how can I find out?

[cheggers]

Looking for advice.

A few weeks ago my wife started getting phone calls & texts in the late evenings from a guy she works with. At one point, she got a call five nights in a row.
She's always tired and cranky in the evenings. Too tired to do much more than go to bed early. But when this guy calls, she perks up and will chit chat with him.
How can I find out if there's something going on between them without asking her directly? By the way, sometimes he calls when she's in the shower, etc. and she told me to answer when that happens, so I know it's the same guy who calls.

 

[Tanboat05]

She is going to fuck him. You will see.

 

[vladdy]

Maybe it isn't the "nicest" thing to do but the easiest way should be to eavesdrop on her conversation. If your wifes in your house than I suppose there would be trust issues if you did eavesdrop on her, however if you want to find out you can gather enough information on what they are talking about to figure a path to proceed with the detective work. Maybe you could snoop through some e-mails, or when she is away from her phone check her text activity usually there will be some naughty texts maybe with pictures.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Looking for advice. A few weeks ago my wife started getting phone calls & texts in the late evenings from a guy she works with. At one point, she got a call five nights in a row.

That's good. It sounds like your wife will soon increase the erotic satisfaction and psychological intensity of her life by taking a lover, if she hasn't already...

She's always tired and cranky in the evenings. Too tired to do much more than go to bed early.

Obviously, she needs it...

But when this guy calls, she perks up and chit chats with him.

That's a positive sign...

How can I find out if there's something going on between them without asking her directly?

You don't need to find out because you already know. Your wife's behavior indicates there is something "going on" between her and her telephone admirer.

Sometimes he calls when my wife is in the shower (or otherwise unavailable). She told me to answer when that happens — so I know it's the same guy calling.

One of your responsibilities as a married man is to take your wife's phone calls when she's unavailable, so you're doing the right thing. Appropriate protocol is to do so politely and respectfully: "My wife is unavailable at the moment. May I tell her who's calling and give her a message? She'll call you back shortly." Or, if she's available but you happen to answer the phone: "Yes, certainly, she's right here. May I tell her who's calling?" (or words along those lines).

It's positive that your wife ask you to answer her phone for her when she's unavailable in the evenings. That means she's comfortable with letting you know she's talking with another man. If she were doing it secretly that would not be a plus for your marriage.

A way to begin finding out more about what's going on, while indicating to your wife you respect her right to communicate with whomever she wishes, would be to suggest taking responsibility for answering all phone calls when the two of you are together at home in the evenings. Presumably your wife's admirer calls her cell phone, so you could suggest she could leave it out where you can answer it conveniently.

When your wife sees you taking her calls politely and respectfully (if you do), the probability will be increased of being able to talk with her in a non-judgmental way (that's important) about who her phone admirer is and what's "going on" between them.

 

[duke9555]

Looking for advice.

A few weeks ago my wife started getting phone calls & texts in the late evenings from a guy she works with. At one point, she got a call five nights in a row.
She's always tired and cranky in the evenings. Too tired to do much more than go to bed early. But when this guy calls, she perks up and will chit chat with him.
How can I find out if there's something going on between them without asking her directly? By the way, sometimes he calls when she's in the shower, etc. and she told me to answer when that happens, so I know it's the same guy who calls.

==============


well the wisest thing you can do is
to ask a message board for advice then follow
said advice ............dumkopf

 

[cheggers]

considerable hunk of money, or you are worth a considerable hunk of money and wish to avoid her taking half in a divorce. [/FONT]

Thank you, MacNfries.

I'm not worth much money at all. She controls our finances. She's smarter than I am. A few years ago she said she'd be happier if I quit working and became a full-time househusband, so she could concentrate on her career. I resisted, and now juggle both my own job and a lot (but not all) of the housework.

And I apologize for goofing up with my multiple 'new' topic posts.

 

[cheggers]

would be to suggest taking responsibility for answering all phone calls when the two of you are together at home in the evenings. Presumably your wife's admirer calls her cell phone, so you could suggest she could leave it out where you can answer it conveniently.

When your wife sees you taking her calls politely and respectfully (if you do), the probability will be increased of being able to talk with her in a non-judgmental way (that's important) about who her phone admirer is and what's "going on" between them.

Actually, she does leave her cell phone out where I can answer it conveniently, on a kitchen counter. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen in the evenings.

I like your advice about bringing it up in a "non-judgemental" way. I'll try at the next opportunity.

 

[cheggers]

If, in fact, she is seeing other guys, you most definitely are a true cuckold, which is not an enjoyable state to be in a relationship. She has all the fun and gives or tells you nothing. Your imagination is your own worst enemy here.

So a few months ago....when we went out for a rare "date night" and I drove us around, and every place I suggested she said, "no." Then she finally got a little agitated and said there was something going on at work, and asked me to drive her there, and got bitchy when I didn't get her there fast enough. About an hour, hour and a half later she called for me to pick her up. What kind of stuff could be going on at work on a Saturday evening at a university....

And no, I'm not making this up.

 

[will2112001]

Ok You have got to start checking the dirty cloths pile. Namely Her panties. Ever notice anything dried and hard? When she gets home, does she head right for the shower? If the answer to one or both of these is yes. Well?

 

[cheggers]

Ok You have got to start checking the dirty cloths pile. Namely Her panties. Ever notice anything dried and hard? When she gets home, does she head right for the shower? If the answer to one or both of these is yes. Well?

I can answer the second one first. Always. In the door and straight upstairs. She teaches night classes. Ihave a hard timekeeping up with her schedule. And frequently she stcks her fingrs down "there" and sniffs. Discretely.
As fir the first question, I'll have to get back to you on that..

 

[will2112001]

First sign of a cheater I look for is in the front door. Before anything else into bathroom, into the shower. The fact that she at a night class makes me raise an eyebrow even more. Start checking those dirty cloths. Now if Your telling Me the second thing she does is start a load of laundry. Well do I have to tell You what I'm thinking?

 

[Custer Laststand]

What kind of stuff could be going on at work on a Saturday evening at a university....

If your wife is a graduate student, has a postdoctoral fellowship, or is a research associate or faculty member, work time is anytime. Those folks do a lot of their work after hours and on weekends and holidays.

Oops. I missed your earlier comment:

[My wife] teaches night classes. I have a hard time keeping up with her schedule. And frequently she stcks her fingers "down there" and sniffs, discretely.

Obviously that puts her in the "faculty category," so having an irregular schedule that involves working nights and weekends is part of her job. If she checks frequently to see whether she can smell her own pussy juices (and her lover's cum) on her fingers, though, that suggests she doesn't realize most men have a substantially worse sense of smell than most women — so she doesn't realize she's giving herself away unnecessarily, in effect, with her "discrete" sniff tests.

That would be my interpretation, anyway.

 

[cheggers]

Obviously that puts her in the "faculty category," so having an irregular schedule that involves working nights and weekends is part of her job.

True. Although her schedule is fairly regular, M-F, you could expect the odd obligation to pop up.

On the other hand.......what about the time she spent tutoring a neighbor when his wife and kids weren't home, and he doesn't even go to school where she teaches? She was gone for a couple hours and I didn't seem to notice until I was scrubbing the kitchen floor and started to wonder why she'd been gone so long.

And the time she almost got reprimanded by her department head because some students complained her relationship with a particular student was becoming a distraction in the classroom. I didn't know about it until she showed me the email she was sending him, telling him she and he had to cool it. That really surprised me, because she's always, always very focused on maintaining a proper professor/student situation.

And, much more generally, her sister cuckolds her husband fairly openly. He knows about it but he doesn't know that we know that she "dates."

 

[will2112001]

True. Although her schedule is fairly regular, M-F, you could expect the odd obligation to pop up.

On the other hand.......what about the time she spent tutoring a neighbor when his wife and kids weren't home, and he doesn't even go to school where she teaches? She was gone for a couple hours and I didn't seem to notice until I was scrubbing the kitchen floor and started to wonder why she'd been gone so long.

And the time she almost got reprimanded by her department head because some students complained her relationship with a particular student was becoming a distraction in the classroom. I didn't know about it until she showed me the email she was sending him, telling him she and he had to cool it. That really surprised me, because she's always, always very focused on maintaining a proper professor/student situation.

And, much more generally, her sister cuckolds her husband fairly openly. He knows about it but he doesn't know that we know that she "dates."

So Your kidda saying it runs in the family. She's got a role model. A student files a complaint.

 

[cheggers]

So Your kidda saying it runs in the family. She's got a role model.

And another relative's marriage ended in divorce over a threesome.

A student files a complaint.

I think it was a few students who complained that her interaction with one of the guys was stepping out of bounds and becoming a distraction to the rest of the class. Normally I would have expected her to be ashamed that she let it get to that point, but she seemed to roll with it like it wasn't a big deal.

 

[will2112001]

I would have to say when She looks at her own family. This is no big deal to her. She get a rep. and its no big deal. Have You ever gone thru her underware draw. And seen sexy underware she has never worn for You? Ever check Her phone? Does She delete messages quickly?

 

[cheggers]

I would have to say when She looks at her own family. This is no big deal to her. She get a rep. and its no big deal. Have You ever gone thru her underware draw. And seen sexy underware she has never worn for You? Ever check Her phone? Does She delete messages quickly?

Sexy underwear she hasn't worn for me? She's got a whole fuckin' box of sexy underwear she hasn't worn for me. She went through it one time. I kept saying, "I've never seen that before." And she'd say, "Yes you have. Haven't you? You must have." "Nope." One time one of her girlfriends was over and mentioned my wife's "lucky pink teddy" and my wife gave her a quick 'shut up!'

I haven't checked her phone. I don't want to pry, silly as it sounds.

 

[will2112001]

Your Wife Is getting outside action! But You don't want to pry????

Have You asked Your self. If you haven't seen any of these sexy underthings. Then who has?

 

[Saraha]

You would be best to let your wife do exactly as she wishes without checking up on her, because you will just get into an argument and she may throw dishes at you. You are already doing 80% of the housework, she did want you to be a house hubby.

You need to start thinking of what your unmet needs are, and think about ways to get those met. It looks like your wife has been fucking other guys for a long time, and she is not exactly trying to hide it from you completely. She handles the finances, and runs the ship. You are the "crew" and probably she likes it like that.

Her and her sister will be swopping notes on cuckolding both of you men, so it is really too late now to change the ways the two sisters have cum to enjoy.

You could spend quite a bit of time with your brother-in-law, to find out what he knows about your wife's sex life. He might drop a few clankers into conversation that his wife has told him.

You may need to become a little bit mysterious yourself, so she begins to wonder what you are getting up to.

If you were to make some changes in your life, such as getting fitter, taking more care in your appearance, dressing a bit better, going places and stretching the curfew times, to give a hint to your wife that something is going on in your life that she doesn't know about.

I am not saying you should do something naughty, just cause her to wonder at you having started to have an obviously different pattern in your life.

If you only have to get your cock stiff several times a year, then she can't complain if on those occasions you have an excuse such as, "I feel too tired", so she gets no sex at all from you.

Your wife has got used to taking you for granted, so you have to make sure your needs get some expression.

 

[Saraha]

What will you do if you find her sperm-stained panties in the laundry basket? I imagine you do most of the washing as part of you doing most of the housework.