Strap-on?

[I_am_cuck]

Now in addition to my wife using corporal punishment on me she just started to use a strap-on dildo on me this past weekend.

She keeps putting hickeys on my ass, for the past three days. She keeps spanking me as well. I have to admit, I enjoy it.

The strap-on felt so good. One time she had me doggy style and grabbed my hips and was thrusting me hard. I loved it when she paddled me while fucking me. She kept talking to me, saying how she loves me, how my ass is hers, how my balls are hers, how I am hers.

I feel so submissive to her and I love her so much, now more than ever.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Why not....?

I_am_cuck,

Thanks for the update.

Now in addition to my wife using corporal punishment on me she just started to use a strap-on dildo on me this past weekend. .... The strap-on felt so good. .... I loved it when she paddled me while fucking me. She kept talking to me, saying how she loves me, how my ass is hers, how my balls are hers, how I am hers. .... I feel so submissive to her and I love her so much, now more than ever.

This is very cool. Your wife is on a roll, and continues to bring you along admirably. I assume she, and you as well, are familiar with:

Women Who Spank Men - Articles on FemDom Spanking

and:

Take It Like A Man - Pegging and Strap-On Sex

and have watched the DVD:

Bend Over Boyfriend: a couple's guide to male anal pleasure (Fatale Videos 1998, with Carol Queen and Robert Morgan);

and have read:

Sutton, Elise. 2003. Female Domination: an exploration of the male desire for loving female authority (297 pp);

and:

Sutton, Elise. 2006. The FemDom Experience (317 pp)

....?

If your wife is familiar with these resources (so to speak), perhaps it would be of value to others on this forum, particularly women, if she would be willing to comment on them — or if she prefers that you document your experiences here (as you have been doing very well), perhaps she would be willing to tell you her thoughts so you could pass them along to the rest of us....?

Thanks in advance for any elaboration your boss/cuckoldress and you might be willing to provide.

—Custer

 

[AngleBaby]

I believe co-dependence was an issue you were going to deal with.

What happened?

 

[I_am_cuck]

Custer, thanks for the links, I am familiar with some of those but will go back over them, I did like them.

I will ask her if she doesn't mind sharing, but she is not a big computer person, and very rarely gets on, if at all.

AB, yes you're right. I was doing SO VERY well, until she came back from her vacation. I was confident, and self assured, etc. I was not eating much, but was losing a lot of weight as a benefit. I felt good and I never thought about my wife or her affairs while she was gone, as it caused too much pain.

But as soon as she came back I started to get sucked back in. She slowly started to control me again. It was little by little. When we go to stores I follow her where ever she goes, I always ask her if I can do things, she TELLS me what she is going to do. Things like that. She didn't really ask me if she could use the strap on, she did say, "do you want me to us it?", but it was not really a question. Now she doesn't even ask, she tells me to get it. She REALLY enjoys using it, but says she uses it because I like it... guess we both like it.

I do find I feel more emasculated now, my erections are less and I am not very aggressive around her. I may have to tell her of my concerns. She will say thats why she has her b/f's,, (cock), and I am her oral pleaser, as she does tell me all the time.

So yes I feel I am back to being co-dependent on my wife and we have talked of this and she thinks its ok and there is nothing wrong with it.

I am losing myself again, I can feel it. I was so happy by myself. I mean I am happy now and I do enjoy our sex life, but at what price?

 

[AngleBaby]

Your co-dependence is what kept you from seeing the truth before and allowed your wife to abuse you so easily. You can end up in the same pattern as before again.
Your co-dependence will also keep you from saying stop when you most need her to stop.
Even before that though, your co-dependence will keep you from having your own emotions. You will start to think you feel what your wife tells you to feel.
My best advice is to put an end to this co-dependence. Your wife can have a problem with it if she wants, but you still need to grow as a person and learn to respect yourself.

 

[I_am_cuck]

AB, you are exactly right, I know this. It was easy to not be co-dependent on her while she was gone on vacation. I truly felt the best I have in many many years. As its been about 3 weeks since she's come back I am sliding into my old habits, I feel it big time.

I had grown to respect myself, and I had grown as a person. I had started to find myself....man is it messed up.

I have to somehow get back to where I was while she was gone, but with her now here. Its going to be tough as she is the one that wears the pants in the house, as you may know. She has started already to tell me what to feel and not to feel. I am not supposed to talk about her prior affairs, (they are different as they were secret and behind my back, and hurtful, the guy she has now is in my face...I guess its different). I am being bad if I talk about my feelings and my hurt over her affair from the past.

I have some work to do..a lot of work.

 

[AngleBaby]

Take a road trip, by your self. Make it a long trip. Go coast to coast. Hike as many trails as you can. Do not take a camera with you. Take a journal. Do not take a cell phone with you. Take a pen and a pad of paper. Every day, write down what you see and what you feel. Every week, write a letter and send it off to your wife. Write what ever you want.
If in her presence, you become co-dependent, then leave her presence and become independent for a while.

To deny you the ability to talk about your own feelings is to abuse you. If your wife was truly sorry for hurting you, then she should embrace what she had done to you and help you heal, not bury it.

Take this trip and start healing without her. You do not have a choice but to heal, but she had a choice to help or not to help. She choose by trying to bury the issue to not help you or love you.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Some questions you might want to clarify....

I_am_cuck,

Given your comments above:

It was easy to not be co-dependent on [my wife] while she was gone on vacation. I truly felt the best I have in many years. .... I had grown to respect myself, and I had grown as a person. .... It's been about 3 weeks since she's come back [and] I am sliding into my old habits; I feel it big time.

and the comments in your initial post of this thread:

Now in addition to my wife using corporal punishment on me she just started to use a strap-on dildo on me this past weekend. .... She keeps spanking me as well. I have to admit, I enjoy it.

The strap-on felt so good. One time she had me doggy style and grabbed my hips and was thrusting me hard. I loved it when she paddled me while fucking me. She kept talking to me, saying how she loves me, how my ass is hers, how my balls are hers, how I am hers. I feel so submissive to her and I love her so much, now more than ever.

and your comment:

[My wife] is not a big computer person, and very rarely gets on[line], if at all.

and also your comment that your wife re-asserted her dominance over you after she returned from her vacation:

where do you think she learned that techniques such as spanking you over her knees (OTK) and fucking you up the ass with her strap-on dildo, combined with her evidently-more-assertive personality, could be used to establish and maintain her position as the dominant partner and you as the submissive partner in her marriage, thus making it highly likely — if not guaranteeing — you would accept her taking lovers as among her prerogatives? Accept, in other words, her position in your marriage as your boss/cuckoldress?

Did your wife learn the value of such methods in securing your compliance with the ways she wants to live from a woman friend....? Or from the lover with whom she went on vacation....? (Since she went on vacation without you, I assume she went with one of her lovers.... is that the right assumption?) Or by reading the FemDom literature....?

If you don't know the answers to these questions but want to come to a better understanding of your wife and her role as your boss/cuckoldress, and of yourself, I would suggest a long conversation with her someplace you won't be interrupted. Going for a fairly long drive with her, so the two of you are alone together in your car, may be a good way to accomplish that.

—Custer