To raise a child...

[AngleBaby]

A post in another thread almost started a little argument. However, a few PMs later, it was agreed in general it is a good idea to discuss how we deal with children in the house while living such a life style.

I myself do not live the life style, so I cannot directly relate to any difficulties that come up. However, there is seemingly a trend to keep it a family secret, as if it were something that would damage a child just to know about what mommy and daddy does. But does this trend reflect reality or our own shame?

I support the disclosing of special relationships in the family and work from the philosophy that a child can understand anything that one is able to explain, without damaging them. This also includes sex. Uncomfortable as it may be to explain it, a child is better off knowing instead of figuring out him or herself. It is not to say they should hear the details or see the dynamics of such a relationship. But to know what is going on and why mommy is out so late will not turn a child amoral or destine the child to seek out such relationships.

Another member I talked with here said he would leave a bowl of condoms on the kitchen table when the kid turns 12, with a sign telling them they are too young for sex, but to please use a condom anyways.

How do you or plan to deal with cuckolding around your children?

 

[Susan's Slave]

Susan's love life is nobody's business but her own. Certainly not information she would share with her daughter. However, if questions ever did come up we would deal with them in an honest manner.

 

[sptbj2]

Likewise, any time our children ask questions we answer them honestly, but do not elaborate when unneccesary. They are naturally curious and one of our jobs is to teach them to make sound decisions, although as they mature, they will be ultimately responsible for those decisions.

We would never ****** them to the ideas on this forum or any of the other alternative lifestyles, but would certainly address any questions or concerns they might come up with on their own.

 

[lifelong cuck]

Children in a cuckold marriage

A post in another thread almost started a little argument. However, a few PMs later, it was agreed in general it is a good idea to discuss how we deal with children in the house while living such a life style.

I myself do not live the life style, so I cannot directly relate to any difficulties that come up. However, there is seemingly a trend to keep it a family secret, as if it were something that would damage a child just to know about what mommy and daddy does. But does this trend reflect reality or our own shame?

I support the disclosing of special relationships in the family and work from the philosophy that a child can understand anything that one is able to explain, without damaging them. This also includes sex. Uncomfortable as it may be to explain it, a child is better off knowing instead of figuring out him or herself. It is not to say they should hear the details or see the dynamics of such a relationship. But to know what is going on and why mommy is out so late will not turn a child amoral or destine the child to seek out such relationships.

Another member I talked with here said he would leave a bowl of condoms on the kitchen table when the kid turns 12, with a sign telling them they are too young for sex, but to please use a condom anyways.

How do you or plan to deal with cuckolding around your children?

We have never admitted to our daughter than I am a cuckold or that her mother was made pregnant by other men or any question over who her father is. She's now long left home and married herself, I feel it just opens problems for the children. My wife's emotions were affected by having an aunt who carried on an openly cuckold marriage and I was by knowing my mother cuckolded my father and my eldest brother was continually cuckolded by his wife.

 

[marys_pet]

The exact nature of the adult relationship their parents have is no business of children, plain and simple. If, once they reach adulthood, they ask questions we will answer them honestly, but we are certainly not about to volunteer any information about what their mother does on her evenings out.

 

[Troilusand]

Preamble: We DON'T have any kids, so I'm prepared to bear the flames of "You can't be sure of WHAT you would do until you REALLY have your own." Well, I'm old enough, opinionated enough, and stubborn enough to know if we had had kids, how we'd raise 'em.

I agree that honestly answering questions as they come up is the proper path--but those answers should be age appropriate. I wouldn't tell a 5 year old the same explanation of where Mommy spends the night every Thurs. as I would a 13 year old. But each would be told that Mommy is at a close friend's house. A 5 year old isn't going to ask if they sleep together, because they don't have a frame of reference for that subject. But a curious 13 would, and might ask that question.

If I had kids, they would NOT get the once in their life "birds and bees" sex talk; they would be getting an ongoing, age approproate, education starting around 5 and going up to puberty. I tell you this because I couldn't fathom how I could honestly answer lifestyle questions without the kid being well versed in the joys of sex. Once again, everything age appropriate: While the 13 year old might have been told about "waiersports" and other kinks during their education, I wouldn't be volunteering that Daddy likes it when Mommy's boyfriend pisses on him (no, I don't) after fucking Mommy. But if that kid was around thirty and curious about what goes on, well....

If I had a fear about the kid and any psychological effects from knowledge of Mom being a slut, it would mainly derive from the kid's peers somehow finding out. Society in general is cruel and judgemental to people in alternate lifestyles, but school kids can be right bastards!

So I guess to sum up what I'm saying is if you tell your kids all about why people have sex, explaining the lifestyle should come easier. They gotta crawl gefore they can walk.

T.

 

[leftbehind]

It's None Of Your Business

At 35 years old I asked my dad if him and mom ever experimented with their sexuality. He replied, "That's none of your business." Around that time I asked him if he had been wise with his and mom's money - facing retirement and all. He replied, "That's none of your business." When I asked why all the secrecy, he replied, "What goes on between a man and wife is no one's business. Period. How can we say that what we have as a man and wife is intimate, wholly ours, a life we built for each other if anyone else is to know?"
I agree. When my kids ask about sex, I instruct them as best I can. If they ask about Patty or I the answer is the same as dad's. "And keep that with you," I instruct them. "What you do with your spouse is intimate. No one shares it ever. If ever another gains intimate knowledge you have nothing left to own and nothing to share on an intimate level."

 

[jbrowning]

we lie come on you lie about santa the easter bunny tooth fairy ect... momma has erands to run at 1 am in the morning

 

[Susan's Slave]

Leftbehind you have a very wise father and I applaud you for following in his footsteps! Troilusand you are also quite correct in making sure the information is age appropriate.

Another thing to consider in telling your children (especially younger) is that they are lousy at keeping secrets. Your cuckolding is not a subject most people want coming up with grandma over Sunday dinner!

 

[Troilusand]

Hey JB, I feel vindicated--you didn't list the stork!

Mac, the hormones must FLY around your house with a 12 and 14 year old AND a hotwife to boot!! Lemme buy you a beer.

T.

 

[AngleBaby]

Susan: Very good point. They would talk, eventually. But they would talk about how mommy is cheating on daddy too, sans being informed about the truth.

 

[chris]

enjoy

enjoy your kinky lifestyles - let your children have a children's lifestyle. Some of you seem to have a pretty fucked up idea of 'age appropriate talks'.

I would be devistated if my kids found out there mum sleeps with other guys whilst I watch/ stay at home.

cris x

 

[SrBilong]

I think it's a terrible idea to disclose such a lifestyle to children. Even if asked I would think the best thing to do is to make something up to cover it up. Nothing good can come out of being honest with a child about stuff like this.

 

[amberdermins]

we have two boys, and i know at some point that it may come up. we will be as honest as we can with our children, but this will not be discussed unless they ask and are at an adult age. however, we do not want them to find out about it from rumors, or by accident either so it is a difficult thing to keep discrete but neccessary.
i agree with what people do is private and between them, and i'm not trying to be disrespectful; just curious. aren't those that are saying that it is nobodies business and it is just between them and their spouse the same one's on here discussing what their wives are doing sexually with other men? please don't get mad at me for asking, because i do cuckold hubby and we both love it.

 

[SrBilong]

and i'm not trying to be disrespectful; just curious. aren't those that are saying that it is nobodies business and it is just between them and their spouse the same one's on here discussing what their wives are doing sexually with other men?

There is a huge difference between being able to talk to people anonymously on the internet and having real people who know you knowing your business. I felt more comfortable telling everyone here about my experience with another mans wife a few weeks ago, than I would telling some people who I really know. That's the beauty of internet communities

 

[amberdermins]

There is a huge difference between being able to talk to people anonymously on the internet and having real people who know you knowing your business. I felt more comfortable telling everyone here about my experience with another mans wife a few weeks ago, than I would telling some people who I really know. That's the beauty of internet communities

ahhh, that makes sense. well i'm certainly glad you decided to share with us

 

[AngleBaby]

enjoy your kinky lifestyles - let your children have a children's lifestyle. Some of you seem to have a pretty fucked up idea of 'age appropriate talks'.

I would be devistated if my kids found out there mum sleeps with other guys whilst I watch/ stay at home.

cris x

You need to learn to separate wisdom from erotics.
When one shares wisdom with a child, it is with the hope the choices that child makes reflects the collected wisdom of his or her life and avoid mistakes, such as becoming a mother/father before completing an education.
When one shares erotics with a child, it is for gratification of either or both parties.
As for your last comment. A lot of homosexual parents in hetrosexual marriages or homosexual single parents say the same, yet homosexual couples that have kids are accepted by the kids to the same degree as any hetrosexual nuclear family. Thus, I think your worries reflect your own opinions of the fetish than reality.