Some questions to consider....
OneForSure,
OneForSure said:
For those of you who have been feminized - do you regret it? Given the chance to do it all over again, would you resist? Or was it your idea? Are you happy being in touch with your feminine side?
Since I haven't been "feminized" (my wife seems disinclined toward that sort of thing), I'm not in the population you're seeking answers from. After my post above, however, it occurred to me perhaps I should have posed some questions relevant to your situation.... so I'll do that now.
1) What does your wife mean when she alludes to "feminizing" you? Would this mean being a man by day (while working) and a woman while at home, going places with your wife, and entertaining visitors — where "being feminine" would mean shaving your body hair from the neck down and wearing lingerie, dresses or skirts/blouses, wigs, and makeup?
2) Alternatively, would it mean fully becoming a she-male 24/7, with female hormones used to attain changes in body shape accompanied, perhaps, by breast augmentation surgery?
3) Does your wife work while you stay home and do the housework and cooking?
4) Alternatively, do both you and your wife (or do you alone) work, such that your income is required?
5) If "4" is the case, do you work among colleagues/co-workers and/or for a manager accustomed to your male appearance, who might become hostile and give you a hard time if you made a transition to an essentially female appearance? In other words, is it likely your feminization would result in high levels of job stress, possibly including loss of your employment?
If "1" is the case and it seems unlikely your feminization would affect your employment, then whether to go through with it would mainly involve your personal concerns and your wife's wishes, as seemingly implied by your posts in this thread.
If "2" and "3" are the case, then similarly whether to go through with it would mainly involve your personal concerns and your wife's wishes.
If "4" is the case, and if "5" is also the case, then potential harassment and loss of your means of earning a living is certainly something you should discuss at length with your wife, as a practical matter.... particularly since finding alternative employment may be difficult or impossible in the current economic climate. Even if your employment rights as a she-male were protected by law, few have the financial resources to initiate a lawsuit — and the time period between being fired and winning your lawsuit (if you chose that course, and if you did win) could easily be years.
A serious, well-written book on the subject of (or at least, related to) your questions is:
Bailey, J. Michael. 2003. The Man Who Would Be Queen: the science of gender-bending and transsexualism. Joseph Henry Press, Washington, D.C. (233 pp).
Perhaps it would be of interest to both you and your wife.
—Custer
