A Bonf to A Different Bull
I’m naked, squatting on a cushioned chair beside our bed. I am alone; masturbating in the dark at the laptop propped atop where she usually lays back with her legs spread. She taunts me, reminds me why I am just a jerk off. Speaks sneeringly about how the only sex I get is jerking off or licking her bottom or sucking her boy friend’s cock. Not tonight, I jerk off alone in a dark room aglow from a blast of colors off a computer screen. Been this way for ages now. Use to be that she was out with him. I’d sit here and wait and weep. I’d wonder where she was and I already knew what they were up to; no good. While I squatted and stroked. Didn’t have a lap top then, didn’t have a computer. No one knew what a PC was back then. I just weeped and worried and waited. When she returned from her date, I’d turn fearful. Not worried anymore, frightened. She was often alone and too often with a man, sometimes “him,” sometimes another or others. When she came home alone I was ****** to lick her. Suck scum from her. Doing such a disgusting thing back when men didn’t even kiss cunt! If he or others were there, I was dismissed or violated in homosexual ways. Sometimes I was beaten. Later I was beaten into submission. I grew to accept it then like it then enjoy it then love the illicit sexual behavior and the humbling situations.
Then it all came to an end. She seldom left me home alone, and we mingled among her friends who had never even met me. “Oh, the one jerking off at home!” Heard that a couple of times. Then just as I was starting to enjoy this new life style, she ended it just as abruptly. Been years now. I squat here naked within the splash of light from a screen and stroke alone. Night after night, weekends I do it all day. While she sits in her office before her own screen and plays video games. She bonded with video games.
I lost her and he lost her and they all lost her to video games.