What do you do with a guy who sucks in bed?

[she_likes_2_be_touched]

I have been dating off and on the same guy for 10 plus years now. We have certainlly had our ups and downs in the past. Both have cheated and both have been hurt. But I truely feel in the grand scheme of things we do love each other. We do not live together and up until this point never have but he has spent many a night here at my house. I was married for almost 13 years prior to him and my ex had a 10 in dick. Trust me when I said it hurt me at times because I am small and tight vaginally. I was use to getting it every night and now I hardly get it at all.

Stephen and I have grown apart and so has our sex life. His dick is so small that I hardly feel it in me, therefore it's hard for me to get off unless I rub my clit while he fucks me and I honestly have to think about fucking others to get off while he does it. I truely get off better if he just fingers me and I rub my clit. Sometimes he has problems keeping it up or hard and he is only 30 years old!! Sad huh? Regardless he can like only come in 1 position (me on top) but he has to play with it and right before he comes have me get on top!! WTF??? Talk about SUCK!! A few times he was able to cum in me while we did doggie but most of the time its the same ole routine. BORING!!!

I think if his cock was bigger and I was getting fucked more regular I'd want it more but honestly I am to the point that I don't want to fuck him no more becaue he sucks in bed!! A few times I went out and got fucked while that panzy ass stayed here and watched my kids so I could get fucked really good with a big dick and get full of cum. And of coarse since he was nice enough to do that for me I came home, stripped and straddled his face and let him lick me clean. OMG that was the most awesome feeling in the world being able to get my pussy serviced properally and letting my lil pussy boy lick it clean.

So I'm thinking it's time to just a.) find a new bf with a dick that can satisfy me and dump the little prick or b.) get me a steady fuck and still hang out with my lil prick. It really is unsatisfying to be with someone like that and honestly I do not want to lose interest in sex all together.

Any advice?
Thanks,
Kat

 

[Atlopencpl]

Tough question that only you can answer. We have been married many years now and I can say in the grand scheme of what a marriage is, sex is a small portion no matter how randy you are. It's an important part and ideally you can have a perfect life with both from the same man but it is an imperfect world. Your choices that you outlined were incomplete. They should be in order of preference a) mate with a big cock that is a perfect match, we love each other, communicate and have the same goals b) mate who is good to me, loves me, has the same goals, we communicate but I get fucked by others or have to use supplements (extensions, vibrators etc) for pleasure from him c) (do not select) big dick mate who fucks my brains out but is a complete asshole otherwise, disrespects me, abuses (verbally or physically), has no shared goals.

A is obviously perfect, B is what we have working, but don't let sexual bliss lead you to a man who is an ass otherwise.

 

[Warpt]

If you want to stay married, let him know what it will take to stay with him.
If you don't want to stay married, find yourself a boyfriend with a big dick and have fun.
You have to decide, not us.

 

[Custer Laststand]

First, I endorse the suggestions above re. getting your man checked out medically.

If he doesn't have any identifiable health problems that can be dealt with such that his sexual performance improves, and since you aren’t married, it would be reasonable to terminate your relationship with your unsatisfactory man and seek another. There are plenty of pebbles on the beach (as the time-worn saying goes), of many different rock types.

If, on the other hand, you want to keep your man for reasons that don’t seem apparent from your post, you might consider making him your self-acknowledged cuckold and, by way of doing so, establishing yourself as the dominant and him the submissive in a “cuckold boyfriend / hot girlfriend” relationship. For initial justification, you might point out to him this short article:

Study: Women Are in Charge at Home | LiveScience

and familiarize yourself with:

How to cuckold your husband (or boyfriend) Ch. 1:
How to Cuckold Your Husband - How To - Literotica.com

How to cuckold your husband (or boyfriend) Ch. 2:
How to Cuckold Your Husband Ch. 02 - How To - Literotica.com

I also suggest looking through:
Elise Sutton's Female Superiority Page

and, early on — after you and he adequately evaluate his health status — starting implementation of Ms. Elise’s procedures 1 thru 15 (or more). “Procedure 1” is available for free on her main site. For the subsequent procedures you’ll probably have to subscribe to her e-zine “Predominant” which is quite low-cost relative to most pay sites. (Disclosure: I have nothing to do with Ms. Elise, and gain nothing from suggesting her site, e-zine or books.)

Or, for an alternative strategy see:
Real Women Don't Do Housework

Given your description of the pleasure you found in straddling and riding your cuckold-to-be’s face while feeding him another man’s cum from your pussy, I suggest informing him that his days of pretending he can satisfy you with his diminutive penis are over. Inform him that henceforth he will be your cuntsucker (pussylicker if you prefer) and asskisser. Introduce him to:

Riding the north face:
Riding The North Face Sex Position

Riding the south face:
Riding the South Face Sex Position and any other cunylingus positions illustrated on this site that may appeal to you.

Re. your cuckold-to-be becoming your asskisser, see (e.g.):
5 Top Tips for Expert Analingus (aka Rimming, Salad Tossing, Butt Eating) - Los Angeles Sex, LA After Dark

For yourself, read:

The fine art of queening:
The Fine Art of Queening and consider:

Chin dildos:
The Accommodator Chin Dildos, Face Dildos, Head Dildos, Facial Dildos

And the “making him mind” strategy here:
Making Him Mind, The Transition Begins

Consider assisting yourself with becoming and remaining the dominant partner in your relationship by informing your cuckold-to-be that henceforth, you will do the fucking and he will be fucked. Then, obtain the DVD:

“Bend Over Boy Friend” (available from online sources)

and watch it with him. See also:

How to bend over your boyfriend and make him like it:
How to Bend Over Your Boyfriend and Make Him Like It Sex Secrets

Strapon primer:
Take It Like A Man - Pegging and Strap-On Sex

Then, purchase a strapon harness with a suitable-size dildo… relatively small at first, then you can work up in size… at your local sex shop or online.

I hope this is enough to get you started, or at least thinking along the lines of some alternatives. If your unsatisfactory man is intransigent and refuses to have anything to do with any alternatives you propose — such as, but not limited to, the above — I suggest returning to paragraph 2 of this post.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Some further thoughts...

Hi Ms. Kat,

On considering the specifics of your post, some further comments came to mind. Re.:

…. [My unsatisfactory small-penis boyfriend] can only come in 1 position (me on top), but he has to play with [his weenie] then right before he comes have me get on top!

This is a very strong indication that your small-penis boyfriend wants to be submissive to you in a D/s (dominant / submissive) or, more specifically, dominant boss-woman / submissive-boyfriend relationship.

Re. introducing your small-penis boyfriend to anal sex (for him, not you) by way of becoming the boss-woman in a relationship of this nature, see photos here:

bendoverboyfriend

Regarding the DVD “Bend Over Boyfriend” I suggested in my previous post, which includes very good “how to” instructions, see (e.g.):

Bend Over Boyfriend - DVD - EdenFantasys or:

Bend Over Boyfriend: A couple's guide to male anal pleasure - how to have anal sex video

Re. your comment:

…. A few times I went out while that panzy ass [my small-penis boyfriend] stayed [home] and watched my kids, so I could get fucked really good with a big dick and be filled with cum.

That was VERY promising. By babysitting your children while you went out, your small-penis boyfriend in effect told you, multiple times, that he views it as among your privileges and prerogatives as his boss-woman to enjoy the pleasures of dating, seducing and fucking other men while he remains faithful. In effect, he told you he is willing and able to take on one of the most important duties of a self-acknowledged submissive cuckold: babysitting and caring for your children while you’re out seeking sexual satisfaction with other men.

This brings to mind, incidentally, a short well-worded post by a forum member a while back (I can’t recall by whom): “I’m sitting here at my computer, reading, typing, and beating my weenie while my wife is out fucking a sausage.”

Re. your comments:

…. And, of coarse, since [my small-penis boyfriend] was nice enough to [babysit] for me, when I came home I stripped, straddled his face and let him lick me clean. OMG, that was the most awesome feeling in the world — being able to get my pussy serviced properly then letting my little pussy boy lick it clean.

This too is highly positive. Obviously you reveled in the feelings of power you gained by, in essence, forcing your small-penis boyfriend to acknowledge your right as his boss-woman to fuck other men, then enjoying additional orgasms (it sounds like) brought on, perhaps in no small measure, by your feelings of personal power as you required him to lie on his back in a subservient position and suck your cunt while you rode his face, feeding him from your pussy and requiring him to swallow the cum of the other men you had fucked.

You might consider increasing your queening pleasures, and his too, by requiring your small-penis boyfriend to purchase queening furniture for you. See, for instance:

QUEENS AND KINGS EROTIC FURNITURE COMPANY

For erotic photos and illustrations of dominant women queening submissive men, see (e.g.):

queens and kings-the_history_of_queening (then scroll down to “Queening, Anyone?”) and:

queens and kings - janes_guide

(Disclaimer: I have no relationship with this co., do not benefit in any way from suggesting their site or from sales of their products, and have not personally purchased any of their products [to date].)

Your description of the pleasures of queening your pansy-ass pussy-boy (as you call him) after fucking other men, and your expressions of contempt for his sexual talents (or lack thereof), suggest you may be ideally suited to the role of boss-woman in a “dominant woman / submissive cuckold” form of long-term live-together (LTR) relationship with him. If you decide your small-penis boyfriend is satisfactory in your LTR — that is, as your self-acknowledged submissive cuckold serving you while you enjoy the sexual pleasures of other men — you might even consider informing him, at some point, that it is time for him to give you his hand in marriage and accept your surname as his own, such that you become, formally, Ms. and Mr. (your first name) (your last name). This practice is becoming more common. See, for instance:

Is it time for the man to take the woman’s surname in marriage?
Comments: Is it itme for the man to take the woman's surname in marriage?...

A potential advantage of your small-penis boyfriend taking your surname in marriage would be that this would eliminate any possibility of conflict over who the father(s) of your future children (if any) might be, since your future children, bearing your surname, would unambiguously by YOUR children. The question of whether Mr. (your first name) (your last name) is or is not their biological father would disappear as a possible source of conflict.

Good luck!

—Custer

 

[she_likes_2_be_touched]

Thanks everyone for the info and feedback. Stephen is not overweight or diabetic but hes had issues in the past with keeping his lil willy hard.

I will no doubt be reading those links Custer. I love it.
KAT

 

[reeyees]

Before you leave him, have you thoroughly thought about getting a bigger harder boyfriend? Okay, how long do you think he would maintain interest in you sexually? Forever? I think not. I'm been married 12 years now and trust me, the spark doesn't last that long. Now I must be a different breed of husbands. We love each other dearly, but the sex has to be addressed. We've talked about it and we have "Swung" . Seeing her satisfied sexually,is a bonus to me. Same. Vice Versa with me. I'm not going to leave her for the first sweet pussy that comes along , just as she's not going to leave me for the first sweet dick that comes along ( at least that's what I hope). If you were my wife, I would love you to satisfy yourself elsewhere. It's just sex. Monogamy is overated . Your'e sharing your life with me, I would do whatever it takes to make you happy. So who is the fool? You or him? Talk to him about it. If he doesn't understand, then he is not the guy for you. He is being selfish. Just my two cents.