Who Should be in Charge

[OneForSure]

I know that females, in general are superior to males.

There is a LOT of evidence, much of which is available on a number of sites.

For starters it is well known that girls develop more quickly than boys.

Males, many times, think with their cocks rather than their brains. This leads to women making superior decisions.

Men think that their cocks are something to be extremely proud of, while women realize that a good dildo gives more pleasure than a cock.

Families where the woman makes the final decisions work better!

I'd like to start a discussion on this.

 

[texasramman]

I actually heard that all babies are born with "dicks"..............and they knock them off the dumb ones at birth??

 

[Atlopencpl]

actually we all do start as girls -that is why men have nipples.

 

[marys_pet]

I think it very much depends on the orientations and dispositions of the two people involved. For my wife and I, a female led marriage works better, but I by no means believe that such is the case for all couples.

 

[OneForSure]

marys pet,
Thank you for your comment. I agree that it does depen on the orientations and dispositions of the two people involved. I think that in more cases than not, the female should be in charge.

The more rational decision making, and the fact that the female's ego is not wrapped up in the size of a cock has in part led me to this conclusion.

I think that women should have more and more freedom to lead families, and be willing to tell their husbands what to do. The fact that there are so many males in a consentual cuckold relationship demonstrates that women are getting more powerful.

Once cuckold relationships become the norm, society will be much improved!

 

[marys_pet]

I'm not so sure. There are still plenty of submissive women out there, and plenty of dominant men. Even many of our cuckoldresses prefer to take the submissive role vis a vis their bulls. And women, overall, are just as capable of making stupid decisions as men are.

 

[Susan's Slave]

I would very much like to live in a female led household. Unfortunately, my wife is also a submissive personality so we are often rudderless.

I agree with marys pet that there are all types of personalities amongst men and women. Variety is the spice of life and I am happy with the diversity. Just imagine what this forum would be like if we all had the same beliefs, nobody would respond to the posts because we would all agree on everything!

 

[clkx88]

Males, many times, think with their cocks rather than their brains. This leads to women making superior decisions.

Sorry, but anyone who truly believes THAT is thinking with their cock and not their brain. Women are beautiful, smart when they get time to think, and fun to be around. But if you think women are better decision-makers you are out of your mind. Go watch something that women commonly enjoy, such as a "chick flick", then come back and tell me if there is a woman to be seen making a smart decision. I guarantee there isn't.

My point here is that female-led relationship does not have to mean female-dominated relationship. I think there are a lot of people in a "female-led" relationship that wouldn't necessarily realize it because they don't actively participate in the kinkier aspects as such, but that do defer to the woman in the event of disagreement. It's good to have someone who can give support and that you can seek wisdom of, but it is important to still have a partner and not an owner. If you are going to let a woman make all your decisions for you then you as well just sissify 24/7.

 

[Saraha]

Old-fashioned cuckoldry 300 years ago was definitely a female-led marriage, and the whole village knew that the husband was being cucked. They took every opportunity to mock him in public, even to the point of making him wear the cuckold horns in a parade.

The essential point was that a cuckold in those days knew that no other woman for 100 miles round would consider having sex with him, or even marry him, because EVERY MAN, WOMAN (and I dare say most kids) knew he was (inadequate in bed). He still had to provide financial support to his wife and kids, so he might as well put up with the adultery because some love was better than celibacy from being an "ostracised divorced man" that everyone would smirk at.

You are not a true cuckold if your wife does not lead the marriage and notice that you obey her implicitly.

In wartime, a wife ran the home whilst her husband was away at frequent wars. She was self-sufficient without him - but took sex whenever it was available from other men. What she often discovered was that other men often were better in bed than her husband, and of course "she became addicted to these better lovers" and often got pregnant to them.

Religion tried to stop women having more than one sexual partner, so they would never discover that one man might be better in bed that another. War changed that, because it provided opportunities for horny housewives whose husbands were hundreds of miles away to experiment with different penises to find the hidden truth. And when they discovered the truth, they decided it wasn't fair to be stuck with an "under-performing penis". So they used their sexual power over men to get the sex they believed they deserved, and they knew their cuck husband would feel too humiliated to object. In fact, humiliation actually fuelled a desire for an under-performing husband to try and "make up for his indequacy" by becoming more supportive of his wife, accepting her right to get extra sex to keep her happy and contented and less likely to throw dishes at him.

If you do not agree with me, then you are using a modern version of what a 'cuckold' is.

I have talked to hundreds of older men, and they all seem to agree that when a wife is happy, the marriage is going well. They agree that the hand the rocks the cradle, also controls what happens in the marriage.

Historians have written many papers about the time women led marriages were the "norm" in early times, and since feminism was introduced in the 1960's, there is a powerful trend appearing as women are taking over more roles in society......on the way back to female-led marriages with extra-marital sex becoming fashionable again, and religion stepping back into the shadows.

Most cucking these days seem more to be an agreement for wife to be poly and hubby to be monogamous, so it is a watered down version of true cuckholdry where a husband faces constant daily humilation from neighbours and family and strangers who enjoying making cucky wish there was a crack in the ground he could hide in.

Old fashioned cuckolds did not have support groups like cuckold,com. They had no one to share their painful emotions with.

Large numbers of people now organise their own marriage vows to reflect what they feel they can promise to comply with.

 

[OneForSure]

I appreciate the discussion and different points of view.

I particularly appreciate Saraha's participation. She is perhaps the only woman to comment on all of this.

I agree that there are bad decisions made by women. However, I think that more often men make bad decisions. They are fueled by testosterone, and not thinking out rational decisions.

While not all marriages should be female-led, I believe that most of them should be. Boys should be brought up to recognize that females are most often better at decision making.

I do think that when there is a female who makes the final decisions in a marriage, there is less conflict, and a happier marriage. Males should be heard, and their feelings taken into account, but the woman should make the final decision.

In many of the cuckolding accounts on this website, the woman is talked into being a hotwife by her husband. He manupliates her. She is not the one leading. She is being led.

These are just my thoughts. I am glad there are other opinions as well!

 

[Razor]

Check out Elise Sutton's site. She has hundreds of articles about studies that show women are surpassing men when it comes to education and are making huge strides in the job market, for example I think one said that the majority of managers are female. I'm inclinded to buy into what she's saying, and think in the near future women will on avg make more money then men and at least lead the workplace. This surely would wash off a bit on people's home/private lives as well. Women WILL become more and more assertive and dominant. I for one think that's a great thing.

Almost all women are submissive when it comes to sex, they like the more submissive role. A woman like that can still be dominant of course, either by cuckolding or by the simple fact that although her man(be it a hubby/bf/or bull) is taking the dominant role in bed, he knows that his job is to pleasure her. She is still at the center, her needs are still paramount, even if she is blowing him or on all fours in front of him.

 

[OneForSure]

I agree with much of what the material on Elise Sutton's website. Some is a bit extreme.

Society has taught girls to let the males take charge, and with the roles in society changing, I believe that will, and should change also. This includes in the bedroom.

My wife now takes charge in the bedroom in part because of Elise's information. It is SO much better when she tells me how to give her pleasure.

As mothers take the more dominate role in disciplining their sons, the males will better learn to obey their wives.

 

[marys_pet]

Elise Sutton has a dog in this hunt, so articles on her site should be viewed more as propaganda than research. She picks and chooses data to support her arguments, rather than examining them with an unbiased eye.

The gender gap in college campuses is real (except in the quantitative sciences -- math, physics, chemistry and engineering -- where men still far outnumber women). In the short term I expect that will lead to a decline in marriage rates, as college educated women will find fewer college educated men to marry, and non-college educated men will find fewer non-college educated women to marry. I don't expect to see any significant increase in marriages between college educated women and non-college educated men.

In the longer term, I expect the college gender gap is about as wide as it's ever likely to get, and that over time it will correct itself to something much closer to 50/50 equity.

 

[Eno]

Most cucking these days seem more to be an agreement for wife to be poly and hubby to be monogamous, so it is a watered down version of true cuckholdry where a husband faces constant daily humilation from neighbours and family and strangers who enjoying making cucky wish there was a crack in the ground he could hide in.

Is it really necessary for true cuckoldry to go hand in hand with humiliation?
To me, the humiliation is an aspect determined by culture, and nothing else. If society were to change its views on marriage vows in that emotional fidelity would be required from both partners whereas sexual fidelity would be required from the man only, this would not only bring down divorce rates but cuckolding would rapidly lose its present unfavorable connotations; the very idea that a husband could feel humiliated by his wife's extra-marital sex would sound preposterous.

 

[marys_pet]

I should add that my wife is a regular reader of Elise Sutton's website. She gets many practical ideas for conducting our female led marriage from there. Elise's 'new world order' theories, however, she reads for entertainment value more than anything else. A female led marriage is one possible model for modern relationships, one that happens to work particularly well for us. It is not, however, the only possible model, and we both fully believe that male led D/s marriages are flourishing just as much in modern times as female led ones are, should that happen to suit the dispositions of the two people involved, as are polyamorous and other more 'equally open' forms of marriage.

As for her cucking me, it was very much on her initiative that she first informed me that she wished to take a girlfriend, and later on that she wished to expand her extramarital sexual activities to include other men. My choices in both cases were to either accept the situation, or not let the door hit me in the ass on my way out. She always lets me know when to expect her home, so that I don't worry, and prioritizes the quality of our family life above her dating activities, but beyond that any details she shares with me concerning her activities with her fuck buddies is purely at her discretion. She makes it very clear that her dating activities are only my business to the extent that she chooses to share them with me.

What she does not do, however, is enter into emotional relationships with other men. Her (male) fuck buddies get to use her mouth, her pussy and her asshole for their sexual gratification, but her heart belongs to me.

 

[Saraha]

There is a lot less wife bashing when males accept the rules a wife requires for the marriage to be successful. Some males benefit from feminisation because their testosterone is reduced to lower (and more sociably acceptable) levels of behavior.

 

[Custer Laststand]

OneForSure,

I agree there are bad decisions made by women. However, I think that more often men make bad decisions. They are fueled by testosterone, and not thinking out rational decisions.

There may be some truth to this. For an interesting discussion of this point, see

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/08/opinion/08kristof.html?_r=1

by Nicholas Kristof. (Kristof, a columnist who writes for the New York Times, has won two Pulitzer Prizes and was a manager editor for the Times. His column at the above link appeared on 8 Feb. '09.)

I do think that when there is a female who makes the final decisions in a marriage, there is less conflict and a happier marriage. Males should be heard, and their feelings taken into account, but the woman should make the final decision.

I tend to agree with this, although not in all cases. As you say, it depends on the individuals of the couple.

—Custer

 

[Custer Laststand]

Marys_pet,

Thanks for passing along your description of your wife's management practices.

I should add that my wife is a regular reader of Elise Sutton's website. She gets many practical ideas for conducting our female led marriage from there. ....

Great! Good for her.

As for her cucking me, it was very much on her initiative that she first informed me she wished to take a girlfriend [meaning, for sex? If so, hey, why not....], and later that she wished to expand her extramarital sexual activities to include other men. My choices in both cases were to either accept the situation, or not let the door hit me in the ass on my way out.

Excellent! Your wife has a clear idea of what she wants and needs, and of your proper role in her marriage.

She always lets me know when to expect her home so I don't worry, and prioritizes the quality of our family life above her dating activities....

It sounds like she is also quite responsible.

....but beyond that, any details she shares with me concerning her activities with her fuck buddies is purely at her discretion. She makes it very clear that her dating activities are only my business to the extent she chooses to share them with me.

Yes, of course.... that's entirely proper for a married woman.

What she does not do, however, is enter into emotional relationships with other men. Her (male) fuck buddies get to use her mouth, her pussy and her asshole for their sexual gratification, but her heart belongs to me.

Your wife is a wise woman.

—Custer

 

[Son of John]

Who's in charge?

If the question is "Who is in charge when it comes to other men fucking the wife?" my answer would be that they should BOTH be in charge. First they should discuss their sexual needs with each other, in honest terms. And, neither should be threatened by their partners' needs, but rather be open to ways in which they can help meet those needs.

Ideally, the husband and wife will find those men together, and when they do get together, the husband will either be right there in the room, or very close by, in order to protect his wife. Even if he is temporarily sharing his wife's pussy with another man, that does not relieve him or his marital responsibility toward her.

The happiest arrangements, in my experience, have been when my wife and I met with a guy who had been "vetted" first, instead of just some guy met in a bar. Usually he was a guy that I had made contact with first, and had learned to feel that he was "genuine" and would treat my wife with the respect she deserved.

Then when we got together, the three of us, I would be in the room the whole time, and participating, to some degree. I would talk with my wife and the other man, and they would talk with me. And as soon as he had finished fucking her, I would quickly take his place and fuck into his left-behind cum. There is no great thrill that I can imagine than fucking into another guy's cum, right in my own wife's pussy!

 

[Saraha]

Fucking into another man's cum is aka as stirring another man's porridge.