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Struggling with the reality of sharing her (UK)

  • Thread startercuckstruggles
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cuckstruggles

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Mar 12, 2025
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Hi there,


I’m 35, and my now-fiancé is 24. We’ve been meeting with a guy who is 50 for just over 12 months now. This whole journey has been a long one for us, as we were talking about this for around 6 years before actually taking the plunge. While it was originally my idea, my fiancé was far too nervous to go through with it. But eventually, it became something we both agreed to, and I spent a lot of time convincing her to be part of it. It was my idea, and I can't stress enough that it took me a long time to get her to a place where she was comfortable with this.


What I struggle with:


I’ve been struggling mentally and emotionally more than I ever imagined. My fiancé is really enjoying this new dynamic; she’s becoming more confident, her self-esteem has improved, and generally, she seems much happier. It’s been a huge change for her in a positive way. But for me, it’s been incredibly difficult. I can’t even explain how much this situation has affected me mentally. I find myself battling intense feelings of jealousy, anger, and a lot of anxiety. Every time we meet with him, those feelings get more complicated, and it’s hard for me to keep them in check. I feel like I’m drowning sometimes in all the emotions, and it’s hard to cope.


What’s even more difficult is that I can’t fully express my feelings to her. I’m really struggling internally, but I’m scared to let her know just how much it’s affecting me. She’s in such a good place right now, and I can’t bring myself to tell her how much it hurts. I worry about how it might impact her mental health. I don’t want to be the one to undo the progress she’s made, especially because it was my idea to go forward with this in the first place. She has no idea about the weight I’m carrying, and I’m not sure I can ever tell her.


The connection she has with him is growing stronger, and it’s hard to watch. I had no idea it would be this intense for me. I thought I could handle it, but it’s become more overwhelming as time has passed. The relationship between them is deepening, and I can’t help but feel a mixture of envy, fear, and confusion about where I stand. There are times when I worry about what this will mean for our relationship, but honestly, I don’t fear her leaving because of it. I believe in the bond we have, and I trust that despite everything, our connection is strong enough to withstand it. I have took photos and videos, to almost hide behind the camera and watch back.


What I’m looking for:


I’m really looking for someone to talk to – someone who can be a long-term friend and maybe even a pen pal. I need someone who is open-minded and non-judgmental, someone who can ask me questions and help me process these complicated emotions. I feel like I need a space where I can talk openly about the struggles I’m facing, especially the mental health side of things, without the pressure of worrying about how it will affect others.


I’m not looking for anything more than friendship, just a person who can listen, offer advice, or simply be there to chat. It’s important for me to feel heard without the fear of judgment. Ideally, I’m looking for someone who might even be able to understand what this situation is like, or someone who is genuinely curious about it. I’ve never really found anyone who could relate, but I feel like I need that right now – a supportive, understanding friend.


So, if you’re someone who enjoys having deep conversations and can relate to the complexity of relationships and mental health, I’d love to hear from you. I need to take care of my own mental health while also supporting my fiancé, and sometimes, having someone to talk to is the only thing that helps me navigate through all the noise in my head.


Looking forward to connecting with someone who gets it.
 
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hi,i have just read your mail,i found it interesting as to which way you are and will go.you say it materialised 6 years ago?,is this so? that would put her at 18,or thereabouts.i would like to hear more from you,try and help etc.,i am a good listener and mature enough to understand,also,im in the uk
 
It is a dangerous game you have chosen to play,

Jealous is a common and natural reaction in this LS, its shows the weakness in your relationship and your lack of control of what is now happening. You do need to talk to her about this.

He is 50, she 24, lucky him, she will be expanding her sexuality, doing different things with him than with you and enjoying this as you will know.

Is he married? i ask as its possible he just see her as a bit of fun and not after a true relationship with her, but sex for a women is a very emotional act so connections are made quite easily as you now see,

You dont say if your involved at all in the planning. Who arranges the meets?

How often do they meet up?

Whats your role in this?

Are you there when he is fucking her or are you excluded?

Apart from jealousy, why is it incredibly difficult for you?

What is your relationship like when she is away from him?

After such a long time it maybe difficult for you to ask her to stop, you do need to explain to her how you feel, honestly and communication is key in this lifestyle.

You are not alone in spending a lot of time wanting this, then regreting it, nor is her increase in confidence now she has a lover.

A lot of couples do end up splitting up as a result of entering this lifestyle, its possible she is deeply in love with him, can you really share her?.

Then again it can also work as it did with us,

My girlfriend cheated on me twice before we married when she was 18, she told me about them both immediately and i then became her cuckold husband, the difference between us is i have never felt jealous, the time she spends with her lovers are exciting for me, i am involved in any way i want.

Then we return back to "normal" married life, We are so simular in many ways, we like the same stuff in normal life, are both very dominant characters but both sexually submissive, she to another man, me to her.

She has said, there are two types of men, "keepers" as in ideal husband material, a man to fall in love with, have a family with, a man to care for her, love her as an equal, accept her for who she is and be loyal to her, a man to spend her life with. He will trust her and she him, both will accept and enjoy each others kinks and desires. Accepting you have a GF or wife, who wants and needs a lover within the relationship and are happy for her to do so is rare.

The other is a male or males that can bring out the complete slut in her mind, expand her sexually depraved mind and take her sexuality to new heights, then when thats complete, another lover arrives who can then continue with this and expand her sexuality further.

In a loving trusting relationship she can share her wants and desires openly with her husband knowing he gets enjoyment out of this too and he now knows he isnt her lover of choice and is fine with this.
 
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"I’m 35, and my now-fiancé is 24. We’ve been meeting with a guy who is 50 for just over 12 months now. This whole journey has been a long one for us, as we were talking about this for around 6 years before actually taking the plunge."

There in that sentence is many of the problems that have been sowed.
  • You started the discussion when she was 18 before even reaching sexual maturity
  • You started the discussion when she was 18 before you and her even had time to explore & develop your own sexual relationship
  • The 12 months has given time for a relationship to develop
  • Being together for 6 years ans still not married shows a real lack of commitment to the relationship

I was a cuckold to my late wife and am a cuckold ot my current GF.
 
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2wheel said:
"I’m 35, and my now-fiancé is 24. We’ve been meeting with a guy who is 50 for just over 12 months now. This whole journey has been a long one for us, as we were talking about this for around 6 years before actually taking the plunge."

There in that sentence is many of the problems that have been sowed.
  • You started the discussion when she was 18 before even reaching sexual maturity
  • You started the discussion when she was 18 before you and her even had time to explore & develop your own sexual relationship
  • The 12 months has given time for a relationship to develop
  • Being together for 6 years ans still not married shows a real lack of commitment to the relationship

I was a cuckold to my late wife and am a cuckold ot my current GF.
Thanks for the reply.

Well telling her the fantasy was a mistake, she asked me if I had any after a night out (both *****) i said I didnt but she could tell I did.

We are engaged, and had been engaged 6 months before actually doing this. We are due to marry in 15 months
 

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