My girlfriend and I started dating about 5 years ago.
I'm 25-years-old and 5 years ago when I was 20, she was my first partner and I was her fifth. I never told her she was my first until about a month in to our relationship and when we got to talking about our past partners, she told me all about the previous 4 partners she'd had (how long ago, just hooking up or relationship, why she stopped seeing him, etc.)...
So we're driving to a dinner party and towards the end of the drive she's giving me the details and for her #4 guy (the guy she had sex with right before me, about 6 months before we met) and she went into such detail about him...
"He was so hot... so tall and handsome... He was my roommate's boyfriend's best friend and I knew him for 5 minutes and we happened to have the apartment to ourselves so I randomly asked him if he wanted to have sex and he said yes... and it was just so incredibly amazing... and he was so big he could hardly fit" as she's explaining this to me, I can tell she starts to become excited all while I'm driving the car trying not to seem jealous but I guess she saw the jealousy on my face because she immediately stopped and began to apologize profusely.
I was only able to let out a soft "no, its ok, i don't mind" when in reality deep down, I started questioning whether she'd ever describe me in such a hot way to her friends, whether #5 stacked up to #4...
Anyways, she stopped talking out of guilt and I was insanely jealous so I couldn't let out a word and we get to our friend's house and I realized we were both fairly quiet the whole night... I'm assuming her from being embarrassed and me from my jealousy and finally, after only about an hour of being there, she says to me that she'd like to go back home....
as soon as we get in to the car she again apologized profusely and by this point I just wanted to forget about it, but I know that it's in the back of both of our minds...
After a fairly quiet ride back home, we finally get in to bed... and to break the tension between us she makes the first move and then I immediately pounce on her... we ended up having the most amazing sex of our lives that night, and she had the most powerful gushing orgasm I'd ever seen her have and when it's all said and done, she quietly, hesitantly said "I don't... I don't know if I should tell you this... especially since we've been having sex for a while now, but I think I just had my first orgasm ever in my life"
And then that was about it... I felt like my insane jealousy about thinking about her being with another man, as well as her possible shame in sharing that story with me has had me wanting more and more of the same experience again and again...
Throughout our then 3 years of dating, she'd every now and then drop occasional comments or hints to the effect of "ooh, look at that black guy, he's so hot" and from talking about her past partners, she told me she'd never been with a black guy...
Finally, after dating for about 3 years, we broke up since we were moving in different directions in our lives and she was moving to Kenya... (she studied languages in college and learned Swahili and wanted to go to Kenya to perfect her skills) and all I could think about when we were broken up was how much I now longed to see her have sex with a black man... for her to fulfill her hidden deep desire to have sex with a black man and how much I really wanted to be there when it happened.
This was all about 2 years ago, and she came back to the US a year ago and 3 months ago we decided to give our relationship another go and it's looking like this time its for good, but again about a month into us seeing each other again, she told me that she'd been with 5 others since we dated last... and this time all 5 of them were black men in Kenya or here... and now I'd give anything to see her with a black man but really don't know if she'd want to or how to bring it up... hence the cuck wannabe.
I'm 25-years-old and 5 years ago when I was 20, she was my first partner and I was her fifth. I never told her she was my first until about a month in to our relationship and when we got to talking about our past partners, she told me all about the previous 4 partners she'd had (how long ago, just hooking up or relationship, why she stopped seeing him, etc.)...
So we're driving to a dinner party and towards the end of the drive she's giving me the details and for her #4 guy (the guy she had sex with right before me, about 6 months before we met) and she went into such detail about him...
"He was so hot... so tall and handsome... He was my roommate's boyfriend's best friend and I knew him for 5 minutes and we happened to have the apartment to ourselves so I randomly asked him if he wanted to have sex and he said yes... and it was just so incredibly amazing... and he was so big he could hardly fit" as she's explaining this to me, I can tell she starts to become excited all while I'm driving the car trying not to seem jealous but I guess she saw the jealousy on my face because she immediately stopped and began to apologize profusely.
I was only able to let out a soft "no, its ok, i don't mind" when in reality deep down, I started questioning whether she'd ever describe me in such a hot way to her friends, whether #5 stacked up to #4...
Anyways, she stopped talking out of guilt and I was insanely jealous so I couldn't let out a word and we get to our friend's house and I realized we were both fairly quiet the whole night... I'm assuming her from being embarrassed and me from my jealousy and finally, after only about an hour of being there, she says to me that she'd like to go back home....
as soon as we get in to the car she again apologized profusely and by this point I just wanted to forget about it, but I know that it's in the back of both of our minds...
After a fairly quiet ride back home, we finally get in to bed... and to break the tension between us she makes the first move and then I immediately pounce on her... we ended up having the most amazing sex of our lives that night, and she had the most powerful gushing orgasm I'd ever seen her have and when it's all said and done, she quietly, hesitantly said "I don't... I don't know if I should tell you this... especially since we've been having sex for a while now, but I think I just had my first orgasm ever in my life"
And then that was about it... I felt like my insane jealousy about thinking about her being with another man, as well as her possible shame in sharing that story with me has had me wanting more and more of the same experience again and again...
Throughout our then 3 years of dating, she'd every now and then drop occasional comments or hints to the effect of "ooh, look at that black guy, he's so hot" and from talking about her past partners, she told me she'd never been with a black guy...
Finally, after dating for about 3 years, we broke up since we were moving in different directions in our lives and she was moving to Kenya... (she studied languages in college and learned Swahili and wanted to go to Kenya to perfect her skills) and all I could think about when we were broken up was how much I now longed to see her have sex with a black man... for her to fulfill her hidden deep desire to have sex with a black man and how much I really wanted to be there when it happened.
This was all about 2 years ago, and she came back to the US a year ago and 3 months ago we decided to give our relationship another go and it's looking like this time its for good, but again about a month into us seeing each other again, she told me that she'd been with 5 others since we dated last... and this time all 5 of them were black men in Kenya or here... and now I'd give anything to see her with a black man but really don't know if she'd want to or how to bring it up... hence the cuck wannabe.
