I have been lurking, here is my story:
A long time ago I met my wife in High School; we were both virgins. She was my second GF and fell in love real hard.
This is the classic story of a somewhat serious guy, but with cool elements that did great in school. My GF was from a very dysfunctional family and I had a strong urge to rescue her. She was always very sensual and a flirt, but I felt I could change her. And to a certain extent I was successful.
Because of my strict Catholic background I did not attempt to take away her virginity. We got naked all the time, did oral sex, grinding, etc, But I was naive and I did not want to put my penis inside her. I guess I wanted to respect her and I got the sensation she was grateful for my behavior.
After a long courtship we finally got married and I looked forward to finally have intercourse. I was 23 and did not feel awkward about being a virgin because I was always making out with my GF.
The first few months of my marriage were strange. It took me three weeks to finally penetrate my wife. She could not relax and we mostly did oral sex. We had a talk about sex and it was decided I would work on my oral sex technique until I could slowly work my way inside her vagina. She stated that as a virgin it was not unusual to struggle with penetration andy I believed her.
THREE YEARS AGO
Our sex life was non-existent and I became suspicious of my wife. I installed a key logger and secretly gained access to my wife's email and discovered she was having an affair. I discovered four years of "back and forth emails" between my wife and the lover. I found an email where "they remembered the old days" and it turns out the lover was a friend from childhood. To my chagrin I discovered that they had a long history of "hook ups" off and on during my entire marriage.
I was devastated and confronted my wife when she arrived from work but after a short lived argument we ended up in bed and she fucked me as hard as ever. She asked for a second chance and gave me the best sex I ever had for three straight days. I wanted to be upset and divorce her, but I fell under her sexual spell and all I wanted was her. I wanted to fuck my wife 24/7. I felt ashamed of my lust and desire for her. I wanted to hate her, but I couldn't. I decided to stay married.
I will say that five years prior to the discovery of the affair we had a fantasy in the bedroom where she was a slut-nymph that fucked men all day while I was at work. In that fantasy I enjoyed playing the role of the cuckold and had no clue my wife had been cuckolding me during our entire marriage. In retrospect, she was really good at humiliating me in bed because she was actually doing that in real life. For me it was fantasy whereas for her it was the real deal.
I write in the forum because I have accepted the fact that my wife will continue to see her lover with my consent. I was ambivalent, but I cannot deny I feel very horny when I imagine my wife fucking her BF. I cannot deny this feeling anymore.
What bothers me is the fact that she secretly cucked me for years and I did not have a clue. My wife admitted she enjoyed humiliating me in secrecy. As much as I hate her betrayal I get horny when I think about her secret activities. She says the power she felt when she cucked me was very addictive and she does not want to stop.
I have spent the last THREE YEARS analyzing every aspect of my marriage and I have a lot of questions. I am still dealing with the fact that she fucked her lover the day of our wedding. And the lover was a guest in our wedding party! And they both probably laughed at. And then I could not consummate the marriage thinking she was a virgin. I ended up giving her oral sex after she had fucked her BF and she did not feel guilty at all.
And she denied me her pussy for three more weeks pretending to be a virgin while she resumed the hook ups with her lover on a regular basis. This has got to be the worst honey moon in history! Ouch, that still hurts.
A long time ago I met my wife in High School; we were both virgins. She was my second GF and fell in love real hard.
This is the classic story of a somewhat serious guy, but with cool elements that did great in school. My GF was from a very dysfunctional family and I had a strong urge to rescue her. She was always very sensual and a flirt, but I felt I could change her. And to a certain extent I was successful.
Because of my strict Catholic background I did not attempt to take away her virginity. We got naked all the time, did oral sex, grinding, etc, But I was naive and I did not want to put my penis inside her. I guess I wanted to respect her and I got the sensation she was grateful for my behavior.
After a long courtship we finally got married and I looked forward to finally have intercourse. I was 23 and did not feel awkward about being a virgin because I was always making out with my GF.
The first few months of my marriage were strange. It took me three weeks to finally penetrate my wife. She could not relax and we mostly did oral sex. We had a talk about sex and it was decided I would work on my oral sex technique until I could slowly work my way inside her vagina. She stated that as a virgin it was not unusual to struggle with penetration andy I believed her.
THREE YEARS AGO
Our sex life was non-existent and I became suspicious of my wife. I installed a key logger and secretly gained access to my wife's email and discovered she was having an affair. I discovered four years of "back and forth emails" between my wife and the lover. I found an email where "they remembered the old days" and it turns out the lover was a friend from childhood. To my chagrin I discovered that they had a long history of "hook ups" off and on during my entire marriage.
I was devastated and confronted my wife when she arrived from work but after a short lived argument we ended up in bed and she fucked me as hard as ever. She asked for a second chance and gave me the best sex I ever had for three straight days. I wanted to be upset and divorce her, but I fell under her sexual spell and all I wanted was her. I wanted to fuck my wife 24/7. I felt ashamed of my lust and desire for her. I wanted to hate her, but I couldn't. I decided to stay married.
I will say that five years prior to the discovery of the affair we had a fantasy in the bedroom where she was a slut-nymph that fucked men all day while I was at work. In that fantasy I enjoyed playing the role of the cuckold and had no clue my wife had been cuckolding me during our entire marriage. In retrospect, she was really good at humiliating me in bed because she was actually doing that in real life. For me it was fantasy whereas for her it was the real deal.
I write in the forum because I have accepted the fact that my wife will continue to see her lover with my consent. I was ambivalent, but I cannot deny I feel very horny when I imagine my wife fucking her BF. I cannot deny this feeling anymore.
What bothers me is the fact that she secretly cucked me for years and I did not have a clue. My wife admitted she enjoyed humiliating me in secrecy. As much as I hate her betrayal I get horny when I think about her secret activities. She says the power she felt when she cucked me was very addictive and she does not want to stop.
I have spent the last THREE YEARS analyzing every aspect of my marriage and I have a lot of questions. I am still dealing with the fact that she fucked her lover the day of our wedding. And the lover was a guest in our wedding party! And they both probably laughed at. And then I could not consummate the marriage thinking she was a virgin. I ended up giving her oral sex after she had fucked her BF and she did not feel guilty at all.
And she denied me her pussy for three more weeks pretending to be a virgin while she resumed the hook ups with her lover on a regular basis. This has got to be the worst honey moon in history! Ouch, that still hurts.
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