Sexual-based relationships white woman - black man

[Jerezana]

Hello, I need a little tip specially from men.

I'm a girl on my thirties, good work, well paid, middle class, fairly attractive and fit yaddayadayada you got the picture.

Broke a long-term relationship a little time ago, so I'm a little :wtf:

My problem is 1) I have lots and lots of guys flirting with me, that's OK but 5 over 10 are stupid assholes who look at you as if you were a walking chick, another 4 are really below my standard, the last 1 bores me after 2 days with extra-conventional behaviour.

2) on the other hand I'm in no mood to get involved in another long-term relationship, got lot of friends male and female, a fantastic family life, I love my work and so on, it means I'm not afraid of being alone for a while.

For a long time, several years actually, a certain guy (he's black I'm white) made advances and some flirt that I stopped angrily, because he was the partner of one of my friends on the first place (he's not anymore), secondly because I was on a relationship, thirdly because he's the classical guy "one night shot" and a stream of girls in his past like Casanova.

Some days ago we met casually in a big store, I was with a friend, a girl who later makes several comments to me about how fantastic he was, he's really hot, he must be a sex bomb in bed yadayada, OK, is a hot guy, not very educated but he's really attractive and I'll lie if I say I don't feel any attraction to him, to speak frankly he's the type of guy I love, with a great sense of humour, very strong personality, tall and muscular built and with a great smile, a really massive presence indeed.

Now he sent a message to me for a date THIS saturday. I didn't answered yet I'm not sure I'll do. Let's say I'm involved with this guy just for sex, what do you think of a woman that get involved with a man for sex

1- You consider this woman as a *****, an easy woman in some way?

2- What's the tip to get along with a sex-based relationship? I'm afraid I'm not very experienced on sex to impact a guy -just a couple of long-term relationships before. -I mean, should I expect some exclusivity or it's normal in this kind of relationships to get a "more open" behaviour?

3- What do you expect (black guys specially) from a woman in a sex-based relationship?

Sorry for sharing my complications with you guys I'll be pleased to read your imputs, thanks for reading.

 

[Benncolumbus]

In my opinion a sex-based relationship is just that....two people hook up for sex when they both can and you both walk away, no pressure, no nothing....BUT you both have to agree on that and both know it going in....but usally most "booty-call" relationships dont last that long because almost everytime one or the other starts to develope feelings and thats when it goes downhill. so if you both agree and know that it is a booty-call only then leave it at that..

and if you want my opinion on what people think about you fucking guys just to satisfy your urges...tell them to mind thier own business it is your life and you have the right to be happy and FUCK whoever you want.

Ben

 

[inlove4ever]

Ok...here's my opinion for what it's worth. You just broke up from a long term relationship. Since you wrote the above message, it's presumed that you're not dead. Therefor it is also presumed that you will need sex (Good sex) along the way. If he has any savy at all it's safe to say that he wants to please you so you will want him again and again. Let it happen but only as far as you are comfortable with. As far as feeling like a *****...don't be absurd. Everyone has a level of sexual desire which needs to be addressed. If you want to act like a ***** behind closed doors, good for you. I say go for it. Keep us posted.

 

[Jerezana]

Yes, you got my point and honestly I think you're right.

The problem for me is some spread of the rumor "hey, did you know Jerezana is fucking with X?" "Oh really?" well, this crap. Probably you are from a country where everybody cares about your business, it's not the case in Southern Europe. Women in Italy and Spain, even educated ones with high level jobs, haven't this level of freedom they got in the US, Netherlands or Sweden. So, easily and STUPIDLY you came qualified globally as a *****. He's black, still worse.

 

[Jerezana]

For benncolumbus

He keep repeating for YEARS I was the woman of his life, but it sound to me like a lot of crap (sorry for the expression). I honestly think all he wants is sex, that's ok, at this moment it's all I want too, better if I got good sex. But being inexperienced about sex-based relationship I don't know the whereabouts and the boundaries, just a little from my friends through occasional conversations, no need to help your comment helps to made myself aware of the "protocol".

Thanks for your tips

 

[susan]

It seems to me that as long as you're the one on top of the situation then there is no problem 'going for it'. You mentioned he is the kind of guy you like to be with even tho he may not have the education you have. At this point you have nothing to lose by going out with him...If you're worried about peer pressure or disapproval then meet on the 'other side of town'. If your first or second date leads to a romp in the haystack then you will know if the relationship is worth pursuing by how comfortable you are with the situation and how in charge you are of your emotions. If you feel it will lead into a emotional relationship you dont want, dump him.. If he doesn't fulfill your sexual needs, dump him. simple as that and you know rather than always wondering. Just my opinion

 

[swipe]

relocate

Yes, you got my point and honestly I think you're right.

The problem for me is some spread of the rumor "hey, did you know Jerezana is fucking with X?" "Oh really?" well, this crap. Probably you are from a country where everybody cares about your business, it's not the case in Southern Europe. Women in Italy and Spain, even educated ones with high level jobs, haven't this level of freedom they got in the US, Netherlands or Sweden. So, easily and STUPIDLY you came qualified globally as a *****. He's black, still worse.

Sounds harsh BUT may be you can step outside your current location and move to one of those places you suggest is more free perhaps the UK too. Move to where you can be appreciated for who you are and what you want to be. May be start looking for wealthy cucks from these countries who will back your particular needs of your particular lifestyle.

 

[Jerezana]

Yes Susan

Education in the sense he's neither educated nor an easy-going person. Well, I think you're right, as long as I'm controlling the whole thing, it's OK. Thanks.

 

[Jerezana]

Lol Swipe No offense but the cuckold lifestyle whould be a really really long call for me on this moment, I'm not saying I'm against it, but honestly I've never been with a BM in my life, and speaking of these guy actually, it could be good it could be bad it could be nothing, I don't know how things will be on let's say 2 months from here.

 

[Hungrylips]

You're not involved with anyone, so why not go for it? When I'm between relationships I sometimes treat sex like men do. Most people have had a few one night stands, or relationships where they started having sex early on. You have no expectations that he is interested in anything long term, so you can't get hurt really. Have fun.

 

[Jerezana]

Thanks Hungrylips (wow, that's a hell of a nick ) anyway this guy sent a messagge to me for a date for this night, I answered that I had many things to do so too busy until midnight saying we could met and get a tea or a coffee (I know it's so conventional)

No answer from him, so no man, no fun, no problems, yeah

I keep repeating myself: don't worry, be happy tralalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaa, This afternoon I'll do some shopping with a friend and it will be all

Men!!

 

[inlove4ever]

He has asked for you and you have said no to him. He'll be back. Trust me on this

 

[lewis]

Thanks Hungrylips (wow, that's a hell of a nick ) anyway this guy sent a messagge to me for a date for this night, I answered that I had many things to do so too busy until midnight saying we could met and get a tea or a coffee (I know it's so conventional)

No answer from him, so no man, no fun, no problems, yeah

I keep repeating myself: don't worry, be happy tralalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaa, This afternoon I'll do some shopping with a friend and it will be all

Men!!

............Too bad, you have some much social pressure barring your sexual pressure, and on top of that you're affair to get hurt by this guy. The way to keep control is to decide when you guys can have sex and be unreachable until you need some. You remain me of this attractive/eduated blonde I am trying to get with now. I would give her complete access to find out any part of my life she is suspecious about, but she like you won't take a chance.

 

[Jerezana]

Inlove4ever, yes, he sent me a message yesterday at 23:21 saying OK for the midnight thing. Only problem I was already on my way to home, it means and with all the shopping in the car, when I read the message it was almost midnight.

Didn't answer till this morning, honestly the image of him and his stupid ego alone waiting for me while I was taking a relaxing bath makes me laugh.

This morning I sent him a message "Next time you send me vital signs the day before, busy woman here sorry, kiss"

He keep calling to my cellular for 25 minutes until 12, I did not answer, perhaps his ego collapsed

 

[Jerezana]

Lewis, excuse-me but I don't get the whole message.

Social pressure barring my sexual pressure? :0

It's a social pressure, yes, nothing new on these lands, and yes again I love sex, good sex if possible, but it's not something let's say I cannot leave withouth. It means I'm not looking to any man in my visual camp as a walking dick. I live my life more in terms of relationships than in terms of sex.

Good luck with the blonde