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Worried
- Thread startercarina_halerose
- Start date
If your wife's lover gives her very enjoyable orgasms when she is ovulating, her brain will release romantic hormones into her bloodstream because it assumes that they are making a baby together (even if he wears a condom), and therefore will spend their lives together as a married couple.
This "orgasmic-ovulation-bonding chemistry" can cause a married woman to feel an incredibly deep attachment to her "extra husband" and to want to be with him as much as possible. She still loves her husband, but NEEDS her lover more than she realised.
Her lover will be uppermost in her mind, unless he begins to display social behaviour that disappoints her as she gets to know him better.
Quite a few lovers "blow it" by getting too possessive and therefore forcing a wife to "go back to her husband" because he is her "mainstay".
The lover should find ways to include the cuckold in all that happens as a win-win-win, so the wife does not feel any threats to her marriage. Over time, the cuckold will gradually fall into new habits according to his wife's desires, if the Bull does not pressure him before he is ready to make the transistion.
This "orgasmic-ovulation-bonding chemistry" can cause a married woman to feel an incredibly deep attachment to her "extra husband" and to want to be with him as much as possible. She still loves her husband, but NEEDS her lover more than she realised.
Her lover will be uppermost in her mind, unless he begins to display social behaviour that disappoints her as she gets to know him better.
Quite a few lovers "blow it" by getting too possessive and therefore forcing a wife to "go back to her husband" because he is her "mainstay".
The lover should find ways to include the cuckold in all that happens as a win-win-win, so the wife does not feel any threats to her marriage. Over time, the cuckold will gradually fall into new habits according to his wife's desires, if the Bull does not pressure him before he is ready to make the transistion.
Saraha said:
All well and fine but his wife's lover is a woman. However, I assume you are directing this to the Grinch, not the original poster.
In addition, I find what you wrote (and a lot of what's written in this forum) to be, somewhat, absurd. Women, usually, fuck for the same reason men do. They are attracted, physically and/or emotionally to the person they are fucking. A lot of things written in here are overstatements and an attempt to prove by some type of scientific or sociological fact why women take lovers (not you, Saraha, but others are always prattling on about Alpha Male this and Alpha Male that).
The simple fact of the matter is that if the man was attracted to a woman (other than his wife) he'd fuck her, not because the other woman appeared healthier or more capable of bearing a healthy child, but, because, his hormones are going wild and he finds her attractive. It doesn't mean he doesn't love his wife, it simply means he wants to fuck someone else.
Isn't the same true of women? And, let's face it, most people don't fuck around on their spouses because it goes against society's norms and what we've been taught. In the absence of any rules, well, you're going to find a lot of sex.
As to the question at hand, I'd be worried if my wife disappeared for 5 of 7 days and was involved with a woman. Fucking around is one thing, marriage is another. Disappearing for all those days would indicate she has found something or someone she likes better.
You call your wife your mistress, so don't be too upset. A mistress with a female lover will ALWAYS have need for a male slave. Someone to clean and cook and earn money for her and her lover. If, indeed, she is your mistress, who are you to question what she does, anyway? She makes the rules and can do whatever her heart and mind desire. You are there to serve her. Correct?
If she comes home after weeks of being with her lover, who are you to say anything. You have said, in another thread, you are her sub 24/7, so where is your gripe. Wash her clothes, clean the house, do her chores, kiss her feet, whatever she demands and requires, that is your job and place in life as a sub. You have no right to wonder or question what she is doing.
Sorry if I seem harsh, but, this is the lifestyle you have chosen to live. So live it.
carina_halerose said:
Not bitter at all. Actually pretty damned happy (happier than I've been in a long, long time). The answer is in your question. It is true that many in this lifestyle have had their wife leave them for someone else. It IS a danger. Yet, you had to know that going in to this lifestyle. Further, you call her your mistress and say you are a 24/7 sub. My point is if you are really a 24 hour sub, you have no right to even question what she is doing. Essentially, you are her slave and she is your mistress. What she says goes.
And, I answered your original question, if it was me, I'd be worried. But, again, you chose this lifestyle and now you have to live by your choices. I chose to live it for a while and, I, too, have to live with the choice. The difference here is that I left my wife and she's begging to come back. We are defined by the choices we make in life. If your wife leaves you, understand that you married a woman who was not faithful. You acquiesced in her decision to take lovers. You allowed her to have other relationships. You knew that there was a danger that she'd leave. All choices you made.
I wish you well and hope things do not turn out badly. But, remember the way you feel now and make changes to your relationship so that you don't have to worry about this in the future.
You asked in another thread whether you were "really" in a cuckold relationship if your wife was with other women, not men. Sorry, who cares what it's called. Worry about making your relationship as healthy as it could be (in this lifestyle) not whether it is properly classified as a "cuckold" relationship. Expend your thoughts and energy where they are needed.
carina_halerose said:
Yes, I know, which is why I said you are "essentially" a slave. Again, though, here you are worrying about what is your "proper" title (much like your question as to whether your relationship is "properly" called a cuckold relationship) when your wife has been gone for 5 of the last 7 days.
Again, I don't mean to sound harsh, but, people pose questions in here and, quite frankly, I'm tired of all the bullshit answers. If you're worried about losing her and this was not what you two agreed to as to your relationship, then its time to open the lines of communication with her. If you, actually, are turned on by her absence, then just enjoy it. There's nothing else to say.
