tips needed

[croboy]

hi I'm new to this site and I have done a lot of reading for the past few days.

I'm 29 years old and my wife is 27 years old.

we have been together for 9 years and married for 4 years now.

before I met her I have had sex with other females but she was a virgin and when ever we start talking she tells me that she regrets for not sleeping with other guys before just to see how it is and to experience it.

now I'm an open guy and we do all kinds of things togheter and whenever I suggest to talk about her being with another guy she denies it and she doesn't want to do it but she says she wouldn't mind experiencing being with other guy just once. We have brought this issue with our friends about wives being virgin and haven't gone into detail but my wifes answer was that she could do it but not with me around as she wouldnt be comfortable with her self and not be able to do what she feels like doing. Now I wouldn't mind us doing it with another guy just for her to experience it andme being there like a threesome me and my wife having sex and another guy to be there for her to do what she feels comfortable with doing I'm not jealous and she knows that and that I'm open to anything.

When ever I suggest that she denies it and doesn't want to do it.

Latelly we started having fun with our friends couple where our wives give us bj's but no swapping as we are not into that but my wife finds her comfortable doing it in front of other people.

The reason I write this is because I need advice how to get my wife into doing it with me as I can see on her that she wouldn't mind it but then has second thoughts about it.

ANy help and advice is appreciated.

Thank You in advance

 

[Saraha]

Your wife told you she could do it with another guy IF YOU WERE NOT AROUND TO SEE HER. She needs privacy to enjoy herself the first few months with new guys.

You mentioned the "blowjobs, but no swopping for sex" occasions. Why don't you let your wife and the other couple have a threesome with you in another part of the city, so she can experiment and go "only as far as she is comfortable...but it could be all the way if it "feels right in the moment".

Just give her space and don't "push her into sex"..........give her permission to date to her own agenda, and get her to ring you up and let you know if she wants to "stay overnight" with her sexy friends.

Ask your wife if she would like some pretty dresses for her dating, and WHAT CAN i DO around the house in way of chores to "free you up, darling, to go out and enjoy yourself".

Do not be upset if your wife wants to have regular sex with other men, and you never get to see her naked with those men. She might also want to have sexual stimulation from her girlfriends to TRY IT OUT........don't say she can't.

 

[Custer Laststand]

It sounds like you'll be able to move your wife forward, with the right approach.

Croboy,

I've done some light editing of your post as I read through it; I hope you don't mind. This was to clarify it for myself (in part), and also for others who might be interested.

Before I met my wife I had sex with other women, but she was a virgin. When ever we start talking about this, she tells me she regrets not sleeping with other men. She would like to see how it is and experience it.

There's nothing wrong with that; your wife's desire to "experience" other men is very reasonable. It's quite positive that she's willing to say so.

Now, I'm an open guy and we do all kinds of things together, but whenever I suggest talking about her being with another man my wife denies wanting that, and says she doesn't want to do it. But, she says she wouldn't mind experiencing another man just once.

It sounds like your wife is conflicted.... or perhaps I should say, somewhat conflicted. Her social conditioning, which taught her to be a GoodGirl (she was) and now a GoodWife (she is), is getting in the way of her sexuality — but she finds it difficult to "let go" of her socialization by (most likely) her parents, teachers, Sunday school teachers, etc.

We have brought this issue up with our friends about wives being virgin when they married, but haven't gone into detail. My wife's answer was that she could fuck another man, but not with me around. She wouldn't be comfortable with me there, and would not be able to do what she feels like doing.

A fairly large percentage of women view sex as intensely personal and private. They have a hard time getting their heads around the idea of fucking another man in front of their husbands. It sounds like your wife is among them.

Now I wouldn't mind us doing it with another guy just for her to experience it and me being there like a threesome me and my wife having sex and another guy to be there for her to do what she feels comfortable with doing I'm not jealous and she knows that and that I'm open to anything.

Whew! I gotta tell ya', that's quite a sentence. I assume you mean:

"Now, I wouldn't mind us doing a threesome with another man. My wife would be free to do whatever she feels comfortable with, and I would not become jealous. She knows that, and she knows I'm open to anything. But whenever I suggest this, she doesn't want to do it."

From what you said previously, I think the problem is that your wife would not feel comfortable fucking another man in your presence, period. This links back to my comment (above) re. many women feeling sex is an intensely personal and private matter. Many men, of course, also view sex in this way.

Lately, we started having fun with our friends. Our wives give us blow jobs, but we don't swap (we aren't into that). My wife finds she is comfortable giving me blow jobs in front of others.

That's very promising; it suggests your wife is at least somewhat comfortable with her own sexuality. I would suggest building on this game. For instance, one couple could flip a coin; "heads or tails" would be called by the other couple. The woman of the couple that wins (/loses) must then kiss and caress her husband sensuously (both standing) while he kisses and carresses her in return; then work her way down 'till her face is at belt level; then unbuckle his pants and slowly pull them down (while looking up into his eyes and talking to him); then slowly and sensuously pull down his shorts; then give him a blow job to completion (including swallowing his cum), while the other couple remains fully dressed and watches, verbally urging her on. Then, switch and repeat.

I suggest also playing strip poker with your friends, with an agreement that the person first reduced to nudity must do something sexually "humiliating." If it's a man, he might be required, for instance, to masturbate (while the others cheer him on) in front of all until he cums into his wife's hands.... after which, she would feed him his cum; he would have to lick it up and swallow it. Or the "loser," if male, might be required to kneel (on both knees) in front of his wife while she stands with both hands on her hips looking down at him, and masturbate until he cums on her FMBs (or pumps), then he might be required to lick up his cum from her boots (/pumps) and swallow it. Or if a woman "loses," she would have to do something sexually "humiliating," to be agreed on by the four of you.

An effect of such games, I suspect, would be that your wife and your friend's wife would gradually become accustomed to sexual activities in the presence of others; i.e., not just their husbands. This would likely lead to your wife feeling increasing curiosity and a desire to fuck your friend, then, finally, actually doing it (with your encouragement, of course).... and your friend's wife feeling increasing curiosity and a desire to fuck you, then actually doing it (with your friends encouragement, of course). This outcome, if it occurs, would be the first big step in the direction you have in mind.

I'm writing because I need advice on how to get my wife into "doing it" with me. I can see she wouldn't mind, but when it comes down to agreeing she has second thoughts. Any help and advice will be appreciated.

Before doing the above (if you and your wife agree to a "game-oriented" approach of this nature), I suggest reading:

The Science of Cuckoldry Cuckold Couple

Then, ask your wife to read it and spend some time talking with her about it. But, avoid being pushy. Introduce her to it, then if she seems reluctant to talk about it, give her time to think about it. (She will.)

Then, at a suitable later time, suggest this article to her:

Bold :: Brazen :: Beautiful :: Scandalous – A site for women : Scandalouswomen

Then, spend some time talking with her about it. If she seems reluctant, again don't push it.... give her time to think about it. (She will.)

Finally, in addition to whatever "expanded games" (if any) you and your wife decide to pursue with your friends, I suggest proceeding along the lines of the multi-part article that begins here:

A Wife Into A Hotwife Hot Wife Blog - hotwife and cuckold husband fetish discussion

Good luck!

—Custer

 

[croboy]

Thank you for your replies and help.

We don't have in mind doing it with our friends like foursomes I just want my wife to experience it with other guy and then if everything is ok ands she is fine with it we could take it from there

I love my wife very much and she loves me and we do anything for each other so that is why I want to arrange this because she is starting to be more and more open to things. I have done a lot of things before and she is a person that wants to do things but is some times hard to decide into doing it but after she does it she loves it.

I hope more people would give advice on what kind of games we could play and how to approach the topic with her to make her more comfortable.

Thank you