Guilt

[sassycouple2004]

My wife and I have been swining for about 6 years now. The problem is we also go to church every sunday and I dont plan on changing that...so there is an issue with reconciling the lifestyle with our real world life. We also play in the cuckold world...so there is a bit of guilt that she feels that Im wondering if anyone else has had this issue and how to overcome it.

We are very normal down to earth people that did this to express the fantasies we each have had for years. She really gets into it while doing it..and she enjoys meeting people. Its just the next day kind of thing sets in and she feels bad.

 

[HeyAll]

I've been there, the first time I tried interracial, I had a boyfriend at the time, great guy too. I wrote about it if you want to read it, it's in my thread search. I was with him for one night and the following morning, then flew back home and was picked up by my boyfriend. That was problably the most guilt I've ever felt in terms of a relationship, and it was the first time I've ever cheated.

That, along with being raised in a strict Jewish household and raised to never even date a guy outside of our race. A certain member on this forum won't let me forget it ether *wink wink* Allen


I eventually overcame it by justiftying to myself thinking "hey, it's just sex", and that's it. What happens in the bedroom stays there and it's no one elses buisness.

 

[susan]

I attend Mass 2 times a week, sometimes 3..and I get a great deal of inner peace from the practice. Hub and I are active in our church affairs and neither of us has problems with the "double standard". We both feel no one is being hurt by our activities and like all in our swing circle, it brings us closer together. No, I dont confess this "Sin" to our Priest, because I dont think it is sinning. And yes..there have been times when Ive had sex with another man or woman in the morning of a house party, took a quick shower and we attend Mass on the way home. The same holds true when Ive been with my BBC lover.

 

[Hots_hubbie]

Its more common than U think even with us southern baptist.

 

[sassycouple2004]

So the innver conversation my wife is having with herself you think is how can she be a christian or believe in God and still fullfill her sexual needs?...as if the two are not compatible? I know that we both have a deep spiritual need, but we also have sexual needs that if we try to ignore, always ends up coming out anyways via pillow talk. It seems to me like she is ok with pillow talk, but actualy doing it is where she seems to feel the guilt. Thank you for your posts and responses.

 

[yorkie]

I'm an atheist but was raised Catholic so I get the guilt thing. I think the only criteria is 'are you hurting anyone else?' and 'does everybody taking part consent and are they capable of consent ?' if the answers are no and yes respectively then , enjoy.

 

[kittensucker]

Ezekiel 23:19-20 (New International Version)

19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a ********** in Egypt.

20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

 

[yorkie]

Its a pretty weird book, that's for sure

 

[Josetta]

I'm an atheist but was raised Catholic so I get the guilt thing. I think the only criteria is 'are you hurting anyone else?' and 'does everybody taking part consent and are they capable of consent ?' if the answers are no and yes respectively then , enjoy.

I agree 100% with what you say, "if it is not hurting others, and you are doing it for mutual enjoyment, then you are adding happiness and value to the lives of those you have sex with".

Do unto others as you want them to do unto you.

Don't covet your neighbour's wife - or he might punch you in the face! But it is human nature to notice how sexy she is.

If your neighbour asks you to lie with his wife (and she agrees) - it is not adultery or wrong; and you might loan your wife to him in return (if your wife agrees).

If you give yourself and some diseases you have, then that is sin if you have not had the diseases cured by a Doctor or pre-warned the person you wish to lie down with for sex.

Sex between consenting couples is never wrong, if that is what their hearts' desire.

 

[Josetta]

I know women in the 60's who can't touch themselves with fingers below the waist, because the RC church frightened them as a child about their trip to Hell if God looked down from the sky and saw them doing it.

 

[yorkie]

All religions are the same: religion is basically guilt, with different holidays

 

[fanara]

It's rare to see a black guy in our town so when one joined our church we got friendly with him amd used to invite him over to our place. The conversation turned to swinging and we came to the conclusion that it wasn't wrong if enjoyed in moderation and not allowed to become an obsession.

 

[fipilipip]

My wife and I have been swining for about 6 years now. The problem is we also go to church every sunday and I dont plan on changing that...so there is an issue with reconciling the lifestyle with our real world life. We also play in the cuckold world...so there is a bit of guilt that she feels that Im wondering if anyone else has had this issue and how to overcome it.

We are very normal down to earth people that did this to express the fantasies we each have had for years. She really gets into it while doing it..and she enjoys meeting people. Its just the next day kind of thing sets in and she feels bad.

everyone has sex. lots have sex with condoms. they feel not guilty (i think), why should you??

 

[Bootyz]

Hm

My wife and I have been swining for about 6 years now. The problem is we also go to church every sunday and I dont plan on changing that...so there is an issue with reconciling the lifestyle with our real world life. We also play in the cuckold world...so there is a bit of guilt that she feels that Im wondering if anyone else has had this issue and how to overcome it.
QUOTE]

Well, if the guilt is too strong, I guess it can be crippling for your sex life - is that a problem for you? It's not altogether clear.

Some of the allure of swinging, cuckolding and whatnot no doubt stems from the 'wrongness' of it, the taboo...as such, I wonder if taking away allthe guilty feeling actually is all that good. If it's not 'wrong' anymore, is it still sexy? Or has it become boring vanilla stuff all of a sudden? I guess that will depend on the individual.

I'm not religious myself, but Christianity is all about forgiveness and praying for guidance and whatnot, right? You can tell your wife that she can ask God to help her find her way - she can pray for God to show her what is right, and if (and I stress that wording) what she does is sinful, that God takes away those feelings.

And you can pray to God please please not to take away those feelings from her, hehe.

Alternatively, she can pray for forgiveness for her 'wicked ways'. Christianity seems to always require constantly renewed forgiveness for their sins, as they are never, ever free of sin. So whenever she feels guilty, she can ask forgiveness.


Anyway, I will stress again that I'm not religious, so take this with a pinch of salt.

 

[macestar]

I agree 100% with what you say, "if it is not hurting others, and you are doing it for mutual enjoyment, then you are adding happiness and value to the lives of those you have sex with".

Do unto others as you want them to do unto you.

Don't covet your neighbour's wife - or he might punch you in the face! But it is human nature to notice how sexy she is.

If your neighbour asks you to lie with his wife (and she agrees) - it is not adultery or wrong; and you might loan your wife to him in return (if your wife agrees).

If you give yourself and some diseases you have, then that is sin if you have not had the diseases cured by a Doctor or pre-warned the person you wish to lie down with for sex.

Sex between consenting couples is never wrong, if that is what their hearts' desire.

It takes both hands to clap.

 

[5inchwhite]

Ezekiel 23:19-20 (New International Version)

19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a ********** in Egypt.

20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

Filthy.

 

[kittensucker]

She could always work out her feelings of guilt by spanking you each time for leading her to sin.

 

[Josetta]

If she lusts after her lovers, then she is enjoying sex and (all their attention has not been wasted). She is being honest that they turn her on, and God gave all of us FREEWILL to enjoy our bodies in ways that please us.

If sex is not something that excites you, then your heart will wither like a prune left in the sun too long.

 

[poeboyy]

I can appreciate your problem as my wife and I are also church goers and want to have fun as well. We have not played for some time as she got to feeling guilty but she sure did love it when she was the center of attention. I am trying to get us out again to at least dance and then work from there.

 

[Josetta]

Do more of the things you enjoy, and less of the things that don't feel so good