New Here - First Post

[trammgt]

Hello everyone,

I've felt kind of like a lurker here for a while now, and I apologize. I've been reading a lot and thinking even more over this whole lifestyle. I'm not completely sure of HOW to begin, but I know what I want to say.
Parts of this lifestyle have interested me for a while, and I've asked myself exactly what I am looking for from a wife-sharing/cuckold situation. Maybe I'm not quite cuckold, but this is the closest I've come across. I will try to break things down from first my perspective of what I'm looking for and then what my wife thinks so far...

From my personal standpoint, I love the thought of my wife having sex with others. I had a previous relationship where I got to watch and clean up... and it was amazing. I found nothing more exciting nor erotic as watching her in that pleasure and then adding to it. This is something I want to share with my wife now. Despite this, I lean on the lighter side of "humiliation" and "sex denial". I am about 7", so hardly small, and I've got praise from the women I have been with... something that sometimes makes this lifestyle difficult to explain. I am also not looking to lose my place as the king of my wife's life... at least mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It is from my desire to please her physically and for use to share something special together that my interest in sharing her arises.
I want her to enjoy others physically, to feel free sexually to explore and enjoy... even to procreate. I myself have been on and off fighting cancer and the odds that I can conceive have been virtually wiped out. I get extremely excited at the thought of her taking another to fulfill this duty. Something I can not do. A large part of my fantasy is for her to take on a black lover. Something I have thought long and hard about and come to terms and willingness for the implications and possible consequences.

From her perspective, as much as I have gotten her to open up enough to joke around about having a bf, or being bred by him, and she's been open to some discussion on getting help getting her pregnant, everything always ends with "I could never do that".
I can tell she truly loves me and wants me to be her sole man. And she was raised in a very conservative and religious background. She worries about hurting me, or destroying the sacredness of our marriage. I've tried to reassure her on these regards but it's a slow process. Heck, at first she wouldn't even take pictures like the ones I am attaching.
She claims a very pure background, but her friends paint a different picture... not sure if they're exaggerating or if she's afraid to admit her more risque past. I don't pry, but leave open invites for her to share and open up.
I keep hoping someday I can ease her worries and see her with another man... especially a black man. I would even love to see her bred. So any thoughts, comments, questions would be helpful... I feel lost as to where to go from here. And I do apologize for this being posted in to sections... I wasn't sure where to put it.

Thanks!

 

[trammgt]

Slight Update

Hi all,

I apologize for how long this update took, but I wanted to share what has been going on since my last post. Since then, our "joking" has even opened up to occasionally joking about it as a precursor to or during sex. It's been fun for both and always gets me very excited (And she seems to get wetter). Things are very on and off over this though, and I imagine even joking like this must be weird after her upbringing, but she definitely seems more relaxed.
Fast forward to now: Today was our first day back at the university (we both had started college and have gone back to finish our degrees). My wife is minoring in two different types of Psychology and one of the required classes is "Inter-relational Sexuality". On our ride home from campus the first two things she shared were about this class (even though it wasn't her last one of the day).
First she informs me that the class is mostly guys and that the professor has said the brochures, information and videos are "very explicit" (his wording). Then she made it a point to talk about the fact that most of the guys are athletic black men (she pointed out "athletic"). I think she felt a little nervous at that and she added that they were crude in class, but you know what they say, sometimes you try to cover interest with its opposite.
I also looked through her book and the pictures show sexual acts among other things. I also noticed that there are chapters on masturbation, fetishes, sexual variations and even a section on polygamy and polyandry as well as one that mentions the open-relationship, swinger and wife-sharing lifestyles (albeit - short sections).
Now this class looks at the psychological reasons behind as well as impacts of sex and sexuality in relationships. And outside of my excitement that my wife will be having these discussions and watching these videos with a group of guys, a small part of me is hoping this will open the doors further for us to discuss my fantasies. And who knows where things will go from there... I will keep you all updated as things go. Any comments or advice would be appreciated.