sojourner.q said:
Shaun,
I was just sort of wondering how all of this makes you feel. I mean, if wishes were fishes - would this situation be your ideal? Or, are you just making the best out of a bad situation?
Please forgive if I am prying and being too personal. But, since the brain is the primary sex tool, it intrigues me to try and pry under the hood (so to speak).
hey man, you are not being too personal, i think I'm like anyone else on here. this situation is not ideal. my ideal would be if I had an 8 inch cock that was as thick as a coke can! but I do think this is a good place to be in a relationship and that's honesty. although my g/f saying bad things about my cock and how truly bad I am in bed was not much fun at first I admit I've coaxed her to do so and so some of it may be a bit of an exaggeration. But most importantly after I took a good hard look at myself it went from being not much fun to a huge turn on!
See here's the thing, I like the honesty and I think it makes the relationship stronger. We've been together two years and we've had sex at a regular pace but nothing like we're having now. I mean now the sex is much better. I've had her riding her new toy and seen her shudder like never before. And on the flip side, I don't know 100% why but I really get off on her talking dirty to me during sex (and just during the day), telling me humiliating things like how my dick is so tiny it's a joke, how I can't get her off and etc, etc.
I am no psychologist but I think guys who are cuckold mostly enjoy the humiliation because it's taking something they consider to be a weakness and acknowledging the problem head on, facing the humiliation and living with it, in fact even doing better than living with it, becoming aroused by it. Since we've begun this journey I've really been able to come out of my shell. For example she wanted to do video chat when I'm unable to come home from work and do sex stuff but I really didn't want to because I felt embarrased about how small I am but after all of this last week I had no problem whipping it out. She was showing me her tits and fingering herself while laughing at my cock and telling me about how baby-boy like it was. I loved it.
As for her having sex with other guys, I really don't know. Last time we had sex we stopped in the middle (at my urging) to look at bulls on craigslist. She was telling me "ooh that one's hot" or "that one is thick, I'd like to sit on that" and etc. etc. It made it all that much more hot. I really don't think she'd have sex with another guy, even with my urging, because of the fears of where it could lead our relationship, but I"m not sure, maybe she actually would, it just may take some urging.
I think bottom line for guys like myself, very little experience sexually, very small endowed...that we wouldn't mind allowing our woman to get banged by a well hung dude if we 100% were sure that it wouldn't cause her to want that so much she'd leave you. I don't think that would happen but of course I'm not entirely sure of it. I think that's a big part of the cuckold experience, that you allow your woman to experience a huge cock and get off in a way you can't give to her but yet she still stays with you. If she doesn't stay with you and just dumps you then cuckolding isn't much fun anymore now is it? So I definitely think it's a relationship test.
Another part of cuckolding that is strange is you don't 100% know for sure what is real or not. Like my g/f tells me that size really does matter and I 99% believe she's telling the truth in that, but yet I also wonder because she told me previously it didn't and I've read alot on the subject and I think for most women size does matter but it's kind of like the deal with guys, they prefer bigger tits but they can still get off without them. I don't know, but believe me, I'm not fooling myself, if I could have a bigger, thicker cock I'd definitely take it because although size may not matter as much as men tend to think it does I am sure it'd be better to most any women if you weren't as small as I am.
So there's a lot to think about, all I know is I'm enjoying the ride right now. I'm really getting off on the whole small penis humiliation thing. As you may or may not know I had testicular cancer and only have one testicle and my sperm is pretty much at zero. So that's something I have that she has humiliated me with as well "are you going to put that worthless liquid your baby dick puts out into me now??" and she sometimes talks about how much of a joke my "package" is with a 2 inch dick and one ball... She did ask me if that was ok or off limits and I told her no by all means, it's really the case so don't be afraid to make fun of it.
I think because of my testicular cancer and losing a testicle it actually puts me in a mental place where some men may not be, in that I've confronted my huge shortcomings (literally and figuratively) when I was in a pretty rough place and I lived through it. Right now the hardest thing is restraining myself from sending me pics of my little dick so she can send me back comments about how pathetic it is. Last night I sent her a pic of it and didnt even have to wait for her reply before I was able to cum all over myself.
So all in all it's all good now. Where the future will take us I don't know. I'd never make her sleep with someone just to get myself off, no matter how powerful the fantasy (and as I said I'm not entirely confident about that fantasy either) but if she ever seems like she'd want to we'd talk about it and if she wanted to do it I'd have no problem with it. So long as we are completely honest and she's not doing stuff and lying to me about it. That's something I can't put up with... But she'd never do that.
She did tell me the other night she dreamt I was having sex with other women and talking to her about how inadequate she was. I pointed out how backwards that was and that it'd be her, not me, sleeping with other people. Then I reminded her about my small weenie and how no other woman would ever want that and it made her laugh and say that was a good point!!
I also believe part of what turns us small guys on about our woman banging a big cock is the whole sluttiness of it. Women today are often so prim and proper and all that it's nice to see the woman you love become a cock craving slut. Not to mention I'd love to see some real sex in action right in front of me, ala my very own porno starring the woman that I picture (usually) when I jack off.
I will say though I don't really get off on the whole eating-a-creampie thing. I'm not usually real big on going down on a woman (I enjoy it when I'm drinking for some reason though) but if I was I can't ever see myself eating another guys cum out of her pussy. Maybe I would if she demanded it though, but I'd prefer not to. I also have enjoyed many a dildo/toy up my rear end but I can't see myself sucking a guy of taking cock like many dudes here. I enjoy the anal play but I don't consider myself bi-sexual. I'd just be content to jack it in the corner while my g/f gets it from a BBC or two.
