect for her, I know now (i.e., I’ve verified) that she has a thing about black guys, so it all adds up to what’s happening.

You seem to be getting it now.

I think I will get together with my fiancé and her lover Mark and discuss what could work for all of us.

Good, you seem to be on the right track. I hope you’ll resist the urge to get angry and start an argument over this with Mark, or with your fiancé, or both. And, I suggest keeping in mind that your gorgeous fiancé is holding the high cards. If you’re incapable of acquiescing in what she wants, she’ll be able to find another man who is in more-or-less in short order.

 

[curiouschris]

Thankyou for views.

Kelly and i have agreed to have some 1:1 time for a few days, rebuild bruised emotions etc, then yes maybe meet up with Mark end of week to discuss, she sees Mark a few times during week at gym but has stated she will not go back to his apartment with him until the 3 of us meet up, she tells me their pattern has been him fucking her at his apartment after gym so he has been sleeping with her 2 or 3 times a week over last few months.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Thank you for your views.

Hey, you're welcome....

Kelly and I have agreed to have some 1:1 time together for a few days, to rebuild [our, mostly my] bruised emotions, etc., then maybe meet up with Mark at the end of the week to discuss all this.

Sounds reasonable...

She sees [her lover] Mark a few times during the week at the gym, but has stated she will not go back to his apartment with him until the 3 of us meet up.

Sounds like admirable restraint on Ms. Kelly's part....

She tells me their pattern has been him fucking her at his apartment after her gym [workouts with him,] so he has been sleeping with her 2 or 3 times a week over last few months.

If your fiancé Ms. Kelly has been fucking her black lover Mark (and, it sounds like, sleeping overnight with him) 2 or 3 times a week, how often has she been fucking you? That seems like an important aspect of your relationship with her, but I don't think you've said anything about it.

Anyway... while decompressing (so to speak) this week, you might spend some time reading around in the section (of a broader web site) on white married women who take black lovers. The index page is here:

Black on White and Interracial Sex and Relationships:
http colon doubleslash moderndirections dot com slash bwsex dot htm

(substitute the punctuation as indicated, of course, with no spaces).

I think you'll find your situation is not unique — i.e., you're not alone — and that white married women who take black lovers often find many advantages in affairs like your hot and gorgeous fiancé is having with Mark, and their white husbands often do, as well.

You might suggest the above link to Ms. Kelly, as well. She appears to be a busy woman, so she may not be familiar with it, in which case she too may find it interesting and informative.

 

[Jaxunman]

curiouschris, you are on a slutwives posting board. You will not get very much balanced advice here. Mostly what you will get are others encouraging you to give in and become a doormat to your girlfriend and future wife. This is all going to depend on what you want. I have not read anywhere yet where you state that you want any of this. I think it would be truly helpful for you to state what your desires are. Then you can be better advised going forward.

Your future wife is a cheater. That much is fact. Further, she would still be humiliating you behind your back if not for Mark. Mark decided to tell you so he could feel superior when you challenged him. That tells me that Mark is in charge of all this, not your fiance. Kelly and Mark are both trying to incorporate Mark into your future marriage as an equal partner. Mark is in charge of their cheating affair, and he is the one you are negotiating with right now because Kelly is allowing it. Why do you think Kelly and Mark are insisting on the three of you sitting down to talk before any decisions are made going forward?

Any discussion of marriage should be between you and Kelly. Mark is a non factor and should have no opinion or input at all on decisions you and Kelly are making. It really is not complicated at all. Kelly should work out the future with you without any further interference from Mark, or there is no future. It really is that simple.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Curiouschris, you are on a slutwives posting board. You will not get very much balanced advice here.

I don't think Curiouschris can be accused of not knowing this is a slutwive's forum. (In one of his posts [above], he mentioned he has also sought comments in other forums.)

I have not read anywhere yet where you [Curiouschris] state that you want any of this. I think it would be truly helpful for you to state what your desires are.

Also, I don't think Curiouschris can be accused of not stating what he wants. In his post no. 25 (above), he said:

We did not think of splitting up. She is my perfect 10, and as I said in a post above, I believe she may get [this] out [of her] system, then focus on marriage and [on a] parental reset in the future.

This seems pretty clear.

Your future wife is a cheater. That much is fact. ….

Not so. Curiouschris and his gorgeous, highly-sexed fiancé are not married. When she accepted his marriage proposal (and engagement ring, presumably), it's unlikely she promised to be monogamous with him until they actually do get married. Also, she and her lover have told Curiouschris straight out about their affair, and have proposed discussing it with him. Ergo, she is not a "cheater."

Further, she would still be humiliating you (Curiouschris) behind your back, if not for Mark. ….

This is a misconception. Curiouschris's fiancé's motivation, almost certainly, has not been to "humiliate" him "behind his back.” Rather, she has been responding to her own strongly-felt sexual needs and desires.

.... It really is not complicated at all. [Your fiancé] Kelly should work out the future with you, without any further interference from Mark, or there is no future. It really is that simple.

Human relationships are rarely “not complicated” and “simple" (ask any H.R. director) — especially romantic relationships preceding marriage.

If Curiouschris viewed his situation vis-a-vis his hot, sexy, gorgeous fiancé — whose husband he hopes to become — as "simple," he would not have posted on this forum seeking comments and advice from others. Rather, he would have resolved it with her in a straightforward way.

He’s having problems because of the seemingly-inexplicable clash between his conventional views of what romance and marriage are supposed to be all about — views that do not adequately account for female sexuality — and the situation he finds himself in.

Curiouschris been off the radar for a while. Perhaps he's preoccupied with sorting all this out with his fiancé and her lover, while expanding his insights (I would hope) into white married women who take black lovers, and what they, and their white husbands, gain from such affairs, unconventional and seemingly “outrageous” though they may be.

 

[Jaxunman]

I don't think Curiouschris can be accused of not knowing this is a slutwive's forum. (In one of his posts [above], he mentioned he has also sought comments in other forums.)

Yet no disagreement from you, Custer, as to Curiouschris having no chance at any balanced advice from here.



Also, I don't think Curiouschris can be accused of not stating what he wants. In his post no. 25 (above), he said:



This seems pretty clear.

Yes, Curiouschris states he hopes she gets this out of her system so she can concentrate on the marriage. I see that as him being willing to forgive what has already gone on but wanting a traditional, normal marriage with his fiance.


Not so. Curiouschris and his gorgeous, highly-sexed fiancé are not married. When she accepted his marriage proposal (and engagement ring, presumably), it's unlikely she promised to be monogamous with him until they actually do get married. Also, she and her lover have told Curiouschris straight out about their affair, and have proposed discussing it with him. Ergo, she is not a "cheater."

Post #1 by Curiouschris, he found this and another cheating wife site by googling cheating wives. Later in same post, he mentions being concerned his fiance may be screwing around (slang term also meaning cheating). Fiance was never straighforward about affair. She only confirmed it after the guy she was cheating with left her with no other option except to confess. Yes, she is a cheater, but one who wants turn it into cuckoldry after she was caught.

This is a misconception. Curiouschris's fiancé's motivation, almost certainly, has not been to "humiliate" him "behind his back.” Rather, she has been responding to her own strongly-felt sexual needs and desires.

Motivation or not, Curiouschris did not seem to be exactly happy with finding out what had been going on behind his back.


Human relationships are rarely “not complicated” and “simple" (ask any H.R. director) — especially romantic relationships preceding marriage.

If Curiouschris viewed his situation vis-a-vis his hot, sexy, gorgeous fiancé — whose husband he hopes to become — as "simple," he would not have posted on this forum seeking comments and advice from others. Rather, he would have resolved it with her in a straightforward way.

He’s having problems because of the seemingly-inexplicable clash between his conventional views of what romance and marriage are supposed to be all about — views that do not adequately account for female sexuality — and the situation he finds himself in.

Curiouschris been off the radar for a while. Perhaps he's preoccupied with sorting all this out with his fiancé and her lover, while expanding his insights (I would hope) into white married women who take black lovers, and what they, and their white husbands, gain from such affairs, unconventional and seemingly “outrageous” though they may be.

Curiouschris came here asking for advice. It is obvious, Custer, that your advice and mine come from very different directions. Yet, that is ok. When one seeks advice on an open forum such as this one, it is only natural to get differing opinions and advice. I stand by my advice that this is all very simple. Curiouschris is too close to the situation to see how simple the solution is. Human emotions tend to make otherwise clear decisions seem more difficult. Mark is nothing but the guy the fiance is screwing, nothing more. Moving forward, it should be Chris and Kelly making the decisions about their marriage and sex life, if Kelly is too caught up in Mark to agree to that, then it is Kelly who is not ready for the marriage step.

 

[curiouschris]

Ok actually met up with Mark and Kelly for lunch today, summary was:

Mark- clearly v dominant A type guy, Kelly seems in awe of him, his agenda is simple,wants to keep fucking my fiancee and have it out in open, repeated Kelly has thing about black guys and BBC as he called it, if not him fucking her would be another BBC, repeated doing us a favor by using condoms (says hates them) and Kelly had offered go back on pill so he could bareback her???- Kelly went red when he said this, repeated v common situation and in past he has been "bull" a couple of times for other couples, repeated could be win win for all-he and Kelly get what want and turn on for me ie watch, photos, join in etc, repeated if i wanted to be with someone as hot as Kelly with her desires it was something i needed to accept, also repeated it was my support that would help Kelly feel fulfilled and happy.

Kelly- pretty quite,just said yes wanted to carry on with Mark and loved and wanted marry me.

Me- had thought about and read up on subject, appreciate quite a common situation, do want to be with Kelly- marriage,parents etc and stated i would live with it until we get married in July this year, hope Kelly worked out of her system by then, Mark laughed when i said this and Kelly went red again, Mark said he and Kelly had missed sex this week and he was going to fuck her this weekend,invited me to his apartment to watch him fuck her and join in if i want, Kelly agreed had missed him this week. I think will try out, many folks on internet discuss electric seeing their partners with other guys, dont know if for me will be angry, sad or excited- will see.

 

[manon]

Chris,

Based on what you have stated Kelly is not ready for marriage. The most successful marriages and those marriages which get into this life style place the marriage itself at the most important point with everything else falling secondary.

As Jax has pointed out, this should be between Kelly and you only! Not Mark! His "interests" are not in "your" best interests going forward.

The point of Kelly letting Mark play even a part is a huge RED Flag!

Please use your logic and think this thru. From the outside looking in it looks like a train wreck waiting to happen with a lot of emotional pain and drama coming your way.

Regards

 

[George]

Concur. Sucessful non-destructive cuckolding is built on a foundation of the couple putting their needs as a couple first. Cuckolding imposed is adultery. The axis must be you and Kelly. Mark is a bit player. It looks like if this works out as Mark wants you have a more polyamory relationship than a couple relationship. But with Mark having no responsibilities. A logical end point of Mark's proposal is you raising and being financially responsible for a black baby. Kelly and you need a series of serious talks.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Me- I thought about it and read up on the subject; I appreciate it's quite a common situation. I do want to be with Kelly— be married, be parents, etc.

Good, sounds positive...

I stated I would live with [my fiancé's and Mark's affair], until Ms. Kelly and I get married in July of this year.

Good decision...

I hope Kelly has this worked out of her system by then... Mark laughed when I said this, and Kelly went red again.

I suspect this view is optimistic. In effect, you've kicked the can down the road — but, at the moment, that may have been the best way to handle it. You gave yourself a thin layer of emotional cover (as indicated by Mark's laugh and Ms. Kelly "going red in the face" again). Between now and July, you will have time to become accustomed to your fiancé fucking a black lover. However, I suggest being prepared to revisit this negotiation prior to your wedding day.

Mark said he and Kelly had missed sex this week...

No doubt...

...and, he was going to fuck her this weekend.

I'm sure your hot and sexy fiancé is looking forward to that...

He invited me to his apartment to watch him fuck her, and join in if i want.

That was very generous of Mark...

Kelly agreed she had missed Mark this week.

Yes, of course... he's her lover, after all...

I think I will try this out. Many folks on the Internet say it's electric, seeing their partners with other guys.

In addition to being highly erotic, becoming a participant in your hot fiancé's sexual adventures with her lover has good potential for getting you beyond one of the principal disadvantages of her affair with Mark — the feeling of being excluded, of being left out. This is not a trivial consideration.

I don't know if I will find myself angry, sad or excited — will see.

Hey, go for it — it will be a new experience; one that, despite your feelings of trepidation, may turn out to be strongly positive. And, I suggest not attaching too much significance to all these comments by others that you and Ms. Kelly "are not ready for marriage." You have stated, unambiguously, that Ms. Kelly is "your perfect 10, your princess" and you want to marry her. And, Ms. Kelly has stated, unambiguously, that she wants to marry you. Your course of action, to date, has been reasonable (in my opinion), and shows promise of working out well for both of you.

 

[curiouschris]

So last night watched and photo my lovely fiancee being fucked twice by her black lover, took a ton of photos (some below).

Kelly and Mark were clearly into it, never seen her act as she did, she worships him in bed and yes he has got all the classic stud attributes- stamina,huge cock, talks to her like she is a slut while he is fucking her.

So for me it was erotic and a turn on at one level but not my scene, have told Kelly our relationship is over if carries on and after alot of emotional drama between us she has text Mark to day to say they are over. Maybe one day sharing my lovely then wife with someone will be an intimate turn on for us both, something to share together, but not what want now, have told her so and believe we can now focus on the future- the 2 of us.

Thanks for all advice, have learnt alot and can see as posts have said- this lifestyle must have bought in couple at center of it.

 

[slutlover888]

great pics!

 

[manon]

Chris,

Congrats, for reeling this in, it would seem at the moment....,

I would be concerned what actions will occur going forward? If you remember, she did not want you knowing about this affair from the start which is not someone to be trusted.

Words must be followed with actions...,

If you are a man of means would suggest either pre-nuptial to protect your financial interests or delaying the wedding for awhile longer too see if she truly will be faithful.

Remember, she was deceitful from the start so such prudent actions are needed to protect yourself as much as possible.

Regards

 

[2wheel]

From what you written, I believe she will again be fucking Mark very soon.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Curiouschris—

So, you've made your decision and your hot-and-sexy fiancé has accepted what you've dictated to her (seemingly). Interesting….

So, last night I watched and photographed my lovely fiancé being fucked twice by her black lover. I took a ton of photos (some are below).

Thanks for posting your good photos. The one second from left (in particular) shows that Mark is doing good work with your hot fiancé in the gym, as well as in his bedroom.

Kelly and Mark were clearly into it; I’ve never seen her act as she did. She worships him in bed. He has all the classic stud attributes- — stamina, a huge cock, and he talks to her like she is a slut while fucking her.

Nice. He knows what she needs, and he gives it to her…

For me, it was erotic and a turn-on….

Good. That’s the expected response, as your fiancé’s main man, while watching her fuck her lover in front of you…

….at one level, but it was not my scene.

Your underlying conviction of what your “manly response” was “supposed to be” submerged the erotic appeal of watching your fiancé be sexually-satisfied….

I have told Kelly our relationship is over if she carries on, and after a lot of emotional drama between us, she sent Mark a text message today saying they are over.

I find it slightly surprising that Ms. Kelly did not respond by telling you, on the spot: “OK baby, our engagement is over,” and returning your ring.

Perhaps her apparent-acquiescence to your demand was because she knows that in the future, you will have no more say in whether she takes lovers (black men, most likely) than you had in the past, when she decided to start fucking Mark.

Maybe one day, sharing my lovely wife with someone will be an intimate turn-on for both of us, something to share together, but it’s not what I want now. I have told her so, and I believe we can now focus on the future for the 2 of us.

No doubt. But, you might keep in mind the seemingly-absurd (but often-applicable) quote sometimes attributed to Yogi Berra, legendary American baseball philosopher: “Predictions are difficult, especially of the future.”

Thanks for all the advice….

Hey, you’re welcome….

I have learned a lot….

But, arguably, you have not yet learned enough….

….and, I can see that, as [some] posters have said, this lifestyle must have “buy-in” by [both halves of the] couple at the center of it.

That’s best, certainly.

Regarding 2wheel’s comment:

From what you’ve written, I believe [your fiancé] will again be fucking Mark very soon.

I agree, but with a proviso: in the future, you won’t be hearing about it.

To educate yourself further — if you’re interested, at this point — you might spend some time reading around further in the “Modern directions in human sexuality” site. The index page is here:

http colon doubleslash www dot moderndirections dot com slash index dot hum

(as before, substitute the indicated punctuation without spaces). This index page does not focus on white married women taking black lovers, but rather on the broader subject of married women taking lovers, and acceptance by their husbands of their need to do that.

You might also be aware that here in the U.S., marriage is becoming progressively less common. I would guess the same is true in other western nations. For the first time, less than 50% of the U.S. adult population is now married. One reason, I suspect, is that more and more women — who are fully capable of supporting themselves — are weighting the disadvantages of long-term monogamy more heavily than the advantages.

Having found your “perfect 10, your princess” (who is a strongly-sexual woman), presumably you don’t want to find yourself divorced, in the not-too-distant future, because of conflicts caused by your inability to accept your future wife’s need for more, and higher levels, of sexual satisfaction than you can provide her with.

Good luck. I think you’re going to need it.

—Custer

 

[Jaxunman]

My hat is off to you, curiouschris! I applaud you standing up for yourself. You will learn that very little of all this cuckold lifestyle stuff is taking place in real life that does not involve outright deceit and cheating. Even less of it is sustainable. Most of the tales and stories you read are only fantasy.

I too, wish you the best of luck!

 

[Custer Laststand]

.... Most of the tales and stories you read are only fantasy.

You seem to have high confidence in your opinion. But see, for instance:

http colon doubleslash www dot confessionpost dot com slash 26331 slash i-love-making-married-women-cheat

(fill in the indicated punctuation, of course, with no spaces).