How I got started

[debra48f]

Hello

I have received a few messages asking a bit more about me and how I got started, so I figured I would let you all know through a post.

My name is Debra and ive been married to my husband Gary for 14 years now. I am 48 and he is 55, we have no kids.

Let me tell you a bit about myself. I am 5'4 with shoulder length brown hair (however I tend to switch colors between various shades of red, however usually settle with a dark red color). I have brown eyes and I do my best to keep my body in shape but it is hard fighting time, shes a real bitch.

As for my body I have natural 38DD chest that is starting to sag with age and a plump butt that I am very self conscious about because my husband teases me about it every time I try to get him to start exercising.

My husband is CRAZY, in the jealous sense. Im 48 years old and sure my body is starting to sag but I do like to TRY and keep in shape and dress somewhat youthful, however if I wear anything thats not a baggy tshirt and loose sweat pants my husband seems to think im not dressing my age. This is terrible since I LOVE to suntan and any bathing suit I want to buy is "too revealing" or "not for my age". Also, my husband has been quite lazy lately, never really wanting to go out anywhere or having plans, however if I want to go out with a friend he gets upset and wants me to stay home with him and keep him company.

About a year and a half ago my husband got a bit ***** at a bar mitzvah party and decided to hit on and flirt with two of my friends. They both played it off as the alchool talking but he tried to follow up on it a week later. They were disgusted by it and decided to tell me all about it.

At first I was very upset about this however as time went on I realized this gave me an opening to be more outgoing in our marriage. It took me a few months to work this out with my husband but eventually I forgave him. However, I decided that my husband being jealous was just him being insecure since he most likely was flirting with my friends or random women he meets, who knows right??!?!?

So I decided that I would dress the way I wanted in order to feel good about myself and my body. Just because im 48 doesnt mean that I have to dress the part, its not like anyone knows im 48 anyways unless I tell them ( I hope! ). And I still wear sweatpants, however the tighter ones that my big rump seems to stretch out. So quite innocently, just to see if I still had it going on I decided it would be fun to try flirting with some of his friends.

Unfortunately for my husband they didnt seem to mind quite as much as my friends did. Now I never intended for it to go beyond simple flirting however things never go quite as planned. The attention became addicting! I dont have intercourse with any of them however I do perform most anything else (oral, boob sex, fondling, kissing, etc.). Three of my husbands friends are involved and they have introduced a fourth who doesnt know my husband.

We get together at least once a month, sometimes twice. We dont actually get together strictly for sexual things. For example we would get together for a bbq, or go out dancing or play poker, etc. If sexual things happen, then they happen.

Basically I am able to get the self esteem and confidence from my husbands friends as well as able to dress the way I want, and in case any of you were wondering I do suntan in whatever type of bathing suit I want (Its easy to wear it under your clothing or put it in a purse).

I would be happy to answer any questions you may have or describe how some of our get togethers take place in more detail. At first I felt like crap after I found out what my husband did, now I really dont care, im having the time of my life while my husband sits home alone on the weekend because he never has anywhere to take me. Or maybe its because his friends dont seem to interested in calling our house anymore, to speak to HIM at least.

 

[desertsub]

Good for you! If your husband isn't willing to be a real man and take care of your wants and needs then more power to you going out and finding your own fun! I love seeing a woman who isn't willing to put up with a humdrum existence just because her husband is is a lazy stay-at-home. And that business of hitting on other women when he's not even taking care of business at home just makes it that much worse. I would say you're justified in your actions, and think you should take it to the next level by having intercourse (unless you're perfectly happy with what you're doing now, and I doubt that!)

 

[Harry2614]

Hey, Debra! welcome to the site;

I think you should go over to the "Wife Pix" post, on this site and let us see a good look at you obviously GREAT bod!!!

Cheers, Harry

 

[loveslife2005@yahoo.com]

Please tell the stories, especially how you began with each fellow. How did you let them know you're available, what happened, etc? Would you like to have spontaneous with attractive strangers if you met someone at, say, the mall?

 

[Custer Laststand]

Your "problem solution" is creative and entirely appropriate....

Hi Ms. Debra,

Thank you for your interesting post which, I would say, presents a creative and appropriate solution to your "husband problem" which, in fact, is very widespread.

Let me tell you a bit about myself. I am 5'4 with shoulder length brown hair .... brown eyes and I do my best to keep my body in shape, but it is hard fighting time. As for my body, I have a natural 38DD chest that is starting to sag with age and a plump butt that I am very self conscious about because my husband teases me about it every time I try to get him to start exercising.

It sounds like you're a very attractive woman who takes the time and effort to keep yourself in shape. As for your "plump butt:" Many (perhaps most) men are sexually attracted to women with "plump butts," which they think of as curvy and sexy. Your husband giving you a hard time about it means he is hoping you will abandon your exercise program and let yourself go to seed, as he is doing, so he will have company (so to speak) with a fat wife and so other men will not be sexually attracted to you.

My husband is CRAZY, in the jealous sense.

In other words, he's possessive. He feels he has ownership rights to you.

I'm 48 years old, and sure my body is starting to sag but I do like to TRY and keep in shape and dress somewhat youthful....

That's OK. Forty-eight is still relatively young. Lots of women are very attractive and sexy at 48. It sounds like you are too.

....however, if I wear anything that's not a baggy t-shirt and loose sweat pants, my husband seems to think I'm not dressing my age.

This is a very specific indication of your husband's possessiveness. He knows he's physically going to pot himself, and is too lazy to do anything to improve that situation. Instead, he's trying to make sure other men will not not find you attractive by strongly encouraging you to wear what can reasonably be described as ugly clothing.

This is terrible since I LOVE to suntan and any bathing suit I want to buy is "too revealing" or "not for my age." ....

You're right, that is terrible. Also, your husband strongly discouraging you from doing things with friends is well-known abusive behavior aimed at reducing your independence and self-confidence, thereby increasing your dependence on him.

Re. your husband attempting to flirt with your woman friends at a party:

....At first I was very upset about this; however, as time went on, I realized this gave me an opening to be more outgoing in our marriage. It took me a few months to work this out with my husband but eventually I forgave him.

Good, about deciding to "be more open" in your marriage. A good way to continue this trend would be — without nagging, but rather in a loving, rather sensuous way — to also become more assertive. Re. "forgiving your husband," that's cool. You came to terms, so to speak.

However, I decided that my husband being jealous was just him being insecure since he most likely was flirting with my friends or random women he meets; who knows, right??!?!?

Yes, you have it right.

So I decided that I would dress the way I wanted in order to feel good about myself and my body. Just because I'm 48 doesn't mean I have to dress the part, its not like anyone knows im 48 anyways unless I tell them (I hope!).

Hey.... at 48, and as you become older, you have every right to dress like the attractive woman you are.

And I still wear sweat pants, however the tighter ones that [stretch over] my big rump.

Why wear sweat pants if you don't like them? I would suggest looking into the exercise-clothing scene at sporting goods (or other) stores. I think you'll find tight and somewhat hot-looking exercise clothing is available.

Making a change to tight sweat pants that show off your buns was a good move, though. As an additional improvement, I would suggest thinking of and referring to your sexy-looking ass as your "buns" — as in, "Do you like my buns, sweetheart?" (to a man you're flirting with) — rather than thinking of and referring to your sexy ass as "your big rump," which implies a negative self-image.

So quite innocently, just to see if I still had it going on, I decided it would be fun to try flirting with some of [my husband's] friends.

Awright.... that was exactly the right idea. You got on the right track.

Unfortunately for my husband, they didn't seem to mind quite as much as my friends did.

Yes. Men are like that. If a woman flirts with them.... especially an attractive woman like yourself.... they like that, a lot.

Now I never intended for it to go beyond simple flirting....

No, no.... of course not.

....however, things never go quite as planned.

A true statement, for sure. (I think that's among the laws of physics.)

The attention became addicting! I dont have intercourse with any of them; however, I do perform most anything else (oral, boob sex, fondling, kissing, etc.). Three of my husbands friends are involved and they have introduced a fourth who doesnt know my husband.

Great! You're a woman who follows through! By doing so, you have increased not only your attractiveness but your credibility with your husband's friends, whom you can now think of as "your men." Men think of all those things you described, especially oral sex — i.e., sucking their cocks and/or seducing them into bringing *you* to orgasm by sucking your pussy — as forms of sex. In a real sense, you can think of all four of them as your lovers-in-waiting.

We get together at least once a month, sometimes twice. We don't actually get together strictly for sexual things. For example we would get together for a bbq, or go out dancing or play poker, etc. If sexual things happen, then they happen.

That's great. Since your husband's "friends plus one" are including you in their activities, you can bet it's because you're flirting with them *and* giving them sex.

Basically I am able to get the self-esteem and confidence [I need] from my husband's friends. Also, I can dress the way I want AND I suntan in whatever type of bathing suit I want (it's easy to wear it under [my] clothing or put it in [my] purse).

That's excellent. Good for you.

I would be happy to answer any questions you may have or describe how some of our get togethers take place in more detail.

I think it would be of interest for you to do that, since "the problem" of married women getting together with lovers is mostly a logistical problem (if they have to do it without their husband's knowledge, as you do). I suspect many of the women who follow this forum — even if they don't actually post — would find whatever you have to say on this subject to be of value.

At first I felt like crap after I found out what my husband did, now I really don't care, I'm having the time of my life while my husband sits home alone on the weekends because he never has anywhere to take me.

It sounds like you've discovered some of the pleasures in the philosophy one sometimes hears: "I don't get mad, I get even."

Or maybe it's because [my husband's] friends dont seem to be interested in calling our house anymore, [at least not to] speak with HIM.

It also sounds like you've discovered one of the most valuable uses of the cell phone.

Congratulations again, Ms. Debra, for your creative and entirely-appropriate solution of your "husband problem." You might now begin thinking (if you aren't planning this already) in terms of taking your sexual relationships with your husband's friends — i.e., your lovers-in-waiting — to the next level. That, of course, would be full sexual intercourse with them. One possible strategy would be to meet with them individually for "complete" sex, in addition to your more social meetings with all of them (which are also of a sexual nature, as you pointed out) at more widely-spaced intervals. In that way, you could attain sexual satisfaction (say) three or four times weekly.

Another possibility you might consider would be to meet with all of your husband's friends simultaneously, just as you are now doing, but extend your interactions (so to speak) with them to full sexual intercourse in whatever ways please you. This would result in you attaining sexual satisfaction less frequently, but it would probably be more intense because of the "gang bang" nature of this approach.

Best wishes—

Custer

 

[knockedup]

I agree completely with what Mac said about women today and how many married women are having extramarital affairs primarily to be able to enjoy better, or in some cases "any" sex if they are not getting it at home form thier husbands.As he said, husbands have been doing this for ages,often seeking out younger women just for sex when thier wives lost interest or became unattractive to them, but women generally had affairs to fill a emotional void,but now women are also doing it just for the sex when thier husbands are not providing whet they need,and it is becoming a much more "accepted " practice thanks to high profile cases as well as, I think , the internet and the abundance of information out there about "cuckolding" where women see that other wome are doing it and that many have husbands who either condone it or downright encourage it,especially if they do indeed have a small cock or are "3 minute men" .I posted a while back about my situation and my husband falls into both categories,but I am going to post a seperate update about that.
I am glad to see more acceptance here on this forum of a woman;s right to do what what she needs to do to be satisfied, with or without her husband's approval.I know Custer had always supported that idea, but many husbands,even many on here, have in the past condemned wives who do it onthe sly for being "cheaters" and not makinging thier husbands aware that they were being cuckolded. I do think that is preferable myself, of for no ther reason that the "logistics" Custer mentioned...it is difficut for many women to have affairs behind thier husband's back, especially if they are the possesive and jealous type, or if the wife fears tha being "found out" would hurt or even end her marriage..in fact my origina posts were about asking for advice on how to get my then husband to be to go along with being cuckolded..but that;s not always possible and it shouldn't prevent a woman form getting what she needs. sexually,even if she is satisfeid emotionally with her husband.I knew I wanted sex more along the lines of the 3or 4 times a week Custer mentioned as opposed to once every couple of weeks and knew that that would be difficult to do without my husband becoming at least suspicious so I definitely wanted him to know and accept what I was doing, plus, for those of you who never saw my original posts, my situation was such that I pretty much had to include him because I had gotten pregnant by another man.(hence my handle) ..but again. I'll address that in my "update" post..I don't wantto make make this thread about me.
Debra.. go for it girl...it doesn't soun dlike you will be able to openly cuck your husband, but you certainly do have the right to feel good about yourself, and sexy,and it;s great that your husband's freinds are giving you that.If you decide at some point to take it further and start actually having intercourse with any or all of them that would be wonderful too,but that's up to you.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Hi Ms. Knockedup,

Good to hear from you again! You have given Ms. Debra some good advice.

Regarding some of your comments:

I posted a while back about my situation and my husband falls into both categories, but I am going to post a seperate update about that.

It sounds like you did, indeed, successfully marry the man you described as your fiance ("Paul") when you first posted. Congratulations!

I am glad to see more acceptance here on this forum of a woman's right to do what what she needs to do to be satisfied, with or without her husband's approval.

There does, as you say, seem to be widespread acceptance among the men on this forum of it being a married woman's prerogative to date and have sex with whomever she likes, often with the understanding her husband will remain faithful as her cuckold. If you have noticed this acceptance seems to be increasing, that's good.

.... In my original posts, I asked for advice on how to get my then-husband [then-fiance?] to go along with being cuckolded.... but that's not always possible, and it shouldn't prevent a woman form getting what she needs sexually, even if she is satisfeid emotionally with her husband.

I agree.... and I'll be interested in hearing how your campaign to persuade your then-fiance, "Paul," to accept that you were pregnant by another man, and to accept becoming your cuckold immediately, in essence, from your marriage day onwards.

I knew I wanted sex more along the lines of 3 or 4 times a week as opposed to once every couple of weeks....

Well yes, of course....

.... plus, for those of you who havn't seen my original posts, my situation was such that I pretty much had to include him because I had gotten pregnant by another man (hence my handle). But, I'll address that in my "update" post.

I agree, your situation was rather more complicated than what one usually sees in this forum.... but not impossible.

Incidentally, you said you were 3 or more months pregnant when you first posted in early March 2009 (or maybe you said that in a PM) — so it's now 9 months, or somewhat more than 9 months, since you were impregnated. Have you given birth? If so, how is your new baby doing? Well, I hope....

I'll look forward to reading your update.

Best wishes to you, your relatively-new husband, and your baby—

Custer

 

[debra48f]

Thanks for all the kind words and support! Im glad you are all on my side.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Hi Ms. Debra,

Thanks for all the kind words and support!

You're welcome. Thanks again for posting your interesting story.... I think there may be quite a few wives who are more-or-less in your situation (vis-a-vis your husband, that is).

I'm glad you are all on my side.

The members of this forum tend to be generally in favor — um.... let me rephrase that — strongly in favor, actually, of married women like yourself making their husbands their cuckolds. Since your husband clearly does not appreciate your beauty, your sexuality, and your other attributes and qualities, and is, in fact, mistreating you, many (perhaps most) of us support you even more strongly.

I wish you the best in your sensuous adventures with your husband's friends, and hope you will not forget the advice of an anonymous married woman: "Making your husband a cuckold is among the most pleasurable rewards available to you as a married woman."

I hope to hear more from you, when you feel you are ready to describe more of your experiences.

Best wishes—

Custer